A Perverted Galaxy Far Far Away Ch. 30 (Star Wars) (Patreon)

A/N: Appreciated all the feedback I got on last chapter! Took some of the ideas and incorporated them into this one!

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“… Very well. I assume you have a place where we can spar?”

The wolfish grin that the red-haired Mandalorian throws Tylo is a little at odds with her actual thoughts.

Huh. I honestly didn’t think he’d agree so easily. Maybe this Padawan has some actual balls on him!

“Yep! Right this way.”

They make their way through the corridors of the city until Bo-Katan leads him into a room that reminds him quite a bit of the training salles back at the Jedi Temple. Yes, this will definitely work for a spar. That said… has he really thought this through? Tylo shakes his head, using the Force to clear his mind of any doubts. He couldn’t afford to be second guessing himself at the moment.

Truth be told, his chances of beating Bo-Katan Kryze in a spar without his lightsaber were… next to none. But at the same time, he couldn’t back down, could he? And more than that, while there were rules and limitations, he could put on the fight in order to give himself a chance, Tylo found himself balking at them all the same.

He didn’t like the idea of forcing Bo-Katan to handicap herself, just for him. And… while the red-haired Mandalorian HAD made it clear she was intending to ask him questions once she won, she’d also flat out stated that she didn’t REALLY care what was going on between Fett and the Jedi. How true that was, was certainly still up in the air. Still…

“So, baby Jedi, how do you want to do this? As the challenged, I’ll let you set the terms.”

Of course. And then she’d almost certainly judge him for them no matter what he chose. Decision made, Tylo projects utter serenity and tranquility as he stands before her, head held high.

“No terms, save for no maiming and no killing. Otherwise… I don’t want either of us to hold back.”

Bo-Katan’s eyes widen, her helmet still resting on her hip at the moment, preventing her reaction from being visually hidden. Of course, even if she’d been wearing the helmet, he would have still heard her surprise through her thoughts.

Oh wow. This Padawan DOES have balls. Is he really that arrogant? I suppose I’ll have to take him down a notch then…

Tylo holds back the urge to wince at what she’s thinking. Unfortunately, it seemed no matter what he declared; she was still set on judging him. Unavoidable, almost certainly. And too late to take back his choice now, wasn’t it?

All he can do is shuck off his Jedi Robes and fold them up, setting them aside and moving back to the center of the room as he faces off with Bo-Katan. In the time he was away, she went ahead and put her helmet on, sealing it tight just in time for them to stand across from each other. There’s no countdown. But the feeling of tension in the air is certainly palpable, and when Bo-Katan finally acts, Tylo is at least ready for it.

Now!

Without his lightsaber, Tylo has no choice but to dodge as Kryze quickdraws her blaster pistols and begins to fire on him. With the aid of the Force, he can jump away from where she’s shooting, staying ahead of the rain of bolts. Thankfully, his focus on lightsaber combat has also resulted in a focus on using the Force to enhance his base physical attributes. He is effectively faster and stronger than your average sentient, and it shows as he dashes ever closer to Kryze, trying to close the distance between them.

He's certainly fast!

Unfortunately, while Bo-Katan is at least a little surprised by his speed, she’s not so taken aback that he’s able to catch her. Before he can finish closing the distance, she’s blasted backwards and up a dozen feet into the air, her jetpack activating and giving her lift.

In that split second, Tylo has to make a decision. Try to leap up to her or try and pull her back down. He chooses the latter, but unfortunately, he’s a lot less practiced with using the Force on other entities, then on himself. As he sets his stance and tries to drag her out of the air, Kryze wavers only briefly, her jetpack’s lift too much for him to overcome as she sights down her pistols at him… and fires.

Tylo can’t get out of the way in time, which is why, luckily enough, she’s not actually aiming for him, but the ground at his feet. He yelps as he’s thrown clear, his stance broken. He lands on his back with a thump, and before he can even think to get up, a boot is on his chest and a blaster pistol is in his face.

“What the fuck was that, baby Jedi?”

What IS he doing!? Where the hell is his lightsaber?

Rather than answer her, Tylo puts his hands up, face blank.

“Your win, I suppose. Good spar.”

