LoZ: Bloated in the Wild Chapter 1 (Patreon)

Chapter 1: Blimp of the Wild

Princess Zelda sighed. 

When that didn’t elicit any response, she tried to huff.

Still, nothing. It was around the time that she decided to puff that she understood just what she was doing, she closed her eyes and groaned.

She opened them to see a pair of deep blue ones looking up into hers. The boy beneath her tilted his head inquisitively. She felt her mouth pucker, and turned her eyes away when she noticed how large a shadow the boy was standing in.

Princess Zelda looked down towards her body, which was bobbing in the wind above her as she floated in the sky. She could see the pale crest of her belly beneath the curve of her breast. Her clothing had, thankfully, managed to contain… well, most of her. She could feel the wind in the air blowing against her rounded, puffy, feet, and she was sure her belt had snapped off when she had…

She felt her hands, kept warm in his, and the squeeze of his fingers over hers. She looked up, down to the Earth above, and back into his deep blue eyes.

“This isn’t fair,” Zelda complained.

Link, her knight, nodded his head, and returned to walking. Zelda felt the acceleration ripple across her massive spherical body. It made her feel weird, and she groaned once more. She looked at her arms, or rather, what was left of them. Two hands, small looking compared to the rest of her, protruded from ovular divots. Her gloves had torn off as well, it seemed, with pale sausage fingers gripping onto Link’s leather-bound hands. She felt the constant tug of the air inside her, pulling against her grip to Link, up into the boundless heavens above. 

“How was I supposed to know such a thing was even possible?” Zelda asked. “It’s ridiculous. It’d been irresponsible of me to assume that such a thing could happen.”

Link looked up at her, before looking back down. Zelda felt her cheeks burn. Uncomfortable with her predicament, uneasy with her appearance, and unsure of what the hell to do, Princess Zelda lashed out.

“In fact, I would say this is more your fault than anything. You could have warned me, said something to stop me,” she berated him.

Link said nothing, like he always did. 

“Gods, you’re so frustrating. Some knight you’ve turned out to be, have you turned many of your charges into… into…” Princess Zelda felt the heat fall out of her, and she looked back down to herself.

She’d never been good at lying, even to herself. She should be directing that anger at herself, rather than her only tether to the world.

“We just… need to take stock of this. Slow down, and think. That always helps, right?” she asked, more to herself than her knight. “Alright, so. Magical tome. Do you have it?”

She looked up to Link and felt her left hand begin to come lose.

“Wait!” she screamed, “Wait wait wait don’t let go no no stop!” She had closed her eyes and felt her grand belly heaving with her breaths. She tightened her fingers and felt links still in hers before opening her eyes.

The ground was still beneath her, probably the furthest 6 feet of her life. A shiver passed through her body at the thought of seeing it growing further and further away. But it was still there, just beyond reach, and there was her knight with his comforting blue eyes. 

Princess Zelda sighed. “At least… I believe, that I still have a spine,” she said softly, “because I think I’m shaking right now.”

She felt her fingers pinch again in his and looked again to him. Link wore a serious expression on his face and nodded to her. He then looked back to the world above.

Zelda turned to look as well, feeling her bulky chin press into her broad chest. Already, she missed having a neck.

At some point, she realized, Link must have been making his way uphill. She hadn’t noticed. They now stood upon the peak of a tall hill, with sheer cliffs beneath them. A small pathway hugged the rock, but it was far too slim for someone as bloated as Zelda. The princess looked further, taking in the view of the surrounding area. She had no idea where they were, and looking at the world certainly wasn’t helping. There was a nearby wooded area, something that looked like might lead to wetlands or maybe a swamp, as well as another section of much smaller rolling hills and meadows. In the distance, she could see plumes of smoke from some faraway fire. Just beyond, she could see the white stone of a imposing tower.

