Hangover (Patreon)

 While Queen Chrysalis was killing a pony in my Equestria dreamscape, Thank you for your assistance another pony kind of wished someone would put them out of their misery. 

  
  Princess Celestia hummed a happy little tune as she levitated a teaspoon of sugar into her coffee. She then stirred it for 20 or more seconds. The sharp tinking of the spoon on the inside of the porcelain cup kept time with her humming. Satisfied with the results the princess levitated the spoon out of the coffee and tapped the head of the spoon on the rim cup several times making a bright, ringing sound. Setting the spoon down on the table she looked across at her sister.  

 
  "Lulu dear would you like some coffee?" The pale alicorn asked in a painfully chipper voice. "And you've haven't touched your breakfast. So did your night on the town with Phoenix go?" 

  The Princess of the Night stared vacantly down at the food in front of her with her bloodshot right eye. Her left eye was still swollen shut. A testament to the ferocity of Phoenix's hoof that had crashed into her face when they had sparred I'm not Celestia in the palace gymnasium. Are you two done having fun Her usually beautiful flowing mane was sloppy disheveled mess. Slowly she lifted her head and abruptly winced as the hideous brilliance of her sister's damn ball of fiery torment burned her. Luna quickly lowered her head and shifted her mane to cover her one open eye.  

  
  "It, it, was quite a night." She said softly. 

  
  "Yes! Yes it was." Replied her sister in much louder voice. "I could hear you singing in the taverns from my quarters in the palace. Hmmm, let's see if the morning paper has anything to say about your expedition with Phoenix to the magical land of ethanol poisoning." 

  Levitating the morning edition of the Canterlot Courier off the table, Celestia snapped the paper open with sharp, crisp, cracking sound. Her sister shivered slightly at the sound. The Co-Ruler of Equestria tapped her chin with a front hoof as her eyes scanned the paper.  

 
  "Ah!" She exclaimed. "Right here on the front page!" Celestia peered over the edge of the paper at her sister for a second and then resumed reading. "Oh this one has a catchy headline: 'Princess of the Night acoustically bombards Canterlot with limericks. Residents greeting the morning sun with ringing ears.' "
  Celestia continued searching the paper. "How about this one: 'Dozens of shopkeepers report storefront windows shattered as a result of princess's ear-piercing singing.' " 

  For her part Luna groaned and slowly lowered her head onto the table. "Ugh. By the stars! When did ponies learn to make such potent spirits?" 

  
  Her older sister took a long sip of her coffee. "Ah yes! That's right. You missed the last couple of hundred of years and the revolution in distilling technology. It has quite changed the drinking habits of ponies, and has resulted in the creation of a whole new range of drinks!" 

  "They're evil. They're foul. I never want to try them again." Mumbled the newly-minted Princess of Hangovers. 

  "Ah that's too bad. Because I could've sworn I saw an article in the business section of the paper that said the Association of Equestrian Distillers wanted to make you their patron princess in light of how much you drank of their product last night!" 

  Luna was silent for a second. Then she tilted her head slightly and looked up at her sister. "So how is Phoenix doing?" 

  Celestia took a bite from her croissant before replying. "She's alive, and she probably made medical history last night when she proved that is possible for a pony to vomit its own body weight in effluvia. But she done this before I so have no doubt she'll pull through like before."

 
  Luna looked at her sister in horror. "She's done this before Celly? She's faced this horror more than once? Sun and moon! That mare is indestructible!"

 
  Celestia laughed at this declaration. "Yes, yes she's a rugged one, but ordinary ponies drink these spirits dear. Most of them just exercise some degree of moderation. So for the future I have two pieces of useful advice. First until you have more familiarity with them it would be prudent if you limit your consumption of hard liquor."

 
  "And you other piece of advice?" Groaned her younger sister.

 
  Celestia grinned. "If you feel compelled to read limericks don't do it in the Royal Canterlot Voice." 

  
 To be continued.