The Vale Voice - Commentary - Ch. 3-4 (Patreon)

Has it been two weeks already?  Where has the time gone?  It feels like just yesterday that I was all nervous about posting the first chapter, now we’re already through four of them!  I’m entering the ‘excited for you to see what’s next’ phase, which usually lasts until the very end of the story.

Oh, I don’t think I mentioned yet, but there are 21 chapters of The Vale Voice.  That means we’re already one-fifth of the way done!  Wow, that seems really fast, and also makes me realize that I need to finish the next chapter of Red Carpet Romance to post after this is over.  

So much to write, so little time…

Writing update before getting into the commentary - I finished the White Rose centric prequel to Dream Theory, which ended up at...23 chapters, I think?  And around 110,000 words.  Unfortunately, I still have The Vale Voice, The Lie, and Star-Crossed to post!  I’ve been seriously considering posting out of order to break up that line of bees.  At the same time...I really like those other stories too, and like to post in the order I wrote them in.

We’ll see what ends up happening...at the moment, I feel a little stuck.  I have all this stuff I want to show you guys, but it all takes so much time…

Anyway, I haven’t picked up another big story yet because my brain needs a bit of a break.  I have a few smaller stories that I want to finish before moving on to another long one.  These smaller stories include the one I’ve mentioned in the last two commentaries where Weiss makes a fool of herself trying to talk to Ruby, and another one where Weiss is very smitten with very attractive Ruby.  Then there’s a story for White Rose Week that I’d like to finish.  After that...the world is my oyster!

But before any of that can happen, I need to start this commentary.

Chapter 3 finally brings Yang into the story as Weiss’ ‘trusted’ advisor.  I realized that some people might have thought that Weiss would send Ruby, which was why I was doubly careful not to spill the beans too early.  Another part of me was thinking…‘but it’s a bumbleby story,’ but you never know!  It would also make sense for Weiss to send Ruby, but then it would be really difficult to connect Yang in an easy way.

Can you imagine Blake’s reaction if Ruby and Yang showed up to help out?  Two humans instead of one?  She’s already thinking that hopefully they can get rid of Yang before even meeting her!  Two of them would probably double her efforts to remove them from her life and the office as fast as possible.

I hope you can sympathize with her though, at least a little bit.  She makes this comment in the third chapter, and I think it kind of explains why she’s so opposed to rattling her environment.

To her, this was just...work.  Her second home.  The place where she felt accepted and even respected for who and what she was.

The office is her sanctuary, and she’s not thrilled about sharing her sanctuary with a stranger.  Especially a human stranger.

With my incredible drawing skills, I’ve sketched the layout of the office for you.  Using this magnificent work of art, I hope you have a better understanding of who sits where.

As you can see, I'm a horrible artist.

Also, Yang’s sitting at the back of the office while Sun’s conveniently close to Blake.  I’ll have to admit that I really enjoyed Sun’s role in this story, and I might use him in a similar fashion in future ideas I’ve had.  While we’ll be counting the number of times he asks Blake out in this story (he’s already up to three, I think?), he’s also a good guy!  At least, that’s the implication Blake gives when she gives this little summation of him: 

He wanted the world to be a better place too, and he was trying to help them get there.  But he believed in having a good time in the process - something Blake had never been able to emulate.

Blake, sweetie, you and ‘a good time’ wouldn’t even say hi to each other when passing in the hall.  At least, not in this story!

You know who also likes having a good time?  Our other resident blonde - Yang!  She finally drops into the story and...well, you saw what happened.  What you also probably noticed was that the person with the strongest...let’s call it ‘aversion’...to Yang’s presence is also the person most worried about how the rest of the office is dealing with it.

Blake, Blake, Blake…she’s so concerned about keeping the office running smoothly that she doesn’t even kind of see what’s actually going on.

Then the first introduction happens, and...let’s just say it doesn’t go great.

One of the reasons for this story was that I wanted to write a pseudo ‘enemies to lovers’ type of fic.  It’s been pointed out to me that my bumblebee stories tend to be more of a ‘love at first sight’ deal, so I wanted to give something new a shot!  I think I usually end up writing love at first sight because they are my otp, which means I just see them getting together way too easily.

That all changes here, as Blake is borderline insulted that Yang doesn’t have any experience in the field of journalism.

If we read between the lines, I think it’s pretty easy to tell that Weiss might not have been 100% honest with Yang.  If we’re to believe Yang (and who wouldn’t believe her?), here’s what Weiss said: 

“Weiss asked me to come over and help you guys with whatever you need.  I’m just supposed to tell her how it goes.” 

Way to go, Weiss.  I bet that conversation was so flippant, casual, and completely devoid of any mention of Blake’s reluctance to the idea of Yang’s presence.  But can you blame Blake?  Now she has a human in the office, which she doesn’t particularly like, and that human has no experience!  Talk about insult to injury...

Something I really liked about this introduction was seeing how this office reacts to their unexpected visitor, and some of the comments they make about the situation.  Sun is obviously ecstatic to have a new friend.  Velvet is...well, Velvet is Velvet - she’s going to be friendly regardless.  Victor loves being called smart.  

