Sheltered CH50 - When it Rains, it Pours (Patreon)

Apologies, but in related news, it would appear that Wednesday is the new Monday... Enjoy!
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50 - When it Rains, it Pours

“So no naps? None? Nada?” The voice was muffled, but that’s only because her consciousness was still fading into place.

“If she had it her way then bed time would be up for debate too,” a very familiar voice chuckled right beside her ear, sounding like her head slowly shook helplessly. “Don’t ever try bribing her, though. The only thing she should be expecting for misbehaving are consequences, not rewards. That’s just for baby days, though!”

“So this isn’t full-time, then?” The world was black, but Emily’s ears were working. She was awake but her eyes were closed. All she was doing was listening.

“No, not really. We’re still partners. We just…tend to do this a lot. Unless there's a safe word, from sunrise till sunset diapers stay on from the moment we both agree to them.” A gentle hand was stroking the girl’s back and she was in sensual heaven. If only this could last forever…!

“Wait, so…” Amy’s voice went quiet. “Does she ever get upset?”

“Upset? Oh! You mean like a temper tantrum?”

“If that’s what we’re calling it,” Amy giggled, “sure?”

Suddenly this wasn’t so fun to listen to anymore…

“Mmm…I wouldn’t quite say that just yet. But again, if she was ever really mad or upset, she’d handle that in a way you’d understand. And wait, actually– Mm…yeah, nope, never mind. We’ve definitely dealt with a few tantrums before! Like this one time, Emily had to go to the dent–”

“--It wasn’t a tantrum!” Emily erupted from the couch. Her upper half shot upright with a displeased look

There she was, supposedly Emily’s most favorite person in the world, squatting right by her side where she was supposed to be waking her up from a nap. Not telling stories about her!

“Is this gonna be one too?” Joyce was all grins and laughs, and even Amy from slightly afar was smirking as well.

Love is a weird thing, because despite the backstabbing behavior Emily was already hanging her upper half around Joyce in a tight hug.

“I missed you so much!” Joyce put to words what Emily channeled through feeling.

“Were you talking about me?” Emily mumbled into her shoulder.

“You could have stopped it,” Joyce squeezed her arm. “I know what a munchkin pretending to sleep looks like…”

She knew?! Emily blinked, certainly caught and had, but she hugged Joyce anyway.

“I missed you…” Emily whispered sheepishly.

“And I missed you even more,” Joyce said as she stood and slid Emily back on the couch, sitting right beside her.

“Did you just get here?” Emily with a blanket still over her lap slid right against her girlfriend.

“About fifteen minutes ago, I think.”

“And you didn’t wake me up?”

“Just because I show up, that doesn’t excuse you from your naps,” Joyce openly disapproved, and somehow the line between equals and submissive and dominant were back to being blurred.

“I wasn’t taking a nap!” Emily tried for a rebuttal, but there wasn’t a single face in the room that looked even remotely inside her camp. “I– I was just sleeping for a second!”

And as she laughed, Joyce grabbed her by the shoulders and smothered the top of her head with a loud kiss.

“Want something to drink?” Joyce asked, and Emily simply nodded. “Okay. Amy said you should still have some juice left, so let’s get that.”

The couple rose to their feet, but the moment they stood and the blanket fell, Emily had half a second to process the consequences and grabbed her shroud in a hurry.

Joyce turned and tilted her head while Amy walked ahead to the kitchen, but it didn’t make their oncoming exchange any more private.

“What,” Joyce chuckled, “did you suddenly get chilly?”

“N-no, I…” Crap! Use that as an excuse, dummy! Too late now. “It’s…soft…is all.”

“Well you can get cozy with me by the counter. Let’s not drag Amy’s blankets all over the floor.” And just to force the issue a little bit more, “Besides, I don’t want you spilling anything on her stuff either.”

“It’d come out in the wash~!” Amy offered from afar, but Emily’s ray of hope was nothing more than a flash in the pan.

“Not the point!” Joyce said right back. “Emily’s spilled something once on our couch already!”

“That was one time!” Emily butt her own voice in, especially upset to have that stain on her record be used against her for the umpteenth time. How could Joyce get to keep re-using that?! Wasn’t there supposed to be an expiration date on crimes, or something? But the mini debate was effectively over and the result was clear, but Emily’s hands still hung on the edge of the blanket, still yet to follow the victor’s orders.

“Emily? Put the blanket back, please.”

“But…” she looked over Joyce’s shoulder and could see Amy pouring her thermos into a cup.  Her worries showed on her face and her body language beckoned for Joyce to come forward. So she did with a smile and leaned in her ear for a whisper.

“I…I’m wearing one and I don’t want Amy to see…!”

Joyce pulled her ear and head away, just so her charge could see the sheer look of disbelief on her face.

“You don’t want her to see?” Joyce asked a little bit louder than Emily would have liked, but she slowly nodded. “You really are too much for your own good, you know that? C’mon, gimme a hug~!”

It was a little awkward making the maneuver, but Emily was soon embraced by her partner as they had their arms around each other. The blanket was hands-free, pinned by their legs pressing on either side. But alas, the mutual standing was lost as hands suddenly appeared underneath Emily’s thighs and her feet left the floor.

“J-Joyce!” Emily gasped as she already leaned out for the discarded cover on the ground, but it was far out of reach now.

“Why do you always get so hung up over the silliest things?” Joyce playfully scolded, but once her fingers brushed against the leg bands of what she had yet to fully see, she turned her head out. “And what kind of diaper did…!” Amy’s head turned once Joyce made the noise, and Emily immediately ducked for cover by hiding in her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“Amy! What is this?!”

Emily had her eyes shut, desperate to run off to dreamland again, but she felt them turn and move towards the kitchen, all the while her padded bottom was advertised like some broadside billboard.

“One of my newest creations!” Amy smugly grinned.

