The Gamer Chapter 1582 – Birthday John 6 – Group 5 (Patreon)

“You’re all so lazy,” Rave ridiculed them when she stepped outside and found them all still sitting there. “Did ya just chat your hour away?”

“Did we?” Lee checked her phone, as if she would find anything unexpected on the display. “Wow, we did. Guess we’ll vacate the spot then.”

“Urgh, and I was getting so, so spoiled!” Sylph complained, slowly rising from her position in John’s lap.

Remaining seated, John emptied his cup of water while he waited for the transferral ritual of kisses, hugs, and conspiratorial whispers to conclude. The fifth dating group of his birthday was made up of Rave, Beatrice, Delicia and Gnome. There were two somewhat common pairings in there, Rave and Gnome obviously spent a lot of time together as two of the leader figures in the harem, as did Beatrice and Delicia as fellow maids. Between those two groups was some of the least overlap to be had between his haremettes though.

That meant that they ‘only’ spent a minimum of 4 hours a day together, being the morning and the evening periods. It really could not be overstated how much John’s life had come to revolve around giving his harem the time to interact with itself.

Those 4 hours were group time, though, not exactly quality time for individual haremettes to interact with each other. John had no doubt that his first fiancée was using the regular meetings they had without him to comb over such differences. It was good to do his part though.

While Rave remained with the previous group, Gnome, Delicia and Beatrice took the seats that were now vacated. This did include John’s lap, quickly claimed by Delicia. “Shortie replaces shortie,” the Gamer joked.

“Being compact just has so many advantages!” Delicia declared. Partly rising out of his lap, she showed off just how much of her pale butt spilled past the hot pants she wore today. Her top was similarly skimpy. She looked like she belonged at a Californian beach. “What, you don’t like it? Want me to get my plush butt out of here?”

“No, no, this is fine.” John put his hands on her shoulders and kept the smug shortstack right where she was: fat ass resting on his thighs.

“Ain’t nothing fine about this!” Rave complained when she swayed her hips over. The lady of his love was wearing a particularly adorable, white summer dress today. It was extremely ladylike, except maybe for the amount of cleavage it showed. The pink cascade of her hair was… partly tamed.

The sight was so alien John had missed it until he took a closer look, but there were certainly straightened strands among the curly tide, which were then woven together to create a band on either side of her head, that joined at the back in much the same fashion as Gnome’s braids did.

How she had done this, against the ancient family curse that made her hair as anime as it was, was a question John did not get to ask. “First you make the weather all winterly.”

“It’s 26 degrees Celsius!”

“299,15 Kelvin!” Delicia threw in for good measure.

“Practically freezing!” Rave insisted and put up a, hopefully, acted shudder when a soft, warm breeze rolled over them. “B, we ain’t getting stuck here. Up! We are going to the beach!”

Beatrice rose mechanically at the demand. The passive maid wore a black-white swimsuit. That had been enough of a hint for John to be unsurprised at this demand by the first of the haremettes.

As for Gnome, she also stood up quickly. The earth spirit was conservatively dressed, fitting with her comparatively plain figure. A long, red dress, airy enough for the weather, while hiding as much as was appropriate. The Gamer found it fascinating how effectively the season elemental could counter her lack of sexiness by being sincerely attractive. Not that Gnome was lacking in the erotic department – she was just surrounded by women that were absurdly gifted in one or many specific categories, while she herself was plainly balanced.

“And third: ya really gonna ask everyone about Ehtra today?”

John just shot her a knowing smile. “You don’t approve?”

“Nah, it’s good, just wanna tease ya about it. Now up!”

‘Happy wife, happy life, as they say,’ the Gamer thought and got on his feet, picking Delicia up in the process. Why let the alchemist walk when he could princess carry her, squeeze her thighs, and watch her boobs jiggle with every step he took? Really, he was privileged for keeping her feet from touching the ground.

Delicia knew what he was thinking, smiling up at him all the while like a particularly haughty cat. Her toes wiggled in her flip-flops. “That’s right, rich boy, carry your peasant woman around! Use those arms for something useful.”

“You know that I literally destroyed an ancient, global empire in order to save you, yeah?”

“It wasn’t even a millennia old, doesn’t count!” Delicia shot straight back.

“Back to the 4 millennia old thing then.” John switched his attention back to his former girlfriend. “You were calling me out?”

“Ja, ya big ol’ perv, going around asking each and every one of your girls about a new one that ya literally met yesterday, on your birthday.” Rave delivered all of that in the tone of a particularly happy cat, eager to show her litter box cleaner how many mice she had killed today. “I love ya.”

“I know,” John stated coolly.

Rave snorted in amusement. It was a cute sound, mostly because it came from her. With her head, she pointed John to one of the paths that led to the piers at the bottom of the fortress. She wanted to take the scenic route to the beach. They began walking and Beatrice spoke up.