For a long moment, Bo-Katan stands there still. Then, she snarls.

Is he looking down on me, this little Jedi? I’ll fucking kill him!

Tylo would have been worried, but he can tell the difference between anger and actual malice. Bo-Katan doesn’t mean it, not even when it comes from the sanctity of her own mind.

“No, it wasn’t, and you damn well know it Padawan. Where the fuck is your lightsaber?”

Well, he’s not about to tell her that the littlest Fett stole it off of him. Not in a million years. But at the same time, he had to give some sort of answer, didn’t he?

“… Lost it.”

A partial truth is better than an outright lie, and while Tylo can’t see her facial expressions play out thanks to the helmet, he still knows exactly what Bo-Katan is thinking.

He LOST it?! Isn’t a lightsaber like, a crucial part of their identity or something?! And he LOST it?! No, more than that… he fucking agreed to a no holds barred spar with me WITHOUT his signature weapon?! This fucking kid…

He didn’t like being referred to as a ‘kid’, but it wasn’t like he could say anything about it. It was HER mind, after all. Still, he’s a little surprised when Bo-Katan steps off his chest and holsters her pistols, offering him a hand. It’s only as he takes it, that he picks up her next thought.

We’re not done here…

The moment he’s on his feet, she snarls.

“We’re going another round.”

Before Tylo can even decide if he wants to protest that or not, she lifts her gauntlets and discharges two blades from hidden compartments. One of them, she flips over-end and holds out the handle of to him. Not seeing much choice, he takes the knife from her, hefting it and getting a feel for its weight. Bo-Katan, meanwhile, takes a step back… and then drops into a combat stance, holding her knife with clear expertise, the sharp tip pointed directly at his face.

“Ready, Jedi?”

Ready or not, here I come…

Somehow, he didn’t think she’d take no for an answer here. And so, Tylo tries his best to find a stance of his own and gives one simple nod. In an instant, Bo-Katan is upon him, and only his enhanced senses let him keep up with her natural speed.

With a weapon in his hands, he’s at least a modicum more comfortable. But a knife is no lightsaber. Still, there’s at least some bleed-over between the two weapons. And more than that, he has his own secret weapon to rely upon… Bo-Katan’s thoughts. Of course, while on paper that might seem like an insurmountable, incredibly unfair advantage, in practice… not so much.

A lesser fighter, Tylo would be able to take advantage of. He could probably run circles around the vast majority of two-bit mercenaries and bounty hunters in the galaxy. Those who had to think through their actions, who had to decide before they struck HOW they were going to struck… Tylo would ALWAYS have a leg up on them.

But Bo-Katan Kryze was no two-bit mercenary. She was a warrior, and with that came a warrior’s instincts. It was the kind of thing Tylo had only learned from Master Antana. The Jedi Blademaster could get so in the zone so to speak, that her mind no longer connected to her actions. Or more specifically, her attacks were no longer telegraphed by her mind, because she was working off of built-in conditioning, ingrained fighting instinct.

That was what he was experiencing here and now with Bo-Katan as well, and the Mandalorian woman… well, she was picking him apart.

“Dead.”

Her blade stops just shy of his throat, before pulling back. A moment later, they’re fighting again. Or rather, she’s attacking him, and he’s defending himself.

“Dead.”

The point of her knife is half an inch from carving out his abdomen this time, and once more she pulls back. They go again, another pass, another frantic defense. Tylo is doing all he can, truly he is… but she’s fast. Just as fast as him, but better with the blade. It’s… honestly a little infuriating.

“Dead.”

…

“Dead.”

…

“Dead.”

Again and again, Bo-Katan stops just short of what would be a fatal blow. It’s gone from a spar to some twisted mixture of bullying and teaching, from what Tylo can tell. And worst of all… Kryze is having the time of her life. The Mandalorian has gotten over her own indignation at his initial attitude and is thoroughly enjoying herself now. Possibly because she knows she’s pissing him off. No, scratch that… Tylo KNOWS its because she knows she’s pissing him off.