“Is…is it a disposable?” Joyce couldn’t hide the curiosity, but she wished her arms weren’t full just so she could touch, test, and admire the foreign trinket.

“Sorry, but my skills are with cloth, not plastics,” Amy shrugged. “It’s a cloth diaper I put together.”

“Joyce…please…!” Emily begged with a mumble, but all she got were kisses and squeezes.

“How long are you gonna hold her? Girl’s gotta drink, you know,” Amy said expectantly, and suddenly Emily was losing her last bit of cover.

“W-wait! No! I-I wanna…!” The words were hard to find when even she didn’t know what she herself wanted. Yes, sure, Amy put her in the diaper she was wearing, meaning obviously she had seen her in it, but did the two adults in the room have absolutely zero concept of just what a nap could do to a person? Yes, it recharged her energy and emotions, which is exactly why she had it in herself to be embarrassed all over again!

She flinched when a hand dropped on her shoulder, and it was Amy chatting casually, “Y’know, Em, at least with cloth diapers you can accessorize.” She then made a pointed look at Joyce, taunting in a sing-song voice. “Disposables don’t really offer much for color combos…!”

“This is nice…” Joyce admitted, rubbing her baby’s shoulder as she lightly tapped the bright snap-buttons. “But I like disposables too much. Won’t these get stuffy in the summer or when it’s hot?” While it may have included Emily, the way Joyce literally said it right over her head seemed to imply that it didn’t.

“More than likely, but it doesn’t have to be a 24/7 thing– or a thing at all. I made it for fun! Isn’t that what you’re paying me to do? And you,” Amy suddenly grabbed Emily and tugged her away. She turned and swiped something off the counter and shoved it in Emily’s hands. “Have something to drink.”

“Uhm…thanks…” Emily awkwardly moved into a seat, and Joyce was watching with a frown above her folded arms.

“It doesn’t make noise,” she accused Amy.

“That’s because it’s mainly cloth. There’s a water-proof cover though, so yes it does.”

“Then that’s why disposables are better.”

“Do you want her bum to stick out like a sore thumb?”

Are they arguing…? In spite of being flung into the spotlight, somehow the thing around her waist had become the focus. Nevertheless, it sort of felt like she was spared, so the shy girl resigned herself to her glass of juice.

“That’s what makes it so cute, doesn’t it? I like the look of her diapers now. It’s…you wouldn’t get it.”

“Wouldn’t get it, or are you just having a hard time explaining it?” Amy raised her brow.

“Yes. Both,” Joyce scoffed. “It’s like…like– no matter what she wears or does, her diapers are non-negotiable, you know? I like designing around Emily’s look, and her diapers are baked into that. If you’re making the necessities a fashion point, it…”

“Feels less genuine?” Amy shrugged with her mouth.

“Yes!” Joyce exclaimed with a smile, but quickly tightened up her expression. “B-but…that doesn’t mean we can’t use diapers like that… I’d just prefer to stay in disposables.”

Amy let out a great sigh with her face hiding behind her hand.

“You know, I feel like if nothing else, today’s opened a door for me to see just how particular you are about these things…” The seamstress strolled around the counter for her mug. Emily, who was trying to stay small, was suddenly asked by her, “You really deal with this 24/7?”

“Excuse me?” Joyce edged her tone, Amy laughed, and Emily was left unsure.

“What? Am I not allowed to get her opinion?” the woman defensively held up her hands.

“Yes, you are, but don’t badmouth me in the process!” Joyce sounded in a voice of disbelief.

Maybe getting up from my nap was a bad idea… Emily had herself another quiet sip.

“Or in other words: a moot point…” Amy mumbled, and Joyce arched in annoyance just a few degrees more.

“Just because Emily let you in, don’t think that gives you a pass with me…!” Joyce warned, and Amy pretended to be the fearful fiend.

“J…Joyce…!” Emily started to speak up, but the supposed flames were raging just a little too hard.

“Joyce, sounds like you’re having a temper tantrum,” Amy laughed innocently, “maybe you need a nap, huh?”

“And maybe you need a timeout!”

“A…Amy…!” Emily tried for the other end of the stick, but neither one was budging.

“If you’re just gonna argue with me,” Joyce went on, “Maybe I’ll just find someone else to make Emily’s clothes!”

“Oh yeah?” Amy rolled her eyes. “And who’s gonna do them as cute as I can?”

“St-stop!” Emily raised her voice one final time, and it was finally enough for both women to notice her outburst. The actors on stage turned their heads to the audience, where Emily on her stool gave them both a discomforted look. “Stop fighting…!” she insisted with her hands wrapped anxiously around her glass.

Both Amy and Joyce were quiet. Their long lashes fluttered as their mouths barely budged, sharing a neutral look with one another, possibly erring on confusion. But one sputter was all it took before both were laughing.

“Sorry!” Amy giggled, “I think we got a little carried away…!”

“I haven’t had to be stern with Emily in a bit, so it was kind of a fun chance…” Joyce scratched the side of her cheek with a sheepish grin.

“W-wait, were you not fighting?” Emily stuttered, only realizing now just how much of a big misunderstanding there was.

“Sorry if it looked like that,” Joyce came around just to hug her partner. “More like some aggressive teasing.”

“Sounds like you had some things you wanted to get off your chest for real?” Amy delivered another dig at the woman who took it in stride.

“And thanks for helping me burn off a little steam,” Joyce declared, looking oddly proud of herself, for some reason; like all she had left for Emily now were cuddles and kisses.

“Sorry, Em, we weren’t fighting for real,” Amy explained, “just a little back-and-forth.”

“O-oh…” Emily puffed aloud, then went back to her drink. Yet another misunderstanding…

“But once you finish your juice we’re gonna get ready to go home,” Joyce announced, right as Ashes silently leapt onto the empty seat beside them. “Looks like somebody also just finished their cat-nap, huh?” And with just about as much favoritism as he had for Emily, Joyce’s affectionate pets were received by the cat no less pleasingly.

