Just some garden stuff (Patreon)

Raspberry branch progression:

Every day I document the minute changes of my plants.

My little phone is filled with literally thousands and thousands of the pictures I take of my backyard plants (plus also some neighborhood plants, when I take a walk around the block)

“Someday,” I tell myself. “I’m going to use these photos as reference for the series of botanical drawings and paintings I am totally going to do, even though I have not made any illustrative Capital A Art in over a year.”

I can count on one hand the number of times I have drawn outside of work in the last year and a half. That’s shared without judgmental, it’s just a statement of fact.

Maybe just spending time up close with my little plants is enough. Maybe taking a picture is enough. Maybe I’m laying (lying?) on my back on my bed at 10:18 PM (PST) with my glowing phone held too close to my face when I’m supposed to be changing out of my clothes and letting my mind disengage from screens so I can get a healthy sleep because playing on your phone before bedtime throws off your circadian rhythm or something.

Ok, see, the thing is: I have this constant pounding message in my head that says if I’m not being productive, then I have no value, and if I have no value, then I don’t deserve to be alive. It has kept me working very hard, it has made me somewhat prolific, and now at 37 (almost 38) I am holding that pounding part of my brain in my hands and gently telling it “It’s ok, you can just look at your plants without gathering material to turn it into something productive later. You can just exist in this moment, you can enjoy this for yourself.”

(Of course, here I am then using those same pictures as #content online.)

But... I’m sharing because I.... I just want to share. My plants are pretty. Their minute developments are fascinating to observe, I think. They make me happy. I want you to see them too.

See those tiny little clustered buds? Those are future raspberries 🤤

It’s 10:42 PM (PST), and I’m telling you with love: put down your phone, sweetie, let your mind rest, go to sleep ❤️