Own a Piece of Small Beans Herstory! (Patreon)

Hey, Michael here! As you're no doubt aware, the Jim Henson Company episode of Disney Owns You is OUT and WATCHABLE and kinda FUNNY, even, if you squint. 

The unquestioned star of the episode, Muppet Fuckin Mcgee (pictured above expressing his feelings for you) was constructed at great expense (about $250 in materials and tools) and personal cost (I cut my little finger and burned my little other finger) by myself and my Mom. It was operated by Abe and me during the shoot, and fondled by everyone on the DoY set at some point. 

WHY are we telling you all this?

Because, as a way to recoup our muppet costs, clear space in my small apartment's tiny closet, and inch us ever-closer to our next Patreon goal (an operating budget for Down Time, a monthly pop culture discussion series), we have decided to AUCTION OFF Muppet Fuckin McGee. 

All proceeds will go directly to future Small Beans projects, and the winning bid will include all shipping costs (as in, we'll pay for the shipping out of the winning bid). He will be signed by Katy, Michael and Abe, and appear in a short thank-you video shouting out the generous winner here on Small Beans.

RULES OF THE AUCTION

If we can't recoup the 250 bucks it took to build him, it would make more sense for us to just keep this bad boy in a trash bag in storage somewhere, to use in future SB vids in cameo roles, as an unofficial spokesbean, or simply to look at as old men and recall happier days. As such, bidding will start at 250 dollars.

If no one bids the minimum reserve amount within a full week (by this Sunday evening at midnight PST), we will consider this to have been a stupid idea and keep the muppet ourselves.

You can bid in the comments section, simply by clearly commenting in a way that communicates that you are bidding, and how much you are bidding.

The winning bid will be the first bid to stand unchallenged for a full 24 hours. Anyone who comments with a higher bid within 24 hours is the new winning bidder, until/unless they are topped. You get it. 

When a bid stands for 24 hours, we will contact that person to make sure it wasn't a troll or prankster. If it wasn't, they WON THE MUPPET! If it was, THE NEXT HIGHEST BIDDER WON THE MUPPET!