After Action Report (Patreon)

 Celestia reviewed the paperwork in front of her as she sipped her hibiscus tea in my Equestria dreamscape. She had three different reports spread out in a fan pattern on her desk. With slow, deliberate motions she'd levitate a sheet of paper and examined it for a moment then with equal care she'd return it to its original place.

  This ritual played out for several minutes until she felt she needed to move this bit of office theater on to the next act. She set the last piece of paper down. Sipped from her tea one last time and returned the gold rimmed porcelain cup to its matching saucer. Then she looked at the three mares that had been standing silently at attention through this entire act. The stood motionless, eyes straight ahead although this meant staring into the glare of morning sun that poured in through the large, arched windows behind Celestia.  

 
  The Princess of the Sun sighed and gave the mares a slightly weary smile. “Ladies you were very thorough and relentless in your investigation, and suspect Broken Beaker has provided us with some useful leads.” 

  The three mares waited for the inevitable but.  

 
  “But, I really must call into question some your more unorthodox techniques you three used in the course of this operation. I know that you were required to work covertly and were unable to inform the local authorities about your operation. Also I know that you were understaffed for an operation of this complexity which required you to be creative in executing the capture of the suspect.”

  
  “But.” There was another one of those buts. “Quick Silver, I think you are getting a bit overly generous in your use of explosives. Yes your alchemic research is proceeding very well but these operations are not meant to be used field experiments for you to verify the success of your latest compound. The Crown will have to discreetly pay the landlord of that apartment for damages sustained in the apprehension of the suspect.” 

  “Blood Feather. Once again your investigative work was indispensable in determining the location of the suspect, and it was your further scouting that allowed the operation to happen.” 

  “But. Your methods of acquiring information about the suspect have made my legal counsel start drinking again. Fortunately the suspect is cooperating with us, and we are not required to call upon any other witnesses from the apartment building. Which is good because you spent several evenings with the main witness, the landlord, while engaging in what can only be described as ..” Celestia levitated a piece of paper and stared at it for a moment. “vigorous sexual activity. Dear, you do realize that is considered compromising the witness, and contaminating the evidence pool?” 

  Celestia looked at the last mare. “Phoenix your commitment and devotion to the Crown has never been stronger. But, I would really like to see you return from one of these operations in the same physical condition you left. Yes I know your special talent allows to take risks that other ponies must avoid, but I think you're becoming just a bit cavalier about being blown up, hacked, impaled, flambeed, and generally injured while performing your duties.” 

  Celestia stared at the unicorn for a second. “Although if one were to look for a silver lining; I think this last operation has removed some of the worst scars from your face. It looks much nicer. Try keeping that way in the future.”  

 
  Celestia rose from her desk and strolled around it and so she could stand in front of the mares. She looked down at them and smiled. “You are some my most useful and loyal subjects. Time after time you have succeeded where others have failed, and I'm very, very proud of you all. But I must insist that you reconsider your methods in future field operations.” 

  Celestia levitated three large, sealed envelopes from her desk and gave them to the mares. “And  I have another assignment for you three. There is an airship waiting to take you to your destination at mooring Number 12. The flight officer onboard will give you further details. Unfortunately this operation has tight timeline to it. Go to the armory and retrieve what gear you think you'll need before departing. This will be an operation in open, rural conditions, but there are still subjects of the realm living in the area. Try to keep the size of the craters as small as possible. The airship departs at 17:00 today. That is all. You are dismissed, and ladies please return to me safe and sound.” 

  The three mares stomped their right front hoofs in unison. “Yes M'am!” Then they turned and left the office. Celestia was already filing their reports and tackling the next thing on her daily agenda as they left the office.  

 
 To be continued.