Hull by Night - Session One (The Only Session I Am Ever Coming up With) (Patreon)

Ah, greetings, my dear captives! I mean, players. Welcome to the start of our Hull by Night campaign. I must say, I'm absolutely thrilled that you've all decided to join me on this journey.

Now, I do apologize for the restraints; I'm afraid I had to take some drastic measures to ensure that you all showed up for our first session. But don't worry; I've made sure that your character sheets are securely taped to your foreheads so that you can start creating your vampire personas as we speak.

And I hope you're all hungry, because I've spent the entire night baking some special treats for us to enjoy. I've got scones, cucumber sandwiches, and, of course, some good old Yorkshire tea. 

Now, as you can see, I'm dressed up as Lady Arabella, one of the most respected and feared vampires in Hull. I do hope you appreciate the effort I've put into this costume; I even dug out my grandmother's finest pearls for the occasion.

And to set the mood, I've got a Roadman Raj mixtape on. I hope you all enjoy a bit of grime music because it's a staple of Hull's nightlife.

Now, before we get started, let me tell you a bit about the extended Hull by Night lore behind Lady Arabella's taser. You see, she's had to resort to using this unconventional weapon because, well, she's just that badass. The other vampires in Hull don't stand a chance against her.

But enough about Lady Arabella—let's start creating your vampire characters and delve into the mysteries and intrigues of Hull's undead community. I promise you, this campaign will be an experience unlike any other.

And, just to make sure we're all on the same page, I do have a taser here, but don't worry, it's just for show. I wouldn't dream of actually using it on any of you, unless of course you step out of line. Just kidding! Maybe.

Where was I? Oh yes, creating our vampire characters! Now, let's see what sort of vampires we have here. We've got a Nosferatu, a Toreador, a Gangrel, and a Malkavian—quite the diverse group, I must say.

Let's start by choosing your clan and filling in your character sheets. Oh, and don't mind the taser on the table; it's just there for dramatic effect, I promise.

Now, let me tell you a bit more about Lady Arabella's taser. Legend has it that she acquired it during her time as a mortal, when she worked as a police officer. When she was turned into a vampire, she kept the taser as a reminder of her human life and as a means of defending herself against those who would try to challenge her authority.

But enough about Lady Arabella and her taser—let's focus on creating your own unique vampires. Oh, and before I forget, here are some of my special Hull-themed treats: haddock bites, chip butties, and, of course, some mushy peas.

Now, as we fill out your character sheets, let me tell you a bit more about the vampire community in Hull. You'll be interacting with a colourful cast of characters, from the posh totty to the chavs and roadmen. There's even a vampire who dresses up as a seagull and terrorizes the local pigeon population.

And speaking of the seagull vampire, let me just grab my seagull costume so I can fully embody the role for you. What's that? No, it's not weird; it's called being dedicated to your craft.

Now, let's get back to the campaign. Your characters will be navigating a complex web of alliances and rivalries, all while trying to keep the Masquerade intact and dealing with the challenges and surprises that Hull has in store for them. I promise you, this campaign will be full of unexpected twists and turns, from a vampire rave in an abandoned fish factory to a high-stakes game of cricket with the local werewolves.

And don't worry about the taser; it's just there for show, I promise. Although, I must admit, Lady Arabella does have a bit of a mean streak when it comes to enforcing her authority.

Now, who's ready to start their Hull by Night adventure? Oh, and did I mention I've also got some Hull-themed temporary tattoos for everyone? You know, just to really get into the spirit of things.

Ah, wonderful! Now that our characters are all set, let's dive into our first scene in Hull by Night.

As you step out into the night air of Hull, you're struck by the dampness of the city. The smell of the nearby Humber Estuary mingles with the stench of the city's bustling fish docks. Seagulls wheel overhead, their cries echoing through the narrow streets and alleys.

You find yourselves in a run-down part of the city, surrounded by towering brick buildings that seem to lean in menacingly from all sides. The streetlights flicker, casting a sickly glow on the surrounding walls. It's the sort of place where you wouldn't want to be caught alone after dark.

Suddenly, you hear a noise from the shadows—a shuffling, scrabbling sound. As you turn to investigate, a figure steps out into the light, brandishing a...fish?

