Butcher of Gadobhra Chapter 218 (Patreon)

How the hell do you get into trouble so fast, Woodrat? You were barely half a minute ahead of me!"

The cold green eyes turned towards Ozzy. He saw small flashes of lightning in the whirling white smoke. The creature didn't immediately attack, and he wondered if that meant there was a chance to retreat, or if it was just taking its time killing them. Ozzy had spent enough time around Joe to get a feeling for how truly powerful he was. If this creature was the same, they were in trouble.

Woodrat stood, straightened his hat and winked at Ozzy. "Purely accidental. I went to see what I could see and I found a lovely bottle of Deadeye Red sitting on a table with a clean flagon. I opened it up to toast my new ship, and she came out. Angry from the start. And worst of all, there was no whiskey in the bottle! Just this little swirly missy."

"Get off my ship, or die!"

Woodrat shook his head. "No, I don't think so. If this was your ship, you wouldn't have been in that bottle." As soon as he said that, he went flying again, almost off of the ship, catching himself on the rail with one hand. Ozzy started to interpose himself between the captain and the whirlwind, but Woodrat waved him back. "It's fine, Mr. Ozzy. She's just flirting a bit. If she wanted to, she could have knocked me 50 yards into the Sargasso."

This time the winds picked up Woodrat, and toss him off the ship, significantly further than 50 yards. He landed on the burnt vegetation, bounced once and then slid out of sight behind another ship.

"And is your tongue so clever? Or will you leave before I make you leave?" The wind began to howl.

"How about I agree to leave, if that's what you want, but you answer a few questions first? I'm lost and need to get home, and maybe you can help point in the right direction."

"Three questions, three answers, and I will not answer a question that goes against my responsibilities. Then you take your little captain and begone."

"Fair enough. I think I met one of your kind before. Do you know Smokey Joe? Might also go by 'The Burninator', 'Smoking Death', or 'Ham Warden'.

For three heartbeats, nothing happened, and then the creature asked, "Where did you hear those names? What do you know of him?"

Ozzy leaned back against the mast and folded his arms. "That's a long story to tell. And I was the one who got three questions. Seems I might have some information you want as well."

The whirlwind advanced until it was almost on top of him, the whirling smoke just touching him. "You smell of the conjunction. Burned meat and an ocean of blood. You're a butcher! A chain binder! A slaver! Where is the cyclone called Joe!? Tell me or I'll tear you to parts and scatter you in the smoke!"

"I'm a butcher, yes. But I'm not a slaver and won't ever be one. Might have chained an angel once, but I sort of regret that, but I made good by him and we're on friendly terms now. Joe is down in the conjunction. He's been teaching me tricks with smoke and sent me up here to learn from the Old Smoke. I got sort of sidetracked. Now that's quite a bit of info for not getting one of my damned questions answered. So back the hell off, or take your best shot and find out which of us is tougher."

The whirling smoke condensed into a humanoid form. Ozzy got a quick view that proved Woodrat correct in calling the whirlwind a lass. She was dressed like a sailor, with white skin and light grey hair. That was all the impression Ozzy got before a very sharp cutlass touched his throat. The sword was white hot, with a bit of radiance running along the blade. There was no humor or mercy in those green eyes as she asked. "Did you bind him?"

Ozzy didn't move and answered truthfully. "Lady, I don't know what binding is. My pit summoned a smoke elemental to help me make bacon, and Joe showed up. He's as much in charge of the pit as I am, and like I said, he's been teaching me things."

She sheathed the sword and backed away, to Ozzy's relief. Slow clapping came from the bow of the ship. Woodrat was back, a bit battered but still smiling. "Bravo, Mr. Ozzy, bravo! You've tamed the lass in record time. Now as to who this ship belongs to..."
That was as far as he got before the cyclonic wind picked him up and tossed him to the Sargasso again.

"He is persistent and annoying!" Her voice was lower, but still sounded like it was carried to him on the wind.

"Eh? He's a captain who found both a pretty ship, and a pretty woman to flirt with. If he was serious about fighting, he'd have drawn his sword and you two could fight until one of you was dead. I'll have a talk with him, and then I think its time we lay our cards on the table."

"As you wish. But we play with my deck, and I'll cut."

Ten minutes later, Ozzy had got Woodrat to agree to not start a fight. They were in the captain's cabin, seated around a round table that was bolted to the deck. A circular bench, also attached to the floor was in lieu of chairs. The woman had produced a deck of cards from a drawer, and to Woodrat's delight, a full bottle of aged Deadeye. Neither of the other two were drinking, so he just took swigs from the bottle, careful to recork it every time, a habit of many sailors. Drink was too precious to waste to an accident.

