Hungry Heart - Book #4 - Ch. 14 (Patreon)

Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four / Chapter Five / Chapter Six / Chapter Seven / Chapter Eight / Chapter Nine / Chapter Ten / Chapter Eleven / Chapter Twelve / Chapter Thirteen 

Chapter Fourteen – Secrets to Make Us Whole

Toru had never been an early riser compared to most people, and particularly his companions, and nothing had changed about that. The only reason he was up and about in the wee hours of the morning was that he couldn’t get a lot of sleep, although, at first, it had seemed that the events of the previous day and night had taken their toll on him.

There was something in his heart, a feeling of excitement paired with fondness at the thought that this had been the place his father had come from before meeting his mate and having Toru as his offspring.

It made him wonder where Lakan’s father was. Elpis was the mother, despite her youthful looks, but there had been no mentions of a sire. Toru felt for Lakan if he had lost his parent recently. The tiger, however, might not welcome his offer of comfort. He was a proud one, and Toru liked him all the better for it. In a world so cold, a weaker leader might have succumbed by now.

The problems the people faced here were on his mind, too. So, without any more dallying, he pushed aside the furs they had been offered to cover themselves with and, while making sure not to rouse Duril from his sleep, proceeded to walk carefully across the thick wooden floors that whined from time to time under his feet.

Unlike him, Duril seemed deep in sleep, so getting out of the room was, in the end, not much of a problem. Toru closed the door behind him and moved down the hallway, wondering at the imposing arches supporting the ceiling and upper floor. That hadn’t been the way he had ever lived, but that didn’t mean that he could hold back his admiration. The tall columns of granite were adorned with small flowers and vines, but dirt and mold had gathered in the cracks, making the place appear a lot more desolate than what someone would have thought while looking at it from the outside.

There had to be a reason why the place had suffered so, along with the people it was sheltering. It was something Toru wanted to get to the bottom of, as he felt that they were his people, too, even if he had never been there before.

He went out on the flat roof between two towers, his tiger nimble and finding his way easily to a place that allowed him to take in all of Niverborg with his eyes.

A new dawn was breaking and Toru watched the sun piercing through the darkness, relentless and all-powerful as usual. The entire frozen landscape came alive with each new ray conquering its rightful place in the sky. Niverborg was a home for snow and ice, but it was breathtaking in the light of morning.

“We have the most beautiful sunrises here.”

He turned toward his left to see Elpis walking toward him, wrapped up in her long furs, looking as young as the night before. Even more, the harshness of the crisp air seemed to make her eyes shine brightly, and Toru couldn’t help thinking that maybe there were people who thrived in the cold, as there were plenty who preferred warmth and fire.

“You do,” he said, and shifted into his human, as he didn’t believe it polite to remain in his tiger coat in such company. “What happened here, Elpis?”

“It is as we told you already.” The woman walked toward the tall granite wall that stood between them and the steep incline below. Toru had checked the height already. Even for him, it would be a troublesome effort to jump down without hurting himself. The Niverborg castle was a fortress in the true meaning of the word. But it looked like it hadn’t helped its inhabitants if the enemy hadn’t assailed its impenetrable walls.

He took in Elpis’ proud profile from the side. She was staring out over the vast expanse of white, as if there was something there she intended to see even if she had to stay like that for a long time. Eventually, she appeared to remember that he was still there.

“Your father, Aneros, he was an ambitious man,” she started.

“I knew him very little. When Hekastfet threatened the world, he marched on Scercendusa with my mother.” The night before, it had been a matter of the time being late and of not antagonizing their hosts, but now, Toru desired with all his heart to make things clear.

“Hekastfet. I do not know the name,” Elpis replied. “Is that something the hermit you told us about must have erased from my mind, as well?” She threw him a short amused look. Maybe she didn’t believe in hermits and tricksters and whatnot. Toru intended to convince her otherwise.

“I don’t think so. Not many know of it. A cursed name, hidden from the world.” Toru leaned against the wall and looked at Elpis. “What can you tell me about my father? Did you know him well?”

