Home
Artists
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register
Partychan Telegram Find&Fuck Waifus ThePornDude
Home Artists Posts Import Register

AML4 Script - Feedback Requested (Patreon)

Published:
2018-08-17 19:17:06
Edited:
2018-08-20 14:03:05
Imported:
2020-08

Content

 Hello all! Here is the script for AML4. If you have some time please review this and let me know what you think.

If you have any suggestions or ideas to improve this, please let me know. 

AML4

Intro: Maggie leaning on the bed with her arms crossed and a wicked smile on her face. Her cock goes from flaccid to hard

[Mary holding Bellas arms with a big erection inches from Bellas face]

Mary: What the fuck Bella?

Bella: Mary... im sorry Mary... you know that was my first time... being inside a girl, I just thought-

Mary: I dont want to hear your stupid thoughts! You DONT CUM unless I tell you too!

[Bella looks at Mary and doesnt know what to say]

Mary: Get on your knees. You are going to suck out every drop of your own nasty cum from her ass.

Bella: BUT MARY! PLEASE dont make me do that!

Mary: Stop with the Mary shit. Call me mommy and I said NOW bitch!

[Bella whimpers and gets on her knees]

Bella: Yes... mommy.

[Maggie laughs]

Mary: Maggie, turn your ass around and push all of that filty cum right into this bitches mouth.

[Maggie turns around and spreads her ass in front of Bella's face]

Bella: Mommy... please?

Mary: Suck your nasty cum out of her ass now.

[Bella begins licking Maggies ass and sucking on her ass, Maggie pushes and sprays cum all over Bella's face]

Mary: There we go. Good job baby. Do you like the taste of your cum?

Bella: Yes mommy.

Mary: [Patting Bella on the head] See sweetie, sometimes, when your bitch gets out of line you just have to help her remember her place.

Maggie: Mommy, I kinda have to go pee.

Mary: Oh thats great sweetie! Bella's face is all dirty so you can go ahead and help her get cleaned up. Bella, open your mouth baby. Maggie is going to help you wash down that cum too. 

Bella: Ok mommy [Bella turns and opens her mouth in front of Maggie]

Maggie: Holy shit! Really? Like, you want me to pee right on her face?

Mary: Yes sweetie.

Maggie: O-M-G! This is the best!

[Maggie stands in front of Bella and takes a few seconds because she is hard but starts peeing all over her face, aiming for her eyes and mouth purposelly]

Mary: There we go! Nice and clean!

Maggie: I love you so much mommy!

Mary: I love you too sweetie. OK! So now mommy needs to cum because this bitch ruined it for me. Lie down on your back so I can show you how face fucking works.

Maggie: Wait, what? But your dick was just in her butt! I dont want her butt juice in my mouth!

Mary: Maggie, do you want mommy to get blue balls?

Maggie: No but -

Mary: Do you want mommy to get mad?

Maggie: No...

[Bella laughs]

Mary: Bella, shut the fuck up. Since you like eating ass so much, go ahead and eat out my ass while I fuck her throat.

Bella: Yes mommy.

[Mary throat fucks Maggie, roughly. Cums inside Maggies throat]

Mary: Oh fuck... that feels so good. You're doing good baby just relax. Oh this feels so much better than your ass does Bella. Oh shit, oh shit, oh, im.... cum... cumming!

[Maggie is visibly choking and coughing up cum. She looks a little "drunk" due to the lack of oxygen. Mary looks a little guilty as she looks at Maggie]

Mary: Sweetie, are you ok?

Maggie: Yeah Mary [Maggie coughs up some more cum].

Mary: Do you want some water sweetie?

Maggie: No thats ok but umm... could I put my dick in your butt?

[Mary pauses and thinks for a second]

[Bella smirks to herself]

Mary: Yes, yes of course sweetie. I'd love that =)

[Bella looks stunned WTF face]

[Mary bends over and spreads her ass]

Mary: Here you go sweetie. Put your dick all the way up mommy's big fat ass.

[Maggie very nervously lines her cock up to Marys ass. Maggie takes a deep breath, puts her cock against Marys asshole, and slowly starts pushing herself inside Marys ass]

Mary: There you go sweetie, keep going.

