A Perverted Galaxy Far Far Away Ch. 85 (Star Wars) (Patreon)

A/N: A duel is had. One might say... a duel of the fates? Nah. That just sounds silly :P

-x-X-x-

Fuck it.

“I will challenge you.”

The atmosphere in the room goes still. Everyone’s eyes turn from Vizsla to Tylo in a single moment. None are more stunned than Pre Vizsla himself, however. The self-proclaimed Mandalore looks down at Tylo aghast, though the helmet hides most of his facial expression. But then, Tylo has never needed to see someone’s face to know their emotional state.

This man truly begins to vex me.

“… Excuse me?”

There’s a note of menace in Vizsla’s voice, and Tylo puts it at a non-zero chance that depending on how he answers, the Mandalorian might just decide to reject the challenge altogether and have his guards attack full force. Fortunately, Tylo has become quite adept at manipulating Pre Vizsla in a very short amount of time. He keeps his tone steady, his voice confident but not overly confrontational.

“You have revealed the Darksaber. You have claimed the title of Mandalore. You have laid down a challenge to all in this room. But I have not seen you fight. My honor will not allow me to pledge mine or my clan’s loyalty without seeing you do battle firsthand. This is the way.”

That brings the Death Watch leader pause. Pre Vizsla leans back, considering Tylo’s words. He’d stolen that last part from Talya, but it had seemed like the thing to do. And indeed…

Tch. His Clan comes from old, traditional roots. He probably means every word. And… he’s right in a way. It’s one thing to reveal the Darksaber and proclaim myself Mandalore. But the story will be that much better if it comes with me defeating some upstart Clan Head in a duel to solidify my position and prove my worthiness.

Tylo barely has to even do any convincing. Pre Vizsla is intent on convincing himself. It’s almost like the man believes his own shit doesn’t stink… and hell, maybe he does. From what Tylo has heard from Janga and the others, as well as seen with his own eyes, Death Watch are terrorist scum, full stop. There’s nothing Mandalorian about them except for their beskar armor.

But it’s clear that Pre Vizsla still thinks he has honor. He still considers himself Mandalorian, perhaps the purest Mandalorian of all.

“… Very well. I accept your challenge, Vondin. Choose your weapons.”

This next part though… well, in for a credit, in for a credstick right? Tilting his head to the side, Tylo smiles beneath his helmet.

“Sabers only will be fine.”

Then, leaning over, he reaches into a hidden compartment on one of his legs and pulls forth his lightsaber. A hush falls over the room as everyone looks at him in amazement… albeit for very different reasons. Tylo can feel the eyes of his women on him and knows that they’re probably all thinking varying degrees of ‘how could he be so stupid?’ right now.

However, Tylo has one thing going for him… refuge in audacity. Why would a Jedi Infiltrator pull out a lightsaber in the middle of a Death Watch Meeting? Simple, really. He wouldn’t.

Jetii Killer.

Meeting the eyes of every single Mandalorian in his current field of view, Tylo hears the same thought from each and every one. Their first instinct isn’t to assume he’s a Jetii… but rather that he killed a Jetii and took their blade. Either that or he stole it from some battlefield. After all, there were a lot of Jedi out there in the galaxy right now waging war. And most of them weren’t coming back home.

“… You continue to prove to be full of surprises, Vondin. Though I fear this will be a lopsided contest unless you’ve been training with that blade.”

Tylo shrugs his armored shoulders, even as he looks down at the hilt in his hands somewhat fondly.

“I have trained with it since the moment I first laid hands on it, Governor. It has been a useful tool in many a situation.”

All true, of course. With nothing else to say, Pre finally descends from his throne. As he does so, he gives not-quite-hidden signals to his guards and they form a circle, but Tylo doesn’t fret, able to tell from his mind that Vizsla intends to take this duel very seriously. He wont cheat Tylo… at least not yet. After all, he’s convinced he can win this thing fairly.

“Then we shall fight to surrender, if you are unopposed to it.”

Though if I see an opportunity, I wouldn’t mind removing him from the board entirely. That way his women can be utilized… appropriately.

Tylo narrows his eyes at that, trusting his helmet to hide his reaction. Otherwise, he gives nothing away even as Pre Vizsla raises the Darksaber up.

