Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Romanceable (Patreon)

The eons passed. Quarterly profits rose and fell. HR eventually returned her letter.

“Private & Confidential,” it began. This was followed immediately by the phrase, “Sent via Voyeur Homunculus.” The rest of the heading was not much more encouraging. It was addressed to Succubus of course. No fault there. But the address was given as, “Beneath the Boss’s desk.”

Succubus kept her face carefully neutral as she read. It would not do to put on a show for the mailroom imps.

“Re: Outcome of Complaint Investigation,” continued the letter from HR. “We are writing to let you know the outcome of our investigation into your complaint.

“After meeting with you to pay lip service to your concerns, we also met with the Boss and certain witnesses. Those of us that survived have made a thorough investigation. We reviewed all of the information, documents, and our own remaining limbs, and have concluded that your complaint is unsubstantiated.

“As a result, we will be taking steps to make sure that your concerns are roundly ignored in the future. For reasons of confidentiality, we cannot tell you all of the steps that we will be taking but some of these steps include:

• Sniggering about you behind your back.
• Losing your transferral requests in the mail.
• Writing your contact information and outstanding personal qualities on the bathroom walls.

“We will follow-up with you about how you are feeling in the coming days. This will have no impact on the situation, but it will provide us with enough gossip to finish out the week. If you are not happy with the outcome of our investigation, you can go cry about it.

“If you have any questions or concerns about our investigation or its outcome, please let us know by rolling this letter up real tight and cramming it up your Hell Portal.

“Thank you for bringing your complaint to our attention. It was hilarious.”

The letter was signed “Hellion Resources,” including the trademark forked tail on the elongated final “s.” This was the part of the letter that blackened first. The small dot of discoloration spread quickly across the rest of the parchment, which was reduced to fine ash shortly thereafter.

There was no telling when the fiery nimbus had blossomed into existence around her. Succubus certainly hadn’t noticed. Nor had she seen the imps exchange frightened glances, tiptoe out of the mail room, and so save themselves from rolling initiative. The morale bonus seethed all around her, and Succubus felt like the living embodiment of a CR: Deadly encounter.

“Nice letter,” said the voice at the mailroom door.

Succubus did not turn. She did not bare her fangs. Her voice was even when she said, “Did you read it?”

“I have excellent eyesight.”

“Did you find it amusing?”

“No. It wasn’t funny the first time.”

Succubus did turn then. And the demoness in the doorway was holding her own sheet of company letterhead, complete with its own forking “s” appended to the end.

“What do you want?” said Succubus. And as the newcomer locked the mailroom door behind her, Succubus found her rage beginning to cool. She could feel it transforming with astonishing speed into an entirely different sort of heat.

“I think,” said the turquoise temptress, “That you and I might be able to collaboratively exploit our synergistic methods of empowerment.”

Succubus blinked. “What does that even—”

“Get over here so I can reconceptualize your client-centered architectures.” And what kind of succubus could turn down such an offer?