Hard Truths (Patreon)

So first off I wanna apologize in advance if this is real bummer, but I just wanted to get some things off my chest. Also sorry if what I say isn't the most articulate, I'm kind of a stream of thought kind of guy and things can get a little muddled.

When a new year is coming up we tend to look back over the year and take stock in what we have done. While I have done quite a bit of drawing and I'm proud of allot of that work I haven't really done much in the way personal, social, career or financial gain, and I'm sort of starting to hate my self for it.

See in a few weeks I will be turning 33 and I have no job, no girlfriend, no friends out side of the internet. no car, no drivers licence and no place of my own. I have sort of just been drifting through life as the world passes me by, and that really isn't any way to live but when I start to try and think of ways to change this I kind of lock up with fear.

Like I have been thinking of starting a second youtube channel that is a proper drawing channel, and maybe try and update it like twice a month, but as soon as the idea of being noticed, like really noticed I got scared and the idea hit a stop in my mind. It also doesn't help that I have been overwhelming my self with too many ideas like "I should do a comic" "I should do an animation" "oo that's a cool idea for a game" "I should do more drawing videos" so yeah that happens

I have also had to think about possible harder truth like, maybe my art is just a distraction and that I will never really make a career with it. Maybe I should just give it up on my art, find some job that I can tolerate and just do art as a hobby on the side. I have thought that maybe in 2019 if I can't make a living some how with my art then I should pack it up

I'm sure I could go on talking about other things, but im afraid this might turn into a "poor me" thing and I just wanted to get things off my chest. I don't really want people to feel bad for me ether, I'm in the situation I'm in due to my own choices in life and I must deal with the out come until I'm willing to change things.

Ok that's enough of that, a new year is coming up and that means new possibilities. To better tomorrows, and thanks for putting up with me