Blanc Counsel Inc (Blanc Tg) Draft (Patreon)

Paul only meant to knock.

The steel door slammed against the wall as fragments of the doorknob and two of the hinges shot through the air. The three men sitting inside had no time to react as the shrapnel missed them by inches, punching several holes in the drywall behind them.

Paul dropped the massive hammer to the ground, staring in awe at the beach ball-sized dent in the door as it dangled from its last remaining hinge. “Didn’t expect it to be that powerful…”

“Hell of a way to tell us you found the hammer.” Jo stood up. “I hope that damn door still closes, I’m not sorting this job in a blizzard.”

Paul sheepishly crammed the bent door back into its frame, small flurries of snow blowing through the new gaps. He picked the hammer back up and placed it on the table. “You just saw how powerful this thing is. It’ll make the heist a cakewalk!”

“This isn’t a smash & grab, idiot,” Rich said as he traced his fingers over the hammer’s drum-sized head, “The Basilicom has the most advanced electronic security system in all of Lowee. To get in, we won’t be using this hammer as a hammer.” He twisted a piece on the hilt, and the hammer began to hum like a booting computer. “It’ll be our key.”

“Exactly.” Luke exclaimed, pulling the massive object to him for a closer look. He smiled, turning back to Paul with a more serious expression. “But first off, does everyone know why this thing is so important? Why you went through all the trouble of stealing it from the armory?”

“Well, I was thinking that it's because it’s the most powerful weapon in Lowee. And that would make fighting easier. You know, if we were to run into guards,” Paul answered, to which literally everyone else at the table sighed. Luke just shrugged his shoulders and hoisted the hammer up, standing in the process. 

“...Don’t you think we would have stolen a more subtle weapon if that really was the case.” he asked, shaking his head. “Remember, if we fight the goddess, we have no chance. With or without her hammer. So alerting the guard is actually something that we under no circumstances want to happen. Got that?”

“Uhm… sure. What is the hammer for then?” Paul asked in return, to which the other three started smiling. 

“Let me show you.” Luke said, twisting the handle again and pressing a few buttons, only for a holographic screen to appear in front of them with the words ‘Blanc’ written on it, with the symbol of a snowflake behind it. One quick press on the screen revealed various menus much like a computer screen. Though the two that stood out were ‘Basilicom Security’ and ‘Identification Key’.

“Imma be honest, that was easier than I thought.” Luke laughed as he scrolled through the menus a bit. “I mean, I even prepared a code to crack a potential password input field, but for the thing to simply work when held as if you were Blanc is unprecedented.

“But yes, this is exactly what it sounds like. This hammer works as a biometric scan of Blanc. With a few modifications, we can use it to open any and all doors in the Basilicom, as well as activate and deactivate security pretty much to our leisure,” Luke said, placing one hand on the neck of the hammer, his finger gracing a small trigger hidden behind the head. “So then, let's come up with a plan.” He gave one final look to the hologram, and squeezed the trigger.

A burst of energy rocked the room. Rich steadied himself. “What you just felt there was the energy that's released for ‘Tanzerin Trombe’, one of Blanc’s signature attacks. Hitting that trigger when swinging the hammer is normally used to unleash powerful attacks, though as far as I can tell Blanc really loves to spin when using this one. Anyhow, pressing it when the hammer’s sitting still calls several failsafe functions...”

“Correct.” Luke pushed his glasses up with one finger. “And we’ve found a memory leak in one of those functions that could be used for code injection.”

Paul nodded along, too focused on parsing Luke’s technical jargon to notice that his comrade wasn’t wearing glasses a moment before.

Luke dropped the hammer on the table, the force jostling his blonde bob cut out of place. “Combine that exploit with the biometric data, and any arbitrary code can be committed directly to almost any of the Basilicom’s networks.” He casually fixed his hair with his fingers.

Rich picked up the hammer next. “So, with some simple code, opening the outer gate would be no issue with this thing. Lemme test it out.” He pulled the trigger and released another burst. “That’s got a kick!”

“Careful with that thing!” Paul shouted. “I don’t wanna end up like the door!” For a pair of eggheads, these two were almost as reckless as him. And what were the chances two guys who’d never met before this job would have the exact same haircut? …And the same glasses?

