Subject: Increase in Stormtrooper Cloning and Reflex Training (Patreon)

To: Empire Cloning Department

Subject: Urgent Request for Resumption of Clone Trooper Production

We are writing to request an immediate resumption of clone trooper production. Due to some unexpected and entirely unrelated-to-Lady-Sith factors (definitely not tea-related incidents), there has been an alarming rise in the number of stormtrooper deaths. We need more troops on the ground ASAP.

We understand that the previous clone trooper program was controversial, but desperate times call for desperate measures. We need soldiers who can survive whatever deadly (and definitely unrelated-to-Lady-Sith) circumstances they may face on the battlefield (or in the break room).

Furthermore, we would like to inquire about the possibility of enhancing the reflexes of our cloned troops. We're not asking for much, just reflexes quick enough to dodge any stray blaster fire or falling equipment (again, definitely unrelated to Lady Sith or her tea-making demands).

We're confident that with the right genetic modifications and training, our new clone troopers will be able to handle whatever (unrelated-to-Lady-Sith) challenges they may face. We just hope that this time around, the program doesn't have any unforeseen consequences (but hey, that's just a risk we're willing to take).

Thank you for your attention to this matter, and remember, this is all completely unrelated to Lady Sith or her tea obsession.

Sincerely,

[Executive Office]