[Maggie gets riggid, crosses her eyes a little, lets out a few loud moans, and shakes as she cums after getting about halfway inside Mary's ass]

[Bella giggles to herself]

[Maggie pulls out/sits down as cum leaks out of Mary's ass]

Comments

Monkitar

Alternative line at beginning is better IMO. This sounds pretty good, and hot 🙂

Cwolf

I think the alternate line of "I don't wanna hear your fucking excuses" works better. Also when Mary cums down Maggie's throat is there going to be any sort of cum inflation again? :D

AgentRedGirl

I think the alternative line is going to be "I dont want to hear your stupid fucking thoughts!"... slightly less harsh but still mean.

Anonymous

I think it seems a bit too agressive of Mary to call Bella a bitch, considering their relationship and all that kind of stuff.

AgentRedGirl
>>14743647

Yeah, I know it seems really harsh. This is meant to kinda show a little more what their relationship is really like. Mary is a total dom when it comes to Bella. More of this, and why Mary is like this, will actually be explained in Amys Big Wish. But Mary is REALLY upset here as well (you will see why when I post AML3).

AgentRedGirl

EDIT: made a change to Marys line "Mary: Here you go sweetie. Put your dick all the way up mommy's big fat ass."

Ciarán M

Oh wow, Mary is very harsh to Bella here, makes me all the more curious to see what happens in AML3 to cause this. Overall though, I do like what I'm reading here and a lot of it is sounding like the scenes in question are going to be very hot, this line in particular is one that I must say that i like a lot "Put your dick all the way up mommy's big fat ass" 😍. At the start, when the alternate line is "I don't want to hear your fucking excuses", I think that this one sounds more natural, though at the same time, to me it seems like the harsher of the two lines. And one quick thing, after Mary cums in Maggie's mouth and asks if she's okay, Maggie says "Yeah Mary", should she not say "mommy" instead? Or is Mary allowing her to say "Mary" because she's feeling guilty and being nicer in this moment? Not a major thing, I'm just wondering. And I have to say, the description of Maggie asking to put her cock in Mary and then Bella being stunned by Mary's approval is hilarious to me, I'm looking forward to seeing that 😂

Anonymous

Perfect!

Anonymous

I think Mary should piss on Bella too...

AceQ

I honestly think the dialogs are kinda cheesy... My suggestion would probably be "less is more". But I support whatever choice you make

AgentRedGirl
>>14746323

Yeah, I feel it is a little cheesy as well. I am just not totally sure how to convey some of the points I am trying to make with other words. I am trying to be a little "porny" too with this on purpose. But, if you have any suggestions on how to improve it, please let me know

Sgt Mac

Outstanding Red Girl! Points Are Made Direct! "Porny" Does Rhyme With "Horny", Another Good Point. Truthfully, This In "My Opinion"Is Some Of Your Best Yet! You Almost Seem To Be Loosing, Some Of Your Inhibitions, And Taking Charge Of Your Creation. Firm, But Gentile, Excuse The Pun! It Is About Time Someone In This Family Grew Some Balls, And Took Charge! Good Job! Love The Piss Scene Grea--------------------------------------t--Sgt Mac

Anonymous

can't wait.... :)

Anonymous

Works for me. However, I am curious whether we will see some bondage at some point.

AgentRedGirl
>>14750793

Yeah we will see a really nice bondage scene or two in the next series =) Tara is a bondage dominatrix afterall!

Spaz strike

Just ask for ball sucking sometime in the future :)

Terry

Omg just love it! Please make the face washing pee nice and long. Maybe a long first blast a short break while she catches her breath and then more, and Bella opens her mouth to enjoy a mouthful!

Gern L Blanston

Maggie calling her mother, “Mary” sounds wrong given she’s been calling her Mom all long. Other than that, works for me. 😎

bigwiggy

Poor Bella must have really done something really bad to make Mary so angry. Personally I think Mary saying "I don't want to hear your fucking excuses!" sounds better/more natural than "I don't want to hear your fucking thoughts!" but that's just my 2 cents. Also will we get to see Mary lay a *SEVERE* ass fucking into Bella at some point? I'd think that would be the punishment Bella would fear most, especially if Mary told her she's not going to be gentle like she usually is.