“Statement: the harem bloat is real, please…“

“Just like the One Piece!”

“…refrain from unnecessary additions for the time being,” Beatrice finished her sentence despite the weeb interruption. “Addendum: please refrain from references to that awful show.”

“Still can’t believe ya just said that! One Piece is awesome!”

“No.”

“I kind of like it…” Gnome mumbled.

“Clarification: both of you have no taste in media.”

“Yeah, give it to them, Bae,” Delicia egged them on. She stretched in her position across John’s arms and lazily looked back. “Don’t let them get away with their shallow praise of stuff that’s just flashy colour and fan service without substance.”

“…90% of the reason why you even are part of the harem is because you are all fan service with boob substance…” Gnome muttered. “Oh, shoot! D-did I say that out loud?!”

The gathered rest of the harem just giggled at the blushing season elemental. “Way to let out the mean streak, Gnomy.”

“I just… I… uhm… Uwuwuwu…” The brunette stammered and Gnome-noised her way through a couple attempted sentences before finishing up with a simple, “Yeah.”

“I think we’re pretty clear on not adding Ehtra anytime soon, but, ya know, keeping the ears perked and all that.” Rave’s feline listeners twitched to underline the idiom. A gesture distracting enough to forgive that the idiom did not make a whole lot of sense in that context – or that it was supposed to be ‘eyes peeled’.

‘Fact that I even needed a second to realize that…’ John thought to himself, as he put his butt down in the gondola. After Delicia was comfortable in her seat, he got the boat moving. “I just want to get a good read on what everybody thinks about her and this series of dates works well enough for that.”

“Again, I like her,” Rave said. “Hate looking at her armour though.”

“Why?”

“’Cause I keep thinking, ‘That’s a Sister of Battle,’ and then I hate myself for knowing what that is.”

“Likes One Piece, doesn’t like Warhammer, typical bad opinion haver,” Delicia mocked.

“Ya wanna take an early swim, ya sweaty goblin?” Rave asked.

“I only choose to sweat because it’s hot!”

“It’s cold tho!”

“You really need to stop being so totally wrong, Jane!”

“Ya need to realize you’re lucky you’re cute!”

“So?” John interrupted the harmless banter. “Ehtra?”

Delicia wiggled a bit tighter against his side, before answering. Her white skin glistened, water evaporating off her skin. “I honestly don’t have a hard opinion on her,” the alchemist revealed. “If you’re pressing me on it, I guess she seems a bit lost? That’s about it.”

“Addition: I echo the sentiment. Reading people is not my strong suit. I regard her as truthful in her wish to annihilate the Lorylim and act as an additional maid in-between. That is enough for me, at this time. Further opinions will be formed.”

John turned his gaze to Gnome, who was the last to give her opinion. “I think…” The autumn elemental thoughtfully pursed her lips. “I think… Umu! I think she’s quite similar to Undine and Lydia, with a dash of Eliana in there?”

“That matches what others have said,” the Gamer pointed out. “The Eliana bit is new. Where do you get that?”

“You remember how… Eliana was when Herman brought her back? All… attaching herself?”

“Do I remember her trying to pay me back so hard that she thought getting herself knocked up would be the smartest way to go about it? Yes.”

“W-a-ha-haiiiiiiit, whaaaaat?” Delicia shouted.

“Can we finish this first?” Gnome requested, causing the alchemist to suck in her cheeks. Pillowy lips took the least attractive form of the hourglass-shape that John had ever seen. Delicia nodded. The autumn elemental went on, “I mean that she’ll probably… fill the void Tiamat left o-one way or another.”

“Yeah, that also tracks,” John sighed. Things were starting to get repetitive, which meant the picture was getting much clearer and less doubtful. Then again, they were also all operating from the same first impression since they had all met Ehtra around or at the same time. ‘Could be a case of collectively getting it wrong,’ he cautioned himself.

The ensuing silence barely lasted a second before Delicia smacked her thighs at the speed of an excited duckling waddling about. “Spill the deets, Gnome!”

“Uhm, uh, yeah, that happened?” the autumn elemental said.

“Eliana, then Thana, who was really Eliza, came back and went all like, ‘You’re literally the first person that’s ever been nice to me, imma just take your semen in me, okay?’ except she skipped asking,” Rave gave a succinct and not totally terrible summary of what had happened.

“And then?” Delicia asked.

“I got an Achievement for it…” John began and immediately had to stop because Delicia broke out into a laughing fit that lasted for half the trip to the private beach. She kept slapping his back throughout and, at one point, nearly kicked Beatrice in the face from just how hard the laughter made her move about the place. “…You done?”

Delicia lay in the middle of the boat, on her back, and stared at the sky, a grin tired from too much laughter spreading her lips. “Yeah, I’m done. Please grind me to metal dust and scatter me in my workshop.” After another giggle, she asked, “Okay, but seriously, you got an Achievement?”