Cards were dealt, but Woodrat didn't pick his up. "I don't play cards with people I haven't been introduced to. I'm Captain Woodrat, of the good ship Splinter, which true to her name is in a few pieces at the moment. This is my talented first Mate, Mr. Ozzy, raised in the conjunction and now getting his true education here in the Smoke."

"What's in a name? Something to be bound with when it's known. Call me Mariah, it's served before.

The stakes were for chips they each had to make. Mariah demonstrated for Ozzy, breathing out a bit of smoke and forming it into a flat disk. There was a minute’s pause as the men struggled to bring out their cash, Mariah making a pile of white chips with little to no effort. Ozzy's chips were a neutral gray, and Woodrat's a much darker color, near black, with a red sword in the center. The game was at least familiar to Ozzy: five card draw. The deck's illustrations were anything but familiar. The four suits were Fyre, Skye, Sea, and Rock.

Woodrat took the first hand, with a pair of kings. Ozzy saw that the illustrations looked like Cyclones, One white and the second made of flames. His own hand was a scattering of cards, and he only managed a pair of deuces. Woodrat laughed and gathered in the cards. He picked up a white chip and looked at it. Mariah glared at him. "Put it down. You need to win the game first." Woodrat just laughed and took two cards. He thought that he had won that hand with two pair, Aces over threes, but Mariah held five rocks, and took the hand wither her flush.

The game wore on through many rounds, and Woodrat finished his bottle. Ozzy notice that the Jack of Fyre looked very similar to the god named Jack. Ozzy was cleaned out after a while, having lost his 137th chip, which Mariah told him was a natural limit to a short game. The chips swayed back and forth across the table, with the size of the wagers increasing. Then came a hand when neither player took cards, and each simply pushed in all their chips. Ozzy studied both people. Woodrat's face revealed nothing, but there was a spark that danced in one eye. Mariah could have carved from Ivory.

Mariah laid down her cards, not being able to withhold a smile. She had pulled a natural straight flush of rocks with the ace high. It looked like a dust-devil with red glowing eyes. She started to pull in the chips when Woodrat laid down his own hand. "Not so fast, darling. You never know how a captain's luck is running until you see his hand.  

One at a time he laid down his cards.

Ace of Fyre, a red cyclone with blackened bodies whirling inside.
Ace of Sky, a white cyclone in a light blue background. Lightning arcing all around it.
Ace of Sea, a green-blue typhoon with sharks swimming within.

Ozzy whistled, and Mariah shook her head in wonder. "It's pretty, but you can't win with that. Another pair won't help you, and I have the last ace for your set."

"Ah, but these two gentlemen came out to play." Woodrat laid down two jokers. One had the image of a huge man in the garb of a captain with long hair and bushy beard aflame. The other was a giant of a man, with bulging muscles and arms wrapped in chains. "Five Aces. Read them and weep." The table was silent as Woodrat pulled all the chips to him.

Woodrat turned to Ozzy. "You were out first minnow. Tell us your goals and dreams, and where your loyalty lies."

Ozzy felt a light compulsion, and knew he could ignore it, but that would break the spell the cards had cast, and who would trust him then? "I came here, accidentally or on purpose to learn how to use smoke. I've accomplished a lot and want to go home. My best hope is finding Old Smoke. He's chained by Captain Blackgut to one of the Black Galleys. He's sailing the smoke, somewhere."

Mariah raised an eyebrow and took a long, slow breath, then started talking. "I was bound a long time ago, a slave on this ship for as long as the captain lived. As he was dying, he cheated and bound me to that bottle like some damned Djinn. I want free. I'll sail with a captain on this ship for seven years if you promise right here and now to free me after that."

Woodrat looked at the empty bottle where she had been confined. It was heavy glass, enchanted to be unbreakable by normal means, and he knew the little white cyclone couldn't harm it herself. "I'm a minnow who wants to be a shark. I sailed on a dozen ships and was shipwrecked or tossed overboard two-dozen times. If my luck hadn't changed when I found this waif from the junction, I'd still be a regular sailor. Now I'm a captain, one of the seven. I've ridden a whale and fought countless foes. I don't know how long I can stay on the crest of this wave, but I'll ride it to the end."

He turned to Ozzy. "Stay with me as my mate, and I'll do everything I can to get you home when the chance arises. And as for you..." he turned to Mariah. "Neither I nor my mate likes keeping slaves. Stay your seven years, or fly off to Skye. That's up to you."

He tossed the bottle to Ozzy, who held it in one hand, and punched it hard with the other. The bottle shattered in an explosion of glass shards and magic. Woodrat and Ozzy picked themselves up off the floor. Mariah grabbed Woodrat in a quick hug, kissed Ozzy on the cheek, and faded away.

Ozzy picked a few bits of glass out of his hands and cheek. "That was a good thing to do."

Woodrat shrugged. "Well, it was a gamble, but not much of one. Not much chance she'd stay, really, and now there's no argument about who's ship it is."