Store in Danmachi: 50 (Patreon)

Title: Hate Boners Everywhere

“You look happy,” Riveria notes as the two walk the dark streets of Orario, far from the bustling main streets, toward the City's Northern walls. Jackal cannot help but snicker at her words. “I am. Eina, Rose, and Misha work for my store now.”

His words slow Riveria briefly before she resumes her pace as he continues, “That means I’ll have enough people when I expand my business. I think I will open up a few stores right in front of the cunts who sent complaints to the Guild. Ha!”

“You could use a better mannerism in speech if you’re employing former Guild Employees,” Riveria tilts her head to glance in his direction with a critical look.

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves dismissively. “Ever the teacher, huh? And I asked May about some of the spices you wanted me to put in my food. She thinks elven ginger is a chicken’s mortal enemy and will ruin her morning. Oh, and the milk tree’s sap is bad for vegetables since they love Earth.”

Riveria finally stops. She looks back, eyes slightly wide with unbridled confusion as she questions, “Did you just have a stroke?”

“No?” Jackal cocks his head sideways with a curious look. “It’s how the ritual goes.”

“What Ritual? I gave you a list of reasonable spices and flavors for an elven palate to try something new.”

Their eyes briefly stare at each other in confusion before Riveria exhales from her nostrils. “Whatever.” She turns around, picking another topic for conversation. “You seem close to Mia. How did she take the news of your recent actions?”

“She treated me and my team with drinks!” Jackal chuckles. “I only had to pay for their food and Eina’s drink since she doesn’t seem to enjoy alcohol all that much.”

Riveria nods, turning to a narrow street before casually jumping past a three-meter-high metal grill. Jackal follows as Riveria speaks again, “Does Eina mind your foolish ambitions?”

“Foolish ambitions?” Jackal’s tone rises with great offense. “Listen here, you—” he thinks of something and frowns. “Wait, why are YOU so talkative?”

Riveria cocks her right eyebrow without looking at him, stating plainly, “I’m just curious why a Goddess as selfish as Loki will ever let her Lover court others. It makes me wonder if Loki ever thinks of you more than a mortal fleshbag.”

It’s sly-handed, yes—Riveria knows what she is doing. But she cannot help but feel the slightest bit of anxiousness birth inside of her after Jackal’s most recent display. She can still feel the pressure and the ambition pressing on her soul and mind. Others must have felt the same. Whatever that Magic was, it allowed Jackal to incapacitate several opponents at once—a uniquely valuable magic! And the lack of chants only makes it shy away from the levels of concurrent chanting.

No, remembering Jackal's rage as he used this Magic, Riveria knows it is already at the level of concurrent chanting due to a lack of incantation.

And there it comes.

Loki’s whisper—a prophecy as good as any given the cunning the perverted Goddess hides behind her sharp eyes.

‘He won’t settle until he devours us if I add him to our cute little Family.’

“A fleshbag?” Jackal’s ponderous tone snaps Riveria out of her thoughts as he chuckles behind her. “Why would I care what she thinks? We just drink and fuck. And if anyone’s going to fall for another, it’s definitely going to be that dumbfuck!”

Riveria discreetly glances back, her green eyes catching sight of a deceptively fond grin on the Butcher’s, nay, Svadilfari’s face.

“I see,” Riveria calmly nods, growing silent for the rest of the journey. They are bound to their training location, but instead of two eager girls waiting to beat the crap out of him, Jackal finds himself face to face with a twitching ball of grey fur.

“What took ya so long?!”—Snarls the bundle of annoyance with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“I’m fighting you?” Jackal smiles widely. “Great!”

“Finn needed Tiona and Ais elsewhere,” Riveria reveals as Jackal cares little about her explanation, squaring up without needing any other encouragement than the angsty expression on the werewolf’s face. “And? At least I get to fight him.”

“Fight? Me?” Bete frowns, scrunching his nostrils with disgust. “I ain’t fighting a weak insect!” He bares his canine. “Riveria, why did you call me here?”

“Spar with him,” Riverial states plainly as she leans back on the ledge of the walls.

“Hell, no!”

“Someone is sparring with me,” Jackal butts in. “It’s either you or Sweetness!”

“Fine, the Hag can spar with you.” He harrumphs, “Waste of my fucking time!”

He leaps off the wall with ease and lands in a dark alley while Jackal turns to look at the moderately irritated Riveria.

“Had you let me talk, you would be sparring with Bete,” she musters.

“Are you fine?” Jackal questions with interest. “You’re acting weird.”

“I suppose I am,” she sighs, crossing her arms as she questions. “That magic of yours, does it have a name?”

