A Perverted Galaxy Far Far Away Ch. 66 (Star Wars) (Patreon)

A/N: *insert Order Sixty-Six joke here*

-x-X-x-

“And so you return, Master Jedi. I wonder… do you think that our decision will be changed simply because you have traded out padawans?”

Tylo raises an eyebrow at the incredibly derisive drawl of the Council of Five’s spokesman, Clu Lesser. All five Muun within the Council are high above him and Aayla, with the Jedi pair in the center of a platform lower and in the middle of the room. They all have the same bored, unimpressed looks on their faces as well… however, from what Tylo begins to pick up from their minds, they are actually anything BUT bored.

As a matter of fact, Aayla’s entreaties are the most fun they’ve had in months, and each and every one of them is enjoying stonewalling the Jedi Master as much as they possibly can while also keeping her engaged for as many of these meetings as possible. None more so than Clu Lesser.

What will your plan be this time, Jedi? How will you try and beseech me for the information you seek without dropping to your knees and begging me outright, I wonder.

Unaware of their thoughts, but likely not at all unaware of their dispositions, Aayla Secura nevertheless smiles as she inclines her head in acknowledgment of Tylo’s presence.

“Councilors. Allow me to introduce Jedi Knight Tylo Vondin, a former Padawan of mine. He recently finished up a mission of his own and was in the area, so I thought I would give Padawan Brood a break for the day and bring him along instead. Pay him no mind, I implore you.”

Even before she says that, they’ve already all written him off in their heads. Which is perfect for Tylo’s purposes. Neither he nor Aayla are actually expecting to get anything productive done in this meeting… at least, not with the willing help of the Core Five anyways. No, these Muun would never willingly assist them. But then, they don’t need to be willing to be useful.

“Very well. Present us with your latest argument, Master Secura.”

As Aayla steps forward, Tylo is watching them all closely, listening in on each of them to try and figure out who he should focus his attention on. Just as he and his former Master planned.

That isn’t to say Aayla’s arguments aren’t sound, logical, and altogether moving, to be fair. The Jedi Master not only means every word she’s saying, but she also truly wishes that the Council of Five would actually see reason and decide to be good enough to help them. But she knows as well as Tylo does that that’s not going to happen.

Even still, she’s quite persuasive in his opinion, despite completely failing to move even a single one of the greedy, self-serving, egotistical Muun that sit arrayed above them. And at the same time, every word out of Aayla’s mouth is secretly geared for the true purpose they’re here as well… to bring any knowledge of just who must have paid for the Clone Army to the forefront of their minds.

Quickly, Tylo manages to begin paring down the Council, so to speak. First one, then two, then three… and finally four. In the end, it turns out that Spokesman Clu Lesser is the only one with anything interesting going on in that head of his. Despite the Spokesman’s unfortunate surname, its his fellow Muun who are truly the lesser, because while they’re all self-serving, greedy bankers, Clu Lesser is the most self-serving, greediest banker of all. More than that… he has a name.

Honestly. If nothing else, this Twi’lek wench’s pleas are amusing. A fine distraction from how this war is being prosecuted. I still don’t quite know what Chairman Hill is thinking. If only Master Damask were still around. I’m quite confident that whatever his plans for the clones were, they weren’t… this. Wasteful. Expensive. Short-sighted. Nothing like Hego’s work. Tch, if things continue apace, the Banking Clan will be out of funds within the year…

There. Tylo notes the solvency issues that the InterGalactic Banking Clan is apparently on its way to facing, but he’s far more interested in the name that Clu Lesser just unknowingly dropped. ‘Master Damask’. Who was that? Who was this Hego Damask person?

Listening closely to the Spokesman’s thoughts as Aayla continues speaking with the Core Five each taking their turns to get in their little jabs and comments here and there designed to frustrate and irritate her to no end, Tylo gleans more from Lesser’s mind over the next several minutes. But not enough. Oh certainly, there’s enough to learn that this Hego Damask was a Muun and was also most definitely the one who paid for the Clone Army. But Tylo needed more. He needed to know what Damask’s connection was to the Sith.

