I HAVE NEWS ✨ Please be patient w me! (Patreon)

Hey everyone, soooo I am about to go through a major life transition, in that I am going full time…. Internet 😂 I overworked myself for way too long trying to do way more than I can handle and it’s time to change path.

So in this next month, as I navigate sending over projects to whoever will replace me at my old job and organizing things for Youtube & Patreon, I’ll need you guys to be patient with me! I should officially be free around the end of August. I’m going to do my best to make sure that you guys feel as little as possible from the chaos that will be August, and perhaps the beginning of September.

I’ve touched on the fact that I’ve been horrendously exhausted over the last year trying to work a full-time job along with Youtube and Patreon, which is basically a second full-time job in itself. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to just spend time doing things I love. I used to play guitar, and paint regularly, and meditate. I’ve been wanting to start playing guitar again and properly set aside time for studying Italian, as well as so many other things. And I have so many ideas for here and for Youtube. I can’t remember the last time I had a weekend where I wasn’t working.

I’ve been so disconnected from my mind and my body, as well as from nature. I haven’t been taking care of myself at all. And I’m the kind of person who will take it and take it silently until at one point I sort of burst, and THAT’s when I’ll make a decision, or share how I’m feeling. Ain’t good 😂 When I sleep I’m thinking about work, and when I wake up, I’m thinking about work. And that just keeps going and going all day. And adding to the fact that I have major problems focusing makes it all that much more difficult.

I know our society pushes productivity so much but holy shit I’m tired 😂 I don’t think it’s healthy, nor is it a natural state of being to work yourself to the bone. I’d rather be making less money doing something that I know is helping others, even if it’s just to make you laugh and relax you a bit, and something that I love than to be doing a million things for a sense of security. I’ve always been scared to take big life decisions and always doubt myself in the process. I usually tend to push aside my intuition and what it’s telling me because I’ll start overthinking and overanalyzing my every move so much to the point where it becomes paralyzing. In this last year I noticed a decline in both my mental health and physical health. I don't handle stress well at all, and it very quickly shows up in my mind and body. I also used to workout intensely about 4 times a week, and that went out the window very fast as work started piling up and when covid started. Exercising was a massive part of why my mental health got better. It was a way for me to take care of myself.

I want to organize a proper schedule for you all here, increase the audio quality (I'll get someone to come in and help me set up the Rhode properly). And just give these platforms the attention and effort that they deserve. This has been a dream of mine for so long and I don’t want to throw it away due to fear.

Anyway, a word of advice: if you’re feeling tired or burnt out or not grounded in your mind and body, take some time off. I know that sometimes taking time off is a luxury not everyone has and I accepted that as a non-negotiable for way too long. But when you show up for yourself you can then show up for everyone around you, to the fullest.

This essay wasn’t so anyone can feel sorry for me, please don’t - I’m feeling light as a feather and happy and so excited! It was just to be honest with you and let you in on my life. It’s always interesting to me how people handle emotions, communicate, and go on about their lives when it comes to work.

Anyway, thank you for listening and I hope you are all calm and doing well. Take some time to relax, go out into the sun or the forest, close your eyes and listen to all the teeny tiny sounds of nature. Take out your headphones and just listen to your environment. Turn off your phone and look at your screen less. Can’t remember the last time I did that.

I know this was all over the place but 😂Hugs and kisses and I’ll see you all soooooooon in next week’s video!