Jackal blinks as he walks near her before leaning against the ledge. “Something about the lines of the Spirit of Conqueror.”

“That’s the name?” Riveria raises an eyebrow. “It doesn’t have the usual mystical ring to it.”

“Gilgamesh’s Stare?” Jackal voices, trying to sound the name before shaking his head. “No, sounds rubbish.”

“Gilgamesh? The First Hero of similar standing to Argonaut?” Riveria hums in surprise. “Did your Falna get inspired by the Legends of Gilgamesh? I thought you disliked such tales with passion.”

“You still remember that temper tantrum, huh?”

“It hasn’t even been a week since then,” Riveria chuckles slightly. “It’s a wonder why Tiona didn’t try to read you some of the legends forcefully. She is quite stubborn like that.”

“She is?” Jackal sounds surprised. “She seems like a good girl to me.”

“To you she is,” speaks the Elven Royalty. “You should see the tears of Goibniu’s blacksmiths when she returns from the expedition as she forces her weapon onto them for repairs.”

Jackal nods before cutting to the chase. “Are we going to spar? If not, I’d rather spend my time Dungeon Prowling. Nights like this are a good time to train.”

“The Dungeon’s purpose is not to train,” Riveria hums. “It’s to explore the mysteries of this world. The stronger we adventurers are, the deeper we can dive into the Dungeon, and the more we stand to learn about its mystery and nature.”

“So? We’re not sparring?”

A flash of annoyance flickers past Riveria’s royal but stern features as she glances in his direction. “Is that all you think of?”

“Well, I didn’t have too great of a success tonight trying to cook your perfect Elven Bento, so I want to relax a little—training helps that.”

Riveria nods, “If you must leave, you can. I will make sure Ais and Tiona aren’t busy tomorrow night. They like spending time with you.”

Jackal glances at the elf, questioning, “Are you feeling fine? It looks like you’re about to sleep into the worst nightmare of your life.”

Riveria works her jaw, glancing at Jackal with a narrow-eyed look before turning away to stare at the stretch of the forest beyond the Northern Entrance of Orario. “I apologize for calling you a Fleshbag. It was rude of me.”

“Hey, I call you Nine Sweetness. It’s fine.”

“How about you learn from my example and apologize for it?”

“The truth needs no apologies!”

Riveria stares at his cocky grin before putting her hand into her frollet and retrieving a dark-brown staff. “I suppose I can teach you why the likes of Bete and Ais flinch at the rare slip of my temper.”

“Great!” Jackal grins widely, not knowing the ass beating of his life awaits as he stretches his arms. “About time the Nine Sweetness shows off some of her skills. Hey, if you aren’t angry enough, I should tell you Loki has the best imagination about us—”

*Thwack*

“—Doing—”

*Thud*

He falls on the floor with blurred vision, soon feeling someone heal him. He feels someone pressing the end of a thick staff against his neck. He blinks, staring up to find Riveria using her Butterfree Era.

“What do you think I did to Loki once Tione told me all about it?” The Elf questions with a rather gentle tone.

“So,” Jackal croaks. “There was some truth to the BDSM dream Loki had—”

Riveria realizes quite easily only the likes of Loki will ever find such a man ‘cute.’ Then again, persistence is not a bad quality in a man—she admits with no small annoyance as she raises her staff to vent the ever-living shit out of—ah, spar with Jackal.

He wouldn’t mind, right?

He kept on poking her.

He should have expected some consequences.

And if Jackal can keep up with the same lifestyle come the morning, Riveria will admit he is truly one of a kind. Because even the likes of Ais and Bete learned otherwise.

---

“What is with that smile?” A quiet voice inquires as Hermes looks up from the ledge of the Orphanage’s roof, feet dangling outward, to meet his Captain’s bespectacled gaze.

“I’m just thinking about things,” Hermes smiles shortly, patting the ledge beside him for Asfi to sit—which she does.

“Are you planning to keep your word about protecting the Orphanage until Jackal deals with Olal or the other way around?”

Hermes chuckles at her words.

“Word? You know me better. I like to honor trade and transactions. Not something as fickle as one’s word. Jackal and the Hermes Familia are in a transaction to procure his products for a discount for our services here. I put in the first order today—Butterfree Era for the members of the Familia.”

Asfi frowns.

“Jackal keeps a tight record of the adventurers he sells them to, including the Levels of the Adventurer. How did he trust your information so easily?”

Hermes gasps theatrically. “Your suspicion of my integrity carves my heart into pieces! Oh, what am I going to do?!”

“If only you had a heart,” Asfi snorts quietly. “Anyone with a heart would never deal with the likes of Olal.”