“For having become a father, yes. Moment we noticed, less than two hours afterwards, Eliana realized that I didn’t want kids at that point and that she shouldn’t have kids at that point and… I don’t even know, had her white blood cells take care of it?”

“I’m not even going to wonder how it makes sense that you got an Achievement after less than two hours of cumming inside her, considering she is her and you are you,” Delicia pointed out in a dry tone, which switched to genuinely curious afterwards. “Really have to wonder how quickly we’ll get pregnant once you get to it.”

John looked at the shortstack at the floor and the way her juicy tits were pancaked by gravity. Breeding talk was one of the most dangerous topics when it came to restarting his currently appeased sex drive. That was no reason to avoid it though.

“Theory: considering Master’s current virility and our own fertility scaling with Libido, it will likely take us an average of 12 minutes to get pregnant.”

“That the average time until orgasm for John?” Rave asked.

“Affirmative, although that figure is going by total time until orgasm. If we factor in the likely turned-on state Master will be at the time, 7 minutes would be more accurate.”

“All those Perks and ya don’t actually last that much longer than most guys,” Rave pointed out.

John sent his first fiancée an annoyed glare. That got him in the pride, which he could not let stand. “First off, yes, I do, I just tend to plough you at four times the average man’s speed and hardness, so that balances out. Second off, you don’t want me to last for 28 to 48 minutes for each of you because that would mean I’d be at it for, taking the average of 40 minutes for ease of calculation, 840 minutes for every orgy, 280 if I use my extra bodies the entire time. That’s 4 and a half to 14 hours, Jane.”

“Uhm… you know you don’t… have to cum inside each of us once durin-“

“Yes, he has to.” Beatrice’s interruption was harsh and clear.

“B-but does he…?”

“Yes.” The passive maid’s eyes turned almost threatening. “He – has – to.”

“You heard her.” John shrugged. “My hands are tied.”

“I mean… it’s not like I want to be the one that gets skipped…” Gnome relented in a meek tone.

The boat hit the shores of the private beach and then just sat there, John setting it to not move until they either told it to or were back in the Palace. While the minimal changes from current outfits to swimwear happened (they either already were displaying their bikini/swimsuit or had them right under their clothes), the pregnancy talk returned.

“Seriously, though, I think when we get to breeding, tiger could probably fill one girl up, then stick his dick in the next and the little bits of cum still on his dick instantly get the next gal.”

“…Would you let me check out your swimmers sometime?” Delicia asked.

Stopping, his shirt pulled into his inventory and his pants halfway on the way there, John considered. Instinctively he wanted to say no, but that was the part of him talking that did not like anybody putting their nose up in his business. If there was anybody to trust with the inspection of his virility, it certainly was one of the girls that said virility would eventually be used on. “Sure. Now that I think about it, it’s weirder that we didn’t do it yet.”

“It really is,” Delicia admitted. “You’d think us being all pervy and stuff, I’d have you cum all over a magnifying lens at some point…”

“That… that does not sound particularly scientific,” Gnome dared to point out.

“Do not question my methods, young one!” Delicia thundered. It did not have any effect at all. She was tiny, her voice was squeaky, and she did not have the build to deliver threatening backtalk to a woman a head taller – not to mention strong enough to bend each of her limbs into a pretzel. “Seriously though, Jane might be right on this. If you’re half as virile as your Stats make it sound, you could probably cum once and then just chain stick it in the rest of us, getting all of us bred in the same minute.”

“Welp, now we have an issue.” Rave said and pointed at the very prominent erection that flopped out when his pants did disappear. “You really got that breeding kink, don’t ya, tiger?”

“Literally everyone does,” the Gamer defended himself. “If we didn’t, the species would die out.”

“Nah, to say it in Lee’s way, you’re hella coping, my dude,” Delicia countered. “Big difference between the average ‘I want to have babies’ and your ‘PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! GET PREGNANT! GET PREGNANT! GET PREGNANT!’ attitude.”

John knew that it was a meme, but his cock twitched anyway at the idea of doing that with… literally any one of his haremettes. “You try living my life and not developing the intense need to fill you up!” he declared. “I’m drenched in pheromones 24/7.”

“Ya ain’t the only one affected, let’s be real. I’ve gone from ‘maybe in a few years’ to ‘put me near the top of the breeding list’.” Rave pinched a visibly hard nipple through her swimsuit. “It just gets to us… buuuuut, we’ll take care of that later and take care of this now.”

Rave put a hand on his chest and gradually pushed him back. When they were off the sand and on the grass, she gave him a soft shove. He fell and four haremettes descended on him. “I thought we were waiting until the evening?” the Gamer teased all of them, as loving licks enveloped his manhood from all sides.

“It’s your birthday, we ain’t letting you remember what blue balls feel like today,” Rave purred.

And they, indeed, did not.