Unfortunately, Aayla couldn’t steer the conversation towards someone she didn’t even know existed. And leaving the meeting just to come back tomorrow with a new line of questioning was a waste of time they really didn’t need. So… Tylo makes the call. Stepping forward, he places a hand on his Master’s shoulder, cutting her off mid-word. All eyes turn to him, the Muun still looking disinterested, but their minds lighting up with curiosity.

“Sorry, Master… but it’s clear they’re not going to give you anything. So why don’t I drop a name I got from my recent mission, and we’ll go from there, yes?”

He doesn’t wait for a response. Not from Aayla and certainly not from the Core Five. He simply steps forward and looks Clu Lesser right in the eye as he ostensibly speaks to all of them.

“Hego Damask. Any of you ever heard of him?”

A wave of shock washes over all five Muun before the Council clams up as one. They do all know of the man, though what Tylo catches snippets of from the other four are just knowledge of him as a banker, nothing more. Clu Lesser, however, is the true treasure trove. While outwardly he completely shuts down, even doing an excellent job of masking his emotions despite not being force sensitive… Tylo’s mutation doesn’t utilize the Force. Clu Lesser’s mind is an open book to him.

No… impossible. How does he know about Master Damask? It must have been something he heard in passing. He’s just fishing for information. If he knew Hego Damask’s true identity… if he knew that Master Damask was Darth Plagueis, Lord of the Sith… he would not be throwing his name out there like that. The little Jedi would be too scared. He knows not what he speaks of. He mustn’t.

There it is. Thankfully, Tylo is a master of masking his own facial reactions because this is the second time he’s uncovered the existence of a Sith with the use of his mind reading. This time around it’s apparently post-humous, but even still…

“Hego Damask was an esteemed and honored member of the InterGalactic Banking Clan, taken from us too soon by a tragic hyperspace accident. If you are attempting to cast aspersions on HIS good name, Jedi, then I assure you we have nothing left to talk about.”

Even Clu Lesser’s fellow Councilors are surprised by the Spokesman’s curt words, though not so much that they try to gainsay him. Tylo, meanwhile… doesn’t mind the meeting ending here. Not one bit. After all, he’s already gotten everything he could need.

Fortunately, even if they do somehow manage to convince the rest of the Council to give them access to the Main Vault, they won’t find anything on Master Damask. I moved all data on his activities to the hidden vault on my private residence after I confirmed his death. Darth Plagueis’ secrets are safe, even from these snooping Jedi.

Let Clu Lesser think what he wanted to think. It takes all Tylo has to suppress the wide grin that threatens to spread across his face as he turns to Aayla and shrugs apologetically, as if to say sorry. At the same time though, now that he’s not facing the Core Five, he gives her a single wink, to let her know they have it.

Seeing that, Aayla sighs and sketches a quick bow to the elevated Muun before them.

“Very well, Councilors. Until next time.”

“If there’s going to be a next time, Master Jedi… you may come without the Jedi Knight or not at all.”

“Of course.”

And with that, she and Tylo beat a hasty retreat out of the room. In the end, the Core Five’s displeasure is inconsequential. There won’t be a next time, because they already have what they need…

-x-X-x-

Clu Lesser’s folly is undeniably their gain. It would have been one thing to break into Scipio’s Main Vault. The InterGalactic Banking Clan didn’t fuck around and their Main Vault was undeniably the most secure place on the entire planet. To get in undetected would have required someone on the inside and finding someone like that would have been quite difficult. Getting out undetected would have been even harder.

It would also have been all for naught, given that the information they sought on Hego Damask wasn’t even IN the Main Vault to begin with anymore! They would have gone in the completely wrong direction if Tylo had listened to his first impulse and had them go straight for the goods. Fortunately, he’d let logic and reason prevail.

Because really, a private residence, even the private residence of someone like the Spokesman of the Core Five, was another story entirely. That very same night, Tylo, Aayla, Maris, and Bo-Katan all break into Clu Lesser’s residence. The Muun isn’t even there, with Rook Kast keeping an eye on him from back on the ship where she and Boba Fett are waiting for more information.

