[ANIMATION] SAT (Patreon)

Link is here, it's time to cheer.

This is Drew Saturday, I know that because I had it written down. But I also had to look it up to make sure. I almost called her Gwen. She's from an old(?) cartoon called The Secret Saturdays. And wouldn't you know it? I never watched it. In fact, I only ever had a dim awareness that this show existed. Until a few days ago. I actually expect that a lot of you will also not know what this is. Because this show is like, weirdly unpopular. I can hardly find anything about it online. Just some crappy wikis. But like, nobody talks about it. And that's weird, because it has three seasons, a movie, and a few games. What is it about? It's about a family of... I guess scientists? But they hunt cryptids or whatever. Or, preserve them. I don't know. As a young lad, I do remember flipping through the channels and seeing it briefly, and my takeaways were:

1) The show's got a kinda cool art style.

2) It's about a family. An orange family.

3) They live in a blimp.

4) The mom is hot.

5) They fuck around with cryptids.

Then I continued on my journey to the History channel, where I got all my true news from Ancient Aliens. I always just assumed they like, travel the world and rock sasquatch's shit or something.

I'm gonna get real weird, or at least, weirder than usual. Because I genuinely haven't thought about this show since I was a kid. But I like, woke up a few mornings ago in a daze and just thought, "I could do an animation with that hot mom from the Saturday show." And that thought, that weird unprompted thought, had me searching for what could have possibly set it off. The first possibility was that I just straight up saw something about the show on Reddit or something. But again, it's so unpopular that there's no way. I also had been looking at this fucking tier list maker thing, to help get an idea for simpler characters to potentially draw, called Female Cartoon Hotties. Which is a name, for sure. But seriously, check it out. Some of the options in there will likely make you say, "Dude, get help." There's an actual worm in that list, along with a skeleton, and a spider. But! No Drew Saturday. So I didn't get the idea from that. But I did get the idea to draw Jenny Wakeman from that list. Jenny's old ass mom is also on that list, which got me to say "Dude, get help."

Anyways, another potential was, I just saw fan art of her online. Maybe I found some and used it as reference. Except that's not likely, there's hardly any of her. Some of it is good, at least. All plausible possibilities were thrown out. Except, maybe one of you just told me to draw her, and I forgot. That could've happened. But nothing else plausible could be the case. So the implausible has to be considered. Maybe the unhealthy amount of caffeine I had the day before, mixed with the Diphenhydramine of the ZZZQuil I took to tranquilize myself, is actually a hip new way to get fucking high, and that opened my third eye and revealed this character to me. Or, perhaps the Muse herself put this idea in my head. Or maybe, one of you is using a Voodoo doll of me and willing me to animate this, instead of DMing me like a normal person. Any number of reasons.

Anyways, that's been bothering me, but who knows why? I got the idea, it weirded me out, I made it. I drew a chupacabra screwing her. Why? Because I was scared of the chupacabra to an embarrassing degree as a kid. Also bigfoot scared me too, but he lives in the Pacific Northwest, way far away from me. I am, however, more geographically close to Mexico. So there was a chance, not a good chance but a higher chance, that I could get attacked by one. This was before I learned that all of the cryptid stuff was bullshit and that the world isn't magical at all, it's mundane and dull. But, I still have a soft spot for the chupacupa, because of how fucking scared I was of it. Due to some trash I saw on the History Channel. I actually tried to make him look kinda creepy and disturbing, but I didn't do it right. He looks kinda like a fucking soyjak. I'm sorry, hombre. I let you down.

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I'd like to discuss what the hell the Secret Saturdays' deal is. Why isn't it popular? Why isn't it known? I dunno, I just find it so weird. It has a nice art style. From what I can tell, it's animated well. It's a globe-spanning adventure, which has a lot of potential for cool shit. It covers a topic most kids really like, which is mythical monsters. And to be shallow, the mom is pretty fucking hot. You have all these other action adventure cartoons, like Ben 10, and Kim Possible, and others I can't think of. Why was this one just... not automatically accepted in the ranks?

The most obvious potential reason is... that it's shit. Could be. But, it has a 7/10 rating on IMDB, which is similar to Ben 10's rating. It also had the aforementioned movie, and games. Plural. So it had to have been profitable. People were clearly engaged enough to buy all that shit.

A better potential reason is that it's just mediocre. Which is worse than being shit. See, the best way for a story to be remembered forever, is to either be great, or fucking awful. Mediocre stuff, or even decent stuff, gets forgotten so fast.