Paul glanced back and forth between the two as they jabbered about programming. Sure, their heads looked really similar, but there was no way they were twins. After all, Rich was much taller…actually, now that Paul looked closer, they did seem to be about the same height. It was strange, Paul was so sure Rich was taller than everyone else, but apparently he was shorter than even Jo…

“Relax, the hammer wasn’t aimed at you.” Rich sighed, sitting back down and plopping the hammer down on the floor like it was nothing, which surprised Paul, now that he thought about it. For someone so small, he sure had a lot of power to lift the hammer one handed. But Paul didn't want that to distract Rich from what he had to say. “Now, let’s talk security guards, since those are the only ones that can’t really be manipulated with this skeleton key.”

“I was actually waiting for this topic to come up. May I?” Jo asked, presenting his hand to which Rich nodded and lifted up the hammer again, placing it on the table sliding it over. Jo immediately took another look at the hammer and began pressing buttons, to which the hammer made different kinds of mechanical noises. Then released another shockwave that rattled the table to an unnerving degree. 

“Figures…” Jo spoke, rightening his own glasses as he began checking back and forth between his own computer and the virtual screen provided by the hammer. “I was thinking we could maybe get a schedule of all the guards from here, but no bueno. Though I think that I might be able to get a Basilicom layout out of it. Should I try?”

“Of course. That's why we are here, aren’t we?” Blanc asked sarcastically, to which Jo nodded, and went on to type furiously on his keyboard. 

Paul had to blink, then shook his head. No, he had to remember, this wasn't the goddess of Lowee Blanc, but his good friend Blanc, who just happened to look almost exactly like her. Yeah, he… she was the tech genius who found out how the hammer worked. Paul might have been a bit on the dumb side, because for some reason telling his good friend apart from the goddess that ruled their nation became increasingly difficult for him. And for no apparent reason.

“Guys, I just found something disturbing. Let me see if I can…” Jo declared, pressing a button once again that made energy flow out of the hammer, followed by the sizzling noise of steam. “...Great, now I made my dress wet.” Jo sighed, brushing himself off and shaking his head which made his short brown hair fly off, which for some reason had taken Paul aback.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I found a program called ‘Interloper Conversion Protocol Beta’ hidden in the security files. The only problem is that I have no idea how to trigger it, so we gotta be a bit more careful going forward.”

“Yes, I’m familiar with that protocol,” Blanc said as she adjusted her dress’s spaghetti straps, “it’s an anti-tampering measure that references the biometrics, though as it’s newly implemented it likely has some security holes.”

“Many security holes, in fact,” Blanc said, interrupting Blanc. Paul was lost. Blanc and Blanc always saw eye to eye on practically everything. He supposed it shouldn’t be surprising, with them looking and sounding identical and all, but it still weirded him out. How long had they known each other again?

Paul looked to Jo to see if he too noticed anything unusual, but Jo was just keeping up the conversation with the other two without missing a beat, idly twirling a lock of his blonde bob cut like everything was normal.

“...And that’s where you come in, Paul. You have prior experience with those game locks that open doors only whenever someone defeats all enemies in a given room, so any insights you—”

“Hey, Jo?”

“Who’s Jo?”
“Sorry, Blanc. I kinda got lost. But…doesn’t something about this seem…off?” 

Blanc just shot him a look of confusion. What do you mean by ‘off’?”

Paul glanced at the girl to his left. “What about you, Blanc? I think there’s something wrong with this hammer…” Blanc just crossed her arms and glared. Paul turned to his right. “Blanc?”

Blanc, Blanc, and Blanc all returned blank stares. “If you’d been paying attention, this should be easy enough to understand,” Blanc said, “even for someone like you.”

“Calm down, Blanc,” Blanc responded, “most of this is out of his area of expertise.”

“Then why did we bring him here?” Blanc asked.

“He’s the best cat burglar in Lowee. He would be immensely helpful giving us insight into the Basilicom’s security flaws.”

Blanc pouted. “In that case, you catch him up to speed. Blanc and I aren’t repeating ourselves.”

Paul sighed, rubbing his temples. He always knew Blanc could be like this, and Blanc and Blanc weren’t helping make things any less confusing, despite Blanc’s best efforts. Why did everyone in the group seem so different today? He’d been friends with Blanc for almost a decade, worked for Blanc for three years, and had no problem with Blanc when she was hired two months ago…is this what they called jamais vu?

