Store in Danmachi: 41 (Patreon)

Title: An Elven Booty Call?

Jackal drops on his couch with a soft exhale as he sets Anya down. Loid climb on the furniture naturally, taking a good stock of their home before settling beside him as Lili stares at one of her two favorite spots—Jackal’s left and right—taken before she can even do anything. So, her chestnut hues glide over to the most mythical of all spots, the lap. She gulps slightly, hoping to make a move and continue things from where they left off outside Mia’s doorstep right before Hermes’s cursed existence denied her pallum self the sweet hold of her brute’s lips.

But this is a situation where Jackal’s trust in her plays against her.

Jackal leans his head back as Anya curls on the couch to fall asleep most naturally, as she’s full and tired at this point of the night. Loid has his eyes closed as he rests his head atop his crossed paws.

“Can you start the stove?” He requests, feeling oddly drained every time he thinks of the letters sent to Maria. “I’ll get to the kitchen in a minute.”

Lili nods quietly, reigning her thoughts in as she walks toward their not-so-open kitchen and starts preparing things alongside setting pans and large pots on the stove.

Jackal arrives as promised. His kitchen isn’t too spacious by any right, but it is well-arranged. This arrangement is the work of his previous mechanical self, but Jackal sees an odd brilliance in it. Again, cooking is an art that Jackal never knew he needed until he absorbed the memories of his life in this world.

The symphony of spices and aromatic, home-cooked meals simply gets his thoughts going more than the rare showers where everything clicks in one’s mind and a person wins an argument from years ago in their minds, or post-nut clarity.

He silently helps Lili wash several potatoes before placing them in a pressure cooker. He isn’t the kind to peel the potato. He likes to recycle the same water starting from potatoes or similar materials, not fearing any kind of dirt or mess simply because Demeter Familia sells the best stuff in the market, with many Adventurers specifically cleaning their products in a particular manner. They apply the same standards to the agriculture harvests they import, too.

With potatoes set, Jackal dismisses Lili with a smile, “Thanks, but you gotta sleep. I’ll cook today by myself.”

Lili hums aloud and speaks, “Will you join me, Jackal-sama?”

“Well, duh? It’s already a quarter past 12, and it’ll take me quite some time to cook everything. So, no dungeon tonight for me. It’s no fun spending around an hour getting to the 12th Floor and  returning after another hour.”

Lili’s smile grows prominent as she nods, her buoyant locks somehow bouncing cutely—He calls hacks.

She skips away with a soft tune while Jackal gets to cooking.

All those potatoes, you see? A petite Blonde swordswoman is going to inhale 80% of it before demanding a gemling in the most ‘cute-as-a-button’ face she can muster. Jackal is almost sure that the spiritually-attuned chienthrope of a Sword Princess knows what she is doing most of the time, including her charms to earn candies. Not the most efficient plan in Jackal’s eyes, but then again, better quality crystal than powder, right?

Or some shit like that.

Potatoes aside, he starts dicing up the vegetables in small bits.

His actions are swift and precise but not flawless. After all, he isn’t a professional, but that shouldn’t stop anyone from doing what they like. Ironically enough, Jackal will not preach the same to Olal. Nah, that man can die for all he cares.

Jackal slides the various diced veggies on the same chopping board instead of placing them in different bowls.

Who has time for that? And to waste several bowls for fresh vegetables? Nobody has time for that chore!

Next is washing the rice in stewpots and not one such pot.

He starts with the first pot and starts rinsing the rice. His previous self used small pots and pans because he only needed to cook for one, but now he feeds many—A small price to pay to hold the title of Bento Daddy.

After rinsing them four times, Jackal keeps the wet rice in the pot and fills another one upto 70% of its storage.

He repeats the process for the successive three pots, bringing a total of five stew pots of rice, knowing full well he’ll feast on one alone.

He will cook the rice last.

Instead, he oils the wok before breaking out the processed shrimp and other materials. He’s already tried his hand at killing this sea insect, but the result was still the same Scentless Pouch. His Trait seems to generalize low-energy creatures quite a bit.

*Srrssstttttt*

The wok sizzles into life as Jackal starts cooking crushed garlic and chopped chilis alongside their seeds, where the real spice is, and activates his magic stone-charged ventilator. Jackal would like to close the kitchen door to not wake Anya and Loid with the scent of the chili that can tear up the unprepared if not for the act of closing the door frowned upon in his previous life.

It’s not like the gas pipes charge gas stoves in this world, but he sticks to what he knows and accepts.

He doesn’t take too long to prepare the first batch of cooked veggies, setting the wok aside after covering it.

He makes another wok of veggies in a similar method. But the third one experiences a small change.

