A Perverted Galaxy Far Far Away Ch. 29 (Star Wars) (Patreon)

A/N: Tylo is decidedly not infallible. But still, this one will sting for some time to come.

-x-X-x-

He can’t just say nothing. But he also balks at telling them the whole, unvarnished truth. Likewise, lying to them sounds like a recipe for disaster even in the half a moment he takes to think about it. In the end, there’s only one option, even if it feels like it’s probably likely to have the smallest impact.

“Masters!”

Stepping up alongside Master Kenobi, Tylo makes himself known. Beside him, Obi-Wan jolts, but the Padawan simply forges onward, not even stopping to listen in on the Jedi Master’s thoughts in that moment. He needs to get some sort of warning out, regardless.

“Masters, I apologize for the interruption, but I have felt strange ever since we arrived on Kamino! There is danger here, and not from the Bounty Hunter alone!”

A brief pause, and then Master Windu’s voice comes over the comm.

“Elaborate, Padawan.”

“Yes, Master! I cannot say with absolute certainty, but I get a sense of danger from the Kaminoan Prime Minister. I believe he’s hiding something from us. Something to do with the Clones!”

Before Master Windu or Grand Master Yoda can respond, Master Kenobi leans forward, speaking clearly over the rain pelting them from above. Perhaps it’s the weather that’s prompting the irritation in Obi-Wan’s voice… but no, Tylo quickly gets the impression that it’s not.

“I cannot say that I felt any of the same, Masters! Prime Minister Lama Su seemed quite proud of what they’d accomplished but barring that I detected no clear subterfuge!”

Where is the padawan getting this? I know we didn’t have time for him to mention this before, but not every feeling is from the Force…

Tylo can’t help but grimace. It would have been nice if Master Kenobi had been able to back him up, but unfortunately the Jedi Master appears to be blinded somehow in this instance. To be fair, it wasn’t like Tylo had actually used the Force to suss out the Prime Minister’s deceit in the first place. He’d used his mutant ability, reading the alien’s mind.

It was possible that the Kaminoans’ strange physiology made them harder to read in the Force, or maybe something else was blocking him from seeing the truth. Since Tylo hadn’t tried to use the Force in that way, having always relied on his inherent mind reading instead, he couldn’t say. That said, he wasn’t just going to let this lie.

Clearing his throat, he once more raises his voice over the torrential rains coming down upon their heads. It might not make Obi-Wan any happier with him, but he HAD to try.

“Masters, forgive me, but isn’t it obvious that something is going on here? These things have to be connected in some way, right? For the same Bounty Hunter hired to kill Senator Amidala to be the primary template for a hidden army supposedly commissioned by the Jedi… it smacks of conspiracy!”

“You’re leaping at shadows, Padawan! Please, be quiet while we finish our transmission!”

Tylo bristles but steps back, lips thinning out as he shuts his mouth. Fine… fine! He tried, at least. Pulling in on his emotions, working to calm down his roiling thoughts, Tylo resolves to go directly to Master Windu or Grand Master Yoda when he’s back on Coruscant. He won’t just let this lie, not knowing what he knows. He-

“Mindful of your feelings, you must be, Obi-Wan. Right, Padawan Vondin may yet prove to be. All of this, most suspect it is.”

Tylo blinks in surprise and straightens up, having to tamp down on the sudden surge of pride at having Master Yoda in his corner. Obi-Wan, meanwhile, hunches in his shoulders a bit, looking more like a chastised youngling then a Jedi Master for a second. But then, to be fair, Yoda was Yoda, and capable of making even the most accomplished Jedi feel like they’d fucked up.

“Still, change nothing this does. Even more important, bringing the Bounty Hunter to us, this makes. Question her, we will.”

Repeating his final four words, that sense of finality returns, and this time Tylo doesn’t step up in order to halt it. The transmission ends a moment later, and he and Obi-Wan are left alone in the rain. When the Jedi Master turns towards him, Tylo is sure he’s in for a talking to, especially since he can hear Obi-Wan’s annoyance in his mind.

However, despite the uncharitable thoughts he’s detecting from Master Kenobi, the older Jedi ultimately holds his tongue, the Grand Master’s chastisement still fresh in his mind no doubt.

“Come. We have a Bounty Hunter to apprehend.”

Tylo nods and follows Master Kenobi back into the Kaminoan city, back out of the rain. Hopefully, this wouldn’t be too difficult…

-x-X-x-

He’d jinxed it. Of course, he had. Janga and Boba Fett are not in their quarters. The two women have already left by the time he and Kenobi return there. Becoming somewhat frantic, the Jedi Master hurriedly leads them further on, until they arrive at another landing platform. There, what can only be the Bounty Hunter’s ship resides, with its loading ramp down and two figures working to fill it up for a hot exit.

