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Because of the sharp angle on the main picture, it was hard to see the proper dimensions of the Invictus. This was the model the artist put together. He made the hangar and cargo bay a bit longer on the picture rather than update the model, so they're a bit narrower here than they should be. I'll get him to update that for the next one!

Tefler

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Comments

Anonymous

Now that the Invictus has been upgraded with 6 engines and weapons, are you going to commission an updated picture of the ship we all love and desire for?

Roy Gathercoal

Maybe a lighter background would enable the dark version to be a sinister black. An in-your-face-what's-it-to-you black that sends shivers up the spines of the crew when they first see it. . .

Dark Storymaker

Nice! Gives a much clearer view.

Forbsey

Nice

Anonymous

Once you get the final version drawn it would be awesome to have a 3D printed model. I’d buy that!

Jim lynch

Are the black dots the weapon turrets ?

Anonymous

Thanks really appreciate and enjoying not only but the technical and the work you do with the rest of the things that you do to make this book better,. If there is ever a movie it's going to be already set

Anonymous

I'm assuming that this is the early "Assault Cruiser" state/version of the Invictus

Anonymous

Its a winner. Great detailing, other than hanger and cargo bays is the rest to scale.

Anonymous

So cool! Is this before or after the remodel? I assume before. Might you ask for an after shot? (Same q as Berg I think)

Tefler

Yeah, they're Laser Cannon turrets. 4 on each side on the bottom, 8 on each side on the top!

Tefler

Yeah, this is how it looks when John buys it from Olympus shipyard.

Tefler

The rest should be okay. It's just the bay doors that are a little off.

Tefler

I might commission the same artist to do two more pictures. One with a black version, maybe duelling a Drakkar cruiser, the second of the extended white version of the ship!

Anonymous

i would have thought that each individual piece of the Invictus, -whatever iteration- would be perfectly smooth, baring purposeful texture. the front of the underside is rounded, not how it was expected for me, but the rest seems very good, thank you and the artist.

Anonymous

Ok, now let's get a 3d picture (turnable) wireframe schematic of the inside :-P

Jedi Khan

Neat, now we just need someone to do an "Incredible Cross Section" of the Invictus, the Raptor, and the Valkyrie. If anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about, google it. Neat stuff, especially the Star Wars versions.

Anonymous

Looks like a pair of USB ports on a very knobbly laptop :)

Anonymous

It's been bugging me so I figured I'd say it. Your literotica work is amazing and I've read every word, twice. Then I bought your book on Amazon. Here the rub though, taken as a novel there is far far too much sex in the book. It gets annoying and cumbersome outside the chapter format of literotica. I would love a cleaner version with a few fade to black scenes and maybe 1 hot and heavy scene whenever they add a new girl. Honestly I think it'll be easier to sell, and better fiction. Just my humble opinion. Whatever you decide, please keep writing. I'm hooked

TargetDrone

it is something i have thought about as well... i don't mind the sex scenes, even enjoy them, but then, i am used to read them in small doses 2 or 3 times a month..... if you read tsm as a book (or as i did, binge-reread the whole thing) the flow of the story gets a bit cumbersome... personally i skipped over many sex scenes on the second and 3rd readthroughs, but i can see how that can turn people off buying your second book and onwards ....

Tefler

I actually agree, Roy, but taking them all out and replacing the scenes with some kind of hint at what went on is quite a major undertaking. There's a lot of trust and bonding moments thrown in there, as well as the actual physical changes from the Gift are often discussed too and I'd have to give it some thought about how to put those back into the story. :-) What I'll probably do is just keep editing the earlier chapters and compiling them into eBooks as I have been doing. Once the early chapters are out the way, I can then start bundling up the later ones as eBooks, which will be much faster as I won't have to spend so much time editing them. After the entire series is finished, then I can always come back and attempt the kind of rewrite you suggest (and it is a good idea). The problem with doing major edits on old chapters like that is: 1) It's boring. I don't really get any kind of creative stimulation out of editing my old work. 2) It requires a lot of concentration so it's quite draining. I have to be very careful with anything I write, to avoid accidentally ruining surprises later in the story. 3) It's very time consuming, which has a direct impact on my progressing the story with new chapters. It will probably be easier for me to just write a new series and keep to the frequency of sex in the later chapters. I'll see how I feel when I get to that point! :-)

