Ise-CLASH (Patreon)

I have made a terrible mistake.

Just one second.

Just a single, solitary second. One moment. One opportunity. 

Everything became disastrous in just a single instant of inattention.

I had it made. For a commoner in this Kingdom of Sorcier, there were few paths towards a cushy life. Many of them required access to resources and knowledge that I simply did not possess. 

As an orphan, I had no parents to teach me a trade. As a commoner, I had no magic to avail myself with. And as a young woman, I had a failure condition that would see me consigned to a fate that would see me worked to the bone with a terrible retirement plan.

No, I had to find something else... and there was something that I had, that others did not.

An education.

I could read, write and do math, which alone was enough to draw attention towards myself... not just because I could, but because I had, as far as anyone knew, taught myself. The former and latter, I just had to learn the language, and the latter, math is math regardless of the symbols they use for it.

My work ethic worked in my favor, and soon enough, I had found myself with a letter of recommendation, before the lady Milidiana Claes, Duchess Claes to be specific. She was merciless, with eyes like a hawk, and a mind like a sharpened bear trap... she was everything I wished in a superior and then some. Attentive, perceptive and most important of all, capable of recognizing talent where she saw it.

Being a maid was not something that most people would consider an ideal career path, but they would not know the reality of the situation.

In this estate, I had three meals a day I did not have to pay for, a comfortable and safe place to sleep and an excellent salary, befitting of the effort necessary to be granted a position in the Claes Household's Staff.

My duties were simple, I was to be the primary attendant, handmaid and tutor of the Duchess' own daughter Katarina, who was heir to the house of Claes. And I would do my job, to the utmost of my ability. 

I needed only look upon the lady Milidiana and her own handmaid's relationship to know the future that awaited me, should I perform my tasks admirably. Not a single member of staff was unhealthy, ill mannered, unhappy or miserable.

There is no path where I will be granted an easy life, but I can craft my own retirement, with the aid of a rich family, should I display my worth to them satisfactorily.

Alas, there was a bump in the road.

The Young Mistress, Katarina was... perhaps in some ways, too much like her mother, and in others, not enough. She was definitely the daughter of nobility, but in a bad way. In many ways, she was what one pictured when one thought of an overly spoiled little princess. 

"This tastes like mud!" she would say, spitting the tea I carefully brewed, the tea that had pleased the lady's own mother.

"This has stains all over!" she would claim, tossing the freshly done laundry into the ground and stomping on it.

"This pillow is not fluffy at all!" she would argue, while jumping on it to try to make it flat.

In other words... my young charge was a horrible little shit.

And while I was complaining internally about having to deal with her bullshit during the visit of the young Prince Geordo, I took my eyes off of her for one moment...

And then my little terror of a lady was no more. Just like that. Vanished, as quickly as she was brought to the world, she was taken from it.

"Tanya!" 

There she came running, dragging her little brother alongside her by the hand. Ever the shy boy, Keith Claes always seemed to have trouble saying no to his overbearing sister. Given the fact that he was an illegitimate child, he surely had reasons to fear for his station, but...

"We're ready! We can go check on the garden now!" 

I nodded. The watering can on my hands wouldn't do to water all of the vegetables that the little lady had planted, but it would be a start. "Then we shall," giving her as good of a smile as I could, and taking her hand.

I am not letting this girl go anywhere running off like she did.

I absolutely cannot risk Katarina Claes tripping and hitting her head ever again. If whatever brain damage she got from that one hit were to be reversed, I- I would, I don't know what I would do, but I know I would regret it for the rest of my life, however long or short it turned out to be. "Please be careful and mind your step. Ladies do not run or skip."

"Boo! If we walk like mother, we'll take a week to get there!" Katarina complained. "Besides, if I trip, you'll catch me, right?"

I would. By all that is holy, I'd use myself as a pillow before I ever allow her head to hit a hard surface on my watch. "Yes, but I'd prefer that you not dirty your dress. Come along now, children," I urged gently.

Keith never ever took my hand, but it was okay. He at least seemed to be as interested as I was in trying to keep his sister from tripping. Whether it be simply attachment to her, due to her incessant affection, or an inherent self preservation instinct that told him that something really bad would happen if Katarina were to hit her head, he was my primary ally in the fight to keep Katarina the sweet little angel she had become after getting her brain rearranged.

We walked together, in peace, to the gardens, where Tom would give Katarina and Keith yet another lesson in gardening. The man was about as knowledgeable about farming and its intricacies as it was possible to be, in a world where education was limited and inaccessible, and Katarina seemed to have an unerring, unending interest in devouring every little factoid about cultivation and gardening.

Really, it was always surprisingly interesting, with the little lady around. Hardly a moment to get bored. Especially considering the amount of time I spent chasing after her, cleaning her up, and how often I had to carry a multitude of tools with me to deal with her... accidents.

After several hours, I saw the young lady to her room to rest after a day of hard labor, so unusual among nobility, and met with her mother, giving my report on Katarina's daily activities.

"But still... farming..?" Duchess Milidiana asked, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "That girl..." she sighed, a combination of despair and frustration.

"If I may offer my opinion, mistress?" I offered.

The lady Milidiana was a strong minded and proud noblewoman... but she was no fool. She had an inherent feel of superiority, as she was born with the noble talent of magic, and she was afforded the highest of educations. In medieval society, nobility had inherent advantages over commoners, and this lady was one of the few who had made full use of them.

"Speak your mind, Tanya," the lady allowed. "I allow you to be frank and candid as you wish."

"Thank you very much, my lady," I said, bowing in appreciation. "I believe the young miss may be a smarter individual than we give her credit for."

