September Story - LoZ: Farts of the Wild - A Princess Lets Loose (6 - Final) (Patreon)

Link felt slightly better after a couple more hours of sleeping in. His neck didn’t hurt anymore, but his eyes still felt heavy. Nevertheless, he was ready to go about the day pretending like he had no idea what happened the night before.

He donned his usual blue tunic and wandered the halls aimlessly, picking up conversations from other knights and chambermaids. Nobody batted an eye at him, which relieved him. Everyone said the same thing: the restless princess once again snuck out, but this time she went to the festival. Rumors spread that she was spotted in town. However, nobody brought up mention of Link or even another person accompanying her. Instead, they talked about some possible unruly bawdy bandits who might have interacted with her. Impa was also feeling ashamed about not having successfully found the princess. Rhoam wanted to speak with her. Link felt bad.

Link wandered the courtyard wondering if Zelda was around there. However, after some time, he couldn’t find her. The king most likely wanted her indoors all day long. He gazed up longingly at her tower.

Just then, someone tapped his shoulder.

Link yelped.

“Did I scare you again?” Zelda said, snickering.

Link composed himself. She was wearing her usual attire – her blue tunic with a large brown belt and those…tight leather pants. She looked a little tired in her eyes, and she seemed to notice his tired eyes too. She whispered, “We had quite the night, did we not? Father is really upset this time.” She adjusted her hair. “I ditched my tutor a moment ago. I think…I stopped caring about what they want me to do. Everyone knows now that I had gone out drinking. I think I should stop sneaking around and start being straight up with everyone. I am not a princess to be tied down or told what to do. I shall pursue my interests whether they like it or not. I can handle myself now. I am an adult.”

Link smiled. He admired her resolve.

The two of them walked through the courtyard until they sat by the moat, watching the fish in the water.

Zelda sat back, hands on the grass, and huffed. She seemed uncomfortable, so she adjusted her belt.

“I still feel as swollen as an octorok. I never imagined a hangover would feel like this. Ugh. So unyielding. It feels as though it will never go away.”

Link eyed her belly. It rose over like a little hill. Not as big as last night, but still noticeably bloated.

Zelda watched the clouds go by, then instinctively rubbed her belly, sighing.

She ended up unbuckling her belt altogether, sighing again once it snapped off and fell apart at her sides. She continued to rub her belly. She murmured, “That’s better.”

Link tried hard not to stare. He kept glancing from the corner of his eye, but played it cool as if he didn’t notice or care.

“Thank you for last night, by the way,” she said. “I figured you carried me up to my room. That must have been quite the hike. I remember bits and pieces from last night. But I definitely remember you carrying me.”

She smiled at him. He smiled back.

A very audible gurgle could be heard between the two of them.

Zelda frowned. She winced.

“This might be too much information, but I have been breaking wind all morning long. Did that happen to you when you were hungover?”

Link, too shy to respond clearly, shrugged and mumbled and muttered. Zelda continued talking her thoughts aloud. “It has been nonstop all morning long. I am afraid I might have to break wind in front of you.” She chuckled.

Link’s heart throbbed. Why was he reacting this way? He thought about what he secretly witnessed hours ago. He couldn’t wait to hear it again.

Zelda rubbed her belly. She pushed down hard, as if moving aside the gas. She continued to wince and cringe and moan and groan, until finally her eyes widened, and she stopped.

“Oh my. Here it comes.”

She raised her right leg a little, lifting her bum off the ground, and a trumpet-like blast erupted from her bowels. PRRRRRRRUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPP! Link watched the satisfaction wash over her face. He closed his legs tightly, hoping she wouldn’t see his growing bulge…

“Ahhhh.”

After a prolonged silence, she looked at him and started laughing. “I think you are the first boy I have ever broken wind in front of.”

“Really?” Link asked.

“Oh, well, I have broken wind in front of Impa and family members before, when I cannot help it. This morning I nearly soiled myself in front of my father.” She then couldn’t contain her laughter. “I cannot believe that I am telling you all this! Oh, I trust you would not tell a soul. I cannot imagine what people would think about a princess breaking wind.”

Link’s feelings swelled up and warmed him. He wanted to reach out and feel that belly, poke it, caress it, grope it. He shut those feelings away, locked them, and smiled at Zelda.

“Your secret is safe with me,” he said.

“I know it is. With you, all of my secrets are safe.”