SHORTZ (Patreon)

These photos and writing originally appeared on my Instagram page, here and here, and now I am sharing them here because last I checked there was no law against it. Yet.

HEY AT LEAST I'M WEARING CLOTHES THIS TIME.

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May 31

I BOUGHT SHORTS. Like, wear-them-in-public shorts, not exercise shorts. I seriously don't remember the last time I owned normal shorts. Feelin' hella cute today :D Earlier I had a shirt on that I like better but then I was washing the dishes and I went to get a squirt of soap on the sponge but there was some build up around the opening of the... nozzle? tip? thing? and instead of a dollop squeezing gently out, instead this JET of liquid soap SHOT OUT in an extended stream and fucking plastered itself all over my cuter pale green shirt with a cuttlefish on it. Like, it was SO. MUCH. SOAP. The shirt is drying after I gave it a rinse and now I am wearing this guy instead. It's ok. It's an ok shirt. But I like the other one better. And I'm never washing the dishes ever again, The End ✌️

June 2

UPDATE ON THE GREAT T-SHIRT DEBACLE:

My shirt dried after the projectile liquid soap and rinse-off soak adventure from two days ago so now I am wearing it today.

Thank you for following along with me on this journey of self-discovery and test of perseverance. 🙏