"Oh?" Lady Milidiana leaned on her hand, resting her elbow on the desk. Her study was well lit, decorated tastefully and most important of all, private, allowing us to have this sort of conversation with impunity. Few would imagine that a lady of such high standing had a habit of listening to the words of commoners... but I was grateful that she did. "I would appreciate an explanation."

"Certainly," I nodded. "My Lady, if I may be so bold, your beauty, wit, elegance and intelligence are on display with every move you make. It is not an exaggeration to say that you are a shining jewel and example of nobility, one who is the envy of many a noble," I explained. "You possess magical power, political acumen and brilliant charisma."

"I appreciate the compliments," the lady said with a wry smile, "but I fail to see their relevance."

"I believe the lady Katarina possesses each and every one of these qualities," I explained, "however, they have manifested... differently, in her. Mayhaps it was that fateful accident," the day in which the little demon had become an angel, "that scrambled the contents of her head, and thus, the same ingredients..."

"Produced a different result," the woman said, raising her fingers to her lips, looking aside. "I believe I am starting to see the logic. Please explain further."

"I believe the young lady pursues beauty and elegance, but she," much like myself, "sees the ability to produce such beauty and elegance as something even greater than the end product itself."

"Oh?" the lady made the exact same face of confused realization as Katarina did. Their faces were nigh identical, if one accounted for the young lady's rounded cheeks, and they were almost disturbingly similar at a fundamental level. I had originally started this chain of thought as an attempt to justify my lady's love of farming, but I... might actually be onto something, without realizing. "So in her mind, one who is capable of building and maintaining an elegant and beautiful garden, is themselves the height of elegance and beauty?"

"Precisely," I explained. 

"I see... I suppose that would... explain her odd behavior. Order and functionality has an elegance of its own," the lady admitted, closing her eyes. "I just wish her hobbies did not involve as much mud as they do. Would that my child not have turned into a tree climbing beast!" 

I winced. That... I could not excuse. But if nothing else, I will protect my lady's hobby of farming. For there was no greater barrier to her development into a spoiled rotten demon than knowing the weight and value of hard work. "I... have tried my best to steer her to more ladylike pursuits."

"Yes. I understand, as have I," Lady Milidiana said, sounding even more miserable than I felt. For different reasons, we both tried our hardest to keep Katarina from climbing on trees, for this was the one thing both of us agreed should not be allowed to happen. "Still, you possess great insight, for one so young. Some may believe you are wise beyond your years, I do not believe it, I know it so," Lady Milidiana spoke.

Every word was almost like a stab through me. She has no idea just how right she is. "I appreciate your kind words," I said, trying my best to project the demure embarrassment of a member of the staff receiving praise, rather than the truth that lay beneath. Rejecting her praise or trying to downplay it, I've learned, is considered rather rude in these lands. So strange.

The lady looked almost wistful for a moment. "I suppose you are living proof that she has her own form of charisma. After all, my daughter has her strict and stern tutor here, defending her most strange and unaristocratic hobbies."

I tried not to wince at the accusation. I really did. "My lady, I-"

She sighed, then offered me a small, wry smile, one that was on the verge of bitterness. "You are dismissed," she said. "Return to my daughter's side now," she added. My permission to speak was over, right then and there.

I nodded, courtseyed as I had been taught. "Thank you for listening to my words, Mistress," I said.

"I'll keep them in mind," the lady said.

I left the room, and as instructed, returned to Katarina's side. I found her, as per usual, practicing her reading. When, exactly, she had gone from schewing even the barest idea of trying to apply herself to any sort of academic pursuit to desperate for me to teach her how to read, I'm not sure, but the discovery of a certain type of novel had seemed to trigger Katarina's interest in reading.

Even if she seemed to absolutely despise the very idea of learning any sort of math whatsoever. Alas, my job was never over.

Katarina rapidly closed the book she was reading, clearly trying to pretend she wasn't reading it. She was a bit too young for this sort of novel, of course, but ever since she had become friends with the Ascart girl... 

Well, no matter. "Young lady, you've had your fun on the fields," I explained, "and as you promised, it is time for your lesson."

"But Tanyaaaa," she whined, "I'm tired, and I was learning all day, my brain is fried!" 

A smile blossomed from deep within, one that curled the corners of my lips and forced me to reveal a few too many teeth. It was not a smile of happiness, it was a bad, nervous habits, from the times I had to respond with a smile and a Sir Yes Sir to my superiors, no matter how idiotic the order.

"I get it! I'll study I promise!"

Right.

I'm going to make totally and absolutely sure that Katarina Claes lives up to her potential... This young lady, so prone to disaster and injury, is my ticket to a happy, cushy and relaxed retirement, and a managerial position. 

And I will make absolutely certain that I see her reach her potential..!

... meanwhile...

"Tanya's so scary..!" Katarina thought, as she went through her maths homework once more.

For once, the council was in agreement. Undoubtedly, the maid Tanya Degurechaff was the most dangerous enemy they were facing..!

The maid's eyes never ever seemed to miss anything, and she didn't allow Katarina to go anywhere without supervision! Katarina didn't know there'd be this kind of ultimate enemy character on the first chapter, already dogging her every step!

Of all the things, Katarina never would have expected that the final boss would be her own mother, trying to prevent her from learning the skills she'd need to survive and thrive after banishment!

And to think that she was getting tutored in basic subjects by a girl her own age, despite having an entire previous education to draw from!

As the Demon Maid's overwhelming power of intimidation washed over Katarina, she resolved she'd find a way to slip her demonic influence and earn her happy ending, crazy demon maid or not!