Blahaj Blast! (Patreon)

Trigger #092: Mommy's Milkshakes Ice Cream Truck (addendum*)

Organization Class: A small business I started in my free time that sells transformative ice cream and dairy products. Made with my own personal gender potion formula, with far less harmful byproducts compared to the PINK formula, but at the cost of some... embarrassing ingredients... (What? Even a witch still has to make money, sometimes!)

*Now featuring Kemono Tea Smoothie blends! (See Trigger #27: "Mice Tea")

Transformation Type: TG, Muscle, Furrification, Sharkification, Heat.

Threat Level: Benevolent. It's ICE CREAM. There's no way you can ruin ice cream! Right...?

Subject: Finn Chomsky, F, 23, Shark, formerly Finn Chomsky, AMAB, 23, Human.

The following is a biographical account of events based on the subject's own testimonies and several eyewitness accounts.

“Did you know that if boy sharks get too big, they turn into girl sharks?”

Finn gave his girlfriend Chloe the side eye and snorted in disbelief as he continued rubbing sunblock across her back.

”That kinda sounds like BS, Chlo…”

“No, really, I read about it online! 

Scientist think it’s an evolutionary thing, so all the mommy sharks are the biggest and the strongest!”

Chloe flexed her muscles for emphasis. This was not helping Finn finish applying her lotion, but he found it unbearably cute none the less.

”If you say so. I guess I should lay off the free weights, then, huh?”

Chloe crawled out from their shelter under the umbrella and stood up to stretch.

”Maybe not. I mean, I think you’d make a pretty cute girl, Finny,” she winked over her shoulder.

Finn turned his head to look out at the pristine waters of the Sala City beachfront. He chalked up his flushing cheeks to the hot summer sun beating down on them.

”Haha, very funny. Fuck me, it’s hot out…” he wiped another few beads of sweat from his brow.

Chloe flung her arms over his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss. “Well, I WOULD fuck you, but like you said, it’s too damn hot out.”

”Well shit, in that case, maybe I should have taken us Ice Skating instead…” Finn smirked, returning the favor.

”Oh, speaking of ice skating, I swear I saw an Ice Cream truck on the way here. I’ll race ya?”

Finn beamed. He loved it when she got competitive. “You’re on.”

Chloe grabbed his wrist and yanked him into a run. “Last one there has to buy!”

White hot sand turned to powder beneath their beating feet as they made their way across the coast. A strong breeze from the oceanside ran it’s fingers through their hair, wicked the heat from their skin, and filled their lungs with sweet, salty sea air. Behind Finn, the summer sun refracted off of the crashing waves like starlight in the daytime. And in front of him, the most beautiful, powerful woman he’d ever met challenged him to reach new heights.

They started as bitter rivals in College Cross Country, cursing each other’s names as they both fought tooth and nail for the top podium. But the embers of their competition soon sparked a surprisingly deep romance between the two. Now, Finn couldn’t imagine life without her racing just one step ahead, teasing and taunting him, always pushing him just a little further. They even worked together as personal trainers at the gym, sometimes roping their clients into their friendly rivalry (for their own health, of course.)

I must be the luckiest guy on the planet, Finn thought to himself as he cycled ocean air through his lungs and turned it into fuel for his legs, an apartment by the beach, a cushy job at the gym, and the best girlfriend anyone could ask for…

Finn’s perfect gait faltered, sand skitteringing awkwardly off his foot.

So why is that not enough…?

Why do I feel like something is missing…?

A moment’s hesitation was all it took. Just when Finn had almost taken the lead, Chloe managed to overtake him and cross the parking lot finish line just a half a second earlier.

Finn’s brow furrowed as he kneeled over to catch his breath. Chloe was halfway through her victory dance when she noticed his grim demeanor and stopped.

”Babe…? You’re making that face again…” Chloe asked, a touch of concern in her voice.