Well, the change started with the second Wok.

The first is the spiciest of the batch to Maria’s, Loki’s, Tiona’s, Lili’s, and his liking.

The second batch is milder to suit the taste of others.

The third batch is equally mild, but it has diced garlic instead of crushed ones. As it turns out, most of the kids from Maria’s orphanage wouldn’t eat their fill of garlic unless diced finely enough to sneak in—and sneak they shall.

Done with the veggies, Jackal walks out of the kitchen and starts setting up Bento Boxes.

“Keep an eye on Anya so she doesn’t try to eat other’s share willy-nilly. I’ll cook for the two of you, too,” He addresses Loid, seeing him awake.

His husky can apparently understand humans—big whoop. It just means he got a special edition of a man’s best friend. No one should question that kind of luck and jinx it.

Loid nods before yawning aloud, his long tongue flicking across his canine before he crawls forward and pulls Anya close into his floof.

Jackal smiles and gets working.

Since he uses the same wok for his rice, he divides the veggies on the small trays of the boxes before closing them and stacking them in different frollets.

And, of course, he isn’t an uncultured swine when it comes to cooking rice.

No, he does not use the rice cooked at the same time. He pulls out seven large bowls of rice from his refrigerator. Since the rice needs to experience the passage of time, Jackal does not store them in his frollets.

Cooking rice is pretty much the same, but the quantity is problematic.

‘I’m kind of lucky I don’t need to cook for Lunoire, Syr, Chloe, Ryuu, Anya, and May. But then again, May is a way better cook,’ He shrugs to himself, happy that he can momentarily distract himself.

He starts with the meat of the day after dividing the rice.

{A/N: Fyi, I’m kind of born and raised in a religious household where eating meat is frowned upon, so I’ve never really tasted the stuff. The closest thing to it for me is ‘Chaap’ and vegan meat. So, yeah, I’m going to skip the meat cooking due to my lack of knowledge.}

Once he prepares the sleep-depriving chicken, he fishes out the potatoes to peel them and mash them in a container. The water in the pressure cooker is divided into the stew pots filled with rinsed rice before he adds more tap water and sets them on the stove to cook for tomorrow’s meals.

He usually changes the meat course daily, but rice is quite the staple food in Orario unless you go to the pasta factory that is the Hostess of Fertility.

Jackal doesn’t plan to change the rest of the course. It’s mostly a lunch meal, after all. He isn’t aiming to cook gourmet shit, so decorations and the like are minimal, too. However, he does think of adding shrimp rice to the meal one of these days.

‘Now that I think about it, Tiona said she ate all the meat in Lefiya’s meals. But Eina doesn’t have a problem with meat,’ Jackal thinks while peeling the potatoes.

‘I wonder why. It shouldn’t be a cultural thing. I know a few elven adventurers who eat meat.’

He mixes flour, chili powder, and a slip of oil into the mashed potatoes before mixing them with each other until it is doughy enough. Then comes the simple act of shaping the dough into flat eclipses and frying them. He likes to add a layer of cheese to the core of the fried potatoes, but not today.

He packs the Bento Boxes after completing everything. As usual, one for Eina, Rose, Misha, Maria, Lili, Lefiya, and the rest. Five for Ais, two for Tiona, three for Naaza, and another two for Tione. He still needs to jot down Take’s Familia’s requirements, but one bento each should be enough for them, too. Of course, he has enough extra boxes to coax anyone into doing his bidding.

“Now, to cook for Anya and Loid!” He huffs in satisfaction.

However, a knock on his door stops him from deciding what to cook for his newly acquired pets.

“Hmm,” Jackal walks out with a sigh as Loid stirs slightly, squinting at the door with suspicion riddling his blue eyes.

“Ruff,” he barks quietly and jumps down from the couch before standing beside Jackal, who looks down at Loid before looking at the dead-beat kitten who doesn’t wake up at all.

“Well, I know who I’m feeding more,” he snickers and unlocks the door without bothering to ask who is on the other side.

“Yo, what the hell are you guys doing here? I’ll let you know that just because you’re an Elven Princess does not mean I will let your Nine Sweetness saunter into my private property.”

Riveria’s viridian eyes stare at Jackal blankly, not reacting to his words as she gestures to him to move aside.

He does so with a shrug, letting her in and closing the door behind her.

There’s a soft sniff from her side as she notes, “Did I interrupt your cooking? I always wondered when you had the time to cook. Instead, I should wonder when you have time to sleep.”

“It’s either dungeon prowling or sleeping,” Jackal sits on the other side of the couch and points out a chair to Riveria. The elf glances at the sleeping kitten before shrugging.

“You should buy something for your pets to sleep in,” She suggests the obvious.