Yes, that's right, it's Fishmonger Fred, one of the more notorious vampires in Hull. His weapon of choice is a large, slimy fish, and he's not afraid to use it to intimidate those who cross his path. He wears a tattered apron and a pair of rubber boots, and his eyes seem to glow with an otherworldly light.

"Don't move a muscle," he growls, waving the fish menacingly. "Unless you want to end up like this poor sod." And with that, he gestures towards a nearby alleyway, where you can just make out a pair of glowing eyes in the darkness.

But before you have a chance to react, a voice rings out from the shadows. "Oi, what's all this then?"

And there she is: Chantelle, one of the toughest and mouthiest vampires in Hull. She's a chav at heart, with a thick Yorkshire accent and a wardrobe full of tracksuits. She steps out into the light, cracking her knuckles and glaring at Fishmonger Fred.

"You picked the wrong night to mess with us, mate," she says, her voice dripping with attitude. "We've got places to be and people to see, and we don't have time for your fish nonsense."

And with that, the battle is on. Fishmonger Fred swings his fish with wild abandon, but Chantelle is quick on her feet. She dodges and weaves, landing blows with her fists and her trusty pair of brass knuckles.

In the end, the players are safe, and Fishmonger Fred is left nursing a bruised ego and a fish that's seen better days. Chantelle flashes a cocky grin and brushes off her tracksuit.

"Welcome to Hull, lads," she says, gesturing towards the dark alleyways that stretch out before you. "It's a crazy place, but we wouldn't have it any other way."

As you look around, you notice that the city is filled with strange and unsettling sights. A group of vampires dressed as seagulls are squawking and flapping their wings; a pair of werewolves are engaged in a heated argument outside a kebab shop; and a gang of chavs are performing a bizarre dance routine to the Hull FC anthem.

"Follow me," Chantelle says, leading you through the winding streets and alleys of Hull. "I'll take you to our safehouse. We've got a bit of a situation on our hands."

As you make your way through the city, you can't help but feel that something is off. The air is thick with tension, and you can sense that danger lurks around every corner.

And then, just as you're starting to get used to the strange sights and sounds of Hull by Night, you hear a piercing scream. It's coming from a nearby alleyway, and it sounds like someone—or something—is in trouble.

Chantelle doesn't hesitate. She darts towards the sound, with the rest of you close on her heels. And what you find is even stranger than anything you've seen before.

There, in the centre of the alleyway, is a vampire dressed as a giant cod. He's being attacked by a group of angry seagull vampires, who are squawking and pecking at him with their wings and beaks.

Chantelle leaps into action, landing a powerful punch on one of the seagull vampires and sending it reeling backwards. The rest of you follow suit, brandishing whatever weapons you have at your disposal—traffic cones, a kebab skewer, even a rusty shopping trolley.

In the end, you emerge victorious. The seagull vampires are driven off, and the cod vampire lies on the ground, breathing heavily.

"Thanks, lads," he says, his voice muffled by the large fish head he's wearing. "I owe you one."

Oh, I'm absolutely thrilled that you're all enjoying Hull by Night so far! I can feel the excitement building in the air, and it's making me positively giddy!

Now, where were we? Ah, yes, you've just saved the cod vampire from the clutches of the seagull vampires. What do you want to do next?

Well, the possibilities are practically endless! Here are a few options to get you started:

1. Go on a tour of Hull's most notorious haunts - from the abandoned fish processing plant to the underground tunnels beneath the city, there are plenty of places to explore and secrets to uncover.
2. Investigate a string of disappearances that have been plaguing the city for weeks. Some say it's the work of a rogue vampire, while others suspect a group of werewolves are behind it. Either way, it's up to you to get to the bottom of things.
3. Attend a vampire rave at the local club, where you'll dance the night away with fellow Kindred and indulge in all sorts of blood-filled debauchery.
4. Join a street race through the city's winding backstreets, pitting your driving skills against the best of the local chavs.
5. Strike up a deal with the local street gang, who are known to be a powerful force in the city's underworld. Will you befriend them, or try to take them down from the inside?

So, what'll it be, dear players? The choice is yours, and I'm just bursting with excitement to see where this crazy adventure takes us next. And, to sweeten the pot a bit, I've even baked some special "blood pudding" cupcakes for you all to enjoy. Who's ready to sink their fangs into some delicious treats and dive into the madness of Hull by Night?