Butcher of Gadobhra Chapter 290 (Patreon)

In the upper reaches of the smokehouse, what was left of Bucktooth was slowly curing. Ozzy grabbed a chain and climbed to the top, checking on the meat. It was almost perfect. "Lower this one down, slowly. I grab something to wrap it in and get a wagon." The Pit complied with the order. Ozzy purchased four large, white table clothes from the Kallvek's Emporium, laying two down in the wagon for the large rack of ribs to set on, and spread the other two over the top. He pushed the wagon out of the smokehouse and went to shut the doors tight. To his surprise, four chains had wrapped around the barrel he had used to play tug-of-war with the Pit. "You want to go again?" The chains rattled.

Ozzy wondered if his Pit was like a big dog, needing attention and playtime. It seemed to behave better when he was here. A few minutes of playing a game wouldn't hurt. It would give him some practice making chains and not relying on the magic one around his wrist. He wove smoke into four stout chains and grabbed hold of the barrel. This was a much tougher fight than the last time, even with his STR reaching the maximum for Tier 3 already. Hack Undead, Butchering, and using his Flensing Hatchets had pushed the ranks up fast. Especially the last battle in the smoke. He had killed the charred on the Black Barge for hours on end. He'd used his points from the gopher war to increase his cap and purchased three points with Spirit of The Bear. The stuff he had to fight was getting bigger, and he could use all the STR he could get.

At 45 STR, he felt like he had an edge on the pit when it used four chains. It was a struggle, though; it had gotten better at pulling since getting the skill. He wondered if it might be better to roll in whole wagons of sedge beast carcasses for smoking. If the Pit could lift the loads to the top, he'd end up with smoked meat for the Legion, and the wood of the wagons might take on some of the smoke. He idly wondered if the pit could learn to infuse smoke into wood. The game went back and forth until, with a sudden tug, the Pit pulled the barrel to its side of the line. Ozzy was knocked to the floor and came up laughing. "A point for your side. You won that time. I'll bring you back some fresh meat from Gadobhra." The chains were quiet as he left, slowly moving the curing meat around and rotating the carcasses.

He checked on one of the barrels of Hot-Sloth Not-Bacon. As he opened the barrel, a jet of fire and steam shot out, along with a delicious aroma. He sliced off a small chunk and took a bite. The flavor exploded in his mouth. The peppers had dissolved into the maple and bear fat, leaving a complex taste that went well with the fatty sloth belly.

New Recipe! Hot-Sloth Not-Bacon (Tier 3 magical meat.)
No one else has thought to lure this elusive predator, kill it and turn it into (not) Bacon. Your problem now isn't finding people to eat your new treat; it will be finding more prehistoric giant sloths!

One thick slice (1 oz.) gives the following effects for 1 hour: +300 Health. Damage from heat, fire, smoke, and melee weapons that use STR increased by +100.

Warning: At 1 million SMU (Sedgewick Smoke Units), this food can cause damage to lesser beings. Iron Stomach, Rank 3 in Fire Eating, or some form of fire resistance, is recommended. The Baron of Gadobhra takes no responsibility for spontaneous combustion. You've been warned.       The Butcher of Sedgewick has created a new recipe! Gadobhra and Sedgewick receive five building points each for your contribution to the Culinary Magical Arts.
The Butcher of Sedgewick has earned five core skill points.

Ozzy smiled at the messages. He wished he could see Billy's face. He wrapped two thick slabs in butcher's paper and burlap and set them in the front of the wagon.

Suzette met him as he pulled the wagon through town. "I see your not-bacon experiment worked. You're such a good little worker, contributing to both towns even on a day off."

"I'm an overachiever; what can I say? Well, other than 'Let's go to lunch.' I can smell Myrna's cooking from here." He parked the wagon in an empty part of the square, and they went to the grill window where Myrna was working furiously, flipping meat and friend vegetables onto plates. She saw them coming and yelled. "You! Not-Fat-Fingers. What are you cooking? Myrna smells it from here!"