“I can make this easier to understand,” Blanc gestured to Blanc for the hammer, who placed it in her hand like it weighed nothing. “I’ll explain the parts of the hammer relevant to you. Here, I’ll walk you through it.” She extended the hammer out to Paul.

Paul stood motionless as he stared at the hammer. Three pairs of icy blue eyes stared at him. Why was his heart racing?

He grabbed the hammer with both of his hands, because for a mere mortal like him, the hammer was just too heavy to be lifted like Blanc did. Yet he still did his best to follow along with whatever Blanc asked of him. He kinda owed it to her to give it his all.

“Press that blinking button at the handle and grip the hammer tight,” she instructed, and Paul followed. The machine started whirling again in his hands, which somehow felt more satisfying than he expected. Though also, the moment he pressed the button, it felt like the tips of his hair became electrified, giving him a little spark the moment he tried to push his blonde-brown shoulder-length hair out of his face. 

But he couldn't really admit in front of Blanc and Blanc that he hurt himself on the first button press from their signature weapon, so Paul tried to play it off like it was nothing. Blanc was already waiting with her next instruction anyway. “You might want to stand up for that next part. Take the Hammer with both hands and twist the handle. Stop when you hear the fourth soft click.”

Sure enough, after he stood up and twisted the handle, there was a noise similar to a bicycle shifting gears. It felt like he was shifting gears up, making the hammer grow bigger and bigger with every subsequent click. Blanc seemed pleased, so Paul just continued, stopping with the fourth click. 

The hammer was now utterly massive, even more so than before, easily the size of his entire body. Though, it didn't feel heavier. If anything, wielding it now seemed much lighter and easier than just a moment ago. But he couldn’t quite figure out why the chair he just sat on, as well as the table Blanc, Blanc and Blanc sat by now seemed a lot bigger as well, though he was sure that was only a byproduct of his power rush.

“Now you should be able to extend the handle a little bit. If you do that you have officially entered it into the elemental power mode, the mode where it is the slowest, but by far the most powerful,” Blanc explained and once again Paul followed.

Extending the handle caused a chill to course through his body, making him shiver for a little bit. Maybe wearing a rather free-shouldered dress at a test like this hadn’t been the best idea, but now was not the time to contemplate Paul's clothing choices. Besides, the chill was gone almost immediately, which was to be expected because he knew how resistant against the cold his body was. 

Like who besides Blanc, Blanc, Blanc or him would even get the idea of walking into a blizzard with nothing more than a thin summer dress? Well, maybe the goddess of Lowee Blanc, but that was besides the point.

“Like this?” Paul asked, swinging the hammer around one handed, feeling the power behind every move he made.

“Yes, you got it. This is also the mode where the goddess is able to launch her EX skills, like ‘Absolute Zero’ and so on. Very powerful indeed.”

Paul looked at the hammer in astonishment. Something clicked in his head. He had never been too much into the moves and powers of the goddess before, but somehow that name of that attack seemed familiar to him. “Absolute… Zero?”

There was a click coming from the hammer, then the gears inside and outside the hammer started turning at speeds that almost shook the hammer out of Paul's hands. 

“DON’T SAY IT OUT LOUD WHILE HOLDING THE HAMMER, YOU IDIOT!!!” He heard all three Blanc shouting before…

KACLIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!

Okay, he had to admit, this was his mistake. The entire room was turned into a solid block of ice, rendering him completely unable to move. His consciousness was slipping, yet he was kept being forced back by an uncomfortable tugging down below. It felt like something was slipping away, something that held less and less value to him. Until finally, the tugging stopped and she was finally free from that uncomfortable feeling. That’s when finally, Blanc managed to fall asleep, inside the ice block she created herself.

…

“-anc? Blanc, are you okay? Do you hear me?” When Blanc’s consciousness returned, she saw a mirror image of herself standing over her, worriedly holding her as she tried to wake her up. It took a bit for her to realize that, in fact, it wasn't a mirror, but just her sister Blanc trying her best to wake her up.

“Man, this hammer has ISSUES, let me tell you…” Blanc declared, brushing her skirt off as she picked up her glasses from the ground again.