“No fucking shit,” Jackal scoffs and questions, “So?”

“As you can imagine, Loki Familia knows about your situation with Olal Shen and how a good section of vendors have sent condemning letters to the guild.”

“And we all know those vendors don’t matter squat to me, Loki Familia, Olal, or the guild. Thousands of merchants outside the borders would do anything to set up their shops in Orario. So, if the current vendors want to leave, the Guild won’t bother them at all.”

Riveria nods, “It is your talent that worries the Guild.”

“My talent or their inability to find my patron Deity?” Jackal wags his brows.

“They aren’t here, obviously,” Riveria smiles with a nod, “Or you wouldn’t have allowed me to enter.”

“Hey, I trust Loki’s Sweetness!”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Better than Nine Hell.”

“I doubt it.”

Jackal and Riveria stare at each other until she sighs quietly, “Finn wanted me to let you know that the Loki Familia will not interject in your conflict with Olal Shen.”

“See? I don’t even remember asking.”

“It is only right to assume you could have such expectations after your recent encounter with Loki.”

“Encounter? Dude, we fucked. The only shameful thing in that is I slept with Loki instead of any other Goddess in Orario.”

Riveria purses her lips and exhales sharply.

“Wouldn’t you like to hear Finn’s reason?”

“I don’t really care,” Jackal shrugs. “Little guy is already managing one of the largest and strongest Familia. It’s not hard to assume he has stuff on his plate and doesn’t want me shoveling my shit in there, too.”

Riveria raises an eyebrow before nodding.

“But Finn’s orders are often subject to compromises, compromises he lets slide to ensure a functioning Familia. And until we leave for another expedition, he wants me to handle such compromising situations.”

“Loki?” Jackal questions.

“Well, not quite right. No one can bully our Familia. So if you and Loki do have more encounters—”

“Wild nights,” he corrects her, only to earn an annoyed glare.

“Whatever it is that you two do,” she punctuates, “Does not affect the Familia. And Olal is too smart to go against us.”

Jackal nods. “So, Loki isn’t the compromising situation?”

“Not quite.”

She explains calmly while amusement flickers in Jackal’s eyes.

“Sure, let me write down a note for Lili. Hey, Loid, give it to her once she wakes up, yeah?”

The husky calmly nods as he adds, “I’ll return with treats for you and Anya. And maybe beddings, too.”

The dog barks in affirmation as Jackal leaves with Riveria.

---

The stone walls of Orario are synonymous with Behemoths that keep monsters within and outside Orario separate. The stone walls tower a little above 150 meters, surpassing many buildings in the city except Babel. Babel itself makes these walls blocks of dirt in comparison. The width of the walls on the top easily exceeds the range of twenty meters.

With Guild employing Familias, most prominently Ganesha Familia, when it comes to public security, the top of these walls is a playground for the top members of various Familias. There is no getting around the fact that Familia Business controls almost all aspects of Orario.

Midninght’s wind whips against four figures on top of a relatively small section of the wall near the northern entrance of Orario as a pair of gold-red eyes stare at two petite figures of indignance as they fidget under his blank gaze.

“Say it again,” he speaks calmly. “Are you two calling me weak? Olal is without Falna. Do you really think I cannot kill him?”

While Riveria would like to emphasize just how much of a bad idea it would be to kill Olal, she remains silent and leans against a ledge.

“We didn’t mean that,” Tiona scratches the back of her head and pouts, “But you know, you’re kind of weak compared to Level 3 and 4 adventurers.”

Ais nods.

“Say what?” Jackal punctuates with a tone colder than the night wind, making the two girls feel worse.

“Look,” Tiona stares at Jackal earnestly. “We don’t want you to die! I don’t like how Captain turned his back on you. Our Familia could have easily helped you!”

“And you think I want your help?” Jackal crosses his arms.

The duo falls into silence.

Tiona clenches her fist and opens them constantly, not knowing what to say, while Ais is even worse in this department.

“Nah, I’m just messing with you two,” Jackal huffs and waves at them dismissively, “Wipe those frowns off your face. Sure, I’m happy to train with you two. In fact, I had a job for you girls till you’re in town, but Riveria shot me down on the way here.”

Tiona is the first to blink and look at Riveria, “What job?”

“I did not hear it,” Riveria hums as she closes her eyes peacefully, “And I won’t hear it now, too. I’ve been clear. The only way you two can ‘help’ Jackal is in this manner alone, and only when I’m the one who brings Jackal to you two. I should be able to throw off anyone who tails us. Besides, training with adventurers of your caliber should push Jackal’s stats at an acceptable pace. If we’re lucky, his unique skill should be geared towards such a workout, enhancing the results in the end.”

