Abigail's Real Life Chronicles 1 (Patreon)

You: The fuck? It's fuckin friday, I come home after a fuckin week at the coal factory or whatever, I open my fuckin ass IBM laptop and I expept one thing: To cover my knuckle with jizzjuice while watching limbless girls. But no, you only dropped one scene you lazy fuckin cunt ass bitch.

Me: Dear patron, I am in the deeply sorry zone right now. Please understand my situation: I've always been happy in my solitude and my depression and my shitty ass lonely life of trying to sleep while my tinnitus is turning me into a psychopath, but since I started this Patreon shit and I receive so much love and I finally love what I do for work and all my patrons are super polite and respectful and I feel blessed and I am finally ready to have a social life and yesterday I had my first date in maybe 2 years with a nice girl :) And it went very well :) And I want to see her again :) So that's cute enough for you to forgive me right?

You: JIZZKNUCKLES! - SHUT UP! - GET BACK TO WORK!

Me: But I might create her in 3D and she could join our crazy adventures... I always think I don't have enough girls in my life... I only have 2 girlfriends 1BFFWB 6FWB 1slave 1mistress 5 EWB (enemies with benefit) AND Pengus... So I really need a 3rd girlfriend I believe I deserve it because I haven't drank a Coke in like 17 hours so... Yeah.

You: ARE YOU DEAF? OR RETARDED?

Me: I know I know I shouldn't talk to you about those boring life details of mine but you are like my only friend... Don't you have enough pity to forgive me now?

You: I WANT A REFUND!

Me: I understand you really want some porn but sometimes... You need love and cuteness and just the little pleasure of real life! Celebrate the tiny happy moment in life and-

You: I'm going to fuckin murder you bitch.

Me: I love you too! Have a nice weekend! -xxxxxxx-