BLOG: Thirst Trap // Book Jitters (Patreon)

Three Things: 

• -My 100+ year old house is audibly creaking in the gusting frozen winds outside. 
• -Lucy just sent me an audio note wherein she used the expression "fuckdamn" and I can't believe I have never heard this combination of words before because, fuckdamn!!!, it is so beautiful and expressive.
• -I am supposed to be promoting The Big Book and I have been paralyzed with... fear? nerves? guilt? something? about it.

At first I wrote "A couple days ago" but then I checked my phone and realized that it was actually ONE WEEK AGO that I procrasti-created this series of self-portraits for my Stories on Instagram. They speak for themselves so I'll just re-post them in their entirety and then move on into why I'm feeling anxiety/guilt/fear for the release of my upcoming magnum opus.

(Part of Maria Frantz's duties while we were still working together in Helioscope was to make sure I wasn't dicking around on the internet and to order me to get back to work in case I was-- which I always was. Even when I told her I wasn't: I was.)

(That is a page of The Stress Response Cycle comic)

In hindsight, I wish I had written "SIKE" on this final image, but oh well. 

Auhg. When I opened up this blog post, I, like, had so much I wanted to say about The Big Book. Well, my feelings around it. I had it! I had the words to explain it, analyze it, offer some insight into the behind-the-scenes personal stress factors of debuting a Big Deal Book with a Big Deal Publisher.

Now my words are just a fuzzy mess of emotions that I don't... I don't even know where to start, how to explain.

Ok, and now Matt is talking at me about the kettle and how nice it is to have a fire burning for the first time in over a year since the house is so friggin' cold in this snap winter flurry. 

I can't write like this. 

I'll try again later.

The Big Book is Let's Talk About It which is coming out from Random House Graphic on March 9, 2021 and has gotten not one but two starred reviews from the Prestigious Publishing Industry Magazines and, goddamn, I really need to get over my shit and start properly promoting this thing so that Random House doesn't regret taking on this project and me 😬😬😬

fuckdamn!

fuckdamn it all!