The Queens of Remnant - Ch. 31-32 - Commentary (Patreon)

Alright, we’re back in action!  Not that we were ever really out of action, but it feels a little bit that way since I haven’t written much in the last couple of weeks.  Life, as it has a way of doing, got in the way.  Between traveling for work, family visiting, and reaching a good pause point for Click, Click, Boom, I decided it was the perfect time to take a little break.  Recharge the batteries and let my hands recover.

During that time, I reread Flashing Lights - the White Rose story that goes along with Click, Click, Boom.  And ohhh boy.  You’ll either love or hate this version of Weiss.  I, personally, love her with every fiber of my being.  She’s sassier than I’ve ever written her, and she just has a…peculiar way about her.  I hope more people adore her than dislike her though.  She grows on you!  (She grows on Ruby too, of course.)

Rereading stories is always more work than just reading though.  I ended up vaguely proofreading while I went along.  It’s remarkable how much can be truncated or made more concise from the first draft.  I think (or hope) that it’s every author’s instinct to write way too much on the first go-around.  I have the tendency to over-explain, over describe, and don’t even get me started on mental dialogue.  I love getting into their heads and listening to their thoughts so much…

Show, don’t tell.  I need to remind myself of that more often.  I wrote This Time with that mantra firmly in mind, but then the first draft ended up lacking those feel-good thoughts that I love so much.  I ended up adding a bunch when I went through it a second or third time.  There must be a balance…but is it better to write too much and cut things out or write too little and add later?  I’m going to say writing too much is better, or easier, since you should - theoretically - have all the pieces in place.  Then you only have to go through the gut-wrenching process of deciding what to cut out.

I used to never remove much from a story.  Like, the thought of cutting out a whole paragraph, or several paragraphs, was unconscionable.  I would keep it and work around it, instead.  Over time, I’ve learned not to sacrifice the story just because I already wrote something down.  I can always write more!  And these varying threads that get lost as a story is woven are just little things I can mention in these commentaries.  If I can remember them.  Most likely, they’re lost to the sands of time.

Anyway, now that I’ve reread Flashing Lights, I’m excited to get back into Click, Click, Boom.  Only like….15 or 16 chapters to go.  The back half of the story is only partially written too, so I still have a long road ahead.  I can’t leave the story half-finished though!  That would be more of a crime than the amount of hours I’m about to dump into a cops and robbers AU.

Before I get back to that, let’s talk about our recent package of Bumbleby chapters!  Things are getting a little grim, huh?  At least, Yang’s not doing so hot (pun intended).

Obviously, we’re marching towards the end of the story, so something has to happen with that pesky disease.  Provoking it probably wasn’t the best thing to do, but…the story!

The dreader hunt let me accomplish so many things…first, we get to see more of Cecelia in ‘her’ element.  We also get to see some of the terrifying creatures lurking beyond the safety of Vale (I thought a giant sand dragon that could phase in and out of solid form was pretty terrifying!).  We get to see Yang use her spark for once - more importantly, Blake gets to see Yang use her spark for once.  And, maybe most importantly, we knock over the dominos leading to a rapid deterioration in Yang’s health for well-documented reasons.

I’m sure everyone could’ve lived without the last part.  I wanted to give Yang a big sendoff though!  I wanted her to get to do something fiery and impressive for once rather than hobble around all the time.

Obviously, it was a bad idea.  She knew it, Blake knew it, and we knew it.

Isn’t it interesting how there’s a little bit of politics slipping into Yang and Blake’s chapters now too?  It’s like a chess match between Yang and Cecelia right now, and Yang really needs to win.

Oh, another objective accomplished in this chapter - we get to see Cecelia vs. Blake in a battle-like scenario.  Blake might have plenty of fighting experience, but she’s not really on the same level as Cecelia.  Cecelia fights for the fun of it, Blake fights to survive.  A very important distinction between them!

I think I mentioned previously, but the firebeasts were a super late addition to the story.  Thankfully, they were an easy add.  I didn’t want to put too much emphasis on them anyway because then that could break the immersion.  Cute little dragons though…they eat charred wood and bask in the super hot sun like overgrown lizards.

The dreader though…I wanted to come up with something cool and unique that has to be ‘killed’ in a way that forces Yang to use her spark.  And since Cecelia didn’t bring any other fire sparks, Yang has to participate.  Imagine if she didn’t…she just leaves everyone running for their lives.  Cecelia’s like, “What the hell are you doing??” while all her guys are getting nommed up by a sand monster.

Yang can’t do that though.  Not because she particularly cares about Cecelia’s mercenaries, but because Blake’s out there too.

And then Cecelia’s disappointed that Yang’s too tired to go after another one…

I guess this gives you a bit of an idea what their relationship used to be like and the things that Yang used to do.  They probably spent a whole day or weekend hopping from one dreader to the next.  Or from dreaders to other, even scarier monsters lurking out there.  Since Cecelia isn’t a fire spark, I wonder if she and Yang were actually pretty good at working together.  Similar to what we see here where she uses her speed to agitate it and get it to chase her, then Yang steps in and deals the damage.

Is it any wonder that Cecelia sees herself as a perfect match for Yang?  Wind and fire…what a combo.

Buttttt…earth and fire are pretty great too.  Especially since Blake can basically create a pseudo-skeleton to help Yang walk.  Like a puppet.  It must feel so weird, but it works!

