The Gamer Chapter 1634 – A Made Bed (Patreon)

“We were supposed to do it together,” Metra complained. “Emrik and his need to complain really get in the way of everything fun.”

“Well, she could have waited for you… but I don’t mind that it was just her.” John played with the short bangs of the First of Hatred. She looked quite peaceful all tuckered out as she was. He had carried her to the bed in the small set of rooms between his and Momo’s offices. “When did you formulate that plan anyway?”

“After Lulu got her ass handed to her,” Metra stated.

“She really does act with certainty once she has stuff worked out, doesn’t she?” John hummed. He could admire that. He did, in fact, admire that. It was human to have doubts and issues, it was impressive to act rapidly once one had come to a decision. Most people dragged their feet even when they knew what they wanted and how to get it.

John was intimately familiar with overthinking.

“Knock, knock,” Momo announced herself.

John turned his head, to find his fairy maid with red eyes and red wings. “Busy elsewhere?” he asked.

“Someone has to do the work you leave lying about,” she answered with her regular sassiness. “Although I’m actually gathering you and everyone else up right now. Harem emergency session in 30 minutes. Should give the new member enough time to wake up.”

“That’s enthusiastic,” Metra stated.

“I’m sending Delicia here in case.”

“Am I in trouble?” John asked and double-checked the writ in his inventory. Momo’s signature was there with the rest of them.

“Not exactly, but I want to address some issues right now and I think if I don’t make it an ‘emergency meeting’, you horny lot won’t listen.” Momo crossed her arms and sighed. “I want to sort that out quickly.”

John just nodded, and a moment later, the teleporter in the neighbouring room flashed. “The doctor is here!” Delicia announced herself.

“Can you even help a Metracana?” Metra asked while the alchemist strutted past.

“Can I even help a Metrana,” the bratty maid repeated, every word underlined with barely withheld laughter. “Listen to yourself, thinking there’s things I can’t do, that’s so cute!” Delicia put down a small bag of things on the bed. “You do remember I technically am one, yeah?”

“I do vehemently disagree with Gaia’s definition on this,” the First of Wrath answered. “A Metracana is more than a more complicated Artificial Spirit.”

Delicia shrugged and licked Ehtra’s cheek. The First of Hatred stirred a bit in her sleep, but remained tuckered out. Smacking her lips, the alchemist tasted the sweat then nodded to herself. “Should be easy enough,” she stated and reached into her bag. A couple of substances were filled into a glass bottle, mixed up with some water, and then swallowed by the alchemist. “That’s gotta cook for like a minute. Entertain me, rich people.”

“You’re just as rich as I am… literally, what’s mine is yours,” John stated.

“Why do I have a separate bank account labelled ‘research funds’ then, hmmmmmm?” the shortstack demanded to know.

“Because I don’t want to end up like Maximillian with his sister?”

“Bah,” Delicia waved off, “what good is a national reserve anyway? You got to invest money to keep me happy? Don’t you want to keep me happy? Hm? Is that your issue? No love for the Poor?”

John let out a deep sigh, reached into his inventory and presented Delicia with a 100$ bill. “For the pun.” He said and pinched her cheek. “Buy yourself something nice.”

“Ey!” Delicia smacked his hand away, but took the money. Annoyed, she waved it at his chin. She probably meant to get in his face, but she was just too short. “Don’t you patronize me just because you’re big!” She bounced on the spot, trying to make herself more imposing. All she managed to do was draw his attention to her jiggling cleavage.

The banter was suddenly interrupted by Delicia putting two fingers in her mouth. Out came an orb that looked like hard candy left out in the sun for too long on a moist day. It solidified fully after a few moments. John still felt a bit weirded out whenever he saw Delicia produce medicine this way, but she was a being of metal and magic, hygienic concerns did not exactly exist here.

Jaws were pulled open, the spherical medicine thrown in, the jaws closed. John did not notice Ehtra swallowing. “You will all pay for doubting my genius,” Delicia complained, as if anyone had called her out.

A moment later, Ehtra’s eyes flew open. She snapped up, looked around, then visibly relaxed. “Fuck,” she cursed and held her head. “I mean… wow… I mean…”

“Don’t try to put it into words, we all know,” Metra stated with a grin. “All makes a little more sense now, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, I mean… at least someone is having fun with this body they forced on me.”