“Oh, let me go get her stuff downstairs,” Amy said as she departed, and Emily went to follow. But Joyce slipped her back on the seat just as she started to leave.

“Ah-ah! Juice first, then you can get down,” Joyce instructed as she brought the cup herself to Emily’s lips.

“But I…” she paused to sip and swallow, “-I need to help Amy. It was my job to clean her space down there today. I’m still on the clock.”

“Sweetheart,” Joyce smiled helplessly, “I think you went off the clock the moment you started your nap. Amy can handle it. Right now I just need all that juice in your tummy.”

“Yeah, but…” she was still turning her head where she felt the need to go, but Joyce was suddenly in the way. It was obviously one of those moments where she was being forced to grow down, but the place was the problem. Was Joyce really trying to mommy her here? In Amy’s home?

“So’d you have a good lunch today?” Joyce asked, moving the girl’s headspace along to other places.

“Yeah…” she said distantly at first, “Yeah,” she said more resolutely. “Why’d you have to write my name like that, though…? Amy saw!”

“Don’t give me that tone!” Joyce laughed, “It’s not like I wanted her to see either! Bet it makes you want a lunch box now, huh?”

“No, it’d still be just as embarrassing!” Emily complained, practically throwing her upper half out of the seat. And yet despite being so dangerous and reckless, of course Joyce was right there to handle her by the hands.

“You really are squirmy in a seat. Should we get Amy a high chair for her to use with you?”

“No! Stop!” Emily complained, per se, all the while giggling. But the laughter died quickly as she went quiet. Joyce tilted her head curiously, but her smile came fast.

“Emily, you’re in one. It’s okay; go.”

Sixth senses were scary, and the fact that Emily couldn’t tell what she possibly could have done to signal her need to pee, and yet somehow Joyce still finding out was like a moment of horror itself.

There was no denial, and there was no direct admission. Joyce looked down at the top of her head expectantly, and slowly Emily leaned against her girlfriend, her mommy, starting to grab at her blouse.

“But…why here?”

“Because it’s the same rules anywhere,” Joyce softly said. “You’re in a diaper, Emily. Cloth or disposable, they’re for the same thing.”

Wet a diaper? In Amy’s house. Gross. Weird. Uncomfortable.

“Hey…remember the first time we came here together?” Joyce sweetly reminisced. “After Amy took your measurements you came up here to hang out while Amy and I ironed out the details about some of your first outfits. You were wearing a diaper then, too. Remember?” Joyce certainly did. Those flimsy, no-good boring adult diapers…

“Mm…” Emily nodded against her shirt, feeling the same kind of heat in her cheeks now that she remembered from that day. She needed to pee then just like she did now, diapered all the same. The rhythm was still vague and the experience was somehow even fresher and rawer than what she was going through now. Her debate to disobey or do as she was told ended right in front of the toilet, and ultimately on the floor where her wet bottom sat until they found her.

It was just another one of those moments. She didn’t have the words, but she had all the feelings and mannerisms that wanted nothing more than something to hold on to. Joyce was warm and something to hide in. Something she could breathe easy with just to ride out the storm.

Just until she found the courage, the strength, and the will to…

“Get it all out?” Mommy’s voice was soft as she patted her little girl’s head. Emily tried not to make any noise, but she exhaled ever so slightly, trying her best to go completely mute.

“Mm…mhm…” she muttered with a smothered face.

Wetting wasn’t exactly a new thing for her anymore, but doing it in stressful situations was. She just… “closed up,” for lack of a better explanation. It was as if her “big girl” parts remembered how to function and the adult side of her still wanted to run the show. Giving up control was hard and never easy, and yet the sweet, wonderful feeling she felt once she did…

Cloth was different, however. There wasn’t as much of a swell, and the wet feeling was far more prominent. It did just disappear like her usual diapers made it. After all, she could have tied a sweatshirt around her waist and between her legs and it would have felt the same, more than likely. Warm and wet, but somehow not leaking. Maybe that waterproof layer or whatever really did work.

Amy…really is good at this…

“Does it feel different?” Joyce asked quietly.

“Yeah…” Emily mumbled back.

“Better, though?”

If Joyce wasn’t watching, she could have felt the girl shaking her head against her front instead.

In a meek voice she admitted, “I like the other ones better…”

“See?” Joyce chuckled. “You’re gonna have to tell Amy that! If anyone, she has to listen to you.”

And let her know that she just reviewed her diaper in real time? The girl shuddered but Joyce held her steady with another laugh. “Okay, fine, we’ll tell her later. Just don’t hope she asks to take that back before we leave…”

“Joyce!” Emily cried before she bit her lip, and her guardian only giggled more with another hug.

“Don’t worry…! We’ll just say we need to confiscate it for…mmm…more extensive testing. How about that?” Though, where Joyce was short for excuses was on what exactly such “extensive testing” might be. As useful as diapers were, their uses were not many.

A cutie like you only needs them for two related reasons… Joyce looked pitiful, but only for a moment. She turned her head as Amy came back in.

“Did you want a bag for her clothes?” Amy came in with the girl’s folded lower half. “Oo- Sorry, I think I forgot something downstairs…”

“It’s okay, Amy,” Joyce nodded her back in. “I just wanted to give Emily a hug. I’ve been needing this all day!”

“Well start with that!” Amy huffed with a rising chest and falling set of clothes. “I thought Emily needed privacy.”

“And what, I don’t?” Joyce took on an offended look.

“Emily is my guest. You’re just the chauffeur,” she shrugged with disinterest, and all for Emily’s sake, Joyce continued to play her part.

“Is that so? Well, I guess I better start acting like one and drive my little miss out of here.”

