The Vale Voice - Commentary - Ch. 1-2 (Patreon)

So begins another story, and another set of commentaries!  This story, like basically every one that came before it, is...different.  By that, I mean that it has a different feel or different tone than the others.  That tends to happen since I really enjoy working with different emotions or problems than what we’ve seen before.

Overall, I would call The Vale Voice...slower.  I’m actually pretty worried about how it will be received because it’s pretty slow, and the tone is more...subdued?  lt isn’t a very ‘in your face’ type of story at all.  A story of nuance, if you will.

Also, as I wrote before the first chapter, there’s essentially zero White Rose in this story.  This is something else I’ve been trying out recently, which is essentially giving more focus to the starring pair.  You’ll see something similar in the next two stories too, but not to fear!  I’m currently working on a couple of White Rose stories that are also severely lacking in Bumblebee.  And then there’s the Queens of Remnant, which is so equally both that I can’t wait to get back to it.

Basically, we’re with the Bees for now but not forever.  I think what I’ll also do, to help break up the focus on just one pairing, is write a few oneshots for the non-starring pair.  That way when our main story is Bee-centric, we’ll get a few White Rose oneshots in the interim.  When the main story is Rose-centric, the opposite would be true.

But that’s a matter for the future!  Right now, we’re focusing on Blake and this new world we find ourselves in.

One of the things I really like about this story was using some of Blake’s goals and desires from the show - i.e.  fighting for Faunus rights - and dropping her into a real-world setting.  As Chapter 1 shows us, she’s driven and determined to make a difference, but things aren’t going so well right now.  She’s risen to the highest position at her small company, but that only means she feels the responsibility to succeed and take care of everyone working with her.

Over the course of the story, I’d like you to keep an eye on how she feels about her ‘mission’ as well as the world around her.  Her mission is pretty lofty, too!  As she states it, she wants to “change the world for all Faunus.”  Typical Blake, right?  Setting some easily attainable goals for herself.

Unfortunately, from what we see in Chapter 1, she’s almost...bitter...about how things are going.  I found this bitterness so interesting to explore in her personality.  To me, if felt like the next logical step for someone with such grand goals, but who butts her head against the wall time and time again.  There’s no White Fang for her here, and her parents aren’t high-ranking leaders in the government.  She’s just a somewhat regular girl who’s good with words and has very big goals.

The Vale Voice has become the foundation of her goal, if you couldn’t already tell.  Through this Faunus-run newspaper, she sees a way to fight back and let their voices be heard (see what I did there?).  She took up a literal sword in the show, but she picks up a pen and paper here.

Please excuse how archaic print newspapers feel in this day and age.  Obviously they’re pretty rare these days (although I do still see some around from time to time!).  We’ll just say that this story takes place at the onset of the internet where most people have access to email but still like their newspapers in print form.  It’s nice to read something in hard copy sometimes, right?  

Another ‘writer liberty’ I took was changing The Voice to a once-per-week publication.  Initially, I considered having them print daily like a typical paper, but that idea quickly grew too hectic to keep.  Especially with such a small staff!  How would they fill an entire newspaper with articles every single day with only five writers?  Plus, that environment would be far too chaotic for developing the character relationships like I wanted to.

I also realize that “The Voice” is the name of that reality singing competition, but I wanted to use it because of the symbolism!  I considered using a more traditional newspaper name like the two competitors mentioned in the first chapter - The Vale Sentinel and Vale Independent - but those didn’t capture Blake’s mission in the same way.  She wants Faunus to be heard, and what better way than by using their (written) voices?

So many people are going to think it’s about singing...which is ironic since I don’t really like writing any type of music-related stories.  Mostly because I’ve never been very musically-inclined (sports, however…).  But that’s ok!  Just means I need to write a killer description, which I’ve yet to do…

Surprisingly, I don’t feel any inner angst over this title, regardless of the potential confusions.  But titles are hard sometimes!  Usually, I’ll start a story with one title and end of changing halfway through.  This might happen because I’m narrowing in on the central theme of the story, whereas I begin with only a rough understanding of where I want to go.  Whatever the reason, I like this title and never used a different one.  Maybe that’s because it’s just the name of the newspaper…

What stories do I still have some angst about, you ask?  I can think of one off the top of my head, and that’s What Defines Us.  I still remember writing it as “Eternity,” so that’s some measure of uncertainty left from that time period.  I think I actually wrote most of the story under that title, so it probably stuck more than most.  I guess other people like it though, so that’s good enough for me!

Anyway, back to The Vale Voice.  Since I haven’t watched past Volume 3 (apparently Volume 7 didn’t contain the bee moment I’ve been waiting all these years for), I didn’t have many Faunus characters to fill out The Voice’s staff.  As great as an office with just Blake, Velvet, and Sun would be, that seems way too small to create any sort of weekly newspaper.  So I created a few outside characters!  They aren’t big parts of the story, but I hope you like them.  I’ve personally grown to love them and the subtle liveliness they add to The Voice’s office.

I’ll tell you though..I seriously considered adding Adam to the mix.  Blake, Velvet, Sun, and Adam.  What a staff…

Adam was going to take Sun’s role as ‘that guy who keeps asking Blake out even though she keeps saying no.’  Only he was going to be a little more aggressive about it.  He was also going to serve as that negative voice in Blake’s ear, who would constantly remind her of how bad and evil humans were.  And, as you can imagine with Yang’s impending appearance, he was going to be...let’s call it ‘mean.’

