Finding Your Truth (Chapter 2) (Patreon)
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Chapter 2 = The Revelation: The girl stared at me with her beautiful, almost glowing green eyes. My jaw was threatening to drop as I stared at her but I forced myself to calm down.
“Hey, m-my name is Michael.” I cursed my voice for stuttering when I was nervous. How could I not be though?
“Michael?” Alice said, her smirk still complimenting her face. “That’s right, the theatre student. Well you sure are a cutie now aren’t you?”
Alice smiled and continued talking as she walked around me. I felt myself blush as I realized she was checking me out from all angles. “Nice eyes, good size, hmm... and not a bad butt either.” She said with a soft giggle. I blushed even more, feeling like one of the mannequin’s that was on display. “We could really do a number on you girly,” Alice mumbled to herself mostly.
“W-what did you say?” I wasn’t sure if I had heard her right.
“Oh nothing hehe, nothing at all Michael.” Alice went over to her makeup table and then looked back at me. “Sooo.... you were wanting to learn some stuff about makeup?” She said coyly. “I’m sure someone like you could definitely put skills like that to good use.” Alice’s eyebrows moved up and down in a way that was as if she was trying to let me in on a secret.
“Uh... yeah. For theatre.” I responded, a little confused.
“Of course sweetheart, of course.”
What was she getting at? I thought to myself.
“Or... other things... ya know...” Alice chuckled as she traced a finger down my cheek that made me shiver. “I’m sure a cute little thing like you has thought about it before.”
“W-what’d you mean?”
“Oh come on Michael, do I have to spell it out for you?” She shook her head teasingly at me. “You can’t tell me that you’ve never thought about wearing makeup before.”
Who was this girl?? I thought to myself.
“Uh, yeah. What do you mean? I have worn makeup before. I’ve done theatre for years and...”
“Sweetie, we both know that’s not what I mean.” I could feel my intense blushing returning to my cheeks.
“N-no... I uh... I d-don’t know...”
“Trust me little bean; some blush here, some eyeliner there... I could really make you shine little girl.” At these words I found myself letting a deep breath out as I realized how close Alice was standing to me.
“Okay... I think I need to go.” I said nervously as I backed away from her and towards the door. “We can uh... talk about theatre another t-time.” I opened the door and went to leave. Alice called out to me before I left.
“Let me know when you change your mind sweetie...” And with that, I shut the door behind me.
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Meeting Alice had really stuck in my mind. Who was she? And how could she claim those things that she had said? And worst of all... how had she been so right? Those things that she had been saying about the makeup; and me wanting to try it. It was... kinda true.
Thoughts were racing through my head as things came to me from my memories. In the past, parts of me had longed to be desired by others, desired by people that I found attractive. I had looked at girls clothes in stores or seen all the makeup that my sister wore, and I would find myself jealous. I wasn’t gay, I knew that much. I wasn’t at all attracted to boys. Although there was a part of me, however small, that still secretly desired to be a woman. Or at least dress like one, or act like one. Alice had truly pointed it out. Maybe she had a sixth sense about that kinda thing.
The girl side of me was resurfacing another idea in my mind...
When I got home, I was happy that my roommate wasn’t around. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, but I opened up my closet. Hiding under a pile of clothes, was a package of pull-ups. It would be embarrassing if anyone found them and realized that they were for me for two reasons. One: They were pull-ups, plain and simple. Whether they thought I needed them or not would be embarrassing either way. And Two: they were girl’s pull-ups.
Weeks ago, when I found myself standing in the baby aisle, I had stared at the different packages and found myself quickly more drawn to one of the two packages of pull-ups. One of them had Spider-Man and trucks on their designs, the other had butterflies and flowers. My stomach bubbled with nerves as my hands closed around the pink package.
Back in my dorm room, my hands closed once more down on the pink package and I found myself eye to eye with the smiling little girl in the photo. Part of me wondered why the girl was even smiling. She couldn’t be happy about being forced to wear pull-ups... unless she wanted to wear them for fun or comfort... which is exactly what I was contemplating. I quickly locked the door to my dorm room and ripped open the package. The little crinkly things inside sent electric jolts of excitement through my body as I put my fingers on them. After pulling one out (One of the ones with flowers.) I shoved the rest of the package back into my closet and buried it under the pile of clothes.
I could practically hear my own heartbeat in the silent room as I looked down at the girly crinkly little garment in my hands. Was I actually going to do this? By this point I had seen hundreds of people, girls and boys, wearing this exact garment before; but I had never worn one myself.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I slipped my pants off and that was quickly followed by my boxers. I unfolded the pull-up and held it down next to my feet. I hesitated for a moment, but then stepped into it, one foot at a time. I could feel excitement once again running through me as I pulled the crinkly plastic up my legs and it rested on my crotch. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I felt so girly, and childish, and excited simultaneously.
Alice had woken something up in me, something that I had forced to be dormant. I was allowed to try something girly, and that was okay. Boys were allowed to be the silly ones too, or the submissive ones... or maybe even, I didn’t want to be a boy at all. I don’t really know what the means yet though.
I put my underwear in my laundry bin and threw my pants back on. With my heart still pounding, I grabbed my backpack and walked out of my dorm room with my crinkly secret hiding in my pants...
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This story was written by Zander Chesney
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