Zelda took in a lofty breath, so large she felt her belly puff up even further, before releasing it into the wild. She felt a vibration shudder through her, and a low whine follow it. “Well… at least I still have a stomach,” she said, looking down into herself again. She looked up, and saw Link was looking up at her with head tilted. “I believe I’m getting hungry,” she tried to explain before muttering, “though what we’re supposed to do about it is beyond me…”

She looked back to Link, and immediately could tell that something was… off. He wasn’t look at her, he was looking past her, to her body. Something had occurred to him, some idea. It must be.

“Link?” Zelda asked.

He turned his blue eyes back to hers. There was something else in his expression now, and, being upside down, it took her a moment to see the smile slide onto his face. It was one of daring.

“Link?” she asked again, feeling the tension crawling into her voice. “Link, what are you- Ahh!”

Her sentence turned into a yelp as Link took three steps back, pulling her along with him. He was looking ahead to the cliff before them.

“Link no!” Zelda shouted, doing her best to sound like the stern princess she was raised to be. “Absolutely not, no way mister, I swear to the Gods Link so help me I wi-Nooooooo LINK!!” Zelda screamed, feeling him tightening his hands onto hers as he raised forwards and leapt from the edge.

Zelda shrieked as her knight threw himself, with her trailing behind him like some sort of airship, over the cliff. She desperately clutched onto his fingers with her own, wailing with her eyes shut, the wind billowing against her inflated belly. Zelda felt her sense of balance vanish, and her eyes desperately flew open to see she was still connected with Link.

She panted, heavy ragged breaths, and observed half in shock and half in complete embarrassment as the pair sailed through the air at a flimsy gait. They were descending steadily, which the background of Zelda’s scholarly mind quickly filed. She deduced it would take much less force than she’d expected to keep her tethered or to bring her back to the ground.

The foreground of the princess’s thoughts, however, was that her massively bloated body was being used as a hang glider. Her cheeks burned with shame and fury, watching as they passed over the nearest hill into the nearby meadow. She couldn’t tell if she wanted to scream or to cry. 

Instead, she hiccupped. “HIC!” her body throbbed, expanding and contracting in a sudden motion. She felt her pants and shirt strain over her swollen body, pressure suddenly throbbing against her skin. “Oh, lovely,” she groaned. “HIC! Just what I need- HIC! needed today.”

Fingernails dug into her own, and she turned upwards once again to see those handsome blue eyes waiting for hers. She felt herself hiccup again, but was less aware of the explosion of pressure in her gut. His eyes held her in them as they descended, drifting lazily upon the wind. Calm warmth ebbed from the Hero, and Zelda felt the connection to him through the warmth of their joined hands.

Link touched down onto the ground shortly after and continued walking. Zelda reminded herself to be calm, and tried to use the silence to think. 

“HIC! Gaah, Link, do you have anything to make these stop?” she asked.

Link didn’t answer her. Zelda grumbled briefly before remembering something one of her teachers had taught her about in an anatomy lesson. She breathed in, pulling as much air as she could and trying to focus it into her chest. She felt her skin tightening as her lungs inflated, felt her own chest growing wider.

If her professor could just see her now, she thought.

She held her breath for nearly a full minute before letting it out. Her chest loosened, and she didn’t feel the jumping throb of her muscle to gasp for air again. She sighed in relief, before turning her attention back to the problem at hand.

Where was the sun, she wondered. It had been a long day, they’d planned for their excursion to take a week but had only been having lunch on the third day when Zelda’s tome turned out to be some sort of… cursed cook book rather than one of blessings.

And it had been such a delicious fruitcake too… If only eating it hadn’t come with such an adverse side effect…

Thoughts of food turned her mind back to her stomach. She felt it burble deep inside of her, which combined with the air was creating quite the strange sensation. She considered what to do.

“We have to find somewhere to stay,” she said allowed. “Preferably somewhere with a roof... and a really wide door,” she added. 

She considered, for a moment, the information from earlier. It didn’t take much weight to pull her down, after all. If she could find a way to make herself heavier, which her grumbling stomach seemed eager to oblige, then they might be able to…

As they passed into shadow, Zelda looked up. Before her, illuminated by the red sunlight of the setting star, was the white rock of the ruined tower. “That,” Zelda said, “would be a good place to start.