Once Emily was on her feet she was covering her front as best as she could. Her feet were uneven as they fidgeted back and forth, but she did keep looking between Joyce and the counter.

“Pants?” Joyce read her mind. Emily nodded. “Had I known this was gonna happen, something other than jeans probably would have made more sense…” she bit her lip as she imagined the slim pants somehow trying to fit over a bulky diaper. Either way, that didn’t stop her from trying to feed the jeans up Emily’s legs.

“It feels tight…” Emily made an awkward, uncomfortable comment as the waist tightened around her own. The way it stretched and strived to conform to her added mass, it seemed she was pushing her pants to a dangerous limit.

“We’ll undo it once we get in the car,” Joyce decided. “It’s just a quick walk down the sidewalk.” The last thing there was which she could easily pocket enough was her panties. Yet another pair put on an early vacation from their big-girl duties.

“So, Em, think you can live working with me another day?”Amy rose to her feet with her cat bundled against her. “Oh! Right, your pay!” She was gone and back in time to fill the space her after-image had left. With a small set of bills in hand she thumbed through them. “One…two…three…six. That’s good for now, I’d say.”

Emily accepted the bills, but she was still in silent surprise.

“Th-this much…?” Emily muttered. “B-but I didn’t really do–”

“Be a good girl and take my money!” Amy stepped forward just to force her fingers around the money. “Better yet,” she then undid the gesture and swiped the money back, handing it over to Joyce. “Make sure she keeps it?”

“But I–” Emily tried to say, but failed.

“-I will see you soon, is what I hope I’m hearing?” Amy interrupted with a smile. “I kept track of your hours, Em. You earned it, so don’t argue with your boss! And if it hasn’t already, it’s gonna be raining soon. Go home before you guys get caught in rainy traffic!”

“The traffic part seems unavoidable at this point…” Joyce sighed as she kept the tempo and surprised Emily by draping a jacket over her shoulders. “Amy’s right, little monkey; let’s hop to it!”

Joyce made for the door, but Emily lagged behind. She walked, but then she crawled, and finally inched to a stop.

“...Amy?”

“Forget something?”

“No, I…” she fell flat on her own words. The things that she and Joyce were doing to her. Doing for her. Joyce knew exactly how much Emily appreciated it, because she had been thanked time and time again, and by now even Emily was starting to understand the weird and wondrous ways she could show gratitude to Joyce. Both women today had made themselves into distractions just to keep the girl in diapers sane.

All thanks to Joyce, Emily’s worldview had been turned upside down and branching down paths that felt like the farthest things from reality. Her girlfriend, her lover, and her mommy. They connected in so many ways, and today, Emily got a glimpse of someone else that could channel those similar feelings. But it wasn’t a replacement or a substitution. An extension? It wasn’t the time or place to confront any of that though, because like everything in the beginning it was all just a fuzzy haze. It had yet to take shape or become any clearer, but all she needed to know was that the feeling was pleasant.

“Thank…thank you for today. For…” her mouth made a difficult noise as her face started to contort. The words were in her head, but even then they were evaporating before they could reach the tongue. “Th-thank you for today! A-al…all of it. For all of it…!” she couldn’t even look her in the eye, and once she finished she immediately made for the exit, nearly rushing face-first into the door Joyce still had yet to open.

She didn’t turn back and scurried down the stairs, but Amy was standing back with a difficult expression. And Joyce, hanging by the doorway still, smiled with a sigh and held up her hand.

With just a thumb pointed to the ceiling, Amy felt the infectious feeling part her lips just to show her teeth.

The mutual excitement was brief, however, because a new shock overtook the mommy.

“Wait! Emily!” Joyce called, “We still need to get your shoes on! Do not get your socks wet!” And right before she gave chase she turned around one last time. “Amy, we’ll be in touch, okay? And as for the diaper, thanks for that too. Emily needs to uhm, well…” she looked the other way again, like time was of the essence. Fidgety little adult girls had a tendency of getting into naughty things without constant supervision, after all… “-Forget it. She wet it already and I need to wash it before giving it back. Gotta go! Bye!”

Amy offered a small wave with a helpless laugh, but there was no one to receive it. While she could have seen them out, given Emily’s brave little gesture and her desperation to get away, maybe it’d be better to leave it like this. For once it wasn’t back to her workshop immediately. Instead, she strolled over to the couch, joined by her cat where she hummed softly.

“Auntie…”

Would she really agree…?

----------------------------------

“I was gonna wait for you,” Emily pouted in the passenger seat. They sat bumper-to-bumper under the downpour bouncing off the hood and roof of their and everyone else’s cars.

“And yet lately with how mischievous you’ve been, I can’t help but feel the need to be extra cautious…” Joyce sighed, but smiled. “Busy day for you?”

“Mm…” Emily nodded simply. “You too?”

“A little,” Joyce twisted her words, “but nothing I couldn’t handle. I think the biggest parts were when you called me, you know?”

“Sorry about that…”

“Stop. Apologizing!” Joyce nudged her shoulder each time. “Do I need to somehow hypnotize the guilt out of you?!”

“I’m not…! I will…!” Emily giggled. “I just…I dunno. I feel weird for doing all this… You said it was okay, but…I guess I kind of started it.”

“And thank you for doing that,” Joyce chuckled with her eyes in front of her, and Emily blinked.

“...Really?”

“Really,” the driver nodded. “I’ve kind of talked about it with you before, but it was more like daydreaming, I guess… It’s hard. I never said I was serious, but I never said that some little part of me didn’t like the idea, either… It’s not realistic, and involving someone else in any real kind of way makes me nervous, so I didn’t ever want to really ask you about it.” And yet she technically did. “It wasn’t exactly what you asked for today, but I figured I’d try and push the envelope a little more… You were really okay with that?”

