What Defines Us - Commentary - Ch. 21-22 (Patreon)

 Hello everyone!  Welcome to yet another commentary for the same story we’ve been reading for what feels like years now.  Or is that just me that feels like a majority of my life has been devoted to this story?  You could almost say that this story is what defines me.

…

That’s weird...it’s still bright outside, but I swear I hear crickets…

Anyway!  By now you’ve all read Chapters 21 and 22 of WDU.  If you hadn’t, you probably did that while I was making horrible jokes (seriously, I don’t know how you read so fast).  But now that you have…

*insert evil laughter here*

Did you think I would put two memory chapters back-to-back?  Did you expect Ruby’s chapter to be a resolution to that not-so-subtle cliffhanger I left you with?  I hope your answer is ‘yes’ because that was a bit of the point.  By putting two memories back-to-back, I broke all rules of convention!  (Not really.)

But I broke the rules of the story so far, where we haven’t had two of these chapters in a row.  In doing so, I extended that cliffhanger three weeks.  You don’t even have the answer yet - what happened to Ruby?  This commentary doesn’t have that answer either, but I do have some other things to talk about!

I just realized that I shouldn’t be in such a good mood because these chapters were actually really difficult to get through.  Weiss’ chapter (Chapter 21) is one of the saddest chapters, in my opinion.  I believe I’d edited that chapter at least seven times, and I cried each time.

This was another chapter written with the intent of causing some confusion at the beginning.  I think it’s rather boring to come right out and announce that this is a memory or a flashback.  Where’s the fun in that?  I want you to use your wonderful brain and pick up clues until you have enough hints that you figure it out.  Personally, I think that figuring out the story is one of the most enjoyable parts of reading.  I’ll give you the clues, but it’s your job as reader to find them and piece them together.

At the beginning of Chapter 21, I hope you were shouting at Weiss that she’s an idiot for running away again.  How could she?  She made all that progress with Ruby, and was finally honest with Winter at the Dust factory tour, and then she takes off at the first sign of trouble?  What the hell, Weiss!

But, as she moves through the airship station, we get hints that maybe things aren’t quite as they seem.

Now, I haven’t seen the recent volumes of the show, but I imagine that the Schnees are very well known and visible in Atlas.  That’s what I was alluding to when the wealthy lady at the valet pickup gives Weiss a second glance.  Here Weiss is, running away, yet she runs to a place where people know who she is and expect certain things from her.  Her ‘escape’ isn’t exactly an escape.

This is further shown on the car ride from the airship station.  Weiss thinks to herself that she needs to hold it together because she can’t allow the driver to see her weaknesses, because the driver would report to her father.

If you think about it...she ‘escaped’ to the one place where her every move is potentially watched and reported.  Maybe this was intentional?  Maybe she knew it would force her to hold it together?  Or maybe it was the only place she knew to go, where she knew what to expect and what was expected of her.  Comfort in knowing her role, perhaps?  

Regardless of her reasons for running to Atlas, that’s where she finds herself.  Did you notice the thought she had about what home smells like?  Fresh rose petals remind her of home.  In the previous chapter, she and Ruby talked about how Blake thinks that campfire smells like home.  Ruby calls Blake and Yang weird, but Weiss has the same ‘weird’ quirk.  They’re all pretty much just weirdos for each other.  No harm there!

I loved bringing Winter back into the story, this time as the first person to learn that Weiss ran from Vale.  As she’s done throughout the story, she tries to help, but their relationship just doesn’t allow her to press as far as she needs to.  She and Weiss believe in giving each other space and privacy with their personal feelings, and Winter is unwilling to break that unwritten rule.  She could be worried that doing so would only alienate Weiss further.  

Have you ever been in a situation like that?  Where you know more needs to be done or said, but you’re worried that pressing too far might put the entire endeavor in jeopardy?

So Winter leaves, and then the worst part of this chapter happens.

The phone call is the moment I start to cry.  The idea of Yang crying...begging Weiss to come back...gets me every time.  I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I think that Yang is the one Weiss hurt the most.  Yang had her best friend turn their back on her and knew that Ruby lost someone important in the process.  Because Ruby doesn’t remember, Yang hurts for both of them.  

I hope that seeing this moment gave greater understanding into Yang’s struggle to accept Weiss in their lives.  I hope that you can sympathize for her and everything she went through.  That was my main objective with this chapter.  I wanted everyone to see how Weiss felt in that moment, but I also wanted you to see how much this hurt Yang.