Like many partners, Chloe had the unique ability to read Finn like a book. Whereas Finn usually relied on his terminal case of “Resting Bitch Face” to dissuade most inquiries, Chloe somehow always knew the difference between Finn looking upset, and actually BEING upset. It would be infuriating if Finn didn’t love her to death for just how much she cared.

”I’m… I’m fine, babe, just pissed that I lost is all…” he winked at her. It did nothing to assuage her concerns, but she was polite enough not to pry.

Finn stood up straight and scrutinized the ice cream truck in front of him.

“‘Mommy’s Milkshakes’, huh? Never heard of them. Must be a small business or something…”

They tilted their heads in unison as they both scanned the rather odd menu.

“Kobold Krunch? Centaur Carrotcake? Gobbo Green Apple? I’m not seeing any Rocky Road, I’m not sure this place has our usuals, babe…” Chloe said with some disappointment. “But maybe this is the chance for us to try something new…?”

“Something new, huh…?” Finn’s eyes caught on something. A recently attached advertisement hanging off of the bottom of the menu. In the picture, an anthropomorphic shark woman with very exaggerated curves held up a blue smoothie filled with gummy sharks.

“‘Blahaj Blast…’” Finn read the advert aloud, “‘Beat the summer heat with a refreshing blue raspberry and lemon lime smoothie mixed with energizing iced Kemono Tea and topped with tasty gummy sharks!’ What in the flying fuck is a ‘Blahaj…?’”

“It’s actually pronounced ‘Blow-Hai’...” A woman’s voice emerged from  the inside of the van, followed by it’s owner, an especially well endowed and bespectacled brunette in a baseball cap and apron. “It means ‘Blue Shark’ in Swedish. Hi, thanks for stopping by Mommy’s Milkshakes, how can I help you two lovely ladies today…?”

Finn looked over his shoulder at Chloe, who just shrugged in confused solidarity.

This lady must be blind by the look of those Coke bottle glasses she’s got on… he reasoned to himself. Still, something about her error… dislodged something inside. He shook his head.

“Uhhh, hi, can I get a Blahaj, or Blowhai, or whatever the Shark smoothie is…?” he asked, jerking a thumb at the ad.

“And I’ll have what she’s having,” Chloe teased her boyfriend with a wink. Despite his best efforts, Finn’s cheeks turned red.

“Coming right up! That’s a real popular one these days…” the woman smiled and sashayed back inside the truck, busying herself with their drinks.

Chloe and Finn stood quietly for a moment, twiddling their thumbs.

 “...She sure has some big ones, huh? Couldn’t help but notice you staring, Finny…” Chloe said with a sly, sideways glance.

“Oh, fuck, sorry, babe, I didn’t mean-”

“Ha, no it’s fine, babe, I was totally staring too,” Chloe said through her usual smug grin.

“... those things must give her back pain though, right? Are they real?”

“Look pretty real to me. Also, yes, I’m sure she lives in constant torment, but that’s her cross to bear. Heavy are the shoulders that carry the crown…” Chloe said with a faux wise man voice.

“Ha, shut the fuck up, dude…” Finn playfully pushed his girlfriend’s shoulder. They both stood at attention as the woman returned with their drinks.

“That’s two Blahaj Blasts, and that’ll be… oh, what the hell, this one’s on the house. A couple of drinks for the cute couple,” she winked at the two of them. “Oh, and for the record, yes, they’re real.”

The couple tripped over themselves trying to simultaneously thank the woman, take their drinks, and leave this embarrassing situation as soon as humanly possible.

Their hasty retreat gave way to a more casual stroll once they’d safely escaped the blast radius of humiliation.

Finn took a nice long drag of his drink. The taste of sweet and sour fruit filled Finn’s mouth and sloshed down his throat, followed along with the aftertaste of… something else…

“God-DAMN, that’s GOOD,” Finn pulled the cup away and smacked his lips in surprise. Even after just one sip, it felt like electricity was running through his veins. I should ask Chlo for a rematch later… he thought to himself as he plucked one of the gummy sharks from the top of the cup and chewed it over.