Brand is a wildcard since he’s on vacation, but we’re getting plenty of hints about how everyone thinks his reaction to Yang will be.  From Lola:

“But...you know Brand won’t like this…”

And then Blake’s comment when Sun wants Yang to sit next to him:  

“If Brand shows up Monday and a human’s taken his desk, he’ll have to write his own crime article before going to prison.”  

We saw Brand briefly in the first chapter, and I really loved building out this side of him in his absence.  He seemed like a nice family man when he spoke to Blake, but he did wish that there wouldn’t be too many humans around for his vacation.  And now his coworkers seem a tad concerned about what he’ll think about Yang, which should also make readers concerned about what will happen when he gets back.

As previously mentioned, this part was originally going to be played by Adam, where Adam was out of the office when Yang arrives only to come back later and find her ‘working there.’  And he was going to...shall we say...blow a gasket or two.  But he went bye-bye, so we’ll see what the bear Faunus does instead.

Our last member of the office is Lola, who I’m really glad I managed to fit into the story a little more.  In the first passthrough, she was nothing more than a blip on the radar.  I wouldn’t be surprised if people forgot her very existence - that’s how little I used her.  

Not to fear, Lola!  You have a few more lines now, and they’re pretty good ones too!  In Chapter 3, in particular, she makes a comment that’s important mostly because of how Blake fails to see the relevance to herself:

“It’s a bit harder to keep up with the times as you get older.  We all get stuck in our ways.” 

Blake smiled and nodded at the admission, even though she only understood in theory.  

Oh, the irony.  Blake’s thinking to herself ‘Yeah, Lola, I wouldn’t understand being stuck in my ways - I’m way too young and willing to change!’  Then she turns right around and thinks something to herself that you might have missed.  But that’s why I’m here to point things out!  It’s in this paragraph right here:

At least one person would make it through this trial with little difficulty.  Well, Lola and Sun both seemed to be adjusting to the change quickly, so that was two out of five.

Two out of five…

Pop quiz!  How many people work at The Vale Voice?

That answer would be six but, when figuring out how the office is feeling about their newest arrival, Blake’s not counting herself.  This might be really subtle and have a hundred other possible explanations, but sometimes it’s the things that people don’t think that show a lot about their feelings.

At this point, it feels like everyone in the office knows Blake better than she knows herself.  Especially her BFF, photographer extraordinaire, and voice of reason - Velvet!

Shoot.  I can’t remember Velvet’s last name.  My first thought was Polendina, but that’s Penny…

Anyway, I don’t think I’ve written more than a few lines for Velvet prior to this story, and I’ll have to admit that it was really enjoyable to have her around.  As I’m sure you’ve picked up from just the first four chapters, she serves as Blake’s sounding board more often than not.  And, I think you’ll also have noticed that she’s basically the only one that Blake listens to (made all the more apparent when Blake literally asks Velvet to act as her ears in the office.

In Chapter 3 alone, Velvet has some gems.  Such as: 

“Would you rather have someone with experience, who has their own way of doing things?  Or someone who doesn’t have anything to compare us to, who seems willing to learn our ways?”

(This is literally just me rationalizing how Yang having zero experience could be a good thing and not a colossal mistake on Weiss’ part.)

“Let’s just give her a chance.  She seems eager to learn what we do.”

(I.E. Please don’t kick her out of the office already, Blake.)

And then there’s this line, which I added so that we know that other people see what Blake’s like even though Blake has no idea at the moment:

“Just checking.  You know you can be a little…”

“A little what?” she asked, her brow furrowed when she looked at Velvet.

“You know...protective.”

Blake takes that to mean she’s protective of The Voice, but is that really the case?  I think the issue with lunch was pretty illuminating because when she asked Yang to leave, she said it’s because she doesn’t want to give this small, Faunus-owned company ‘the wrong impression.’  Essentially, she’s...embarrassed, or ashamed, or otherwise just doesn’t want anyone to know that Yang’s there.

Can you imagine how Yang must have felt in this position?  She’s been there all of a few hours.  The people are nice but the boss is kind of closed off, then she’s asked to leave for lunch so a Faunus-company won’t see her - a human - in the office.  I guess we should just be glad that she came back for Day 2. 

And then there’s that comment Blake makes at the end of the day, which she totally didn’t have to add yet felt compelled to anyway:

“But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that,” she added.  When Yang was silent for several seconds, Blake looked up and found a mix of emotions in her lilac eyes.

“Yeah…” Yang finally replied with a slow nod.  “Yeah, I guess I can’t imagine what it’s like for someone to judge my intelligence based solely on my appearance.  I mean, blondes are usually seen as super smart, right?”

Yang’s response goes directly back to what Blake said to Velvet earlier, about how Yang doesn’t look like she’s capable of doing much more than make copies.  Which, like, ouch, Blake.  You don’t even know this girl!  (Obviously, irony abounds in that she doesn’t know Yang but is jumping to conclusions based on her appearance.)

