Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Unseen, But Not Unfelt (Patreon)

Your humble Bard, having opened Comely Consorts at Booth #3 of the King’s Arms Tavern, requests patronage of the well-heeled, adventurous, and smart set.

The following are specialties:

• Castle Blackmoor fashion, with somatic components: 350 sp
• Common old-fashioned Ride check: 250 sp
• Immovable rod on the edge of the bed, with one foot on the floor: 200 sp
• Bigby’s magic hand: 100 sp
• Hold portal(s), new style: 379 sp
• Somatic components, with juice: 50 sp
• Aberration style: 290 sp
• Mage hand: 49 sp
• Whirlwind attack, with or without levitation: 250 sp
• Alter self, jewels in mouth: 250 sp
• Full bardic, 10 minutes serenade: 260 sp
• MORDENKAINEN’S SPECIAL — The full troubadour, magnificent mansion to spec, choice of faithful phantom defenders / shield-maidens for inter-planar tickling with ethereal goose quill: 3009 sp
• Spectating an actual play, unseen servant: 75 sp
• Acrobatics check: 62 sp
• Simultaneous initiative: 600 sp
• Maid to order: 75 sp (summons), 150 sp (calling)
• Lute strumming while unseen servant applies exotic unguents; must stay within threatened area: 385 sp
• Insistent doorknocker for clients over 45: 100 sp
• Cursed or non-standard, extra: 50 sp

No discount for pp. Find the invisible creature and two-handed weapon matinees every Wednesday from 2:30 to 4. Customers must enter with quest rewards in one hand and weapon in the other. If you are under average wealth by level, stay at home and run a solo adventure.

Compliments to Mrs. F.A. Tasse for her inspiration and tutelage at the College of Lore.