[Conf. Call] Blargh (Patreon)

Hey y'all, Misty here!

I've been radio silent for the better part of the year, but I wanted to make a post since, apparently, I didn't pause this month (as you've no doubt noticed, I already paused next month so I'm absolutely sure I hit the button ). 

Needless to say, I've not been well mentally and emotionally. I've started a fair number of pieces and just been... unsatisfied with them when I go back to continue. In the meantime, I've been reading and trying to absorb all sorts of other author's storytelling techniques. It's an "apple vs pineapple" situation, to be sure, but its the sort of thing that's gotten me out of a rut before.

Side note: I'm also willing to admit that this (meaning Patreon) is part of my inability to maintain work on a story. It's hard to put into words, but there's something about posting new work that makes it feel like I'm tossing something small into a chasm and hoping that will fill it. That said, I will get something done this month.

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Elsewhere, my work/life balance has been suffering. I'm coming up on two years spent working on a Selenium-based test suite to run cases on a vendor's UI. I've got a lot to show for that effort, but I'm still not quite over the finish line. I'd wanted to be done in July, but that deadline came and passed with miles to go. 

I feel beyond stressed—and I never say that thanks to, well, everything about me growing up. Like, usually, I don't notice stress. It's been a part of my default for so long that it's background noise at this point. This though? This shit is intense. I'm having frantic half-dreams where it feels like reality is sheering and warping chaotically. There's not a good way to describe it besides that I'm dreaming of pure dread and anxiety.

Anyway, until next time, be excellent to each other!