Chef's Kiss Ch. 1 (Fate/Grand Order) (Patreon)

A/N: Hey guys, here we are with the sixth and final new Story Poll I'll be starting here in January. Won't lie, this is the one I'm the least sure about at the moment, so please be sure to let me know what you think!

-x-X-x-

The Chaldea Security Organization. A secret agency founded for the purpose of preventing the certain extinction of the human race. But of course… even the denizens of Chaldea had to eat. Chaldea had itself a massive kitchen, alongside a sizable cafeteria. There, Chaldea’s new cook is getting ready to provide the agency with the highest quality dishes possible. Alongside his helpers, of course.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Shirou Emiya can’t help smiling at Rin Tohsaka’s bellyaching, even as all four of them move boxes back and forth. Of course, of all of them, Artoria is able to move the most boxes due to her natural strength. Shirou can move two at once, while Rin and Sakura are both limited to one box at a time. They’ve been working on getting the kitchen stocked properly with all of the ingredients Shirou could have wanted all morning long.

Sakura huffs at her older sister’s attitude, not nearly as amused as Shirou is.

“You didn’t have to come, you know. I would have been more than happy to accompany Senpai here without your… interference.”

Rin can’t help but stiffen at that, glaring at the purple-haired woman in response.

“Hmph! As if! Someone has to look out for you, and it might as well be me. After all, I have a lot to make up for still!”

“I would have gladly accepted you keeping your distance as recompense enough!”

“You-!”

Shirou shakes his head, just about to step in and put an end to the two girls’ bickering, but before he can do more than open his mouth, a very self-important voice calls out from the cafeteria side of the kitchen.

“Hello?! I was informed that our new cook should have already been situated! This is abysmal service so far!”

Everyone in the kitchen stiffens at that, but in the end it’s obvious who needs to go deal with this developing situation. Shirou glances to Saber, who nods her head to make it clear she’ll keep Rin and Sakura from being too… loud in their confrontation. Then, he heads out of the kitchen and into the cafeteria.

There, waiting for him with her hands on her hips, is a young woman with long white hair and gold eyes. The moment she lays eyes on him, she glares.

“Did the cook send you out here? Too busy to come himself, was he? Well you can march right back in there and let him know the Director would like a word with him regarding his continued employment by Chaldea!”

He’d already had his suspicions about who the young lady was, but now that she’s confirmed it, Shirou just smiles and nods, making his way to the stove just behind the cafeteria counter. Luckily, he’d been smart enough to stock the cafeteria-facing parts of the kitchen first, so it’s not hard for him to start turning things on and get to cooking. As he does so, the woman’s face colors, but just as she’s opening her mouth to rebuke him further, Shirou ‘accidentally’ cuts her off.

“There’s no need for that, Director Animusphere. I’m Chaldea’s new Head Cook.”

Her eyes widen at that, before she scoffs. While she makes a show of looking him up and down, Shirou gets some rice cooking, and sets a couple of eggs off to the side.

“You? Aren’t you a little young for such an important role?”

Shirou smiles softly at that.

“I’m surprised that someone in your position would make a judgment call like that, Director.”

At that, she colors. Olga Marie Animusphere was the daughter of Marisbury Animusphere, the original Director of Chaldea. She’d taken over Chaldea because her father had been found dead in his office, resulting in her having to step into his shoes far earlier than she probably should have.

Shirou just lets her mull that over for a beat, one eye on her and one eye on his cooking. Finally, Olga lets out a disgruntled noise.

“… I do hope your qualifications are at least up to snuff. Chaldea is not the kind of place where you can coast by on your laurels. I may have been too busy to hunt for a new Head Cook myself, but if you manage to disappoint, you should be aware that you’ll be out on your ass faster than you can blink!”

He smiles then, feeling a strange sense of familiarity in this interaction. Luckily, he has the perfect answer to her threat.

“Of course, Director. You seem like the sort of woman who only believes something when they experience it themselves.”

Olga’s eyes narrow at that as she tries to parse whether he’s insulting her or complimenting her. Shirou doesn’t give her much chance to figure it out, because he’s already plating the dish he made and setting it up on the cafeteria counter in front of her face along with her choice of utensils, either a fork or a pair of chopsticks.

Blinking, slightly taken aback by the freshly cooked meal she’s suddenly looking at, her nose wrinkles for a moment… before her nostrils flare as she takes in the scents.

“What… what is it?”

Shirou brightens at that, perking up as he leans forward.

“That, Director, is my Extra-Special Soft and Melty Rice Omelet! Go on, give it a try!”