“I mean…you gave me a chance to refuse…” Emily shifted in her seat, watching the rain roll down the window beside her. In not so direct words, Emily had the chance to stop all of it, “But I didn’t. I was scared.”

“Does…does this have to do with you thinking you cheated?”

“...Kind of…” Emily sulked with a mumble.

“Emily, it wasn’t cheating, I promise.”

“Then it was scary.”

“Scary…? How?”

“Because… I-I…I liked it,” she whimpered sorely. “I was scared because I didn’t know how to feel. It was weird because it wasn’t with you. You’re…you’re why I like this, Joyce. You’re…urgh, you’re my mommy!” and as serious as she was being, Joyce still couldn’t help but flutter from the tickle in her chest. “I love you…! I love you so much! A-and when I felt things…good things with another person…I-I thought…wh-what if I could be this way with someone else…?” her voice cracked, and the tears had them both taken aback.

“Emily…sweetheart…”

“And I don’t know why I feel like this…! I know how I feel…! I like Amy, but I love you! So…so it’s okay…but…I don’t like it! I liked it being us…just us…” But her body wasn’t listening. The scope was larger and her horizons stretched farther than she thought. The ‘R’ word frightened her the most.

Replace.

It was unthinkable, but her mind was trained to go to bad places in the midst of an emotional crisis. Joyce could be replaced. Of course she couldn’t, but Emily’s feelings for being babied weren’t exclusive anymore…

Emily sniffled and hiccupped, wiping her tears, but Joyce wore a somber smile, briefly glancing to her right. “...Emily, could I be a little selfish for a second…?”

“Wh-what…?”

“I know the way you say it makes things seem scary. You’re worried because it seems like you can be a little girl for anyone, right? Emmy, baby, no matter what, I’m not going anywhere, okay? Nowhere that doesn’t include you.” Her hand quietly ran along the steering wheel. “I say this a lot, but I feel like I sort of have to preface this all over again. Emily, you’re your own person. No matter what I want from you, that’s all second to what you want. Being a big or little girl is one of those things. I’ll go as far as you let me, but you’re the one that always has full control.”

“But I like–!”

“--But that being said,” Joyce took back the lead with a smile, “I daydream a lot. I imagine all the ways that things can progress or change… If things were to stay as they were now until the end of time, I’d be the happiest person in the world. You’ve already given me more than I ever thought I could ever possibly have, Emily. Every day we make any kind of progress, or just sink a little bit deeper…that’s all a bonus. Today for me was…a chance to let you be little, even when I wasn’t there. I don’t think it’s ever something I can really explain,” she chuckled sheepishly, “but in a selfish world, feeling like a mommy as much as I can makes me so happy…” A starry-eyed, dreamy look swept across her face as a land beyond reality stood far beyond the wet windshield.

“Emily, the moment I knew that you liked being babied, I’ve wanted nothing more than to encourage that feeling and let it grow. I’m glad you feel like there’s someone else that you’re okay being little around. I know it’s going to sound silly, but…I don’t feel as nervous or jealous when I think about it like that…”

W-were her ears working? Emily finished drying her red eyes as she stuttered aloud, “C-come…come again?” Joyce? Not jealous?

“Oh come on…!” Joyce moaned defensively, finally looking embarrassed herself. The fact how absurd she sounded was mutually recognized, and the dominant blushing herself made that clear. “Yes! I was not jealous for once…! I mean, I was…” she sighed, “but jealous about babying you is different. I specifically left you with Amy, and I’m the one who gave her permission. Unlike sharing my big girl, sharing my little one just feels…nice, in a way. I can go to work and you get to be with someone that understands you and lets you be yourself. So it’s not cheating, Emily. It’s the farthest thing from it. Kids get a lot of love from a lot of people, don’t they? They have aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, grandparents and cousins, all on top of a daddy and mommy. Believe me, no one’s ever gonna love you as much as I do, but I kind of like letting in others when it comes to being a little girl.”

“So…you want me to be little around other people?”

“I want what you want,” Joyce pivoted her point, “but it sort of sounds like you answered half the question for yourself today. If it’s safe, and it’s another way to bring out the little girl in you…I really do like the idea of expanding our circle. I’ll love you whether it’s a big girl day or a little one, but the more I can let you be the latter, the happier I am for letting you be what’s so much a part of our relationship… But it’s not everything; it doesn’t have to be. It makes me more happy than you can imagine how protective you are of what we have, but it’s not something you need to keep from other people? No one else is going to be your mommy, and no one else will try to be. Being a caregiver doesn’t mean having a new mommy, so please don’t be afraid to let yourself be little…okay?”

Being little was all about downsizing issues and giving up responsibility. By now, Emily understood enough to know that it was meant to help her be carefree and embrace the simplicities, however that might be. And yet it couldn’t have felt any more complicated… But again, Joyce was trying to sort all her messes for her, and it did make sense.

“What…what happens if I’m okay with it?” Saying it was far easier than doing. She still could hardly imagine it, but all that needed to be said was.

“Then we do as we always do. We try things, take it nice and slow, find out what works, what doesn’t, and have lots of fun the whole time!” She shrugged, truly making it seem as simple as that. “I don’t want to change how we’ve been handling things, and I promise I to keep my surprises safe, hence why we’re gonna continue to talk about bigger stuff like this. Sound good?”

“Mm…” Emily nodded, back to her quiet, pensive self, and yet all felt right in the world again.

“Now…” Joyce couldn’t help but grin, and the umpteenth red light was the perfect excuse to look right at Emily, “are you ready for the part that I think you might like?”

“...What?” she asked in a tiny voice.

“I know you were nervous, but you did like today, right?”

Was it a second test she was somehow supposed to expect? Was there a right answer?

“I said it’s okay, didn’t I? Be honest!” Joyce laughed. The second-guessing was written all over her face, and Joyce had no problem calling it out.

