[ANIMATION] MIS_ALT (Patreon)

Links upon links! Link to the REG version, and link to the ALT version. I'm just gonna fuckin' copy this whole body of text, since there'll be a few posts for this. There are a lot of versions, and the file size is quite voluptuous.

Special thanks to my anonymous friend, who is too much of a ninny to come out and claim his credit. He was the one who did all the neat post-processing on this one, to make it look like an old anime. He's done a few things now, like the 5-Volt video and the Hex Girls editing.

This one's finally done, son! And what good timing! Gainax is declaring bankruptcy! This animation is a good way to pull the Trigger on this series' departure into non-existence. A perfect sendoff. Or something.

Sorry it took so long. But, I'm trying to do everything right. I didn't really take any shitty shortcuts on this, like I normally do. It took a lot of time. I'll probably trim down some of the excess, going forward.

Look at those beer cans, in the background! I painted those! Those don't look half bad! I mean, maybe they do, but this is literally my second painting. I'm so puffed up and proud of myself.

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So, way earlier, I talked about how I don't care for Evangelion. And I still don't. I dunno, sometimes shows are just too real, too relatable. Not that I pilot a big cool purple robot, but a lot of what Shinji went through is too close to my own life. Horribly mentally ill? Check. No relationship with your father? Uh huh. Has a kinda cool job but can't be fucked to do it? Yup. Being told "Get inside your mother, or else angels will destroy the world!" Been there, done that. I grew up in a cult. Jacking off over your hospitalized friend? Guilty as charged. (Sorry, Azathoughtless). Groomed by your hot caretaker? Ye- well actually no on that one. Fucking bullshit. It's all too relatable, and I don't get any catharsis from watching it.

So, I thought that I would actually try to revise Evangelion, to make it fucking cool and badass. First and foremost, we fix Shinji. He's the main problem with this show. Instead of being a big whiny baby, he'll be like one of those cool anime characters that are all aloof. So like, in the mission briefings, they'll tell him to get in the robot, and he'll be all like, "Tch. Such a pain. Fine, I'm going. Just stop nagging at me." And he like, fucking vapes the whole time. And carves the cool 'S' into the tables.

He also would have sex with every female character in the show, except for Asuka because I thought she was annoying and cringe. So he'd be like, impregnating all the girls, and they'd be like "Oh~ Shinji~ what would your father say?~" and he'd be all "Whatever! I'm not scared of him! Now lemme slap your titties around!" And during the fights, he'd always go off alone, because everyone else just slows him down.

Yeah and like, his dad doesn't even bother him. His dad is all like,

"Er... Um... Shinji...? Son...? Could you maybe... if you're not too busy that is.... get in the Eva? And... also... maybe you could.... stop impregnating all the staff...?"

 "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME??"

 "Eep! N-nothing sir! I'm sorry!"

Hell yeah. Hideaki Anno, sorry about your animation company closing down. But like, drop me a line if you don't want Evangelion to suck anymore. You know, next time you remake it or whatever.

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That's all outta me. Next on the list is finishing that fucking crab gif. But, since this one was kind of an in-progress project, and that one's an in-progress project, meaning I pick up where I left off, I might do something brand new in between. Because shading this sucked, and I'd be shading that crab really soon. I'll think on it.

KYDE