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Detractor's Commentary: Star Crystal (Patreon)

Published:
2021-03-19 20:30:59
Imported:
2021-07

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Detractors Commentary: Star Crystal

Comments

Stephen Crane

'It's 10 light years to Arcturus, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing space suits.' 'Hit it' That would have been a well made movie, this was not a well made movie.

Anonymous

The alien BlobbET should absorb the two humans and transform them into its own species!

Anonymous

I thought the tentacle attacks were from a different film. As the victims are wearing different uniforms and boots to what they normally do. Could just be bad continuity. They are doing a LSH remake with Scarlet Johansen and until this week Armie Hamer. Although iirc the whole thing is cgi like Bee Movie.

Kyle Olson

I was trying to get a feel for what the deal is with this production (long discussion of move financing coming). Sure, it sucks and the ending not only doesn't work but the need to get here might be responsible for the odd pacing. They can't justify too many self-defense kills by Xeno-ET and so they have to waste a lot of movie and then do very little when we get to the important story. But how does this film fit in? The company behind this was called "Balcor Film Investors" and they had a deal financing films with New World Pictures for a short time in the post Corman years, most of which look far more expensive but none were big hits. Soul Man and Transylvania 6-5000, and Wanted: Dead or Alive look like the most notable, although I suspect Soul Man, the only film which did well, was more a Steve Tisch Company Picture. There are two lawsuits associated with Balcor I found, Eckstein vs Balcor and Majeski vs Balcor for securities fraud which stretched on well after the company stopped making movies in 1987 into 1995. Balcor was collecting lots of small investments in $1,000 chunks, finally financing $48 million. I don't know how small all the investors were, but the Eckstiens in the suit only invested $5k. Since this is Hollywood the movies lost money. While these small investor in movies deals are usually kind of shady, based on US law at the time they were considered legal because there were lots of warnings and they weren't regarded to have lied about anything or not taken action they were required to. But that doesn't mean that they intended to make any money on the deal. I wouldn't be surprised if like the Franchise Pictures situation they were trying to make money by getting investors to pay them to make films, which can still be sort of legal (although I can't believe no one from Franchise went to jail.) It's like in "The Producers" where they sell more shares of a production that they need and take the cash. Except in this case you make money if you win or lose. You pay yourself a big producer fee from your investors (above and/or below the board) and if the film loses money, that came from what the investors paid to make it and it doesn't hurt you if you can get another Battlefield Earth into production, but if you happen to make a Whole Nine Yards you get a big chunk of the profits. But part of this involves making films whose price tag you can justify. Bigger looking names and larger above the line costs that make it easier for your money syphoned to disappear. That's where Star Crystal doesn't fit. Most of the other films on the list were bigger real movies (they averaged spending close to $9m a movie) instead of this terrible level of B-movie. It's hard to hide ripping off investors with a movie like this (and it doesn't appear they used it that way) so what's it doing here?

Anonymous
>>56028372

There is also crime drama ‘real bullets’ same director and for most of the cast their only other credit. But that is a pretty expensive looking film with people like Martin Landau. Maybe the deal was that instead of paying Lindsay the let him do his own film on the cheap. Although ‘Star Crystal’ came out first. Although they might not have been shot in that order. Maybe they owned the song, it’s not bad as 80s film songs go, and grafted a film to it to keep Christopherson under contract. Might explain why soon after she changed her stage name to Indiera. Perhaps similar to Prince to get out of the contract. If so she should have gone with The Artist Formally Known as Daphne.

Anonymous

What gets me about the song is not only the jarring treacly romantic sound, but how NONE of the phrases being sung relate to each other, at all. It's the equivalent of singing a grocery list.

Anonymous
>>56053126

Toni Basil actually did that ‘Shopping from A-Z’ and it’s a more coherent song.

Anonymous

I was looking at that map with the little light wandering around it. These are really strangely angled corridors on a space ship. And what is surrounding these corridors? I assume they are rooms... a really wild guess there.

Anonymous
>>56116130

I think it’s actually the old Ceasers Palace F1 track.