This time, the look she gave him was filled with fondness. “I knew him as well as anyone can know a person other than themselves.”

Toru turned her words in his mind on all sides. “Don’t tell me, are you my aunt?”

Elpis’ eyebrows shot up in surprise and then, she laughed. “No, I’m not your aunt, young kit.”

“Stop calling me that,” Toru bristled. “I’m not that young.”

“You were born after I had Lakan.”

“So, your son is just a little bit older than me. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You two are much alike. He doesn’t like it when I mention his few years on the face of this world, either.”

Toru’s anger thawed a little. She had offered him a compliment, and it would be rude not to acknowledge it. “Lakan is a true warrior and a ruler.”

“He is. Even if he didn’t always want the role.”

That didn’t surprise Toru. After all, for a long time he had traveled the world without caring about saving it. And then, his destiny had become clear to him, and he had had to assume it, whether he wanted to do so or not.

It did make them the same, and with that realization, Toru felt a bond and sense of belonging that grew from his unknown love of Niverborg, the birthplace of his father.

“Has it always been like this for him? Ruling over a place shut away from the world?” he asked.

“Yes. For very little time, he enjoyed Niverborg as it had used to be. Aneros left, and after only a few years, everything started to change. Messengers from all corners of the world came here, telling us of a world falling into the depths of despair out there. And then, they stopped coming. We didn’t know what that meant, not for a while. When we realized that we couldn’t leave, either, that was when we began to realize--” She stopped abruptly, as if she had said too much.

“I want to know everything,” Toru assured her. “And now there are fish in the river, and Lakan said that there hadn’t been before. That must mean that whatever magic walls keep Niverborg separate, they must be coming down.”

Elpis offered him another fond smile. “It is a hopeful sign. And we are thankful for the fish. The young ones ate their fill.”

“And you? Did you like it? I didn’t see you touching your food last night.”

“I can go without eating for a long time,” Elpis explained.

“Is that how you keep yourself so young?”

Laughter that jingled like bells was the answer to that. Elpis came close to him and wrapped one arm around his. “Let me tell you more about your father.”

“I would love to hear more about him, yes.”

***

Varg, Claw, and Duril came together at breakfast, and traded a few significant looks between themselves as they saw the table laden with fish cooked in various ways; roasted, fried, boiled, and poached. It appeared as if the castle inhabitants were trying all the recipes they knew at the same time.

“This must be all the fish Toru and his new friend caught last night,” Varg remarked, while shoveling some in his mouth without guilt. It looked like there was enough for everyone, unlike the night before.

“Neither him, nor Lakan are here,” Claw said. “Are they sleeping late?”

Duril intervened. “Not Toru. He woke up before me, and there was no sign of him as I came here. Did you see him?”

Varg shook his head. “He’s probably interested in exploring the lands. After all, this is where his father came from. He must be at least a little bit curious.”

“And maybe Lakan is showing him around,” Claw suggested.

Just as he said the words, the ruler of Niverborg stepped into the room, looking every bit as young as he was. He had to be around Toru’s age, or maybe a little older, but shapeshifters lived long lives, and it wasn’t always easy to tell how old one of them was. Varg observed the white tiger as he took his place at the head of the table and accepted a full plate courteously from one of the youngest members of his tribe, assigned with serving at the table. Nothing of his sour mood from before could be seen on his handsome face.

“Were there a lot of fish in the river last night?” Varg asked and smiled.

Lakan smiled back. “Toru was right. We’ll have to go back today and fish all we can. We will preserve them so that we can fill our cellars.”

“What about the forest?” Varg asked while one of the servers offered him a beautiful copper cup filled with crystal clear water. Only when he drank from it, he realized that it was alcoholic in nature and had a strong flavor of mountain tree sap. It was refreshing, without going to his head. Its somewhat oily texture coated Varg’s throat and infused it with a pleasant warm sensation.

“What about it?” Lakan leaned back, apparently on the defensive now.

“Can we hunt? We would like to thank you for your hospitality by helping you in your hunt,” Varg explained.