Raymond Jeffries

I like the sex scenes. Later on in the story, they not only reinforce the bonds between the crew but they add another dash of humor into the story with their bantering. I actually think you do a really good job of varying the scenes Tefler, and as the story goes on I really enjoy how John has one-on-one "crew meetings" where there can be important dialogue mixed with the sex.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I agree with you Raymond. This is an adult space epic. Tefler can write a teen or children's story later if he wishes. It is inadvisable to switch canoes when you are half way down the rapids.

Anonymous

I'm in agreement with Raymond and John. Tefler wrote this in from the beginning and its what has gotten him to this point. Lets not change horses in midstream. To delete all or some of the sex scenes will drop spots that provide important views of the characters and their motivations.

Anonymous

I agree with much that has been said, which saddens me. I believe that Tef should finish this chronicle and start anew for a broader audience. No rush, but I foresee the demise of John Blake.

TargetDrone

i don't know why people predict the demise of john, or want a lower rated version.... for me personally i was just stating that i skip some scenes that have a filler feel to them... these aren't too numerous, but it happens from time to time. this wasn't meant as bashing on tefler or the story....

DCM

Thanks for taking time to explain the issue. I’ve wondered how it would sell and how it would read as a book. I think you might be on to something, finish the story as you intend it. Bring your enthusiasm for another story that it more mainstream. The sequel or prequel or something entirely different. But then I might be a little bit biased as I love the story as you have developed it.

Kim Biel-Nielsen

When I started reading TSM I really enjoyed the mix of classic space opera with steamy sex. As the story progressed it became apparent that Tefler really was writing a delightful and exciting story. Much erotica is charaterized by a weak story line filling the gaps between sex. I now enjoy TSM for the consistent and breathtaking story - not the sex. This comes down to the evolution of the story. However the sex is an integral part of story and the driving factor in the development of the girls. Trying to write the sex out of the story will not work or will requiere tedious brainsurgery to the story. And to be honest I would prefer that Tefler spends his genious on writing rather than rewriting. That said the lesson learned would probably be to tone down sex in future stories (not remove it) and continue to work magic with the story lines.

Anonymous

My $0.02c The mix of story line and sex scenes on the first chapters was wrong. Too much sex scenes. But on the later chapters IMO Tefler has achieved a 'perfect' balance. The story of John Blake just wouldn't be the same without the sex scenes. Keep this balance until the end on the John Blake Chronicles, but on the next story Tefler said is already on his mind, IF he wants to reach a wider audience he will tone down on the sex scenes, making them less graphic.

Anonymous

I was wondering why Maelnerak did NOT impregnate Valada? It could be possible that thrall go nuts when their progen die. Multiple times Alyssa has complained when John breaks their bond. I bet that she would fall apart if he died. Can you imagine the havoc the girls could do in revenge for their master's death. Is it possible that Valada developed and set off the wormhole weapon after Mael died. Maybe BSP has not killed him because of this concern? Unlikely, but an interesting thought.

Anonymous

Who is "BSP"?

Jedi Khan

I was under the impression that Mael did impregnate her, but not with a Progenitor child, hence why the women of the House Valaden line all have the triple helix DNA. As for the wormhole weapon, we know that was actually the wormhole drive of Mael's ship that he overloaded in battle against whoever the other Progenitor was. Valada was no where near that fight, having been left behind in Maliri space.

DCM

BSP = Black Ship Progenitor

Anonymous

Tefler has been stringing us along for a good spell on this one. We still have no clue who he is, except BSP. We know his matriarch's name and we doubt that he is Mael'nerak or Ranagon. He may or may not be family (brother, uncle, father). Any ideas?