Ozzy waved to her. "I have a new recipe for you to try. But take a sliver for now. It's potent."

The kobold rolled her eyes and snorted. Suzette pointed to the new awning. Myrna sighed. "Fine, fine...The Kallvek says he bought the first two fancy tents, but not again. Poor Myrna will take just a small bite." Ozzy sliced off a thin piece and gave it to her, rewrapping the rest. Myrna closed her eyes and made strange noises as she chewed. Opening them, she looked at the Butcher.

The Kobold carefully examined his hands. "No fat fingers. Can teach. Be here for lunch tomorrow. You brought Myrna something hot. Bring me the recipe, and Myra will teach you one of her family's special recipes." She laughed a little. "Bring lots of cold things to drink." Ozzy took that as a challenge. He found he liked her hot food a lot more after returning from the smoke.

"Tomorrow, you will work the grill for lunch, and Myrna will teach how to weaponize white onions for cooking and alchemy." Ozzy left her with the rest of the bacon, which she set aside with a show of willpower. Then the kobold loaded another platter with sweet, deep-fried confections. "Here is a treat. Not-so-hot-sweet. Enjoy. Shoo-shoo."

Laughing, the two made their way to a table and ate their tortillas, grilled meats, and vegetables. Ozzy found the food tasty. Suzette paused to drink large glasses of water every bite or two and twice cast her small healing spell. They finished the food, but Suzette took her time with her dessert, a deep-fried concoction of dough, apples, and spices. "Go do your banking. I want to savor this delicious treat while reading through my options for tier 3. I woke up this morning with messages telling me it was time to move on."

"Then I'll go to the bank, talk to our friendly local banker, and leave you to your desert and browsing."

She pushed the plate of dessert towards him. "You should take another of these. I'll barely finish this one, let alone three more."

Ozzy shook his head. "Nope. Sticky fingers aren't good for counting out golden shell coins. When I return from unloading my swag from the smoke, I'll have another." He left the table, heading to the Royal Gnomish Bank of Sedgewick.

Suzette started reading about her choice of classes.

You have met all the requirements to move to Tier 3. Let's turn this thing to 11!

Below are the best of the delightful classes that your actions qualify you for. There were a few others, but all of them were boring.

Strange Alchemist
Focus on your ability to create strange potions and stranger beverages. Experiment, sample your own wares, and increase your resistance to poison, fire, acid, and other deadly effects. Experiment with potions using ingredients from the Fae Realms.
+4 DEX, +4 CON
More powerful alchemical formulae are available through CSP.
Increased chance of discovering unique formulae.

Lonely Barmaid
Continue your role of the Loneliest Barmaid in Sedgewick. Confuse your enemies and use the role to hide your other activities and abilities.  
+4 CHA, +2 WIS, +2 DEX, +2 AGI
Gain: +2 Tertiary Skills
Gain: +1 Secondary Skill
Gain: +1 Primary Skill

Lonely Barmaid Shadow Assassin
You have successfully infiltrated the Light Fae and will soon be trusted by them. (As much as the Fae trust anyone.)
Use that trust to expand your power base and take over your realm as opportunities arise. And they will.
+1 CHA, +3 AGI, +3 DEX
Gain: Expanded skill list dealing in stealth, disguise, and combat.
Gain: Enchantment becomes more subtle and more powerful, bending minds to your will.
Gain: Expanded spells from the Road of Shadows

Charming Assassin Contract Worker - Tavern Keeper
Continue your current class and focus.
+3 DEX, +3 CHR, +3 AG,
Gain: Expanded spells from the Road of Shadows

Hermetic Teacher
Continue to teach your colleagues how to improve themselves and learn about the coolest god around while increasing your Hermetic Skills.
+4 INT, +4 WIS, +4 CHA
Gain: Increased chance to gain skills in strange ways.
Gain: Increased access to strange knowledge and people.