Heh, getting angry, little Padawan? Maybe try harder. Haven’t had this much fun in way too long, I must say…

She’s relentless. Unstoppable. And altogether unforgiving. Tylo tries, of course he does. Even if Master Yoda’s famous words are ‘Do or Do Not, there is no Try’, Tylo is definitely still fucking trying. But he can’t so much as get his knife close to any weak points in her armor, not under her chin, not near the armpits, nothing.

Bo-Katan, on the other hand…

“Dead.”

As she once again manages what would have been a fatal move, this time with the knife point a mere inch from one of his eyes… Tylo sees red. And before he can stop himself, before he can hold it back or filter out his negative emotions or any number of things he SHOULD have been doing as a Jedi… Tylo’s free hand comes up, and he snarls as he grabs at Bo-Katan’s throat with the Force.

Closing off her windpipe is incredibly easy, as it turns out. The Mandalorian, startled, takes a step back as she chokes, her own free hand going to her neck as the knife she has pointed at him wavers.

What? What is this?

Feeling a burst of satisfaction at finally having her off-guard, Tylo smirks and grips down even harder. He’s having a bit of a breakthrough. Using the Force to pull her down from on high earlier when she was using that jet pack of hers was too difficult. But this? Using the Force to crush her throat beneath that damn armor of hers? So much easier. So, so much easier…

It’s only as Bo-Katan Kryze drops to her knees, her choking growing even louder, that Tylo realizes what he’s doing. Just as the woman is reaching for something on one of her wrists, likely to neutralize him, the Jedi Padawan yanks his hand back and releases the Force Choke he had her in. Staring at that hand as if it betrayed him, Tylo can’t help but be horrified.

That… that was the Dark Side, wasn’t it? Even now, he could feel it lurking within him. Hastily, he cycles his emotions, a standing meditation that releases all the negativity he’d let build up back into the Force. He pushes away the Dark Side with all his might, but as a result, he’s more than a little distracted when Kryze finally retaliates, slamming into him, tackling him to the ground, and placing her blade at his throat.

Tylo freezes in place, knowing better than to move. That said, if he’s to die here, he wants his conscience to be clear. And so, he looks up into the unreadable helmet covering Bo-Katan’s face and speaks clearly and concisely.

“I apologize. I lost control.”

The angry Mandalorian hesitates at that, and then cocks her head to the side.

The little freak nearly killed me, and that’s all he has to say? Fuck, was that what these Jedi are capable of when they go dark? No wonder Fett hates them all so much…

Tylo just lays still, recognizing that he’s lost this spar multiple times over. And… perhaps it would be better if Bo-Katan kills him here and now. His brush with the Dark Side has left him shaken. He-

Kinda hot, honestly. For a moment, he was actually moderately attractive.

As Bo-Katan flips the blade away from his throat, her thoughts throw Tylo for a loop. He blinks, as his suicidal ideations pass as quickly as they came. He didn’t want to die. Was that some last remnant of the Dark Side talking? He didn’t know, all he knew was that Kryze was suddenly not angry… no, if anything, she was starting to sound aroused, mentally speaking.

“You’ll apologize by answering my questions back in my quarters, baby Jedi. And if you’re very good, then perhaps I’ll even give you a treat.”

Tylo keeps his face expressionless but accepts Kryze’s hand when she stands up and offers it to him again. He just got his ass handed to him by the Mandalorian woman, so it wasn’t like he really had room to argue or disagree at this point. They would go to her quarters, and what would happen there… would happen.

However, unbeknownst to Bo-Katan, she was, in a way, putting the ball in his court. She had no way of knowing it of course, but… if there was one arena in which Tylo Vondin was as good or BETTER than he was at lightsaber combat at this point… it was sex. Yes, while it wasn’t exactly something he would list out loud or anything like that when it came to his best skills, his sexual experience was nevertheless incredibly high… and thanks to Master Luminara, he was VERY good at using the Force to make sex go his way.

Given he’d sexually dominated literal Jedi Masters with the Force, doing the same to Bo-Katan Kryze shouldn’t be outside of the realm of possibility. No, rather, he should be able to utterly rock her world. The only question was… did he trust himself to do so?

His brush with the Dark Side had left him shaken, there was no denying that. Who knew when it would rear its ugly head again? He was mostly clear-headed now, his anger and frustration released back into the Force… and yet, could he really afford to risk it?