Jackal looks at them before questioning, “You girls planning to stop by my store later?”

They shake their heads.

“I’ll be sleeping!” Tiona admits bluntly, as Ais comments softly, “I need to check my sword.”

He nods.

“Well, here you go. I made these on time, I guess.” He starts taking out Bento boxes meant for their Familia as they move close to him with bright eyes. Tiona couldn’t help but pout seeing a gemling on Ais’ impressive stack of Bento Boxes.

“Hey, I still don’t get a Gemling?”

“Nah,” Jackal shoots her down ruthlessly.

“Come on! Just one!”

“Sure, I have ‘Fucking Idiot’ written on my forehead, right? I ain’t falling for it. If I give you one, Tione would want two—for her and Finn. Hmm, here, for Lefiya.”

He looks at Riveria and tosses her a Gemling, which she catches with her eyes still shut.

“Hey Ais, how about you share—” Tiona looks at her comrade only to see a wrapper flying off the walls and a tiny bulge against Ais’ right cheek as the girl stares back blankly—menacingly.

Tiona could practically hear Ais taunting in her monotone—” Whatcha gonna do now, you dumb Amazon?”

The dark-skinned cutie seethes before looking at an equally blank Jackal.

“I’m going to beat you to the inch of your life!” She vows!

“It would be a shame if you didn’t. I didn’t grill you two in the beginning for nothing,” Jackal stretches before taking off his tunic.

“No skills, right?” He questions as he crouches with one leg sliding sideways as he stretches out his hamstrings.

“No… skills,” Tiona works her jaws as she watches the impressive specimen on display only to find a fist barely pushing her aside.

She blinks in surprise, the chimes of her anklets and bangles filling her ringing ear.

It… aches very slightly, which is quite a surprise.

“Oh, I thought we started,” Jackal pulls back his fist before hissing, “Damn, feels like hitting bricks or something?”

Ais steps away silently as Tiona slowly turns to look at Jackal with a mad twinkle in her gaze. A toothy grin graces her round face as she giggles, “Not bad~!”

Her petite practically disappearing from his view as a fist buries in his face the next second, sending Jackal flying with blood splattering and the noise of a broken nose echoing.

“Ah, did I overdo it?” Tiona gasps, but surprising Ais and Riveria, Jackal slowly stands up. Blue Papilio dances on top of his head as he uses the Butterfree Era.

“Nah, that was perfect,” His tongue flicks across his lips, smearing the blood on his face as he stares at Tiona with mad delight dancing in his eyes, “I just need to get used to heavy hitters like you.”

Yet, as Tiona’s grin widens, Riveria and Ais stare at Jackal.

Tiona did not overdo it. Jackal’s head would be torn off if she did not control her strength.

‘But there is something wrong with his body.’

Many experienced adventurers noticed this early on during Jackal’s growth spurt, but his body is redefining the word ‘resilience’ daily. The fact he wasn’t knocked out only proves this.

“Don’t expect me to go easy after you played us like a meanie in the beginning!” Tiona giggles.

“Bitch, being mean is feeding Loki all the Gemlings while making you watch!” Jackal laughs as another kick in abdomen drags his body through the stone wall, bruising him at a pace visible to the naked eye.

*Nom Nom*

“Are you seriously eating your Bento now?” Riveria stares at Ais, her cheeks full of food as she nods.

“Tiona and Tione will try to take mine after eating theirs.” She answers after gulping her food, “And I need strength to beat Jackal continuously.”

Riveria rolls her eyes and lets their Sword Princess be.

***

Alternate Title: The Kitchen; Preparing Day’s Worth of Food; Little Shits Don’t Eat Garlic; Loid—the Top Dawg; Riveria’s Booty Call? One Can Only Hope; The Talented and Unknown Are Feared? What About Both?; The Potato Princess; Grilling Girls; A Job Opportunity; Fisting Tiona?; Tiona Fists Back; Jackal is Truly Calm and Reasonable; Not Edge Lording Because of Finn’s Reasonable Reasons; Riveria Cannot Say the Word F***; Encounters?; Cooking is Jackal’s Post Nut Clarity… That Came Out Wrong; The Rebels of Loki Familia; Finn Managing Contingencies Like—Riveria, Get Back to Work!; Mastering the Art of Coaxing With Candies; Jackal is THAT Guy; Only Needing A Omnivan to Complete the Harem-Napping Set; Tiona’s Nightmare—Loki Sucking Jackal’s Gemling; Insert Happy Loki Noises; Nom Nom Intensifies; Eat Ais, EAT!; Ais Refuses Camaraderie for Gemling; How to Excite An Amazoness 101 (Part 1): Beat Her