Lakan observed him for a bit and then seemed to decide that he could tell the truth. “There hasn’t been much to hunt in these woods for many years.”

“I see. Nonetheless, I hope you wouldn’t mind showing us around. We haven’t seen such majestic forests in a long time.”

“I am just as curious about your adventures. And how your group came together,” Lakan said as he inclined his head politely.

“After breakfast?” Varg asked, hoping for a positive reply.

“Yes, why not? But first, let’s enjoy our meal.”

Varg looked at Claw, and his companion nodded slightly. Niverborg hadn’t come to its downfall without a reason. They could help Toru by trying to see if they could find anything to clear up the mystery surrounding the place.

***

Toru laughed and jumped on his back, taking him by surprise. He appeared to be in an excellent mood, Duril noticed. He chided him affectionately and, just to prove that he could, he grabbed Toru with his only good arm and hefted him off the ground.

They were a hunting party of sorts, and Toru had only joined them later, accompanied by Elpis. By now, they had all learned that the young-looking woman was actually Lakan’s mother. As intrigued as they had been by that, they hadn’t showed it. A lot of things were different here, and a female shapeshifter not showing her age wasn’t necessarily that surprising.

Toru kissed him on the cheek and rushed after the others. Duril preferred to remain behind and search for roots and plants under the blanket of white. Those dried chestnuts must have come from somewhere, and he had always known that even under the harshest conditions nature had her ways for making some of her children survive. The hardy roots buried in the snow, in a place as beautiful as this, they were a good choice for Duril to complete his bag of remedies and foods.

He brushed with his foot to reveal a root covered by the thick snow. As he had expected, small mushrooms grew along the unearthed root. He picked one delicately and wondered if it was good to eat. Then, he remembered that he actually had the means to ask the most knowledgeable inhabitants of the forest about it.

As he leaned in toward the old bark of the fir tree, he thought he heard a low murmur. He looked around, in search of the origins of the noise, but he didn’t see anything. Since he had been so caught up in his search for roots and other plants, the others had left him behind.

So, it wasn’t them murmuring. Curious of what could be the cause, he put his hand on the bark and wished for the tree to talk to him.

You’re a stranger.

The old fir tree didn’t seem that happy to welcome him, and Duril had noticed that forests and their trees tended to have different moods and ways of being, depending on where they grew.

I am. Could you please tell me—

Hush. She’s talking.

Duril put his ear close to the trunk. The murmuring intensified. Who is she?

His question went unanswered. However, the unintelligible murmur turned into something that he could make words of.

He is here.

Duril squinted while his mind searched for the owner of that familiar female voice. It took him a few moments to realize that it had to be Elpis.

He came with a company of friends. What must he do?

Whoever or whatever Elpis was speaking to either didn’t have a voice or Duril couldn’t hear it. It was apparent that there was a conversation taking place, but without hearing the other party, there was no way of fully understanding what it was all about.

They were talking about Toru. That much he could gather from what he could hear.

Your words make no sense.

Elpis sounded troubled now. Even before, something in her voice was guarded and low.

Am I too weak to understand your message? I refuse. Farewell.

The murmurs stopped.

What do you need, stranger?

The fir tree finally seemed ready to talk to him.

Duril held the small mushroom. Is it edible?

Yes.

He hesitated for a moment. Right before, what was that? Who was Elpis talking to?

Who is Elpis?

The woman talking.

We don’t know an Elpis.

Then who was it?

You’re a stranger.

The fir tree returned to its sullen silence. Duril put the mushroom inside his bag and harvested a few more. Was it possible to ask Elpis directly about the thing he had just heard? But it would look like he had been intruding on a secret conversation. Most likely, she would deny it. Nonetheless, it felt wrong not to try.

And the forest considered him a stranger. Duril trailed after the others, his mind a whirl of thoughts.

***

“I can tell that you’ve been watching me closely for a while now.” Elpis didn’t even look up from the tea she was preparing.