“I…did.” But was she even allowed to say that? Did Amy have fun? She…she talked to her about a lot of things, but that was just what friends did. Or maybe she was doing it for Joyce’s sake. Amy didn’t care…or did she? She was into the clothes, wasn’t she? Did she even need to be thinking about the way someone else felt?

“Well, I talked a little with Amy while you were asleep,” and like always, so much seemed to happen while Emily was sleeping… “What would you say if she wanted to have you over again?”

“Yeah…? She asked me that earlier?” Emily sounded unsure. Was she missing something?

“I know you’re still gonna help with her projects, but Amy meant more of what the second half of today was like.”

The second half…? The second… The…

“L…like with the…”

“Only if you’re okay with it, but I guess someone else thinks you’re just as cute in a diaper as I do?” Joyce chuckled, and Emily was feeling hot all over again. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re really that surprised? Awh! Is that a smile I see…?”

“Shut up!” Emily lashed out, but Joyce only giggled more.

“I’m even more surprised, you know! She said she wasn’t fully sure, but she did know that she wanted to try being a caregiver again.”

“And you’re really okay with that…? What…what if she does things differently, though?”

“Well, I’d hope she’d feel a little different from me,” Joyce playfully pondered with a finger on her chin. “I’m not trying to be replaced, you know?”

“I-I didn’t mean it like that…!”

“I know you didn’t!” Joyce laughed. “Let’s call it a dry run? Or like…a babysitter in training?”

“She…she really said that?”

“No, not exactly, but she did say some funny things.” Auntie Amy…!

“I…I don’t know…”

“I don’t want you lying to yourself if you think you’re trying to protect me. Emily, I repeat: this is not cheating. Be comfortable with this, okay? If you’re willing to try, I want you to have fun with this!”

“But how would it work? A-am I supposed to stay over…?”

“Absolutely not!” Joyce frowned. “Do you know how expensive overnight babysitters are?” Emily could already hear the syrup and sugar in her voice. “Just thinking about my little girl having a nightmare when I’m not there…!”

“Okay, okay…! You made your point!” Emily shoved her shoulder just to get the teasing to stop.

“Hey, not when I’m driving!”

“Then stop talking like that!”

“I will do no such thing! One more shove and it’s riding in the back seat for the rest of the week for you! More importantly, I need to know! Amy’s gonna watch you next time. Yes, or no?”

How could she just ask like that?! Especially after just teasing her? Joyce always got her way and it was not fair! Now Emily couldn’t even look out for her partner? She got a talking-to for being cautious of her girlfriend’s jealousy that miraculously evaporated the moment Emily had a diaper on?!

“Well?” Joyce smirked, and Emily’s frown was quivering.

“Y…yes! Fine! Yes I’ll do it!”

“Great! Amy will be very happy to hear that. I guess I’ll need to get some things ready for her to have, then…!”

“What?” What things? “W-well…does she really need stuff?”

“Well, Em, she needs more at her place to take care of you… I don’t mean a second nursery, or anything, but she’ll need a changing pad for you. A couple bottles, one of your pacis…” And like that her voice was drifting to a point where it wasn’t about explaining anything to Emily. Just a wistful mommy making a mental note of all the things she needed to do. Then she gasped. “Wait! I can get a diaper bag! Or…wait…maybe Amy should make it…” she frowned, and suddenly her plans felt less flashy when the person she wanted to surprise was suddenly in on the plans.

And Emily, despite having let Amy through the pearly gates, somehow made more of a monster out of Joyce. She shuffled in her seat, reminding herself of the oppressive wet cloth around her hips.

But maybe…she could make a request herself. “Is…is she at least gonna have the other diapers…?”

“Your disposables? Of course,” and Joyce patted her leg. “I’ll call Amy later tonight” Would it make sense to have a case delivered to Amy’s…?

And on their drive home Joyce’s phone started to ring.

“Did you forget something at Amy’s?” Joyce asked as she blindly reached for her phone.

“No, I don’t think so…”

“Hello? Amy?” Joyce answered.

“Amy? Joyce, don’t tell me you moved on…!” An all too familiar voice flooded the other end with worry. “How could you…?!”

Emily leaned out just a little bit to see the shift from pleasant surprise to ‘oh, a surprise’ awfully quick. Only until Joyce responded did it make sense.

“Hello to you too, Mom!”

“Did you and Emily break up? Your dad and I really liked her…!”

“No, Mom, we did not break up. I just thought you were someone else. Emily’s in the car with me right now.”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Mary sighed with relief, but she pivoted her attitude just as well, if not better than her daughter could. “Why would you go scaring me like that? Did my name not show up for you? Is your caller ID working?”

“Yes, Mom, it is, but I have my eyes on the road…! If I was looking at my phone instead of the road, you’d have neither a daughter nor her girlfriend to see this Thanksgiving!”

“Joyce…!” Emily hissed in a shocked whisper. Her partner only gave her eyes that could communicate her disinterest in playing nice with her own mother.

“Don’t be so morbid!” Mary chastised, and whatever grim sense Emily had felt, clearly it wasn’t of much effect on the head matron of the Summer’s family. “Is this a bad time right now? I was doing a wellbeing check!”

“I am well, and so is Emily,” and Joyce turned the phone out into the open.

“H-hi, Mary…!” Emily shouted into the phone.

“Hiii, Emily!” Mary’s voice traveled back with a slight digital gargle.

“See? We’re doing well,” Joyce had the phone back on her ear, and mother and daughter by blood sounded far calmer now.

“I can tell! Your dad is out with some of his friends today, but we were starting to stock up on some candy for Halloween. You two have any plans for that?”