Three of the comments made at the end of this chapter - one by Winter, Yang, and Blake - are among the words Weiss hears during Chapter 1, when she thinks everything has come to an end.  That’s how impactful and important this moment was to her.  She remembers what they said, but the words only add to the emotions haunting her.

She’s your partner.

You can’t just leave!  Ruby needs you now!

Please think about what you’re doing…

Each of them tried in their own way to reach out to Weiss and get her to come back, but ultimately those efforts weren’t fruitful.  At least, not at this moment, when she feels she’s lost everything she ever cared for.  But those are the moments when it’s hardest to listen to reason, aren’t they?

Moving on the Chapter 22 - did you think this chapter would hold the answer to our cliffhanger?  When did you figure out that it wouldn’t?  I’m genuinely curious!  When did you realize we were still in the past?

Again, I made the memory chapter intentionally confusing at the beginning - especially so because we all expect Ruby to be in the hospital, right?  And then you realize...this is when Ruby first woke up after her accident.  

This is another chapter that exists because I ended up with two Weiss chapters back-to-back in my outline.  Ultimately, it does have a place in this story - I showed Weiss’ reaction to the news of Ruby’s memory loss, so I needed to show how Ruby reacted to the news.

In a way, this chapter does answer the question ‘What happened to Ruby?’  Just not in the right timeline.  It also provides more illumination on what Yang went through taking care of her sister.

The arm comment always gets me.  Can you imagine how shocking that would be?  Not only does Yang look different, but her arm is...not the same.  I really appreciate that Yang put on a jacket and gloves while waiting for Ruby to wake back up.  They didn’t understand the extent of the loss at that point, but she knew enough to hide her arm to make sure Ruby was more comfortable.

Though not implied in any way, I like to think the nurse in this chapter is the same nurse who worked at Beacon’s clinic and taped up Blake’s ankle at the end of Retribution (one of my previous Bumblebee stories).  She was no-nonsense, worked fast, and skilled at her job - we need great nurses out there like her!

Oh!  We’ve actually stumbled across a part of the story where I made a reference to something, but I don’t know where it is!  Actually...maybe this is the first time it was brought up, and the second mention is somewhere else...ok, you’re smart - you’ll find it!  But here’s what I’m referring to: in order to figure out how many years were lost, Yang asks Ruby what she got for her last birthday.  She says a book on Grimm.  This book comes up again later, but I have no idea where!  I think it’s towards the end of the story, so keep an eye out.  Or maybe I already referenced it somewhere?  If I did and you’ve found it, please let me know!  

Also, I literally just realized that Yang could’ve simply asked Ruby how old she was.  Ugh.  See, these moments happen sometimes, and you don’t realize you took the more difficult route until later on.  You might’ve read the chapter and immediately thought - ‘Why not just ask for her age?’  Or maybe you read the chapter and didn’t think it sounded funny at all!

Ok, well it bothers me a little bit.  I like interactions to feel real and genuine...and there was an easier way for Yang to get that information, which I think she would’ve been more likely to do.  

Oh well - can’t change it now!  I feel regret though…

What might be saddest aspect about this chapter is if you line it up with Chapter 7 so you know what’s going on outside of the hospital room.  While Yang is telling Ruby the fur trader story, Weiss and Blake are outside the window trying to come to terms with the situation.  Ruby is listening to Yang’s comforting story while trying not to freak out about her lost memories, and Weiss is right there...crying because she’s waited so long for this moment, and now she can’t even see Ruby.

Ruby doesn’t see Weiss though...and now I’m wondering what might have happened if she had.  What if she saw Weiss outside the window, and what if she saw Weiss look at her and start crying?  I’m sure it would be really confusing in a ‘why is that stranger crying at me?’ way, but would it have sparked anything in her? 

Would it have sparked anything in Weiss if they’d made eye contact at this moment?  Would it have changed their interaction the next day, when Weiss accidentally bumped into Ruby in the hall?  Maybe Ruby would’ve said something...and maybe it would’ve made Weiss stay?

There are so many ways this could’ve happened.  It leaves us with a lot of what-ifs, but I think most stories do.  One of the fun parts of reading is thinking about what could have happened and comparing to what actually did!  And then throwing your hands in the air in frustration because the characters were this close to avoiding all of this to begin with.  But if they avoided the pitfalls, we wouldn’t have a story, would we?

Hmm...