“Yeah. We really need to talk with Blanc about the fact that you can trigger attack energy bursts just by saying the attack names. That is just poor design at its finest.” Blanc agreed, helping to straighten up the table together with Blanc as it was knocked down in the Ice explosion.

“Even if I agree, let’s see it positively,” Blanc interjected, shrugging her shoulders as she sat down at the table again. “We are all pretty immune to ice, the building is still standing, the ice is incredibly temporary and now we know what to not do again. You got that, Blanc?”

“Yeah… I promise I won’t say attack names anymore while in buildings…” 

To be fair, Blanc knew exactly why her sisters were angry. It was a pretty stupid mistake if she was being honest.

KAPOOOOW!

The one and only Console Patron Unit of Lowee, Blanc, burst the door down with her hammer, its last crumpled hinge tumbling across the floor. “What daft bastard dared to steal one of my…What the hell?”

Four exact copies of her turned to face Blanc. “Ah, Blanc, good. You’re here.”

Blanc’s hammer and jaw both hit the floor with a massive thud.

“We were just about to discuss potential flaws in the auxiliary hammer’s Interloper Conversion Protocol. While its biometric detection works fine, it seems that—”

“Wait! Hold on! Time out! What’s going on?” The CPU asked, making each of the other four Blancs blink in confusion. “Why are there four exact copies of myself in a room?!?”

"Copies?" One pouted. "You may be the Goddess, but we're still your twin sisters!"

"Twins?" The goddess raised her hammer. "What's the meaning of this? Who are you?"

Another doppelganger stood up, placing her hand on the first's shoulder. "Remember, Blanc, we haven't actually met our oldest sister yet."

A third stood up. "Right! We should introduce ourselves. I'm Blanc."

"And I'm Blanc."

"You can call me Blanc."

"Blanc."

OG Blanc could only stare in silence, before lowering her head. “You guys are just…” The goddess' face darkened behind her bangs, her fist tightening and one of her eyes starting to glow red as she readied her weapon. Blanc waited for one of the imposters to dare grab the stolen hammer and fight her—but they just stared blankly, looking more confused than frightened. What was their game? The extra hammer was just sitting there uselessly on the table, its diagnostic menu open to show a holographic wireframe of Blanc spinning in midair.

Wait a minute, they stole that hammer...

The fire in Blanc's eye evaporated. “...You...you triggered that new interloper conversion protocol, didn’t you?” Blanc asked with a deadpan stare.

“No we didn’t! We were just about to ask you about it!” Blanc declared.

“Yeah, we don’t actually think you can trigger that protocol yet. And we tested a lot of ways the security of the Basilicom might be breachable.” Blanc explained, to which the goddess was ready to facepalm.

“And what, if I might ask, might happen if someone were to trigger that protocol?” the goddess asked, trying her best to hide her rictus of disbelief.

“I am not sure, but I can take an educated guess,” one of the Blancs said, pushing her glasses up. “The intention is to convert anyone that steals the hammer into someone who is devoted to Lowee and its goddess above all else. Though considering that changing a person requires a lot of precise data, and the only biometric data on the hammer is yours, it might be possible that if both are opened at the same time, that those functions could interact in unexpected ways…so you better be careful, Blanc.”

“...you don’t say,” Goddess Blanc said, holding her head as she turned around. “I don’t have a head for something this stupid right now. I’ll be meeting up with my sisters—my real sisters—in a few minutes, so I guess I’ll just deal with you later…”

“Ram?” “Rom?” “The candidates?” “I wanna see them too!” The Blancs all instantly sprang up from their seats, much to the goddess’ horror. She started to run, and they followed to the beat, running with her through the snowstorm like it was nothing.

“Stop, you moronic idiots! Those are my sisters and mine alone! Did this thing copy my love for them onto you too?!?  Leave me alone, before I show you the power of my hammer!”

Five minutes of bonking Blancs later, and the goddess stood victorious over her doubles, panting heavily under the cold weather. “I won,” she declared, slamming the grip of her hammer into the ground, sitting atop it. She pondered the four dazed girls lying in the snow, her face half-hidden in her hand. She shook her head. Blanc had no idea what the heck to do with Blanc, Blanc, Blanc, or Blanc. 

But one thing was for sure: “My new security system definitely needs a bit of tweaking…”

—

Sometimes the key to a good heist is a good Blanc. The more the better.