Was it really coming that soon? Joyce blinked, and just like that, there they were midway into the month. Time really did fly by…

“Not yet, no…” And unlike herself and Emily, she knew exactly what her parents would be up to. The second Joyce and her sibling stopped trick or treating, Frank and Mary pivoted the candy import into an export. They accumulated candy like it was some kind of national reserve and liquidated their assets over the course of a few hours to the hundreds of kids trick-or-treating through the neighborhood. Candy was spent in exchange for getting to see all the cute and cool costumes kids and teens would wear.

“Well…if it includes costumes, I’m going to want pictures, you know! John and Hannah plan on going to a party in a few days. They’re going as Bonnie and Clyde!”

“That sounds nice,” Joyce chuckled. “But right now we don’t have anything set in stone yet,” but Joyce did glance just briefly at Emily, wondering just what kind of costume would look good on her…

Vampire? Super hero? Sheep? Monkey? Kitty cat? Princess? Piglet? Quite a few of those could get away with a diaper underneath, too… Trick-or-treating did get long…

“Mm,” Mary made a noise, and Joyce already knew what disapproval sounded like. “Try to do something okay? Maybe go to one of those spooky festivals, or something? Or a haunted house?”

“Yeah, we’ll think about it.” Absolutely not. Diapers could only absorb so much… “So everything’s good for you two, though? Need anything?”

“Same old same old,” Mary went on, “but I actually wanted to start talking about Thanksgiving next month. You two are gonna be staying for at least a day or two, right?”

“I mean, sure, we’ll probably be staying the night at least…” She hadn’t talked to Emily about it yet, but she couldn’t imagine a problem. As Joyce recalled, Emily mentioned that her parents didn’t do much for the holiday anyway.

“Uh-huh! And we’ll have your room nice and clean for you both, okay?”

“Yep, thanks for doing that as always,” Joyce responded. Was there a reason for mentioning what she always did?

“And Joyce, one other thing; I was thinking we could talk about some things Emily might need while she’s here?”

“...Sorry?” What things did Emily need?

And in a Mary-like fashion, the words came out bluntly.

“Well, her diapers?”

“M-Mom…?” Joyce did her best to hide her stutter, given who was sitting right beside her. “What’re you–?”

“-Well since you’re both flying here, I imagine you’re gonna need to pack some of her extra stuff. I was thinking you could have some things shipped here early so I can put it in your room for you?”

Her casual tone was making Joyce’s head spin all over again. She had actually forgotten, and surely Emily did too. Time didn’t undo the damage that’d been done by the unintentional reveal to her mom since their last visit. She found one of Emily’s diapers…used, at that, and came to her own conclusions. It was debatable to call it lucky, but as far as Mary knew, Emily had a medical condition and Joyce was supporting her through it.

“We…” What’s the right thing to say…?! “We won’t need that, mom.”

Her mom sounded surprised, and Joyce knew what doubt sounded like.

“Joyce, hon, this is going to be Emily’s first time here? Have you told her how many of us there’s going to be? It’s a lot of new faces, and I know that she can be shy at first… I really don’t want you leaving her unprepared.”

“Mom…we’ll be fine!” Joyce insisted louder than she meant to, and finally Emily was giving her a concerned look.

“Honey, all I’m asking is you just send me some of her diapers? That way you won’t need to pack any with you. I’ll hide them in your room where no one else will see– not even your dad! I’m just trying to save space in your suitcases, sweetheart? Just ship a case, okay? Or maybe two… If she’s coming for Christmas we’ll want to have a good amount…”

“Mom…” Joyce sighed, “it’s been a long and busy day, and I really don’t have the energy to talk about this right now. Is that all you wanted?”

“It is, honey, but I really want you to do it soon; rates are gonna go up as we get closer to the holidays…” As if money was an issue for Joyce. Mary spoke with more concern, more worry and more doubt just to gently force the issue like she always did. As per usual, secrets that didn’t even belong to her were suddenly part of her own prerogative.

Joyce was quick to cut the call speedily. “Goodbye, Mom. We’ll talk later.”

And yet her mom could hardly find that things were amiss. “Okay, I love you, sweetheart! Tell Emily I said bye!”

“Bye, Mom.”

And she hung up.

Emily watched the discomfort on Joyce’s face as she dropped her phone with a frown. She hesitated, but ultimately she did ask, “What’d she want…?”

“An excuse to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong…” Joyce mumbled. But it was too late. Once her mom knew, there was never unringing that bell. Now the real question…should she tell Emily? If things came to pass just as her mother unfortunately orchestrated, surprising Emily with diapers in the closet was a surefire way to cause a rightful breakdown. “My mom…she wanted to talk about us sending her some of your diapers.”

“W-what…?” It was a loaded one-word reaction, especially once the trauma Emily had learned to forget was coming back all over again. “What…?!”

“She wants me to ship her some so we don’t have to worry about packing them in our suitcases…”

“She…she’s serious?”

“She thinks you have a condition, Emily… She thinks it’s from stress or nervousness. And well, to be honest, you do get that way in new situations…”

“Yeah, but I don’t wet myself because of it!”

“But that’s not what she thinks…” Joyce glumly countered. In fact, she thinks she knows differently with a frightening degree of certainty…

“We’re…we’re not gonna bring them…right?”

The sudden shift from cloudy daylight to underground parking garage was the only thing that kept Joyce from seeing Emily’s worried look.

“If…if we want to avoid questions…” she bit her lip, fighting the words, “It may not be the worst idea…”

“But Joyce…!”

“No one said we have to use them, okay? What if we ship her some and just forget about them? My mom said she’d hide them in the room we’ll use, so… We get them and just leave them there…” she thought, and with stress and urgency as her motivator to resolve things quickly, she nodded with affirmation. “Yeah, we’ll do that. Ship your diapers, then just say you never needed to use them? It’ll satisfy Mom and no one needs to see them. Does that work?”