As he and Obi-Wan come out of the door and back into the torrential rains, the smaller of the two figures, a child that can only be Janga Fett’s payment in the form of that unmodified clone the Kaminoans were talking about, is the first to notice them. Boba Fett’s eyes widen, and she points in their direction.

“Mom! Look!”

Whipping around, a fully armed and armored Janga Fett reacts quickly, drawing two blasters from her waist and beginning to fire on them. Tylo has his lightsaber up and deflecting blaster bolts only half a moment behind Obi-Wan, and as the Jedi Master advances, Tylo does as well. Neither of them fail to notice Boba scrambling deeper into the ship either, even with the healthy amount of attention they both need to pay to the bigger threat, Janga.

“Padawan! Stop the take off!”

“Yes, Master!”

As far as orders go, this isn’t one Tylo is going to have any trouble following. As Obi-Wan and Janga engage in battle, Tylo goes largely unnoticed as the ship turns towards them, conveniently leaving the opening at it’s back facing his way. With a single Force-Powered Leap, he’s able to jump into the ship… just as its cannons fire on Master Kenobi with explosive force.

Tylo can only hope the Jedi Master is alright, forging onward in favor of disabling the ship’s guns as swiftly as possible. He quickly arrives at the cockpit, where Boba doesn’t fail to notice him almost immediately.

“Osik!”

“Get away from the controls, kid. Play time is over.”

Boba’s face scrunches up in irritation at that, and far from doing as he says, she clutches at the controls of the ship even harder. Tylo, with his lightsaber out, advances cautiously, ready to act if she squeezes those triggers and fires on Kenobi again. Outside, through the view plate, he can see the stray lights and explosions caused by the Jedi Master’s fight with the Bounty Hunter, but it’s all a step removed at the moment. In here, it’s just him and Boba.

He's about to open his mouth and tell the child to once again stand down, when he catches a glint in her eye… and a stray thought from her mind.

Just one step further osi’kovid…

He’d like to say it’s the foreign tongue that throws him off, but the truth is, he’s already in the process of taking that last step when he catches Boba’s thought. Distracted as he was, with his attention split in far too many directions at once, Tylo… hadn’t really considered the child to be a threat. And so, even with all the advantages at his disposal, he’s completely taken off guard when she lets GO of the controls instead of firing on Obi-Wan again and reaches up to flick a switch.

A moment later, and a torrent of electricity crashes into Tylo’s being, shocking him quite badly and making him shout hoarsely as his lightsaber drops from nerveless fingers, deactivating and falling to the floor. He gasps as he soon joins it, dropping to his knees as Boba gets up and stomps over to him.

“Stupid jetii.”

Then, with a surprisingly perfect form, she whirls about in a high kick that crashes right into his spasming, frozen face… and Tylo knows no more as darkness takes him.

-x-X-x-

“Padawan! Padawan, now is no time to be sleeping on the job!”

Jolting back to consciousness under the combined efforts of Obi-Wan shaking him and rain pelting him from above, Tylo opens his eyes blearily, his… everything incredibly sore as he tries to process what happened and where he is. Taking in his surroundings reveals that he’s laid out on the ground, pressed up against the lip of the now-empty landing platform.

“Padawan? What happened?!”

Groaning, Tylo tries to shake off the effects of the trap he’d walked into, even as he puts his thoughts into order.

“… The clone got the better of me, Master. Shocked me something fierce, and then knocked me out. She must have… she must have rolled my unconscious body down the ramp after the fact.”

He was lucky to be alive, frankly. Boba could have killed him but hadn’t. Maybe she was still too young for that. But not too young to fucking trick him! Fuck, he’d been completely caught off guard by a child! And worst of all… his lightsaber was missing!

“Master! They have my lightsaber!”

Master Kenobi’s face had been understanding and solemn up until that revelation. Then, almost as if Tylo’s words have physically pained him, he closes his eyes tightly and sighs.

What is it with Padawans and their lightsabers? I swear to the Force…

“Padawan, your lightsaber is your life! You MUST keep better hold of it!”

Tylo flushes at that, knowing full well where Obi-Wan’s exasperation truly stems from. After all, Kenobi was Annie’s Master, but Tylo was her best friend. He was well aware of the other Padawan’s propensity for losing lightsabers. Force, he’d helped Annie build a few of the replacements when she was in a rush!

