Beginnings are always hard. Kinky. (Patreon)

I was thinking. Yes, I happen to do that quite sometimes actually.
Long and hard, thinking about the exact post that will start it all. The first one, so naturally the most important one. It's always said that doing something for the first time is hard, stressing, nerve wrecking but over time, with more practice, the more you do the same thing - it gets easier.
This is exactly why I started this patreon. Some might think "Hey, why are u starting a patreon when you are a nobody? You don't really have a big following, there are bigger artists than you that don't have patreon, better artists than you" and to some extent it's true. Im a nobody. But to be somebody you need to start somewhere. Patreon won't only be a way to support me monetarily, it will be a way to support me as a person on a bigger journey. Journey of self discovery and improvement. I had social anxiety symptoms for most of my life. Scared to stand out, to make a noise, to exist anywhere near people. Each day was a fight against myself because I wanted to be around people. needed to be around people. But I just... couldn't.  It is way, way better now but there are still things that make me uncomfortable.
That's why making a closed, safe space for myself, with less people but more interaction, with more face to face interaction will make me feel more comfortable. Will make me learn how to livestream before strangers and not start crying just because I don't know what to say. Im starting with this very personal post.  
And that is also why im including this picture. Those are all of my sketchbooks, 20 sketchbooks of various thickness, page content, all filled from the beginning to the end, from page one to the last one. Those are five years of my feelings and my hard work. Those are my emotions I couldn't express verbally so I drew them.  And I will take you on a journey through them all so you can learn all of that.  So it all can be heard now.

Thank you for joining me on this adventure of self discovery and improvement!
I love ya <3