From Bat Fights to Sound Bites: The Triumphant (and Totally Bonkers) Return of Orchid Audio (Patreon)

Oh, my dearest Patrons, a story most grave I have to share—brace yourselves for drama that might just curl your hair! This is your darling (and slightly dishevelled) Orchid, coming to you live from the centre of a whirlwind of vampires and trash pandas, the likes of which would make Bram Stoker and Kung Fu Panda look like a children's tea party.

Yes, you read that right. My bedroom—ahem, the grand Orchid Audio Studios—has been under siege. Vampire bats, which I mistook for a particularly aggressive variety of mosquito, had taken residence in my closet. The nefarious creatures! You might wonder, Where do the trash pandas fit into this saga? Well, darling, they are the silent knights in this melodramatic tale. In their quest for garbage (who knew my half-eaten leftovers would serve a higher purpose?) they courageously fought off the vampire menace, turning my recording studio into an arena of the supernatural!

It has been a dark time, my darlings, the battle in the confines of my room left me bedazzled, depressed, and desperately in need of a deep clean service. It wasn’t the vampires or the fighting raccoons that put me down, but the deafening silence when I had to halt the magic of my voice reaching your eager ears.

But fret not, my beloved audience. Your Orchid is resilient! Just like a trash panda in the face of a shiny piece of garbage, I will persevere! And so, after an eternity (or, you know, a few weeks), I am absolutely ecstatic to announce that Orchid Audio is back, baby! Those lovable, garbage-loving critters have scurried away with their vampiric foes, and my bedroom-cum-recording-studio is once again a sanctuary of audio delights. And just to tease a bit, you can start expecting aural magic in your Patreon feeds starting from Tuesday, 25th July 2023.

Ready your ears, sweet ones, Orchid Audio is coming back with a voice sultrier and more dramatic than ever—you might want to sit down for this one! ;) So hold onto your headphones, darlings, because the dulcet tones of your favourite voice actress are about to fill your ears and hearts once again.

Yours in flirty, melodramatic excitement, Orchid, Queen of Vampires, and Trash Pandas