Snap-Hiss!

His own blue saber comes to life from his hilt, feeling at home in his palms as the two of them face off. With the full use of the Force, Tylo would have no uncertainty about the outcome of this duel. However, he cannot fully utilize the Force here. Not without giving the game away. Instead, he must match Vizsla’s tempo and fight like a Mandalorian utilizing the enemy’s weapon. Not an easy task, but also… not entirely impossible given the singular advantage Tylo has.

He’d long since learned to never take his eye off the prize, so to speak. As he and Vizsla have their opening clashes, Tylo is reminded of some of the more ignoble defeats he’s suffered over the years. The most embarrassing one was definitely letting Boba Fett get one over on him in her mother’s ship while he was trying to secure it. He’d lost a lightsaber then, but the humiliation was the worst part.

It had been Tylo’s own fault, of course. He’d underestimated Boba. After the fact, he’d swore to himself that he would never underestimate an opponent like that, ever again.

Somehow, he doesn’t think telling Vizsla even an abridged version of that story would go over well. Oh yes, a Foundling got the better of me a couple years back so I’m taking you much more seriously. The comparison alone would no doubt enrage the Death Watch Leader.

If this were a fight instead of a duel, Tylo might have said something, but instead he keeps himself quiet. Calm. Focused. Centered. The Force is with him, even if he can’t utilize it in any overt fashion.

They clash there in the center of the chamber as Tylo’s allies and Vizsla’s guards all watch on. The lightsabers lock together more than once, even as Tylo finds himself growing accustomed to Pre Vizsla’s tempo… and the Darksaber’s unique properties. This is no ordinary blade. No ordinary saber.

The Darksaber is a weapon made for offense over defense, judging by the shape of its blade. Most lightsabers, both Sith and Jedi alike, are cylindrical. A bar of contained plasma powered by the kyber crystal in the hilt. The plasma blade of the Darksaber on the other hand, is sharper on one side and flatter on the other.

Tylo has never seen anything like it before, and even as he and Vizsla clash, he can feel the Darksaber trying to chew through his own blade. If allowed to lock for too long, he wonders if the sharpened, narrowed edge of the black plasma blade would be enough to disrupt a normal lightsaber blade.

He doesn’t care to find out of course, ending most exchanges and blade locks before they can extend for too long. As he does so, he gets the measure of Pre Vizsla more and more. The man is well-trained. For all that he’s a Governor under the Duchess’ Administration, he hasn’t allowed himself to grow soft or rest on his laurels. He fights well, and he’s clearly practiced with the Darksaber intensively.

And yet… he’s lacking the connection to the Force that would take him from merely good to great. On top of that, the Darksaber almost seems to have this weight to it. A weight that Vizsla has clearly learned to offset, but also a weight that taxes him even now.

Tylo could win this duel; he comes to realize. He could win it rather easily simply by tiring the other man out. He might not be able to use the Force overtly, instead forcing himself to match Vizsla’s pace and avoid any dramatic displays of strength or speed or power, but he can still pull on the Force to keep his physical energy topped up. His stamina is practically endless like this.

Unfortunately, Pre Vizsla is not so weak a warrior that he can’t realize this fact. The Death Watch Leader might not know Tylo is using the Force to do it, but he’s got decent enough battle-sense to recognize that of the two of them, he’s flagging faster.

Damn it. What is this man made of? Tch, need to end this sooner rather than later. Time to take things up a notch.

Fortunately, Tylo sees it coming a mile away for obvious reasons. Pre Vizsla feints an attack from the side, only to activate his jetpack at the last second in a manner that drives him forward far faster than he otherwise would have been capable of. The Darksaber is chambered into his side as he does so, pointed unerringly at Tylo’s chest for what would have been a killing blow if it had been allowed to land.

Tylo brings his own lightsaber around and sweeps the Darksaber from the side. However, the weight of the sword does not allow him to completely turn Vizsla’s blade away. Thankfully he already knew this and was moving his body at the same time as his saber, shifting to the side so that the Darksaber plunges into empty air instead of his chest.

Letting out a roar, Vizsla keeps up his assault and steadily loses his cool more and more in the process.

Die! Die! Die!

