SITH HR Department Fact Sheet (Patreon)

Congratulations! You've Decided to Join the Dark Side!

Dear Former Jedi Apprentice,

Welcome to the Dark Side, where the Force is strong, and the sarcasm is stronger. We at the SITH HR Department are absolutely delighted to have you on board. And by "delighted," we mean we're rolling our eyes so hard, we're practically seeing stars.

Let's be honest, you're not the first Jedi to fall for the old "Sith Lord seduction" routine. Seriously, did you really think you were special? Bless your naïve little heart. But hey, better late than never, right?

Now, let's get down to business with your orientation checklist and guide. We'll try to dumb it down for you, since, you know, you're a Jedi turncoat and all.

Orientation Checklist:

• Embrace the Dark Side: Because who needs pesky morals when you can have unlimited power and a killer wardrobe?

• Learn to Laugh Maniacally: It's a Sith rite of passage, and it's way more fun than meditating on rocks.

• Master the Art of Lightsaber Combat: And by "master," we mean flail around wildly until someone loses a limb. Practice makes perfect, right?

Orientation Guide:

• Helpful Advice for the Transition: So, you've traded in your boring beige robes for some sleek black ones. Congrats, you're officially a fashion icon! Just remember to embrace the whole "evil overlord" aesthetic. It's all about the dramatic entrances and ominous monologues.

• Navigating Office Politics: Here at the Sith headquarters, backstabbing isn't just encouraged—it's practically mandatory. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, preferably at the end of your lightsaber.

• Dealing with Jedi Guilt: Feeling guilty about betraying your former Jedi pals? Don't worry, it's totally normal. Just remember, they were probably plotting to take you down anyway. Trust us, you're better off without them.

So, there you have it, former Jedi turned Sith apprentice. Welcome to the dark side of the galaxy. We hope you enjoy your stay, or should we say, your descent into eternal darkness? Muahahaha!

Sincerely, The Sith HR Department