Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Pros and Cons (Patreon)

Backstage at Non-Canon Arena

Pug: We are in weight room. Such effort! Such overwhelming mammalian funk! Why is Drow Priestess here?

Drow Priestess: Well I’ll tell you, little lizard. I’m here to make sure the meanest, the baddest, and the nastiest contender in the NCA is there with me to take down Sex Kitten. I want only grade-A spider venom as part of my tag team. The cream of the sting. And DP gets what DP wants. You hear what I’m saying?

Pug: Yes, Pug does. You spit when shouting.

Drow Priestess: I’ll tell ya who’s gonna shout. Who’s gonna scream. Who’s gonna beg for mercy when they walk face-first into my tangled web. That’s little bitty kitty Magus and her Succu-bestie.

Pug: Tough talk. But champs are tough too. Have won at least one major competition in past. So certain you can overcome their formidable might?

Drow Priestess: Formidable? Ha! Don’t make me lolth. By the time these contenders are through with my training regimen, we’re gonna beat their Menzoberains out!

Witch: I would… I would like… To withdraw from the program.

Drow Priestess: Did I give you permission to talk?

Inquisitor: I’m pretty sure this isn’t in our contract.

Drow Priestess: Your contract is what the protean in the corner office says it is. And right now, you’re stuck with me like spider-butt on a drider. You hear what I’m saying?

Inquisitor: You really do spit when you’re shouting you know.

Witch: Could I… Could I at least get a sports bra?

Drow Priestess: No.

Pug: Looks like these ladies very serious about title shot. Whether they get support from CEO (or from undergarments) remains to be seen. Back to you at ringside, human Bard!