Duril took one more step toward her. “You’re not like the other tigers, are you?” He asked the question quietly, although the cheerful group didn’t appear to be paying them any mind. Although the forest had proven as barren as their hosts knew it to be, the hefty earlier breakfast had given them hope, and that wasn’t something to die out soon.

“What do you mean?” Elpis picked dry leaves from a small pouch of herbs she carried around her neck and let them swirl into the large pot, her eyes drawn to their movement as if there was more to it than the simple making of tea.

“You can talk to the forest.” Duril brought his hand up, the back of it turned toward Elpis, to see if the sight of the symbols on his skin would intrigue her.

Indeed, she looked, but there was no surprise on her face, or she was just too good at hiding it. “And so do you,” she replied without as much as a quirk of an eyebrow. “The bunch around here, they’re morose by nature. What did you ask them?”

“About these mushrooms.” Duril took the earlier harvest out of his bag and showed it to Elpis.

She leaned over and inspected them. “I haven’t seen these in a while. Another miracle, it seems.” When she looked up, her large eyes, light blue like frozen lakes, seemed so deep for a moment that he got dizzy.

She laughed and steadied him with one hand.

“I apologize,” Duril said.

Elpis waved. “You must have heard something.”

Could he trust her? Duril decided that being honest was the right way of dealing with the situation. “I did. But it was only your voice. And the tree didn’t know your name when I asked.”

Elpis moved away, returning to her tea as if nothing of what he was saying could bother her. “I am, indeed, different from other tigers. You must have learned by now that Lakan is my son.”

Duril looked over at the young ruler of Niverborg. He was puffing out his chest and seemed involved in some challenge with Toru, who had taken off his shirt. Yes, he could see Elpis in his young handsome features, the softness of his eyes when he laughed, and the pride when he held his head high.

“The forest was against it,” Elpis continued. “I was, how they say, repudiated.”

“Repudiated?” It seemed to be a strange choice of a word.

Elpis nodded. “Still, the sap of these trees runs through my veins. I know the heart of the forest as if it were still mine.”

Duril rubbed his eyebrow in thought. “Are you a spirit of the forest?”

“A fae,” she replied.

“A fae and a shapeshifter?” Duril expressed his bewilderment at her confession.

“I can take the shape that serves best,” she explained. “Would you like to taste the tea?”

“Of course.” He accepted her ladle and brought it to his lips. The pleasant aroma wafted to his nostrils, causing him to inhale deeply. A soothing feeling wrapped his mind in a warm cocoon. When he gave the ladle back to Elpis, he noticed her deep eyes still on him. He remembered that he wanted to ask her something. “These mushrooms, are they edible?” He had picked them only earlier, and he didn’t know what to make with them. He should have tried asking the trees, but he had needed to hurry after the others.

“Oh, these,” Elpis said. “I haven’t seen these in a while. Another miracle, it seems.”

“Do you mean, like the fish in the river?”

“Yes. Since you people came, things have begun to change, and for the better.” Elpis handed him a full cup.

Duril felt as if he needed to ask her something else, but for the love of all that was holy, he couldn’t remember what it was. Maybe it wasn’t important. He took a sip from Elpis’ tea. “What a comforting aroma,” he complimented her.

“Yes. I learned this recipe a long time ago from my grandmother.”

“Can you share it?”

“I’m afraid it is a family secret,” Elpis apologized. “My grandmother used to say that such secrets make us whole.”

“What a strange thing to say,” Duril remarked. “What do you think she meant by that?”

“I suppose that she wanted to tell us that some things are better to be kept secret from strangers,” Elpis replied.

Stranger. Duril frowned for a moment.

“Take another sip. It will make you feel better, I promise.”

***

“Say, Lakan, why don’t you show us to that fountain of youth?” Toru asked. Although their hunt had proven fruitless, he was keen on discovering more of the secrets of those forests.

“You’re too new around here,” Lakan said. “I can’t just show you everything.” His eyes were laughing, even as he tried to utter those words in the most serious manner.

“You haven’t showed us much,” Toru retorted. “We didn’t see a single animal. Not even a squirrel.”

“All right then. I’ll show you something, but only you.”