“Really? What’s it taste like…?” Chloe eyed the drink suspiciously, “...because it smells kind of… fishy to me.”

She waited for a pun induced groan that never came. Finn took another sip.

“Funny enough, it does… kinda taste like fish? Like, not in a bad way! Like, how you’d wash down some nice fried seafood with a smoothie?” Finn tried to explain.

Chloe stuck out her tongue and held her drink as far away from her as she could.

“Uggh, dude, that sounds gross, how do you even- WOAH!”

An hour earlier, some kids had been building a sand castle. Unfortunately for Chloe and Finn, the quarry they had been resourcing their building materials from had not been refilled, and no warning signs or guard rails erected around the construction sight. A very clear OSHA violation.

Thus, Chloe fell flat on her stomach as the contents of her drink splattered all over her beau’s face. Blue slush and a sea of sharks descended upon Finn, coating his eyes, sticking to his skin and staining his bathing suit.

A few things happened in rapid succession.

First, Finn fell flat on his ass, of course.

But, before he could fall on said aforementioned ass, unbeknownst to him, it grew quite a few sizes, bubbles of fat expanding and tightly toned muscles thickening. This worked quite well in cushioning his landing, which meant he didn’t notice the other changes happening as he tried to wipe blue slurry out of his eyes.

His skin grew soft, and hairless, and turned a rather unnatural shade of blue with ghostly white patterns on his inner arms, belly, and thighs.

He shrank quite a few sizes until he was just an inch or two above his girlfriend’s height as opposed to the full foot he had been moments ago. Although his limbs slimmed somewhat, they still retained a generous amount of muscle tone, his years of training carefully preserved in this new body. Four slits cut deep crevices into either side of his neck. His face morphed into a more feminine shape, his nose elongating into a missile-like snout, his teeth sharpening themselves into rows of fangs. Webs weaved between his fingers and toes, his nails turning into long claws. The pain in his head he thought was the impact of the plastic cup was in fact, a giant shark fin growing from the back of his skull, pushing out of his hair as it lengthened and turned a similar azure shade. Two more fins sprouted painlessly from his forearms, and a third from the small of his back, followed by… something else. As that new limb emerged, so too did something else from his chest. Bubbling up like sea foam, two massive, firm breasts emerged underneath his skin. Below, underneath his stained and tenting swim trunks, his member did the exact opposite, submerging underneath the waves between his legs. There was a slight twang of pang as his testicles receded like two buoys being forced underwater. Like a coral reef forming in the blink of an eye, so too did her obsolete sex organs regrow into a brand new uterus and ovaries. Stained by the smoothie and clearly persuaded by it’s strange powers, her bathing suit similarly stretched across her skin into a much more convenient bikini.

Topping her transformation off like a dollop of whipped cream was her new tail. It burst forth from her tail bone and slapped against the sand with a hefty THWUD! The tail itself weighed almost more than she did, several feet of muscle, fat, and sharkskin tipped with long, flat fins perfect for swimming.

Finn finally managed to wipe the last of her face clear, somehow not noticing her new claws and snout, and turned to check on Chloe.

“You good?” she asked with some concern.

Chloe was silent. She had witnessed the entire transformation and could only stare in slack jawed awe. Finn took her silence as the affirmative and dusted herself off.

“For fuck’s sake, can you watch where you’re goin’ next time, Chloe?”

Chloe blinked a few times in disbelief.

“F-Finn…? Is that you…?”

“Uh, yeah, duh? You blind or somethin’?” she retorted, before noticing her words were leaving her mouth at a much higher register. “Hey, why’s my voice sound different…?” Acknowledging this strange change in her tone did nothing to reverse it.

“That’s… not the only thing…” Chloe raised a terrified finger and pointed it down at his chest.

His eyes followed.

Two massive, heaving blue breasts obscured the top half of Finn’s stomach, but she was able to see the rest of herself with painstaking clarity.

There was silence for a few brief moments as Finn reached a tentative hand to her left tit and squeezed.

Well… THESE are definitely real…

Then the screaming started.