There’s a dubious look on Olga Marie’s face even as she reaches for the fork over the chopsticks. Giving him a suspicious glare, she gathers up a bite and carefully fits it into her mouth. The dubious gaze lasts until she bites down… and then her eyes widen and Shirou leans back as she begins to devour the rest of the omelet in record time.

A warm feeling of satisfaction suffuses his very being as the Chaldea Director visibly enjoys his food. This… this was almost as good as being a Hero, honestly. Feeding people his cooking, making them happy with his dishes. Shirou could actually see himself being happy here, even if it meant he didn’t go around fighting injustice anymore.

When she’s finally done, the Director freezes up as she realizes her lack of decorum. Very purposefully, Olga puts her fork down on her plate and straightens up, holding her head high and sniffing delicately, as though she hadn’t just gone to town on his dish.

“… Passable.”

Without another word, she turns on her heel and stomps out of the cafeteria, not bothering to even look back at him a single time. As Shiro grabs the cleaned plate and puts it in the sink, he just grins.

“Ugh, I’d heard rumors, but I guess seeing is believing. The Director of Chaldea is a total bitch, isn’t she?”

Rin Tohsaka steps out of the kitchen behind him, Shirou sparing her a glance before shrugging as he begins to clean up the stove top he just used. Unthinkingly, absently even, he says the first thing that comes to mind.

“She reminds me of you, actually.”

“W-WHAT?!”

-x-X-x-

Some time later, the cafeteria is much busier as people actually start to pile in and get some proper breakfast. Apparently, it’s going to be a big day for the Masters of Chaldea, and they all need to be well fed. Sporting a little bit of a red mark on his brow where Rin had whacked him for his impudence, Shirou hums as he makes dishes. Rin, Sakura, and Saber are all manning the line with him now, and while he’s making food to feed an army, they’re the ones mostly serving it.

Still, there is a part of the cafeteria counter in front of him that’s currently empty, and so Shirou isn’t all that surprised when a young woman with red hair sits down there and groans, throwing her head into her arms. He lets her rest for a moment, paying her little mind… until he hears her starting to snore.

Sweat-dropping, Shirou clears his throat loud enough to wake the girl up, startling her as she shoots up in her seat.

“I-I’m awake!”

Raising an eyebrow, Shirou tilts his head to the side before giving her a grin.

“Well, you are now.”

The young woman colors as bright red as her hair. Technically, as both of their hair seeing as they share the same coloring. She looks at him for a moment, seemingly uncertain of what to say. And yet, the bags under her eyes are obvious. Without thinking, Shirou begins moving to prepare her a cup of tea.

“Rough night?”

Morosely, the young woman nods her head.

“Didn’t… didn’t get much sleep. But I couldn’t sleep in either. Today’s too important to miss! E-Even if I am the lowest ranking Master in Chaldea…”

Shirou just shakes his head in amusement. It’s still weird to him, to hear it in the terms Chaldea uses. But it’s not his place to question them. What he and his girls had done was a Holy Grail War. This was something else entirely.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t meant to be. I’m Shirou… Shirou Emiya.”

Perking up a little bit, the young woman gives him a weak smile.

“Ritsuka Fujimaru. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. As for what you said… sometimes I can’t help but wonder.”

Her confidence was clearly shut, but then being the ‘lowest ranking Master’ in the facility would do that. He wasn’t entirely sure why they had to rank them in the first place, to be honest. Still, that wasn’t up to Shirou. All he could do was help in what ways he could help.

“Here, this should help.”

Ritsuka’s eyes flicker down as he sets a cup of tea in front of her. Freshly brewed, the aroma hits her nose before she can even speak, causing her to inhale sharply and her eyes to widen. Slowly, she brings the cup to her lips, sipping from it at first, before going to town. Shirou winces, because it was still hot, but she seems to down it all anyways.

When she’s done, he waits for a beat, half-expecting her to at least show some sign of getting some of her energy back from the caffeine in the tea. However, instead… she somehow droops MORE if that’s possible. Shirou can’t help but panic a little bit.

“W-Whoa! Are you okay?!”

Groaning, Ritsuka just nods.

“Y-Yeah… I’m just the sort of person that caffeine doesn’t really work on very well…”

Wait, seriously?! Then why had she drunk the tea?! But before Shirou can ask that obvious question, Ritsuka is already pushing off the counter, getting to her feet as she sways unsteadily back and forth. She waves off his concern, heading for the door.

“Thank you Mr. Emiya, sir. I’ll, mmm, see you around.”

That big yawn of hers doesn’t sound good, but unfortunately Shirou can’t leave his post. He can only watch her go with a worried look on his face, until he feels a familiar presence at his side.

“Hm. I wonder at this organization’s longevity if they’re resorting to recruiting individuals such as that. She will likely not do well here.”