Toru liked it how Lakan singled him out and only wanted to do things with him, but the same thing made him feel guilty, too. His friends would love to see a fountain of youth, if it existed.

Varg patted him on the shoulder. “We’re going to scout around, see if we can find anything worth hunting. And Duril is talking to Elpis. You go ahead, Toru, and tell us later what Lakan showed to you.”

That made his guilt disappear. He sauntered after Lakan, happy to run through the snow and send flakes flying high into the air.

“Can you keep up with me, tiger?” Lakan challenged him.

Toru wanted to give his best. He raced Lakan through the tall trees, their branches heavy with snow, some bent so much that they brushed the ground underneath. Each time they veered close to one, the branches shook, making snow fall in heaps over them.

It could be pleasant to live in a land like that, too, Toru realized. A brief tinge of regret touched his heart at the thought that he hadn’t been here before, but it melted like the snowflakes falling on his coat.

The forest gave way to a large clearing, and in the middle of it, Toru saw a beautiful eye of water. It was half-frozen, and the middle of it was covered by a thin layer which allowed them to see the clear water underneath. Lakan stopped by its edge and turned into his human. He gestured for Toru to move closer.

A feeling of awe wrapped around his heart as he looked right into the eye of the fountain. There was a blue fire lighting it from within. Toru didn’t know how else to describe it.

“The ice beneath caught the sun in it,” Lakan began to explain. “That’s why it shines so bright.”

“So, your mother comes here to drink its water.” Toru put a foot on the icy edge, but he felt it slightly giving in, so he reconsidered.

“Those are just fairytales,” Lakan replied. “It is only a very beautiful place, one of the many we have here. But it’s true that there is no one who knows all of them like my mother does. You would think she is rather a creature of the forest than a shapeshifter.”

“She’s a bit annoying.” Toru watched Lakan’s face closely to see if saying such things upset his host.

Lakan laughed. “Yes, she is. She treats everyone like they’re so young compared to her. As if she has lived for hundreds of years, and the rest of us can’t even imagine how the world truly is.”

“What about your father?” Toru decided to ask.

Lakan just shrugged. “He died in battle before I was born. I never knew him.”

“Who was he?”

“He was part of the noble house of Niverborg. His name was Zaion.”

Toru scrunched up his nose in thought. “Is there only one noble house here?”

“Yes. But its members are not all related by blood. Only those who deserve to be a part of it are accepted.”

“Was my father a part of it?”

“Of course. He was a mighty warrior. Although a foolish one.”

Toru pursed his lips. It annoyed him greatly that Lakan thought such a thing about his father. If only he knew how Aneros had given his immortal soul, crucified on Hekastfet’s tombstone, only so that Toru would have a chance to defeat the evil threatening to engulf the entire world. “Did you know him?”

“Not quite,” Lakan replied. “I have only a vague memory of him, a figment of recollection. He is holding me on one knee, bouncing me up and down, while holding this juicy piece of steak just high enough so that I can’t touch it. And my mother tells him to stop teasing me, at which he says that I will grow stronger if I have something to aim for.”

“It sounds like he was close to you and your mother.” Toru couldn’t explain the pang of jealousy piercing his heart all of a sudden.

“I think so, although it was too long ago, and what I heard of him afterward made me believe that he rushed into things he didn’t know how to handle.”

“That’s not how it was,” Toru said brusquely.

Lakan turned and searched his face. “Then how was it?”

Toru could tell that the white tiger was curious and not just asking to get a rise out of him.

“He and my mother had to leave Nelsikkar and march on Scercendusa, because they knew Hekastfet was rising. Destiny foretold that I should oppose him, but I was but a child. They sacrificed themselves to give me time to grow and get ready to face this great evil.”

Lakan nodded thoughtfully. “You were supposed to reach here and remain hidden. I heard parts of your story from others.”

“Yes, they thought that I would be safe here. But Hekastfet had already sent his messenger to try and kill me. It was because of an old man, Torgar, that I survived. For many years, I didn’t remember anything from those times.” He couldn’t help but become sad at knowing that he had grown up without the warmth of his mother’s hand and the wisdom of his father’s bright mind.