Fae Enchantress
Focus on spells, enchantment, and potions, gaining knowledge in each.
+4 INT, +4 RAD, +2 CHA,
Choose any four cantrips and four spells from the local Mage Guild.

She read through the descriptions three times and returned to the last one. Choosing a Fae Heritage certainly influenced this Class. That was a lot of mana and increased damage. Fae Enchantress was the best choice for a new Class if she wanted to focus on magic. With one small problem: Did the local Mage Guild have any good spells for her to learn? The only time she had gone into the Mage Guild, they hadn't been welcoming and had only had cantrips. Jasper was an asshole and didn't like her because of her 'hedge magic.'

Belerianne had been nicer once she arrived, but the Mage Guild was just now starting to get new spells. And they wouldn't have something rare like Road of Shadows. Aleister had told her that until a Mage Guild was at Level 3, it was rare to have any spells that didn't align with the basic aspects, which explained why there were so many low-level earth mages and fire mages, and few wizards specializing in Nature or Shadow. Continuing with Charming Assassin might be the only way to get more spells from the Road of Shadows safely.

Strange Alchemy looked fun. Focusing on potions and spending time with Aliester's family could be very enjoyable. But she felt she would become another version of a battle alchemist. She liked having a mix of skills. Lonely Barmaid was out. As she had told Ozzy, it was a class if you wanted to hide and not push your limits. She did like the 'confuse your enemies' part and the extra skills. But she could continue her current class and see what she could pick up with Prodigy or luck.

Shadow Assassin scared her with the persistent way it kept appearing. She hadn't taken that Heritage, but here it was again. Was it because of taking Road of Shadows? It was almost like something had started pushing her in that direction from the start. She didn't like that thought. But she knew it was more likely her own personality. She enjoyed keeping secrets and loved when she had to sneak into a room or run over the rooftops. Magic was fun, but so was playing a thief or spy. Ben liked being a pirate, and Rolly liked taming monsters. She enjoyed playing 'shadowy' characters, and something in this world knew that and kept tempting her. It could keep waiting. She was learning to like the sunshine as well.

Hermetic Teacher Was so tempting because she liked Hermes. It was so odd, he was supposedly a god in this world, but he always acted so humanly. She felt at peace in his realm and sheltered, but this class wasn't what she wanted. It might give her some cool new skills but also leave her with twenty bizarre utility skills. Hedge Mage had looked good initially, but only because it was the only way to get spells.

She was deep in thought when someone sat down across from her. "Mind if I join you? You look like you have two problems: Too much to think about and too many deserts to eat. I can simplify one, perhaps both of those problems." Suzette dismissed the descriptions of classes and saw that a tall, striking woman had sat down across from her. She used two small daggers to lift one of the dessert rolls from the plate and began to slice small pieces off, eating delicately with the two daggers. "Oh, this is very good. The cook has mixed the sweet and tangy apples with surprisingly pungent peppers, using cinnamon and nutmeg to round it out. I'll have to try her other recipes while I'm here. It's always a joy to explore new things."

Her voice was rich, with some of the same accents Alwyn had when he spoke. Her sharp ears and large, slanted blue eyes labeled her as one of the Fae or a full-blooded Elf. Long, clever fingers, grace, and height added to that guess. Everything else about her was different. Her bright, pink hair was cut very short everywhere except in the back, where a long braid went past her waist. Diagonally across one side of her face was an elaborate sword tattoo pointing at her chin. On the other was an image of a shimmering golden dragon. Rings of all types adorned her fingers, and a golden torque was on her neck, peeking out from the high-collared shirt of white silk. Tight black pants were tucked into low boots. A wide leather belt supported the weight of a heavy sledgehammer that might have looked better if a Norse God held it. She casually dropped a white fur cloak on the ground as she sat down next to a small traveler pack.

Suzette had seen no one like her in this world. Everything she wore or carried was interesting and made her want to ask questions. All she could manage was a timid nod.