WDU: Truncated

Weiss walked down the hall towards the nurses’ station, trying to calm her nerves and steady her shaking hands.  After yesterday - making such a scene in the middle of the hall - she needed to keep her emotions under control.  The only way she would get through this was if she kept those overwhelming feelings of loss at bay and put on a brave face.  Not for herself, but for Ruby - for Yang.

Reaching the nurses’ station, she found there were no nurses around at the moment to check her in.  Figured.  There were always nurses here, except for the moment she needed one.  Undeterred, she tapped the countertop while apprehension settled in.  Yang and Blake weren’t here yet, so Weiss would have to wait a little longer anyway...but that didn’t mean she wanted to wait longer than necessary.

Losing her patience, she decided that she would find a nurse somewhere down the hall.  Spinning on one heel to stomp away, she nearly walked into a patient in a wheelchair being guided behind her at that moment. 

“Excuse -”

She began to say ‘excuse me’ on instinct, but she only got the ‘excuse’ part out before the ‘me’ stuck in her throat - lodged there by the purest silver she’d ever known.

Of course.  If Ruby was awake, it would be next to impossible to keep her confined to a bed.  Even if she could hardly walk, she would insist upon moving around.  Fortunately, rather than risk her falling and hurting herself, a nurse was pushing her in a wheelchair down the hall.

So there she was.  

“That’s...ok,” Ruby replied with a soft slur, giving Weiss a hint of a smile.  For a moment, it looked like Ruby was going to turn away...but then she stopped.

“I...saw you yesterday…” she said, her mouth turning down in a frown as she undoubtedly recalled the rampant tears Weiss had shed.  “Are you...ok now?  I’m sorry you were sad…”

The response was so typically Ruby that tears immediately sprang into Weiss’ eyes.

“It’s...it’s ok,” she managed to reply, trying to hold her tears at bay but failing miserably.  After all this time waiting for Ruby to wake up…only for the situation to spiral out of her control…

Ruby’s memories were lost - the doctors and Yang had said as much yesterday.  Ruby didn’t remember, yet the first thing she did was try to make Weiss feel better.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby quickly said, surprised and concerned by the reaction.

Shaking her head, Weiss wiped tears away only for more to appear.

“It’s alright.  It’s...it’s just…” she tried to explain.  But no explanation came out.  Instead, her shoulders shook with tears as pent up sadness and loss finally spilled over.  “I’m sorry…” she whispered, knowing she was making an absolute fool of herself, but unable to pull herself together.

But Ruby was only concerned - worried, even.  And then...she held out her good arm, motioning Weiss forward for a hug.

It was an offer Weiss instantly accepted, leaning forward and hugging Ruby close.  She felt Ruby wrap an arm around her and pull her closer, all the tenderness in the world coming from an injured girl providing kindness to a stranger. 

Inhaling the distant scent of roses, and holding onto the familiar sense of warmth and comfort from Ruby’s aura, Weiss released her grasp on control.  For the first time since the hunt, she showed the cracks in her heart and felt the pain seeping through.  The anguish and guilt...everything was laid to bare for all to see.

But she didn't break.  With only one good arm, Ruby held her together.

***

Well, now I’m going to cry - writing the commentary, of all things!  I don’t know why I just wrote that, but I wanted to see how it would turn out.  I guess this is one of those alternate paths - what could have been.  There’s still a long road to recovery from there, but damn if that’s not an easier one for Weiss.  The two of them would likely recover together, in this case, instead of Ruby recovering while Weiss did anything but think about the past.

I can’t even remember where we were in the chapter anymore.  I think we were...oh!  The fur trader story.  Ok, so I made the entire fur trader story up because I thought that, in this situation, Ruby might want the comfort of hearing a familiar story.  When you’re scared and alone, you want something you’re familiar with, right?  With her world turned upside down, Ruby definitely deserves some comfort at the moment.  But I also wanted Yang to come up with something that related to Ruby’s current predicament.  So, I created a little parable-type story that would accomplish both tasks!

Oh, and at the end of the chapter, did you notice that Ruby wonders if she even knows any Faunus?  With how much importance is placed on Ruby forgetting Weiss, we often forget that there’s a fourth member of their team - another person who didn’t know Ruby before Beacon, and was therefore lost with the rest of those memories.

Basically, everyone was hurt in this story, in varying degrees.  But we’re hoping that everyone can find a way to move forward, and find a way to heal.  Now that they’re all together again, maybe this can finally happen.

And maybe there will finally be a resolution to that cliffhanger next week.  We’ll see.  ;)

Until next time, 

Miko