Futanari Fan

Hi Agent Red Guess I’m going to be a minority report here. The script above will work and many patrons like it but I’m not sure that it is in tune with the characters as developed in AML 1 and 2 where within the love triangle there was affection, infatuation and almost adoration. I wondered about Bella being contrite at coming in Maggie’s arse, as Mary was for coming in Maggie’s pussy, and offering to suck out the cum as an act of contrition. The difficulty for Bella is that she enjoys it, as does Maggie so Bella asks Maggie for a golden shower. Again both parties enjoy it and it gets Mary very turned on. Agree with Gern re Bella calling Mary Mommy – doesn’t work for me. Throat fucking with vigour etc then works okay; but no need for such aggression. Guess I’m just not into the dominatrix bit in this triangle. But however it goes it will be good and probably great I’m sure.

Anonymous

This is gonna be the best. However I would like if mommy gets a taste of both their piss too. More like the baby girl making a request. Only if possible and if you think it won't ruin the script

Anonymous

where does Anna come in?

AgentRedGirl
>>14765627

Anna would be at the very end of part 5. To be honest though, I am not 100% sure I will do that scene. it really depends on how far along I am with the Amys Big Wish characters at that point

Blazingsaddle

I think Bella giggles a bit too much for this scene and scenario. I also think Maggie should stroke Mary a bit longer making that scene more passionate since it appears Mary doesn't usually let anyone top her by Bella's reaction. Maybe have Mary tell Maggie to go slow "It's been a while" having Maggie then lick and finger Mary's ass to loosen it up a bit before she enters her. Major eye contact between them with Maggie climaxing after Mary tells her to spit in her mouth and kissing a little lol, and having Bella be forced to sit on the floor, shut up and watch. Sorry for the lengthy response

Anonymous

I feel "bitch" is a bit too much

Not Invader Zim

Yeah, way to much 'mean' for me in this script.

Anonymous
>>14756324

I pretty much agree with your post. I became a patron because 1 and 2 were relatively unique, cute, funny and, above all, sexy. Now the plan seems to be "how disgusting and ridiculously porny can i go?" If it continues in this direction, there will be one less supporter, not that it matters. I'll wish the artist the best, but this plan for 4 is pretty awful.

glrider

In and of itself, it's a decent scene. I am not so sure it fits with the tone of the first two episodes. Hear me out before criticizing. The first two parts were kind and loving, this new scene shows shades of S&M. It just doesn't seem to fit. Don't get me wrong, it's a good scene. And I'd like to see it some-day, it just doesn't feel right to be between these characters. It may be better in a different story, with different characters... three more mature, experienced adults. Not a Mother, a daughter, and another daughter-like character.

William Cramer

Well, my feeling about the piss scene is to have both Mary and Maggie really unleash a powerful torrent of pee into Bella's face. That would make it really really erotic.

Anonymous

I like that we are now seeing more of the dynamic between Bella and Mary. Although alot of people dont feel it goes with the tone of the first 2, i think it's supposed to be that way. The first 2 were just Mary and Maggie. Bellas relationship with Mary (even from the pic with Bella in the collar) seems to be more of a dom-sub relationship. So this goes right along with it. Especially since we can see (from the AML3 script) that Mary is trying to reward Bella. In the end, it's your vision Agent Red Girl, and I think it's awesome

Sgt Mac

Decadence And Voyeurism Along With Incest And Perversion Is The Matrix Of Red's Creation. Adding The Content Of S&M, A Long With The Rest Of The Secret Desires And Fantasies , Never Spoken, But Always Whispered, Is The Icing On The Cake"With The Cherry On Top"--Sorry Red, I Have Opened Pandora's Box, And Was Delighted With The Treasures It Held! Your Tracking In "My Opinion" Is Sinfully Delicious, And Dead On!--Cheers To You Red!--RS--Sgt Mac

Anonymous

Bella should cum at some point and try to hide it so she doesn't get in more trouble

Anonymous

Bella gets so much crap from them, good lord. She needs her own side story, lol.

sKorpion

agree with some others... though the scene is HOT in itself... very much so... would be better suited to different trio of characters... Maggie from first two episodes would NEVER be acting like that in front of her daughter! tooo extreme a change and MAJOR breaking of character... however... would LOVE to see that scene (or simillar) with Maggie, Bella, and _____ (insert not-Mary here) lol

sKorpion

MUCH better and more in character for all three ... two words: yes please! still would LOVE to see the rougher version played out with Mary, Bella, ____ (not Mary)