Hermes’ smile fades away ever so slightly as he sighs. “You can say a friend asked me to look after him to the best of my capabilities. I would have reconsidered the request had I known the disaster Olal would become the second he hears about Jackal. Besides, smuggling Olal to Orario sees us to a secured pathway to the Far East.”

Asfi exhales softly, shaking her head. “Things won’t stop, and the collateral damage may rise. As you say, the Ishtar Familia won’t act until they lick their wounds. But what next? Even if Olal or Jackal may die, Ishtar will chase after one of them, or us, too.”

“Ha- hahahahaha!” Hermes breaks into peals of gentle laughter that don’t sound jarring as he holds his stomach.

“What?” Asfi questions as she adjusts her glasses.

“You should have seen him, Asfi,” Hermes speaks between his snickers. “Ah, every deity around him could feel it. We could feel it in our Ichor!” He looks at the befuddled Asfi in her eyes. “Ishtar cannot Charm him. She will try and fail!” The slightest bit of vindictiveness enters Hermes’ amber hues as he grins. “We will live the way we always have—being everyone’s ally. How things turn out won’t affect us as long as we hold our end of the bargain.”

Asfi sighs softly, shaking her head.

“Well. You still haven’t answered why Jackal would easily hand you the required amount of Butterfree Era for incomplete information.”

Hermes flinches as Asfi eyes him seriously.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing that men like Jackal won’t appreciate,” Hermes is quick to cough. He avoids the topic, much to Asfi’s suspicion, by coaxing her into another topic altogether. “Besides, I look forward to what you can create from Butterfree Era! You can become the best healer using this! Better than Dian Cecht’s Captain!”

Asfi gives her patron Deity a sidelong glance before scoffing under her breath.

The duo shares the peaceful silence under the bright moon, prompting Hermes to muse. “Did I ever share the story of how a few of us Deities peeked on the Moon?”

Asfi takes a deep breath, “No. And you should rest by now.”

“I can’t.”

Hermes shakes his head.

“Why?” His captain frowns.

“Something feels off,” Hermes looks at the moon in a daze. “Miach has his potion tasting, Heph and Goibniu has their Blacksmithing, Freya and Ishtar have their charm, Takemikazuchi has martial skills and a stronger body to back it up, and I’m born to this world with a perception for Intuition.”

“Is something the matter?” Asfi questions instantly as Hermes continues to admire the moon.

“Yes,” he whispers. “But I don’t know what.”

The bright moon reflects in his pupils, his smile recedes, and his brows sink in contemplation. The rising wind causes a few poorly screwed magic lamps to rattle against the building as their lights flicker.

*Tk*

*Tk*

*Tk*

*Tk*

The rattling sound gently rings as Hermes blinks.

“Ah—”

“Who is she?” Asfi cuts Hermes off as she leaps down the roof onto the Orphanage’s fence, staring intensely in the direction opposite of Humble Jackal’s as a limping figure stumbles ahead. There are barely any wanderers in this part of Daedalus at such a time as Hermes, too, wakes up from his daze and jogs down to stand beside Asfi.

“Hmm?” He sounds curious. “Who is she?”

“She is bleeding,” Asfi narrows her eyes. The dim illumination of the Magic Lamps does not impede her superior, bespectacled-enhanced vision.

“Pl- please,” a desperate voice echoes in the subdued darkness of the artificial Dungeon of the City. “Help—”

She collapses as Asfi moves after wearing a remarkably familiar, pitch-black, segmented helmet on her head. Her eyes roam the dark streets cautiously as she whispers after turning invisible. “I will see if things are safe or not. Please return to the building, and wake Takemikazuchi’s Familia should things go wrong.”

“It’s probably nothing,” Hermes chuckles, but he moves as ‘requested.’

Asfi slowly inspects her surroundings as she moves ahead until she safely reaches the bleeding young woman. Her face is pressed against the dirty street, hiding her features, but her other aspects are clear to observe.

‘A weretiger?’ Asfi raises an eyebrow, glancing at the notable tear of the woman’s cloth on the back and not seeing any God’s Falna.

‘Or her Falna is hidden.’

Asfi quietly crouches near the body to inspect the figure further, staring at the two large golden spikes in her hands.

‘Who did she fight?’

The Captain of the Hermes Familia hesitates before retrieving a concoction from her new pocket of wonders—a frollet—and douses the most significant injury with the magical element.

‘There is nobody here,’ Asfi picks the woman once she confirms the stranger is unconscious. ‘I should take her to the Guild.’

Where else would Asfi take the stranger?

She cannot bring a stranger into the Orphanage she accepted to defend. Alas, rationality fails in the face of a concerned mother who barges into the front yard with an embarrassed Hermes following behind.