The woman ate in silence as Suzette continued to stare at her. The knives were wiped clean when the last crumb was gone and disappeared into sheathes on each wrist. "Delightful; now, let's talk about your other problem."

Suzette wasn't sure what she meant. "My first problem?"

"Why yes, you were dithering over which choice to make, eliminating the dangerous or the boring, and trying to find out which choices someone else made fit you the best. You can do better than that, but that will be up to you."

That made Suzette sit back and become wary. "You know what I was looking at? How?"

"Goodness, how rude of me to read over your shoulder the notifications you carelessly left sitting out on display. I'll apologize for giving you that tidbit of information. Maybe I was reading your mind? Or maybe my eyes are simply that sharp? In any case, let us continue the conversation as if I did know the choice of classes that the boring and smarmy system decided to let you have. Are there any you really like? If you want to take it, I'll offer my advice and only charge you for one more dessert." She reached forward and took another, eating this one with her hands instead of her knives.

Ignoring a dozen questions, Suzette answered truthfully. "Not completely, no. Alchemy, Spellcasting, and Hermetics are just part of what I am. I don't want to be just a Tavern keeper, and I have not one but two assassin classes. The first brings almost nothing new, and the second commits me to betray a heritage I only recently accepted. But it has everything I want in a class." She wondered later about how she opened up so completely to the woman.

"Of course it does. The shadows make tempting offers, and then you find yourself betraying old friends and running through swamps filled with hydras to escape. Your first step on that path may have been their offer. Maybe they only noticed you because of the road you followed and the chance of your growing heritage. But now they would be delighted to take you and turn you against the light side. That's a choice you can make. I don't recommend it."

"You know that you can reject these, don't you? Just do something else, and wait for a better offer. Go tame lions or marry an emperor. Different things open different doors."

That made Suzette laugh. "The latter would be fun. Not something I've done yet. But why trade down? I already have a handsome butcher."

"I've seen him! Let me know if you do decide on being an Empress. That man is just dangerous enough to interest me. The story of his journeys in the Smoke is just making the rounds. I was so jealous when I heard of him riding a whale to flee a volcano." The other woman glanced at the bank, where Ozzy was stepping out.

"Right, I'll be sure to let you know, but please consider him taken for now. But back to my problem, as you called it. I'm not going to fall behind him waiting for something. Any of these is better than that."

The woman stood up and took one of Suzette's hands. "It's been wonderful to meet you. Your young man is on his way over, and I shouldn't tempt him away from you, so I'll remove myself and not be tempted. I love what you are doing with this town: Ancient evils, killer squirrels, white witches, hags, and so much more. Delightful. I'll be back. Maybe I'll say hi, maybe not. A lot depends on what I feel like doing. That's important, by the way, doing what you want and feeling good about it."

She stood, threw her cloak over a shoulder, and walked off, her long, pink braid swaying behind her. As she was leaving, Ozzy walked up and noticed the empty dessert plate. "Meet some hungry stranger?"

Suzette watched her go, wondering who she was. "I'm not sure at all." As the woman disappeared around a corner, another notification appeared.

You have earned another option for upgrading your class...(Don't ask me how these things happen, I just work here.)

Mourninglade's Apprentice
Lady Mourninglade was a member of the Court of Elficleos, the father of the current king of the Fae. She was rumored to be many things, none of which were ever confirmed.
Some feared her as an assassin; others claimed she was nothing more than his majesty's paramour. The truth was far stranger: She did whatever she wanted and refused to be defined. A paradox by fae standards, who strive to excel and be known for their prowess. She has noticed you and seen that you don't play by the rules set down by others. And she approves.
Choose a class from any of your tiers: Gain the Name and Focus of this class. This will be how others perceive your class in Tier 3.
Choose a second class: Take a benefit from that class.
Choose a third class: Take a benefit from that class.
Choose a fourth class. Take a benefit from that class.
+1 to all Stats.