What's going on with Choccy? (Patreon)

Hey guys, I want to tell you how I feel about the issue I posted yesterday, plus clarify some stuff that may not be so clear, I'll try to be as short and straight forward :)

The post was scheduled at a wrong time, I was supossed to clean my words and make it more understandable. I don't want you to worry or get a bad impression about what's going.

What's going on?

My main problem is not a workload thing, but the personal satisfaction I feel with my arts lately, wich has been affecting my feelings and creativity.

Because patreon is my main income source, I priorize exclusivity and a good experience for you, ecause of this, I put myself to a point where Im more worried about filling the queue and keep my most recent art private, over expressing myself.

I feel like I draw more than what I actually show, but at the same time, I feel the obligation of priorizing exclusivity.

Because of this, some of my most recent artworks haven't go outside on patreon in months. I feel like im drawing for the future and not showing my true potential.
NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT, to the contrary, If I can live by drawing it's thanks to you. just as stated earlier, this is a situation I put myself into and I'll figure out a solution.

Why you deleted the last post?

I readed all your comments and im very grateful of your support. The reason why I deleted it was simply because I felt I wasn't expressing myself properly. So I wanted to write a much clear post to share this situation with you.

Why are you telling us this?

I always try to be as professional as possible, and since my profession is directly conected to my creativity flow and feelings, I think it's a great idea to share you these situations, so you're aware for any changes in the future.

What are you planning to do about this?

Right now im not feeling well with this, so after this venting/announcement I have decided to take some days to let my mind calm down.

This doesn't means any kind of hiatus (at the moment) but I'll use these days to tell this problem to people I trust and consider any options/perspectives. I realized that getting out these feelings and thoughts actually help me understand em more, and you guys has been a vital process of this, thank you :)

After letting pass some days, I'll start looking up for a mechanism/system to keep exclusivity and a good experience to my patreons/supporters, and at the same time, not feeling im drawing something for 6 months in the future xD

I have some ideas right now, but any possible changes will be told to you with anticipation and even voted if necesary. This is a friendly comunity by a friendly artist :D

Some conclusions I have come with 

1- Sure, many independent artists stuggle with algorythms and engagement, but I realized that worrying about the numbers of my other websites is NOT where I should head my attention right now. It's something everybody struggles with, and I wanna use my energy in what It's more important to me right now.

2- I just turned into a professional less than a year ago, so It's completly normal to see myself in these corners. Many of the things I learned has been trial and error, and this is just part of that process. ( Im very good to overdemand myself! haha )

3- Without using the pandemic as a escapegoat, I have experienced (like many people) a personal wear and tear due lockdown and all the things I been holding myself to do. What im trying to say is that I wanna be mature and do not destroy myself for not having a solution to everything right now.

4- Finally, Despite everything, I wanna see through another perspective: Im glad I can worry about this. Im glad I can say " I have a lot of cool people who enjoy my art, and I have lots of ideas and projects ". It's like having a lot of cake and not enough plates hahaha.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this :)

Any comment or not will be appreciated, More news in the future!