Lakan surprised him and taking his hand in his. “I know it’s serving no one to think of how things would have been, but if you had reached Niverborg those many years ago, we would have been the best of friends.”

“I think we’re friends now,” Toru pointed out and looked down at their interlaced fingers. That simple touch made him think of warmth and home. It wasn’t the same as what happened with Duril or Varg or Claw, who were his lovers.

The feelings he could sense growing inside him, toward this tribe in the snow and the young man by his side, were different. He had never felt them before. It was a sentiment of belonging.

“We are.” Lakan let go of his hand and moved around the frozen fountain. “Let me show you how this fountain is used.”

Toru followed and when Lakan sat on the ground, cross-legged, he followed his example. “What are we doing?” he asked in a whisper, as his new friend had closed his eyes and seemed engrossed in something only he could perceive.

“The fountain can answer your questions,” Lakan explained with a small smile.

“What kind of questions?”

“It is like an oracle of sorts. It can tell you things about your past, present, and future.”

“And did you ever ask it anything?”

“I did. Go ahead, ask what you want.”

“I just need to think it, right?”

“Yes.”

“Hey, Lakan,” Toru said before closing his eyes and following the other’s example, “did you get the answers you wanted?”

“I did. Now, be silent,” Lakan urged him impatiently.

Toru shrugged and closed his eyes. He rested his hands on his knees and inhaled the fresh mountain air. At first, nothing happened, but then the sight of the frozen fountain appeared in his mind just as he had seen it with his own eyes earlier.

He smiled. So, he had the power of remembering things just as they were. That didn’t appear to be magical enough. He continued to keep his eyes closed for the sake of his friend. They could just sit like this for a while and rest after running to and fro all morning.

The fountain in his imagination began to thaw slowly. Toru felt intrigued. Maybe it was just his wish that it was warmer outside. But the lit ice beneath began to rise to the surface, breaking the calm mirror and twisting into what appeared to be a woman dressed in white.

He stared at her with the eyes of his mind. Little was his surprise when he realized that he was looking at Lakan’s mother, Elpis. Only she seemed different, maybe because her body was no longer wrapped in furs. She appeared taller than he knew her to be.

Ask your question, young tiger.

Did Lakan know of this? Did he know that his mother was the spirit of this frozen fountain? Maybe he had counted on surprising Toru with that sort of revelation.

Who are you?

You already know me.

Are you a white tiger? Or something else?

Ask what you really want to know.

Toru pondered for a bit. Where is Nelsikkar?

I don’t know what Nelsikkar is.

Just like the Elpis he knew, the one covered in furs. Toru considered his following question carefully. Why am I here then?

Elpis’ face became concerned and sad. To take what’s yours.

What’s that? What do you mean?

Niverborg belongs to you.

No, that’s not true. It belongs to the people here. Lakan is the true ruler.

You are Aneros’ son. A true blood tiger.

One earns his or her right to rule here. He told me so. Lakan is a true blood tiger, too, and Niverborg is his birthright.

As he said that last word, he understood that something wasn’t quite right. Lakan had said so, about Niverborg being his birthright, but if that was earned—

You are here for that. To take back what’s yours. Or Niverborg will perish.

I don’t believe you.

The apparition sank back into the frozen fountain. Her sad eyes followed him as she disappeared.

“Toru?”

He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. Lakan smiled at him. “You were making such a furious face that I had to pull you out of it.”

“I was?”

“Yes. Was the answer not to your liking?”

“You could say that.” Toru frowned and rubbed his forehead. It must have been nothing but a trick. He had no intention of taking over Niverborg.

“What did you ask?”

“I asked,” he said slowly, “if we were going to eat steak tonight, and the answer was ‘no’.”

“I see. I’d be upset, too. But there’s still fish, right? Let’s go back to the others.”

Toru followed him without another word, his heart heavy. Maybe it was his imagination playing tricks on him and nothing else.

TBC

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