Shrill, panicked, and piercing.

“KYAAAAAAAA!!! FINN, WHY ARE YOU A SHARK?!?!?”

“SCREW BEING A SHARK, WHY AM I A FUCKING GIRL?!?!? AAAAAAHHHHHH?!?!?”

 They were far enough down the beach that they wouldn’t cause an immediate ruckus, but very quickly they decided that getting the attention of others would most likely cause more problems then it would solve. They took shelter underneath their umbrella, turning it away from the sun and instead shielding themselves from other beach goers.

Finn curled herself up into a panicked little ball, her tail wrapping itself around her and her girlfriend. Chloe’s skin crawled at the slimy feeling of shark skin on hers, but tolerated it for Finn’s sake.

“Wh-What the fuck is happening to me?! WHY the fuck is this happening to me?!” Finn started hyperventilating, his carefully toned heart now race well past even its limits.

“Hey, hey! Calm down! It’s-It’s oka-”

“IT’S NOT FUCKING OKAY, CHLOE! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THIS!”

Chloe froze, eyes fixated on Finn’s new rows of teeth, terrified she was going to bite her head off… and hurt that she’d snapped at her at all.

Finn noticed the fear in her lover’s eyes and his heart sank.

“Fuck… Chloe… Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Finn turned away from Chloe, ashamed, and afraid. “I… I forgot you were scared of sharks…”

Chloe took a deep breath, and wrapped her arms around Finn’s neck, careful not to touch her gills.

“It’s ok… you’re probably more scared than I am right now…” Chloe squeezed Finn even tighter.

“I… I am…” it was hard for Finn to admit that, he didn’t like letting Chloe know when he was upset, but this time it felt good to finally be vulnerable. “I just… how did this even HAPPEN…?”

They turned to look at the bright blue remains of their drinks splattered across the sands. A tiny gummy shark blankly stared right back at them.

”That’s it! You must be having some kind of allergic reaction to whatever the hell was in that smoothie!” Chloe stood up with conviction.

”I’m… not sure that’s how allergies work, babe.”

But Chloe already had already taken the idea and ran. “You stay here! I’ll go find out what the hell was in that smoothie, okay?!”

All Finn could do was stare as his girlfriend ran off down the beach. If she didn’t think following her would cause a panic, she would have followed. Instead, she just snorted, and smiled.

”I love that dork so goddamn much.”

Finn laid back on the sand. It felt good against her… scales? She wasn’t exactly sure what sharkskin was made of. She ran a hand down her forearm. It was smooth, like suede leather. When she ran it back up against the grain, it felt more like sandpaper.

”Huh. Smooth… scratchy… smooth… scratchy… smooth…” Finn alternated this motion on several parts of her body. She couldn’t help but trace the strange new additions to her person. The length of her wider hips. The circumference of her thicker thighs. Her tail was almost as long as she was, if not longer, and moved with a mind of it’s own, wriggling in the sand at her touch.

She almost cut her finger open on her new teeth as she bit her thumb, deep in thought.

You know, after the shock’s worn off… this isn’t really all that bad.

She cupped her soft breasts in her fingers and weighed them by hand.

I mean, these might be a pain in the ass running without a sports bra… but other than that… I actually feel…

Finn stood up to stretch her arms and legs. There was a deep satisfaction to flexing her new tail. It felt… strong. The possibility was intoxicating.

She couldn’t help but notice however, just how much hotter it had gotten all of a sudden. Her mouth felt dry, her throat scratchy.

Damn, I could really go for another sip of that smoothie right now…

But another option presented itself. The roaring waves of the ocean called out to her, vast, and tantalizing.

I mean… a quick dip couldn’t hurt…

Carefully, when no one was looking, Finn ran from cover, and dove into the water.

It was like entering another world. Her eyes adjusted perfectly to the shallows, she could see everything, And she SAW.

Light tessellated through the waves, drawing alien patterns across her skin. As she drifted deeper, bright green seaweed silently fluttered like fields in the breeze.