He’s tempted to make some sort of witty quip, but it wouldn’t be productive in this situation. Instead he remains perfectly calm and completely composed. His win condition remains unchanged, after all. If anything… Vizsla only serves to hasten his own defeat, using up more of his energy in the ensuing minutes of struggle. The harder he pushes himself, the more likely he is to falter and provide an opening that Tylo can utilize to end this.

The moment arrives sooner than either man expects, though that doesn’t stop Tylo from capitalizing on it. Vizsla overextends in the midst of his angry offensive and Tylo, barely even having to think about it, ducks under a swing from the Darksaber and slashes his lightsaber across Vizsla’s chest. The beskar holds back the majority of the blow, but beskar armor is not all encompassing. On either side of Vizsla’s beskar chestplate, Tylo’s saber scores a line across the Death Watch Leader’s under armor.

Mandalorian Under Armor was Blaster Proof of course, but not lightsaber proof. The under armor parts light butter to Tylo’s blade, causing the Death Watch Leader to hiss and yank himself back at the sudden burning pain.

Fuck!

Of course, that’s when Vizsla decides to cheat. One might argue he’s operating on instinct and it’s not his fault, and Tylo would even agree based on the man’s panicked thoughts. Even still, they’d both agreed to ‘sabers only’. Sure, Tylo had been cheating all along probably by utilizing the Force to keep himself topped off stamina-wise… but his cheating was invisible. Pre Vizsla activating the flamethrowers in his vambraces in order to force Tylo back so he could put some distance between them… was not.

Even as Tylo backpedals, the flames aren’t too damaging. His Beskar protects him, as it should, and Vizsla cuts off the attack after a moment anyways, no doubt realizing what he’s done.

Silence falls over the room as everyone stares. They’d all heard Tylo say ‘Sabers only will be fine’ after all. They’d all watched the pair duel with nothing but their blades for the last several furious minutes of fighting. There’s an argument to be made here that Vizsla just forfeited the fight.

If he says anything, I’ll order my men to attack. I’ve entertained this farce long enough.

Of course, Tylo isn’t about to make that argument. Not while there’s still a chance that he can settle this on his own terms without having to involve the others. Instead, after a long pregnant moment of silence, Tylo raises his blade, making it clear that he’s ready to continue. Vizsla startles at this and goes to do the same, only…

“The challenge is done. Pre Vizsla has forfeited his honor and any chance of victory by use of weapons from outside the duel’s parameters.”

Unlike Tylo, Janga couldn’t read minds. But even if she could, he’s not sure she would have been able to stay quiet any longer. The disguised Mandalorian Woman has stepped into the circle, her hands on the blasters holstered at her hips as she speaks clearly and concisely. Pre Vizsla has stiffened, as have the Death Watch guards encircling the three of them.

This bitch… who the fuck does she think she is? Enough of this. I’ll be sure to teach her a lesson about respecting her betters once she’s in my grasp.

Before Tylo can intercede, though truthfully he doesn’t know how he would do so to begin with, Vizsla shuts off the Darksaber and takes a step back.

“Enough of this farce! Take them all, dead or alive!”

All around them, Death Watch immediately acts, raising blasters in Tylo and Janga’s direction. But there is that one silver lining. Because of how the dueling ring had been formed, their other allies are on the outside, including Ursa Wren. Tylo and Janga are surrounded… but the others are far freer to act.

Without missing a beat, Janga draws her blasters and begins to fire. Talya yanks back one of the Death Watch guards with her magnetic tongs, pulling him off his feet and slamming her gravity hammer into the center of his chest in a visceral display of violence.

Rook Kast, Kosta Reeves, and even little Boba Fett all pull blasters as well, forcing the Death Watch Guards to split their focus, half of them turning to deal with the enemies at their backs while the other half converge on him and Janga. And of course, Ursa Wren attacks Vizsla and his Death Watch goons from behind in the other direction, causing the wielder of the Darksaber to whip around in astonishment and outrage.

… And then there’s the others. Aayla, Maris, Ahsoka, and Asajj all hesitate for a moment. On the one hand, if they went all out, this battle was probably already a foregone conclusion. On the other hand, not everyone on their side was aware of their status as Jedi. How would Ursa, but more importantly Talya, react to finding out that they’d sided with Jedi?

Was it really worth risking their lives by not having them go all out though?