Raising an eyebrow, Shirou gives Saber an amused look. The King of Knights’ standards could be a little too high sometimes. Which was funny, all things considered.

“Well, we all have to start somewhere, Artoria. And Ritsuka has a better start than I did, bleeding out in the back of a shed.”

Saber colors at the reminder of how they’d met, before shaking her head wordlessly and returning to work.

-x-X-x-

More time has passed, and the cafeteria has mostly cleared out when Shirou clocks an older gentleman slowly making his way around the room. Eyeballing the eccentric individual, Shirou waits until he gets closer before calling out to him.

“Hello there. Can I make you anything, good sir?”

The man, wearing a green coat and a green top hat, blinks and looks at Shirou for a long moment before smiling winningly.

“Ah, no, I’m just fine thank you. I heard the kitchens were under new management and thought I’d check it out, but I actually already ate in my room earlier this morning, so I won’t be needing any further sustenance. You can call me Professor Lev, by the by. And you are?”

Shirou smiles and nods, accepting the man’s explanation without a second thought.

“Shirou Emiya, Chaldea’s new Head Cook. Pleasure to meet you as well.”

For a moment, the Professor’s eyes seem to flash. As though he perhaps knows more than he’s letting on. And sure, maybe Shirou and the others could have gone with aliases, but the whole point of coming to Chaldea was refuge in audacity so they didn’t HAVE to hide away like criminals or something.

As such, Shirou stands his ground… and after the moment passes, Lev offers him a hand to shake, which Shirou accepts.

“A pleasure, Mr. Emiya! I look forward to trying your cooking another day!”

And with that, the man sweeps out of the cafeteria almost as fast as he entered it. Shirou watches him go, finding the encounter to be curious, but nothing too insane. He goes back to cleaning up now that breakfast is fully over, preparing for lunch, when the third of his girls sidles up alongside him. Sakura Matou hums as she watches Professor Lev leave.

“… That man gives me a bad feeling, Senpai.”

Blinking, Shirou glances over at Sakura. She, in turn, looks at him and he can tell she’s serious. So of course, Shirou takes HER seriously in turn. Thinking back to his encounter with the man, he hums for a moment.

“Well… he’s a little strange, but I don’t think that’s necessarily going to be very odd here in Chaldea. I think everyone here is a little strange in some way, you know?”

But Sakura just shakes her head.

“It’s not that, Senpai. That man… is a bad man.”

At the sheer certainty in her voice, Shirou can’t help chuckling. It’s not that he doesn’t believe her, he trusts Sakura’s instincts as much as his own. Still, he can’t help needling her a little bit.

“Oh? Are you sure you’re not just being paranoid, Sakura? I know we’re here to lay low, but you don’t have to worry so much. We have each other, right? We’ll keep an eye out and if this Professor Lev turns out to have ill intentions, we’ll let the proper people know.”

Sakura pauses briefly at that, seeming to think his words over. Then, she nods decisively and lifts up her hand.

“Would you say that leaving behind a bomb designed to blow up the cafeteria and kitchen would constitute as ill intentions, Senpai?”

Shirou’s eyes are wide as he stares at the makeshift explosive device in Sakura’s hands. Its interface is dark, meaning it’s clearly been disarmed. Even still… yes, that definitely qualified. Just before he can open his mouth to tell her as much, the whole world shakes as explosions go off all throughout the rest of Chaldea.

… So much for laying low.

-x-X-x-

A/N: Anyways, onto the same points of order as my other new fics:

Here we are, heh. Most importantly, what did you all think? Your feedback is critical to me, especially at this point in time at the start of a new fic.

Secondly, you'll have noticed I'm calling this story the Untitled FGO Project atm. That's because I want you guys to help me come up with a title if you want. Throw me your suggestions and if any is a real Winner it might end up being at the top of the page as early as Chapter 2.

Thirdly, I'm planning on increasing my backlog for all of my Story Polls from 2 chapters to 4 chapters. That's going to start with these six new Patreon Exclusives I'm spinning up over the course of the next two weeks. Once they're all releasing publicly, I'll put my other four stories on public hiatus for a month to get them up to a 4 chapter backlog as well.

Fourthly, I'm going to be cautious with these new stories. Because I'm not posting them publicly until Chapter 5 goes up here, I have a little more wiggle room, I figure. Basically, after Chapter 4 goes up here, we're going to be doing immediate Vibe Checks for each new fic to make sure it's landing well with you guys, my loyal patrons.

Consider these stories all experiments and be sure to give me lots of feedback as early as possible so I know if I'm fucking up somewhere along the way.

As always, thanks for reading!