By comparison, he didn’t think Obi-Wan’s admonishment was all that fair. This was the first time he’d lost a saber! More than that, it wasn’t like he’d had much of a choice, really. Boba had caught him in that electrical trap, and he hadn’t gotten a chance to retrieve his weapon before she’d knocked him unconscious.

For a moment, Tylo is quiet and mulish… before noting Obi-Wan’s disheveled appearance, and once again recognizing that their quarry was gone. It’s unbecoming of him and he knows it, but he can’t help himself. Putting the most innocent look he can on his face, Tylo looks up at Obi-Wan.

“And how did your battle turn out, Master?”

He makes sure there’s no accusation in his tone, asking it as seemingly innocently as he can. In response, Obi-Wan scowls and shakes his head, offering Tylo his hand.

“Never mind that, Padawan. On your feet now. They might have gotten away, but I was able to get a tracker on their ship before they did. Come on, we need to move quickly if we are to update the Council one last time before we follow them.”

Taking the hand and letting Obi-Wan pull him to his feet, Tylo nods resolutely. He’d love to get a rematch with that girl and get his lightsaber back as well. He wouldn’t underestimate her again, that was for sure!

-x-X-x-

… An hour later, Tylo stands on his and Kenobi’s landing platform, staring up as he watches the Jedi Master’s ship rise into the air and then fly off planet. He’s… been left behind. Perhaps he should have seen that coming. Unfortunately, it had still blindsided him.

The loss of his saber, combined with the increasing danger of the assignment and the evolving nature of the situation had led to Masters Windu and Yoda making a… questionable decision. Alright, so maybe it wasn’t questionable. Maybe it was only questionable in Tylo’s eyes because it resulted in him not only being sidelined, but also being stuck on planet surrounded by what he felt were enemies.

Yes, he’d been left behind on Kamino. After a moment of watching Kenobi’s ship depart to chase after the Bounty Hunter, Tylo sighs and turns to get back inside, out of the rain at least. He’d been told that Master Yoda was already on route to assess this Clone Army, while Master Windu was mobilizing the Jedi to back up Obi-Wan. Whatever happened next, Tylo was effectively stuck on Kamino until Master Yoda showed up to get him… a daunting prospect to say the least.

It wasn’t all bad though, he supposed. He could, perhaps, try and talk to Master Yoda like he’d resolved to do, once the aging Jedi Master reached the planet. If he could get Master Yoda alone, he could give more hints, more tidbits… maybe name drop the Sith, or something? In the meantime, he had the run of the place, as the only Jedi Liaison on planet.

But what did that REALLY mean? The Kaminoans, even if they were in league with the Sith, couldn’t actually do anything to him when the Grand Master of the Jedi Order was already on his way, right? Or maybe they could and would try to get away with it by deeming it an accident. A shiver runs down Tylo’s spine at the thought, and he presses his lips together thinly.

Was he really going to let that stop him from snooping though? Or-

“Baby Jedi, all alone, so far from home. That was quite the little sortie there, between you and Janga. Any reason why you picked a fight with her?”

Tylo stiffens, suddenly very aware of his lack of a weapon as he finds himself once again face to face with Bo-Katan Kryze. The only thing that keeps his nerves from completely going haywire is that she’s got her helmet off and resting on her hip, and her armored gauntlets nowhere near her holstered blaster. Instead, she’s looking at him with a curious smile, not accusatory in the least… almost as if she doesn’t even care.

Wonder what sent Janga running like that. Running afoul of the Jedi… I’m surprised she didn’t just kill the both of them and force the Kaminoans to cover it up. But maybe that doesn’t fit in with her scheme.

Processing that thought, Tylo opens his mouth to reply, but Bo-Katan cuts him off.

“I don’t actually really care. Actually, let’s make it interesting, shall we? I’m much more interested in a spar. Let’s have a fight, you and me. When I win, then you can answer my questions. Sound fun?”

Suddenly, Tylo feels very much in danger. Bo-Katan Kryze grins at him, leaning forward with a predator’s intent now. And of course, his mind reading ability lets him know that’s exactly what she is.

Questions… and a bit of fun, too. Maybe I’ll finally find out what my sister saw in Kenobi, all those years ago~

There was no question what Bo-Katan wanted from him. The only question was, was he going to give in? Spar her, likely hand to hand given his lack of a saber, and potentially lose? Or snub her so he could go snooping around Kamino for more answers before Master Yoda’s arrival?

Tch, would she even let him snub her if he refused the spar? COULD she force the issue, given his current protected status among the Kaminoans?