“You literally said it wasn’t me alone,” John reminded her.

“I recall saying no such thing,” Ehtra stated.

“Read my lips, woman. You told me the huge tits weren’t just my desire.”

Ehtra rolled her eyes. She tried to get out of the bed, but her legs refused in tandem with her torso. She let out a very unsoldierly sound, before John caught her. “I said no such thing,” she insisted, as he helped her back up. “Also, can’t you rein yourself in a little bit? I can’t feel a third of my limbs!” Ehtra manifested her wings, only to give him a soft feather-smack.

“Don’t distract from the main topic – you can read lies.”

“And I am telling you I said no such thing,” Ehtra insisted with increasing agitation. “I would never confess to anything as base as wanting to look attractive. How pathetic do you think I am?!”

“She doth protest too much,” Delicia chimed in.

“What was the last wise thing that came out of your mouth, short creature?”

“The medicine that lets you feel your legs right now.” The shortstack gave the naked thigh of the maid a nice smack. Ehtra gave her an unappreciative sneer, but wiggled her toes. “Your gratitude is truly palpable, can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you around.”

“…Your expertise is appreciated,” Ehtra relented and now got up properly. “How long have I been out?”

“Only about ten minutes,” John answered.

“…That seems about right,” Ehtra stated, scooping some of the semen dribbling out of her up. She drew strands between her fingers, hesitated, then wiped her fingers off on the bed sheets. “You truly are the embodiment of self-control,” she remarked sarcastically.

Momo sighed out loud. “And you’re the embodiment of saying the opposite of what you mean… what?!”

The other three people in the room had turned to her. “Come on,” Delicia just stated, teasingly.

“Sssssshhhhhut up!” Momo demanded, tapping her heel. “To the living room, now!”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Twenty minutes later, the majority of the harem was gathered. Lydia managed to be present via video call, working on some paperwork while she waited for the talk to begin. Lu Zhi did not have the same presence. Technically, she didn’t have the right to be there either, being a trial haremette and all that, but they all knew that was just a temporary matter of affairs existing solely for her.

Momo stood at the head of the table. Near her were Gnome, Salamander, Undine, Lydia (in spirit), Nia, Scarlett, Hailey and Ehtra. The last entry on that list was somewhat ironic since that was the clearly cautious camp of the harem.

On the other side of the table, headed by Aclysia, was the much smaller camp of her, Beatrice, Claire, and Siena. These women had been quite outspoken regarding their opinion that John deserved all that John could get.

The rest of the harem was headed by Rave. Eliana, Nathalia, Sylph, Metra, Lorelei, Lee, and Nightingale sat around her, along one side of the table. These were the women that did not feel strongly one way or another.

The fact that this was not the largest camp was in and of itself a sign of a problem.

John sat on his own opposite of his first fiancée. He hadn’t been banished there. Rather, he sat there for the same reason that everyone in the room was wearing clothes. It just felt appropriate for the situation they were in.

“I’m glad you’re that much more comfortable with public speaking these days,” the Gamer said jokingly.

Momo rolled her eyes, while other haremettes chuckled. There was no tension in the air to be discharged. The matter at hand was serious, but not serious enough to lose their humour over. “I, Momo Firefly, hereby call the harem to order,” the sassy maid declared in her most official voice. “I have gathered you all for my emergency meeting about the sheer size of this harem!”

“Let’s hear it then,” Rave spoke up. “’Cause I thought we kinda had this solved?”

“Maybe we do, maybe we don’t, but I feel like I seriously got to put my foot down here.” Momo turned her attention to John. “It’s been about a month between Lulu joining us and Ehtra coming in, time dilation included. It's been over two months between Nightingale and Lulu. I won’t accuse you of not at least trying to slow down, but we’re reaching critical mass.”

“I know,” John assured.

“I know you know, but you don’t act like it,” Momo stated and let out a long sigh. “I can’t exactly blame you for it either, right? I understand you’re a man and that your monkey brain tells you to spread your genes and blablabla, let’s skip this stuff. The point is you are now way past the point where women come to you, you’re at the point where women the Abyss over will fall for you specifically. Case in point.” Momo gestured at Ehtra.