Now that we’ve seen plenty of Cecelia, I think we can easily compare/contrast the two and how good of a fit they would be for Yang.  Cecelia is perfect for V1 Yang, kind of.  Thrill seeker.  Wants to go on adventures.  Forget the responsibilities and focus on having fun!

Blake, on the other hand, is obviously perfect for all versions of Yang.  I wanted her to be somewhat insecure in this chapter about not being able to fight like Cecelia, only to realize that that’s not what Yang wants.  Yang has grown up and matured.  She’s a queen!  She has a whole kingdom depending on her.  She can’t just disappear for a week to fight some random creatures.

She needs someone passionate.  Someone determined to help others.  Someone who can be depended on to do the right thing.  Someone just like Blake!

Blake (and everyone) finally learns the details of the deal Yang made with Cecelia to get Cecelia’s help fighting the war.  I think Ruby already suggested that money didn’t seem to be what Cecelia was after, and that’s now confirmed!  She’s just after Yang, and therefore is not happy about Blake’s presence.

I love how Yang puts Cecelia in her place in Chapter 32 by guessing that Cecelia has been partaking in plenty of latenight festivities while in Vale.  See, Blake?  Cecelia is the womanizer, not Yang!

Their relationship would be so toxic…which is why it’s great that Blake came along!  Although not so great for Blake, who now has to deal with a somewhat-psychotic mercenary and Yang’s impending death sentence.

Blake’s handling it like a champ though!  Well…she’s handling it.  I wanted to use Yang’s perspective in the following chapter to show how much Blake is taking charge and getting involved once Yang’s health takes a turn for the worse.  Yang isn’t in the condition to run a kingdom anymore and Ruby’s still in Atlas, so who steps up?  Our girl, Blake!

From running a rebel group in the Badlands to, essentially, running Vale.  She’s still orchestrating the Badlands’ restoration from afar too (Sun has really stepped up!) and taking care of Yang.  She has a full plate at the moment.

I thought it was important to show that Oobleck and the other members of the palace are willing to work with Blake though.  They also take instructions from her.  From the early chapters where she felt like she didn’t fit in to being a working member of Vale’s government…she’s really changed, hasn’t she?

She’s also stopped believing that Yang’s a floozy - that would be a bit rude to think about your girlfriend!

Besides us getting to see Blake taking on a larger role since Yang is, understandably, forced to step back, this chapter is a bit of a sad drag.  Remember how I talked about the characters going through different progressions throughout the story - either starting at a horrible place and trending up or starting ok and trending down?  Well, we’re definitely approaching the very bottom for Yang.  She’s had some small ups in regards to falling in love with Blake and all that, but otherwise…

I think her wanting Ruby to come home is the saddest thing, honestly.  Like, until now, things have been ok.  She hasn’t really been pining for Ruby’s return because she’s had other things going on and her health has been…well, stable.  Now, her health has taken a turn for the very bad and she just really wants to see her sister again.

Speaking of sisters…Winter is still hunkered down in Vale.  The break is probably really good for her, although I imagine she’s going a little stir crazy by now.  At least Ruby’s room is probably bigger than most apartments, and there are plenty of books to read, but how much can someone read and reflect before they want to go outside for a bit?  Maybe that’s just me talking…I go stir crazy pretty quick if I don’t get outside for a walk or run or something.

They should probably send a therapist for Winter to talk to while she has this break.  She could definitely use one to help process everything she’s been through.  Maybe she’s gotten to shed a few tears while on her own.  Maybe she’s punched a few pillows or thrown some icicles or expressed some anger or frustration - without destroying anything in Ruby’s room, of course!

I always love Winter and Yang scenes because they can connect as protective older sisters.  They might be really different in every other way, but they know what it’s like to have a sibling who they would do anything for.  In that respect, I felt it was nice for Yang to share her greatest secret with Winter.  Not that she can really hide it anymore - Winter can probably feel the waves of heat coming off of her.  Plus, Winter can provide some temporary help!  She is ice, after all.  She can cool Yang off like stepping into a freezer would.

Again, this reminds me that their world must not have our advancements in refrigeration.  Otherwise, the palace would have a huge, walk-in freezer, and Yang would be spending all of her time there.  People would probably wonder why she is holding all of her meetings in the freezer, but maybe they’ll figure that it’s some new kind of negotiation tactic - make your guests very cold so that they acquiesce and leave.  In the absence of walk-in freezers, Winter saves the day.

Yang feeling like an icicle freaked Blake out, but it was worth it!

Originally, I was going to have Yang feel better, so she and Blake immediately run off to her bedroom to…celebrate.  As great as that would be, Yang still feels a crushing sense of responsibility to accomplish more of her to-do list.  Me having her run off to have fun would kind of undo that civic duty I’ve ingrained into her character.  So I compromised.  They’re going to the office to work, but they’ll also take some breaks to have some ‘fun’ too.  Besides, having them go to the office led them back to the main section of the palace, where we get one last glimpse of Cecelia making her exit from the chapter.

Things are happening in Vale.  Of course, now we’re moving back to Atlas so won’t get to see more for a few more weeks.  I’m sure everyone’s excited to return to Atlas though!  Weiss and Ruby are…I can’t quite remember.  I think they just slept together.  So…things are definitely happening in Atlas too.

Sixteen chapters to go.  This story feels never-ending.

Until next time,

Miko