Happy Late Pride! (Patreon)

Random post, but...

Last month was a strange month for me for many reasons so I didn’t wish everyone a Happy Pride like I normally would. But I know people are still celebrating Pride somewhere; Munich, is it?🤔😂

But I was looking through my old posts from my blog that I had years ago and found this one that I wrote the same time of year but 7 years ago when I was just an innocent young thing full of hope.

Check it out if you’d like to know a little bit more about me:

BLOG POST

Ever have one of those friends who will always be there for you? And no matter how badly you treated them you can just pick up right where you left off?

Well, my friend "Tony" is exactly that kind of person.

He just called me. I decided to pick up because it's been 17 months, but who's counting? You would think after all this time I'd be over him, even if I really believed I was in love with him.

So I answered the call and we both spoke as if nothing had ever happened. We pretended that I didn't tell him that I wanted to be with him, we pretended that he didn't reject me, and we pretended that I didn't text him my true feelings (several times) and why I could never see him again. Yup, we have one of those beautiful relationships based on honesty.

As soon as he spoke, I knew I had made a bad decision in answering the phone. It wouldn't be a Tony party if he didn't start the conversation with his famous, "Well, hello, hello!". He works at Disneyland and has always had an innocent, "Goofy" quality to him that I love.

He's basically a big kid. A 6'3" big kid who almost always thinks positively and has a unique talent for forgetting anything that doesn't sit well with him.

So we talked and caught up on what was going on in each other's lives. I was doing fine until he mentioned that today was his boyfriend's birthday. I already knew he was seeing someone because we recently became instagram friends again and I went through every one of his pictures that he'd taken over the last year. Not a stalker here, just a concerned citizen.

A short young man was in quite a few of Tony's photos. The guy looked...nice. I'd like to call him something else, but I'm trying to grow as a human being. What hurt was that they looked happy together.

Ugh! There should be a rule that we are physically unable to fall in love with people who don't love us back. A lot of time, energy, and tears could be saved.

I hate that anyone could have this hold over me. I thought I was fine. I was living my life and as soon as I picked up that phone, all those feelings came rushing back. My chest filled with lust, then anger, then jealousy, then laughter, and then love. I still love him. But if it truly is love, then I should be able to be happy for him. I should be happy that he is happy. And he really is.

He and his boyfriend are about to celebrate their 1 year anniversary. That was like ten thousand daggers to the heart, but I'm happy for him. I have to be because I don't want to hurt anymore.

Maybe he keeps coming back into my life for a reason. He is tall, charming, witty, makes me laugh, always looks on the bright side, has never lost the childish innocence that most of us have forgotten and he loves with all his heart.

He has a lot of qualities that I want in a boyfriend and that's what I will look for from now on. It is rare to find a man who loves unconditionally. Maybe when I learn to love without conditions, I'll find someone who will love me in the same way.

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Happy Pride everyone! Hope you all have people in your life who love you unconditionally no matter who you are!

Also, has anyone ever experienced unrequited love?