The water was cool and balmy on her skin, the perfect relief from the unforgiving sun above. It cradled her, carried her gently, weightlessly in its arms.

Above all else, it was quiet. Perfectly, pristinely quiet. Nothing but the muffled crashing of waves.

A few minutes passed before Finn realized she wasn’t breathing. Well, no, that wasn’t quite accurate, she WAS breathing, just not how she was used to. She ran her fingers along her neck, feeling her gills open and close themselves, drawing in seawater and converting it into oxygen for her body.

I can breathe underwater…

Finn laughed. Only a muffled sound came out, along with a large bubble that drifted lazily to the surface.

Holy shit, I can breathe fucking WATER!

A jolt of excitement ran from the top of her forehead to the tip of her tail.

She wiggled it experimentally. Predictably, her fins caught against the current and propelled her forwards, albeit much further than she was anticipating. Already, Finn was making mental calculations on how best to push every part of her body for speed, like she’d been trained to do so many times on land.

I can breathe water…

…and I can SWIM…

Chloe had half expected the ice cream truck not to be there when she returned, having read one too many scary stories. However, it was Finn who had disappeared by the time she’d gotten back.

A rush of panic sleused down her spine, and along with it, a litany of horrible fates.

Oh God… what if he… or is it she?! What if they got kidnapped by some shady branch of the government. Oh GOD, what is she got kidnapped by ANY branch of the government!? W-What if she turned into sea foam like the Little Mermaid, the original story, not the movie!? Oh God, what if-?! 

All of Chloe’s questions were answered when her boyfriend, now girlfriend, broke the surface of the water. She flew a good few feet up into the air, flipping like a dolphin, laughing like a madwoman, before diving back underneath the waves.

A few minutes later, she simply walked out of the depths onto the shore like Godzilla emerging from the deep.

She plopped herself onto the sand next to Chloe.

“Hi,” Finn said, with an absolutely ridiculous grin plastered on her face.

”Hi!” Chloe chuckled in surprise, “Well, I’m glad to see you’re doing much better, at least…”

”Yeah, I uh… I dunno… I kind of… like this? I don’t know if the novelty is gonna wear off but… I feel good Better, even…”

Chloe sat next to her and lovingly took Finn’s face into her hands.

“Well, you’re aren’t making that face you’re usually making, so I guess that’s a good sign…”

Chloe pressed her lips against hers. Their tongues tied, but Chloe had to be extra careful not to cut hers on Finn’s new dentistry.

”Plus, I’ve never seen you this happy before, so… I guess I could get used to it.”

”So, does that mean I’m stuck like this? Are you gonna have to visit me out here every night in secret while I hide from the hateful eyes of society…?”

”PFFT, HELL NO, your ass will be fine in like, twenty minutes.”

”…wat?”

Chloe rolled over and laughed.

”Yeah, the lady was still there. She said if you wanna change back all you have to do is meditate for a few minutes. Something about imagining your body the way it’s supposed to be, but not the way it is. Gave me her card if you have any issues.”

”…Oh…”

”So, what was all that shit about the ‘hiding from the hateful eyes of society?’”

”Stop…”

”Two star crossed lovers, doomed to be forever separated by the cruel and unforgiving sea wall?” Chloe flung the back of her hand to her forehead dramatically.

”Please stop.”

”Cursed to kiss only under the cold moonlight, but never see the sunrise together again? Ahhh, the TrAgEdY~!”

”I’m going back in the water now,” Finn stood up to her full height and trudged grumpily towards the shallows.

”OH! Wait, there was one other thing!”

Chloe picked something up that she had hidden behind her back.

”The lady felt bad I dropped my drink all over you… so she gave me a refill.”

She shook the now full cup of blue slushie in her hand for emphasis.

"What do you say? Wanna go skinny dipping with the fishes?”

From the desk of

Mira Alcott

Head-Mistress of Transformations

(Special thanks to VTSparks and samrj1123 for the suggestions, to my Test Readers, and to all of my Patrons for your support!)