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STUPIDEST THING I EVER DID | STORY TIME #85 (Patreon)

Published:
2018-04-29 22:18:09
Imported:
2021-05

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STUPIDEST THING I EVER DID | STORY TIME #85

We've all done stupid things, right? Well, the stupiest thing I ever did was even stupidester. Want to support me? Support me on Patron! https://www.patreon.com/RantingGryphon Want the game? Get it here! http://store.steampowered.com/app/264710/Subnautica/

Comments

Skyfox

Thinking back to your days when you were a cop and applying that knowledge to your story, if someone sees a cop and runs, and the cops chase, tackle, and arrest that person when they weren't looking for anybody to begin with, what crime did that person commit to justify the arrest? I've done a lot of stupid shit throughout my life, but one popped to mind that's a good one. As you might imagine since it's about me, it involves nudity. Where I used to live with my parents, there was a county park on a lake a couple miles due south of us, but the route required a mile east or west, a couple miles south, and then a mile west or east. Aside from the park there was exactly one house on the lake, down around a bend, so with so much seclusion in such an awesome natural setting I loved going there at night in the summer for skinnydipping. I rode my bike to get there and back, and once in a while the night air was so pleasant I remained nude for most or all of the ride home. There was almost no traffic at that time of night, and if there was the rural setting made it easy to get off the road and out of sight until they passed (which I always did regardless; assholes at night love to harass people on bikes). One fine night when I was nude for the ride home, I never saw even one car the entire time. When I was maybe a quarter mile from my driveway, a car came around the corner at the stop sign about a block from my yard. I figured "screw it, I'm almost home, I'm going to keep riding and if they don't like it, I'll be home by the time they can do anything." Well, fate called my bluff because sure as shit, that car turned out to be a cop. In the same instant it passed, I realized it was a cop and I could see the bright red glow of brake lights. I hauled ass as hard as I've ever pedaled that bike in my life, got to the corner of my yard, shot across the yard and around the house, and ditched the bike behind the house. I laid low as the cop slowly drove past, shining spotlights in all directions. As soon as it was past, I threw my bike back where it usually goes and got into the house as quietly as I could. Up in my room I watched the cop drive up and down the road for what seemed like forever, probably 10 or 15 minutes, with some long gaps to dupe the naked bike rider into thinking they were gone for good. Once my heart attack had subsided, I was able to get to sleep. The next day I happened to be in the front yard for some reason and I could see my bike tracks through the grass. I had passed less than a foot from a tree stump I forgot was there. A few more inches to my right and I'd have crashed the bike, been hurt, and been caught. I can't believe how lucky I was that night, even more so than the time a cop drove by right after I set the neighbor's abandoned mailbox on fire.