The littlest Mandalorian in their party hadn’t been very amused about being benched, but Tylo had managed to convince Boba to wait on the ship with Rook by pointing out that there would be no Sith at Clu Lesser’s residence for her to interrogate or kill. Ultimately, this wasn’t where they would find the Sith. This was simply a stepping stone.

That assuaged the little murder-brat’s irritation a fair amount, thankfully. He really didn’t want to have to break into Clu Lesser’s place with a child in tow. Especially not when all of the Muun Banker’s security was droid in nature, meaning that if things had gone wrong, they wouldn’t have been likely to differentiate between any of the adults and the literal kid in their midst.

Fortunately… nothing was going wrong. Between his and Aayla’s connection to the Force, Maris’ burgeoning hacking skills, and Bo-Katan’s quick trigger fingers, they managed to break into Clu Lesser’s house without any issue, really. Not a single alarm was tripped, mostly because Maris had worked some slicing magic and put all of the security droids on their own individual networks. Meaning that the two times they WERE discovered by patrols, they were able to cut the droids all down without them being able to call for back up or sound the alarm.

With Clu Lesser’s memory of his hidden vault crystal clear in Tylo’s mind’s eye, the Jedi Knight finds it all too easy to lead the rest of the party through the private resident and to the vault in question. He even knows the exact codes to get it open, since Clu Lesser’s thoughts about said hidden vault had involved memories of him literally entering the damn thing.

Slipping in and locating the data files on Darth Plagueis is the work of minutes… but they’re certainly long minutes, each one feeling like it could be the very moment they’re all found out and have to make a break for it. Still, between Tylo’s bullshit ability allowing him to lead them right to the data files and Maris’ skill with a datapad, it’s not long before they have confirmation.

“These are it. There’s definitely information about Hego Damask in here. And even a Darth Plagueis as well. Oooh, now this is interesting. There’s coordinates here to some random planet on the Outer Rim. What do you think would be there, huh? My money’s on a hidden Sith Laboratory! How much you guys wanna bet I’m right?!”

Bo-Katan snorts derisively, while Tylo and Aayla share a look of amusement at Maris’ exuberance. The corners of Aayla’s eyes crinkle in a smile, even as she gives Tylo a seemingly silent nod.

Good job, Tylo. You’ve done well.

Heh, as much as he appreciates it, he doesn’t need the praise. Maris on the other hand…

Stepping forward, Tylo places a hand on Maris’ shoulder.

“Well done, Maris. Whatever that place is, whether it’s a lab or not… it’s definitely worth checking out.”

Maris perks up, beaming at him… but before she can speak, hell before Tylo can even glean anything from her thoughts…

KABOOOM!!!

A massive explosion shakes the room they’re standing in and in an instant everyone has their weapons out, three lit lightsabers and a pair of blasters all at the ready. Then, they realize that the explosion… wasn’t anywhere near them. Rushing over to the closest window, Tylo’s eyes are wide as he looks out to see the massive Main Vault off in the distance… smoking and in flames from whatever just blew half of it to kingdom come.

Spinning back around, Tylo nods to the others.

“We need to get out of here, now. And not just out of here… but off-planet. Before the Core Five decide to blame THAT on us.”

He gets a round of nods at that, and they all hurry to exfiltrate from Clu Lesser’s residence. Thankfully, they manage to make it back to their ships and off Scipio without anyone stopping them. And sure, maybe they should have stayed behind to face the music, but it wasn’t like they actually had a good alibi. What were they supposed to say? ‘Oh, we couldn’t have been attacking the Main Vault, we were too busy breaking into Spokesman Lesser’s private residence to do that.’

Yeah, no. In the end, Tylo knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that chasing these leads on Hego Damask, aka Darth Plagueis, were the most important thing they could be doing. Even if this particular Sith was dead… whatever information they could find from his data would undoubtedly go a long way to ending the war. Tylo just knew it.

But for them to be able to retrieve said information, they had to remain free and capable of moving around. They couldn’t be bogged down. Especially when Tylo didn’t even know WHO had attacked the Main Vault in the first place. For all he knew, it could very well have been done intentionally to frame them all in the first place.

Putting Scipio… and the political ramifications of fleeing the scene of the crime behind them, Tylo focuses his eyes forward. At this point, they had no other choice but to keep going.