Evolution and Wet Dreams (Patreon)

(A draft of this writing appeared on my Twitter today.)

This screen capture of a Twitter thread found its way in front of my eyeballs this afternoon and I can't stop thinking about it.

Like... WHY does this person think God  wouldn't send you wet dreams?  If you believe humans are made in god's image, which includes having a  body that orgasms, shouldn't wet dreams be seen as a divine act? Seems like a pretty heavenly gift to me! Like, dude, God loves you so friggin' much that they sent you a moment of pure physical pleasure out of the blue, for no reason.

Personally, I'm agnostic. 

I WISH I believed in a higher power, I think life would be a little less scary if I did. I remember the exact day I began the process of losing my faith. My  suuuper religious cousins and I were talking about how God made the world. We were probably about... ten-ish years old? I was of the mind that God created all the life on earth through evolution. I thought time worked differently for God than for humans, seven days to God was millions of years to humans. We were in the back seat of my aunt's car and she turned around to tell  me "You can't go to heaven if you believe in evolution, Erika." 

I was just so stunned and hurt and I felt like I had done something wrong. And it felt so profoundly unfair!!! I could go to church and accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and generally try to be as good a person as I could be and God would send me to hell just because evolution sounded pretty reasonable to me??? I don't remember if I cried in front of them, but I did cry when my dad  picked me up. I really thought I was going to hell for this. 

My dad explained that every single person interprets religion and God differently, they each have their own set of rules. And that's how I realized oh, wait, these aren't GOD'S divine orders, they're HUMANS making up these rules to fit their own purposes. I didn't stop believing that instant, but that was the start of my questioning. Haha, in trying to save my soul from hell, my aunt's intervention ultimately resulted in me losing my faith all together. THANKS, AUNT BONNIE.

The moral of the story is: if God is real, I'm pretty sure they're responsible for evolution and wet dreams.