Originally, Yang wasn’t going to respond about being blonde.  Instead, she was actually going to say that everyone kept showing her how to use the copier because they all assumed she was dumb since she was blonde.  Then I realized that would imply that the other workers - Velvet, Sun, all of them - were just as biased as Blake.  The point is that they aren’t all the same, yet Blake’s projecting her thoughts and concerns onto them.

So, the rest of the office isn’t treating Yang like she’s an idiot.  It’s just Blake doing that.

But Blake’s doing some good things too, right?  I thought it was really sweet when she met with Gary and discounted the ad spaces really low so that his company could afford it.  She’s all about “Faunus helping Faunus,” and that’s a great goal for her to have.  It’s just the other stuff that’s not going so well right now.

Unfortunately (for her), she’s going to have many more interactions with Yang coming up shortly.  Chapter 4 is still somewhat of an introduction to each other, but we get a better sense of how Yang’s approaching the situation, right?

I’ve always considered Yang to be the most intuitive out of Team RWBY when it comes to dealing with other people.  Weiss would be a close second, but she sometimes lacks the patience to deal with everyone she meets.  I guess I consider Yang to be easygoing, like Ruby, but skilled with people, like Weiss (but in a less suckup type of way).

Anyway, because Yang’s good at reading people, we can see that she’s already read Blake, and the situation, and provides a pretty nice summary of where she assumes she’s standing at the moment:

“But also, your trust.  I still have to earn your trust.”

After just one day at work, she knows that Blake doesn’t trust her - how’s that for a new job?  I can only imagine the conversation she had with Weiss after Day 1.  I bet it was only with Weiss’ voicemail though, because Weiss is smart enough not to pick up the phone.

Ever the glutton for punishment (or sucker for a pretty, mysterious girl perhaps?), Yang shows up for another day at the office.  One thing I really wanted to stress on her behalf is that she has no experience and no idea what she’s doing, but she’s using what skills she has to help as much as possible.  You have to admire the effort!  Or at least notice it, which Blake does.

Also, did you notice how I set up the inevitable future Bee time?  Did your mind immediately go to it when you read this:

The last thing she wanted was for Velvet to worry about her too.  Maybe she should make a more concerted effort to set foot outside the office, even if it was only for short walks during the day.  

Mighty convenient timing, right?  People are growing concerned that Blake works way too much (she does), and our favorite blonde character now calls the office of The Vale Voice her temporary home.  Unfortunately, that won’t happen this chapter, as Blake’s still a little too busy thinking Yang’s just pretending to be a good person.

And Sun asked Blake out again!  Is that four already?  Once per chapter?  That seems about right...but he’s kind of sweet about it, right?  Maybe?  Persistent, but not really pressing the issue.  It’s like he thinks if he says it enough, eventually she’ll accidentally say yes and accidentally follow him to a restaurant.

Oh, and more irony abounds in this chapter!  Blake basically made a really poor impression of herself in Chapter 3 by asking Yang to leave the office when Gary paid a visit.  She was all worried about what Gary would think if he saw a human working there, then surprise!  Gary’s family already employs a human of their own!

Again, this is Blake just putting her own thoughts and feelings onto others.  She’s surprised, and maybe even a little perturbed, that Gary’s family-owned and Faunus-operated business isn’t 100% Faunus.  Even Lloyd picks up on the surprise, which is also not the best impression for her to make!

And, in case it needs explaining, I picked the name Lloyd because of Frank Lloyd Wright, the architect.  Gary is also an allusion to a famous architect - Frank Gehry.  Obviously, I considered using Frank as a name first, but when both of these guys have the same first name, I was forced to get creative.

I think this might be the only instance where I selected names with any sort of reason behind them.  Usually I just pick something random that sounds kind of nice.  Brand, Lola, and Victor all have random names with no meaning...whereas I picked symbolic names for the random architects who play much smaller roles...

This second day wraps up with Yang reading previous versions of The Voice because I wanted to show that she’s actually very dedicated to learning as much as possible, as quickly as possible.  Plus, hard work is probably the only way she can impress Blake right now, so she’s doing all the right things.

I think what she’s really doing right now is confusing Blake, which is probably a good thing.  Blake’s life is due for a shakeup, I think, and who better to provide one than Yang?  Besides, Yang has already won Velvet’s full endorsement, and we’ve seen how much respect Blake has for Velvet...so it can’t be much longer before Blake decides to figure out for herself just who Yang is.

At least, it doesn’t feel like it should be that much longer, but I actually don’t remember what happens in the next chapter!  I guess that’s what happens when a story sits around so long, but it’s not all bad.  If anything, it means I kind of get to experience a ‘new’ story right along with you!

But I’ve rambled on too long for now and run out of chapters to talk about.  I’m excited to get into the middle of this story, where we make Blake’s life really, really complicated and mess with her emotions a bit.  Basically, her world is about to get turned upside down.  I can’t wait to see it happen (again), and I can’t wait for you to read it!

Until next time,

Miko