“It…I guess it does…” Emily made a discomforted noise. “I just wish she didn’t know anything at all…”

“You and me both…” Joyce frowned apologetically. “No matter what, I promise it’ll be a fun time. As nosy as she is, I’ve never known stuff to go beyond Mom…” She was in other words a borderline benign tumor or some kind of self-serving parasyte stuck in a questionably symbiotic relationship. Mary fed off the circumstances, and for that she did…something for Joyce and Emily as her host. If only they had any sort of idea what that benefit might be. “But,” she killed the ignition to the car, “that’s not until a month from now. So let’s not think about it so much.”

“And what happens as it gets closer…?” Emily sulked, finding her signature pessimistic state.

“Then we think about it less,” Joyce manually straightened her out. “But we’re home now, so let’s get those pants back up your legs.”

Diapers and Thanksgiving… Joyce gave herself one last chance to audibly vent as she walked around to the passenger side. Her heels echoed off the cement walls so did the opening of the passenger side door. There Emily was, looking as pensive and conflicted as ever, sitting with her jeans around her ankles. And there her bunched cloth diaper was, snuggled right between her legs.

“Did you wet again when I was on the phone?” Joyce asked while bending over, hiking the denim up her bare legs.

“O…only a little…” she turned her face away. Her car ride home had gone from warm to lukewarm, and just about to be cold, but back to warm again. But now she was cold and ready to change; clothes and undergarments.

“Lean forward?” Joyce guided her forward. “Scooch that bum a little, too… Perfect. And then we slide up your–!” And just as Emily slightly stood to help the process, she waited for a gesture that didn’t finish.

Instead, Joyce tilted her head curiously down at the seat, noticing the impression where Emily was sitting… there were streaks darker than normal… Is that…?

“Is something wrong?” Emily tried to look for herself,

“Huh…? Oh, no, everything’s okay. But…” she popped her lips. “Let me go grab a towel real quick from the back, okay?”

Towel…?

“Wait…why do you need a towel?”

“Just a little rain, I think!”

Rain? But when they were getting into the car it wasn’t…

But there they were. Two crescent moon-shaped streaks right where Emily was sitting. The seat got wet. Huh. Was it raining and she just didn’t notice…? What a weird, and oddly specific place to be wet, though…

And out of odd curiosity, Emily, as innocently clueless as could be, brushed her backside, feeling the certainly wet spots on the back of her diaper. Coincidentally, right where the leg gatherers ended.

“Let’s just put that there…” Joyce was back and padding the seat with a fluffy towel, and Emily hand her hand under her nose, conducting her investigation.

Rain…?

N-no…rain didn’t smell like that. It wasn’t like rain at all… No grass or dewy scent… Hardly outdoors… It smelled a little off, and all too familiar. It smelled like–

“I-I leaked?!” Emily panicked right as she was pushed back onto the towel.

“Emily, baby, it’s fine…!” Joyce tried to hush her with a laugh.

“You think it’s funny?!” How long ago did she leak? Why didn’t she try to notice it?

“W-well…a little…” she admitted with a face that struggled to stay serious. “But it’s fine…! Leaks happen all the time…!”

“But I don’t leak!” Emily pouted. “I-I’m sorry…! Is the seat okay? Do we need to get it cleaned? I’ll–!”

Boom. Joyce, or better known as Mommy, the fastest pacifier-placer in the west. As shocking as the seat stains, somehow Emily was bewildered by the unexpected trinket in her mouth.

“Shh…just suck on that for a little, okay?” Joyce soothed the distraught girl, but her smile didn’t go away. She leaned over as she used the excess cloth to wipe Emily all over as a precautionary. “No one’s here…no one’s watching.” But I guess we’ll need to mention to Amy that her handiwork isn’t as waterproof as she thought… “I don’t know about you, but I like disposables a whole lot more!”

And her little girl busy being quite upset with herself, weakly nodded. Disposables probably wouldn’t have given her the same kind of embarrassment, which was wild to think given how little the margins were separated by. Panties hadn’t even crossed her mind. Her world really in that moment was just diapers.

With the tools Joyce had, Emily and the car’s seat were going to be as clean as she could get them right then. Good thing what she needed for both messes were in the same place.

“Okay…up we go, whoosh!” Joyce cooed with a brief cradle that left Emily standing behind the car door. “And yes, we’ll put these back on…” Joyce tugged up her pants, and the concern in Emily’s eyes was obvious, but even she understood. Risking her jeans was better than flashing a diaper to anyone walking by. She winced as the wet padding was compressed against her all over again, but at least the outside world would have a harder time telling.

Hand in hand they walked to the elevator, and Emily followed and stayed quiet– double, triple, then quadruple-checking for people that thankfully didn’t exist.

“First thing’s first: a bath,” Joyce hummed while she watched the digital display count down the floors. “New diaper, then I’m gonna come down and– Oh!”

Emily leaned back, but Joyce’s hand came closer and pulled something that left her mouth feeling wet.

“Sorry!” Joyce giggled, then whispered, “Mommy almost let you walk around with your paci…!”

And Emily blushed, doing nothing more than that, focusing on her girlfriend’s thumb massaging her palm. Maybe Joyce was forgetful, but Emily hardly remembered she was even sucking on it. Or maybe that wasn’t it. Maybe she just didn’t remember that there was a time and a place for particular soothers.

But here she was, sucking on air, standing and forced to be patient for an elevator that couldn’t seem to come fast enough. She fidgeted and wanted to move, feeling the cold cloth diaper getting to her as it inevitably started to stain her jeans, all the while leaving an expensively-stained car seat in her wake.

Now she potentially had a new babysitter to get used to, and all on top of that she now knew they were bringing diapers for her to Thanksgiving. She was far from frowning, and at most her brow was creased from the heavy thoughts hanging on her head. Now she didn’t even have something to chew on… She wasn’t frowning, but she certainly was starting to feel something.

Cranky.

Maybe her nap really wasn’t long enough…