“Before you say anything,” Hermes puts his hands up in surrender as Asfi glares at the Divine. “I did not wake her up. She was helping Ron to the toilet.”

“Nevermind that,” Maria clutches her cardigan over her body and frowns. “That girl is injured. Let’s get her inside.”

“It’s dangerous,” Asfi calmly shakes her head, not letting Maria usher her inside the Orphanage as the woman frowns.

“You don’t expect to leave a defenseless woman alone, right?”

“A weretiger of any gender can hardly be defenseless,” Asfi argues but flounders slightly under Maria’s intense stare.

“Why not give her the benefit of the doubt?” speaks another voice as others turn to face Takemikazuchi, who shrugs. “If you help someone, you should never leave things to half-measure. Or you should have left her bleeding out on the streets.”

Asfi looks at the woman in her arms before sighing.

“Well, the Guild would have kicked her out in the morning. We can do the same. But she doesn’t leave her room.”

“Not even for the toilet?” Hermes questions as he feels the trio’s stare pierce into him.

“I’m just asking,” he shrugs whimsically. “Besides, we can always call the support of our Familia, too. Or what’s left of it loitering around in Orario.”

Maria nods gratefully, “Thank you. Now, let her in. I will bandage her.”

“It’s alright. I have a few potions—”

Maria cuts Asfi off with a shake of her head. “Don’t be silly. We are helping her, but we shouldn’t let a stranger entirely recover until we know who they are. A simple dressing of the wound should suffice for now.”

That works, too—thinks the remaining trio.

---

“Hah!” Riveria exhales sharply, feeling more refreshed than she would usually feel. “What a beautiful moon.”

Her anxiety, fears, and remaining insecurities—left her body with every passing strike as her ‘sparring’ partner was happy to deal with her. No, really. Jackal didn’t mind pain as long as he got a fighting chance.

And he did get a fighting chance.

Physically stronger than him she might be, Riveria still underestimated Jackal’s capability to learn patterns. He learned to move against her 15 minutes into the spar, openly goading that the likes of Takemikazuchi give him more trouble than a Dwarven Beefcake like her.

A DWARVEN BEEFCAKE!

Such a slight stung the Elven Royalty more than a misguided slap near her hips openly aimed for her buttocks the second Jackal got a chance to ‘rattle’ her.

It has only been an hour, but Riveria’s eyelids slightly quiver as she hears a soft groan behind her.

“Nice cake, Beefy.”

She exhales sharply again, angst filling her nerves for a whole different reason now Jackal accidentally found her trigger.

No, she doesn’t hate Dwarfs.

That would be immature of her.

She hates stupid Dwarfs.

And with every passing second, Jackal seems closer to a lean and mean Dwarf rather than a visibly beefy human.

She looks back, her knuckles squeezing white against her temporary staff as her jade pupils linger on the bloody but grinning youth who sneers in her direction.

“You didn’t think we were done just yet, right?” He licks his cut lip, eyeing her as if he’s the superior among them. “For all you like to prance about prim and proper, you’re just as impulsive as Dwarfs. So fucking easy to rile, Nine Sweetness, tch, tch.”

And she knows he is saying these things for that very reason—to rile her.

To get a rise out of her noble self, making her fall on the same level as his.

“The moon is beautiful,” Riveria sighs, smiling slightly as a bundle of irritation pumps in her veins. “You just have to butcher this night, too.”

Jackal grins, shrugging. “I’m learning a lot here! I ain’t letting off a teacher as great as you just after an hour or two.”

She works her jaws wordlessly before nodding.

“Better me than some uncouth Dwarf.”

“Don’t put yourself so down. You’re about the same level.”

And that did it for her.

***

Alternate Title: Riveria Learning From Loki’s Example; Riveria Plays With Fire: Gets Burnt *Surprise Pikachu Face*; When Bete Has More Sense; Jackal Just Want Some Fight!; Jackal Expands His Ritual, ehm, Cooking Options; Hermes’s Intuition; Jackal Goading Riveria For a Proper Sticking!; Hermes Likes Deals Over Words; A Secret Deal Between Jackal and Hermes?; Riveria’s Fear Becoming True Unknowingly; Loki’s Wet Dreams are Unhinged!; Riveria: The Future Dommy Mommy; The New Era of Hate Boner; Loki Passes The Will of Fire to Riveria; The Strange Weretiger; Golden Needles?; Sensible Help—Maria’s Motto; The Strange Moon; Hints of Future?; Hermes Peeking at Moon!; Jackal Gripping Riveria’s Handle; The Beefy Mommy of Loki Familia; Nine Cakeness; Jackal: Yes, Hmm, Cake!; Orario’s Bakery New Supplier: Riveria