Fortunately, this is what OCs are for!  Goodbye, Adam.  Hello Brand, Lola, and Victor.  I’ll give you more details on them later, but I don’t want to spoil the gradual character reveal by dumping a fact sheet on you right now.

And Brand’s birthday is May 17th...

Kidding, I don’t know when their birthdays are.  I didn’t do that much character building.

What we do know is that Velvet is the lead photographer and Blake’s office BFF.  Sun asked Blake out twice in two days, so we should all know what role he plays.  What’s interesting about Sun though is some of his nonchalant actions in Chapter 2.  If you noticed, he’s ‘bothering’ Blake while she’s trying to work, but he’s also handing her the papers and pens she needs before she needs them.  Through these little interactions, I wanted to show that he’s not just an oblivious idiot taking up her time.  He actually has a thoughtful side of him that we’ll see more of later.

Meanwhile, Blake is ignoring basically everything he says - because she’s trying to work!  But also because I didn’t want to actually come up with a story about his crazy evening.  Sometimes, I like to take the easy road...

Also, before I forget to mention it, I love Kali Belladonna, and I love using her to tease Blake.  In this case, she’s trying to set up her very-eligible daughter on a date, while embarrassing her in the process.  This thought from Blake is probably one of my favorites:

She could only imagine how those conversations went…‘Why, aren’t you handsome?  Would you like to date my daughter?’

Can you imagine?  In this story, I thought that Blake’s parents would own some type of store back in Menagerie where they have regular Faunus customers.  And you can bet that Kali knows who all of the best prospective boyfriends are for her daughter.

Now I’m just thinking about what happens when Blake goes home to visit.  Her mom’s like, “Oh, you should stop by the store real quick!” and when she does, there’s like fifteen very attractive, very eligible Faunus lingering about.  “What a coincidence!” Kali would say when Blake gives her a death glare.  She then takes Blake by the arm and introduces her to every single one of them - and it will be the mom introduction, you know?  The “This is Henry - isn’t he dashing?” followed by “This is my daughter - isn’t she gorgeous?  Smart too.  And single!”

Maybe there’s a good reason Blake hasn’t visited home in a while...

Moving on...Chapter 2 gets our story off the ground and brings in our favorite heiress.  I had to have one of the companies respond to Blake’s emails relatively quickly because I needed to get the story started!  And then I didn’t want them to set up a time to meet in like a week, so Weiss conveniently has to go out of town for a few weeks.  Story magic!

That brings Weiss to The Vale Voice in Chapter 2, and I really love the role she plays in this chapter.  These are two incredibly smart women having a conversation, but we can see that only one of them is speaking from a more open mindset.

I think what I like most is that Weiss isn’t afraid to come right out and challenge Blake.  Of course, why would she be afraid?  As Blake was quick to point out, Weiss comes from a position of privilege and power - she’s used to getting what she wants.  The Vale Voice is probably nothing more than a postage stamp compared to the conglomerate she’s in charge of running.

Which is what makes this situation even more unique, but Blake kind of misses the point.  This is the leader/owner of a huge corporation that’s personally paying a visit to their office.  Weiss isn’t just talking about buying some ad spots, as she says so herself.  If they buy some spots, they’re not just advertising, they’ll become partners.  Blake, however, gets caught up in the ‘why her’ part of Weiss’ questions.

Did you feel the way Blake shut down when Weiss asked her what made her different?  Her mind immediately goes to her ears, but that’s clearly not what Weiss was getting at.  This line, in particular, annoys Blake to no end:

“The city is filled with Faunus.  That’s not what makes you different.”

It’s so funny to make Weiss the more open-minded one, especially with how she was in Volume 1.  But this is a different world, and she has clearly had a different set of experiences than Blake. 

What she was really asking was what made Blake different from the editors-in-chief at the other companies - like her work ethic?  Her values?  Her ability to lead?  But Blake just jumped to the topic that’s always at the top of her mind - that she’s Faunus and they’re human.

We can only imagine how that meeting would have gone if Blake reacted differently in many instances.  Weiss probably would have agreed right then and there, but then we wouldn’t have a story!  Instead, Weiss seems hesitant, but I have to applaud her on still giving The Voice a chance!  From what we know about Weiss, she probably would have given up if this wasn’t something she wanted to do.

So she gives Blake another chance to prove that this meeting was just a fluke.  They strike a deal, and we can only guess who’s about to show up at The Vale Voice tomorrow.  (I want to just say it, but that’s a spoiler!)

With our story setup out of the way, we can start getting into the good stuff!  Again, I’m excited for you to see what happens next, even though it might take a while for us to get there.  The slower the build, the greater the reward?  At least, I hope so.

In the meantime, thank you so much for the continued support!  I can’t believe I’ve been doing Patreon for just over two years now.  It’s been such a great experience so far, and has definitely encouraged me to write in a way I never had before.  I’m writing more consistently now (by that, I mean daily), and my process for working through a longer story continues to improve.  

Right now, I think I’m actually finishing stories twice as fast as I’m posting them.  I’ve considered going to two chapters a week, but that will make these commentaries really hard to keep up with.  So...we’ll see.  If I end up finishing Queens of Remnant and still have a few finished stories in my queue, I might just have to do it.

That was a very long-winded way to say thank you for motivating me!

Until next time,

Miko