Another reason is my favorite. It's based on my own early perception of the show. What influenced me to completely ignore it. Maybe it's because, it doesn't matter how fun the adventures you go on are, it doesn't matter that you're going to go beat the shit out of sasquatch. It doesn't matter that you get to live in a blimp. It doesn't matter that your dad looks like a badass Bond villain. It doesn't matter that your mom is a total babe. It doesn't matter that both of them are cool secret scientists. It doesn't matter, because hanging out with your parents is kinda lame. 

I mean, think about it. Your target audience are preteens. That's the age where kids are starting to idealize independence. They don't want to hang out with their parents. Look at the other action adventure cartoons I just brought up. Kim Possible is like, a spy in secret, and her parents don't even know. At least I think that's the case. It's like a double life. In Ben 10, he does hang out with family, but it's his cousin and his grandpa. Not immediate family. From a writing standpoint, an immediate loving family is just not that interesting. If you're going to portray the family as tight-knit and functional, then the parents will unconditionally love the child. Same goes for the kid, they'd probably unconditionally love the parents as well. There's no room for the relationship between the characters to develop in interesting ways. It's like, already there, you know? That's why it's more interesting that Ben and Gwen are cousins. There is room for more of a relationship to develop. They're family, but not immediate family. I dunno about y'all, but I personally hardly ever see my cousins. I don't even like them. I definitely like my brother though. A story about me and my brother wouldn't be as interesting than a story about me and my cousin. The bond is already there with my brother. Nothing to develop.

And just like, imagine going on globe-spanning adventures with your goddamn mom and dad. They probably wouldn't let you do anything fucking cool. Exotic drugs? No way.

"Ah, thank you for saving our village from the Winnebago, please, accept my gift of this pound of ayahuasca."

"Ohhhh no! No ayahuasca for him! No, thank you though."

"Brave warrior, you have saved my people from the fucking whatever monster, please, take one of my daughters as your wife."

"Ohhhh no! No, my son doesn't need a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend at home. It's me. No, thank you though."

Parents are fucking lame.

I feel like that's probably it. Or the show is just shit. Lemme know if you actually watched it and liked it.

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This has become a really long post, so I'm gonna keep going with it. Feel free to stop reading and break my fucking heart. I'd like to further raise awareness of this dumb show by taking a look at some of the monsters, because I do genuinely like the art style. I found this article, here.

Let's look at how fucking scary these guys are.

 Oh shit! It's the fucking Lake Worth Monster! He's pretty scary. And look, he's showing his realistic drawing of Bert and Ernie. Oohh, I'm shivering. Lake Worth is actually pretty close to me, and this is the first time I'm hearing about this guy. The broad chest, sturdy shoulders, and intense gaze is kinda making me feel things, though.

 Oh fuck! It's The Booger! Oh man, I need to stop shitting myself right now. He's just too scary.

 Oh god, it's the Beat-KYDE-to-the-punch monster!

 Hey, this guy's actually kinda cool. He'd make a decent Warhammer figure.Though, Kinchafoonie is hard to say, and calling him a creep is just rude.

 Haha, I love this guy. Look at his little face. Look at how gentle yet firm he's restraining Dad Saturday. He's like, "Hey. Stop. You're being really aggressive right now. You need to calm down." And his name is the Fouke Monster. I Fouking really like him. What's he actually supposed to look like?

 Oh. Okay. Well that's awful. I don't like him anymore.

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Alright, I'm done now. I could actually talk about the animation really quick. This was another "I think I can do it fast" one, but it was 22 hours. I still think it turned out pretty well. I'm actually really happy with the motion of it. I think it moves well. Especially comparing it to Nemona from two months ago, which is similar in posing and subject. I don't think I rendered it as well, no shading, the background is a bit shit, but I think it's probably one of the better animated animations I've done. I'll keep trying that, then. I'll keep trying to make them actually move better.

Speaking of "I think I can do it fast," I actually want to go through all the suggestions you guys gave me, and see which characters I think I could do fast. I'm sure I could get some of those characters really whipped out. But, I do want to do a better job making these look finished. I'm not happy with how Nemona moves anymore, but I still think it's one of the prettier ones I've done. I'd like to do all of the above, I'd like to do them quick, I'd like to have them move well, and I'd like to have them be pretty. Who knows, maybe I can do it?

Alright, back to Misato. I'll get that one done hopefully before the voting concludes. I'm gonna end the post right here, the Fouke Monster is still staring at me as I type this, and I really hate it.

Yer pal,

KYDE