The First of Hatred sat, arms crossed, among the others and said nothing. There was a bit of guilt in her sneer. It was obvious she knew she was contributing to a problem but had done so anyway because it was what she wanted.

John had the decency to let the same guilt show on his face. He couldn’t refute anything that Momo had just said, because it was true. He knew his harem had graduated from enormous and entered the realm of absurdly large. They were coping with that fact well for the time being.

“This cannot go on like this,” Momo stated the obvious. “I don’t want to say this, but we are reaching the point where it doesn’t matter how many extra bodies you have, it’s getting seriously difficult to keep knowing all of us.”

“A condition for this harem,” Gnome stated, her voice firm and sincere, “is that we all at least like each other, love each other optimally. This is why this works.”

“That is why you have the power to veto,” Aclysia chimed in.

“Aclysia, it’s not about whether or not you have the power to say no or not,” John said against his own support. “It’s that it is disrespectful to all of you to ignore the express wish that I pump the brakes.”

“Again, you get it but you don’t act like it,” Momo stated.

John let out a long sigh and threw his hands up in surrender. “What can I say that you don’t already know?”

“Nothing, and that’s not the point anyway, this is not an intervention or anything like that.” Momo awkwardly clapped her hands together a few times, creating quiet sounds. “There’s 23 of us right now. Jane told you before that we have a hard limit at 30. I don’t even know if that will keep strong, but whatever the case is, you don’t need to race to fill it up.”

“The demand is plainly this,” Lydia’s voice echoed from the speaker. “You should begin considering yourself a man that has a harem and stop thinking of yourself as a man building one. That part of your life is coming to its end.”

Part of John was irked by the demand. He shoved the emotion down with all of the force one could shove down an ugly part of themselves. ‘They’ve all been beyond gracious with me on this front,’ he told himself and held onto that thought with conviction. “I’m trying to do that – I will do that,” he promised.

“You already are doing that,” Gnome assured him.

“We did stop the whole ‘sleeping outside the harem’ thing,” Salamander reinforced.

“I just sit over ‘ere as a cautionary meas’re,” Hailey added.

“That’s basically it,” Momo agreed with the country gal. “Just… next time you see a submissive, crazy, dangerous woman, when your first thought is ‘hamena, hamena, hamena’ try to put that thought second or third in the row, okay?”

“Okay,” John promised.

“Whew,” Momo let out a relieved breath. “That went about as smoothly as I expected.”

“Wouldn’t be a functioning harem if tiger wasn’t reasonable on topics like this,” Rave said.

“He’s beyond gracious,” Aclysia stated.

“Sure… major but not total topic change: it’s time you review the ‘Breeding List’,” Momo said.

“Why do you put that in fucking air quotes, sass-ass?” Eliana wanted to know. “It’s a literal impregnation order.”

“Right, so I finally get to see it?” John asked. He had heard about this mythical register before, but had not been made privy to its details. A notification opened up in his field of view, letting him know there was a new message on the Harem Comms. He opened it up and saw an image taken of a computer screen.

“We were negotiating back and forth about who goes where, how many get to be pregnant at a time, and so on,” Scarlett informed him. “The important details of a business deal.”

“It was sooooooo boring and tense,” Sylph complained. “We had to roll dice and stuff for some of us!”

John had a look at the actual list while he listened.


‘Using Excel to organize my procreation schedule,’ John thought and chuckled to himself. Beyond that amusement, the list was about what he expected. “Five at a time,” he commented.

“You disapprove?” Nathalia investigated.

“No, I don’t think so?” John tried to formulate an opinion on the matter. “I can’t quite say. 5 children between over twenty caretakers sounds fully reasonable, but I don’t know how it will be until we get there.” That was met with nods. It wasn’t as if they were so confident about this list that they wanted his signature on a definitive schedule. “I assume the same logic is why there’s no ‘cooldown’ period written down here?”

“Yes,” Lydia answered first. “We decided it would be best to wait how the household is affected before we declare how long the gaps ought to be.”

“Yeah… then I have nothing to add to this.”

And so, they turned to other topics.